The Israelites left Egypt in haste,
No time for the bread to rise
No time to be puffed up
Or puffed out
Yet the women remembered to take their gold and their timbrels
They thought they might need music,
That they might celebrate
No longer being slaves
Their freedom

What would I take?
What makes me not a slave?
Bubble bath, paints, my camera,
Something I want to read, a novel
Leaving makes us clean out
Sweeping the floor clean for the next tenant
Taking the mezuzah as a final act
Searching for all the old chamatz
The schmutz, the dust, the crumbs in the couch
The old salad dressings, the moldy cheese,
The who-knows-what in the recesses of the icebox,
Gone,  thrown out, away

I have been preparing for this day
For weeks, not hours like the ancient Israelites.
Now it is almost here.
Now is the time to take the first step.
Toward freedom
Step by step by step.
Slowly
For there is another preparation
More to throw out
Out with the shame, with the guilt, with the old faulty thinking
Replaced by more and more freedom
Knowing that I am loved
Safe and secure
Joyful and grateful
To be alive
To experience freedom
To begin again

The Israelites stood at the shores of the sea
The women with their timbrels in their hand
Still scared, wanting to turn back
Back to what they knew
Back to the familiar
Nachson stepped in and the sea parted
The sun came out
A rainbow emerged
Hineini the Israelites said.
I am here.
Their journey of a thousand miles and 40 years began with a single step

My journey begins with throwing out the salad dressing
The sun is coming out
A rainbow is emerging
Hineini I say.
I am here.
B’tzelem elohim
Created in the image of G-d
I am loved.
My journey is not complete but I am on my way.
Towards freedom.