Yesterday was the 34th day of the omer and it finally felt like Spring, or Summer. Simon mowed the grass. Yes, really. With an electric mower that we now own that is supposed to be better for the environment. Everything is blooming and the world looks beautiful. The lake behind our house, part of the wetlands, is filling back in. It is very green. Bright early spring green. The trees are starting to get leaves and they have that lacy look. For years I have been trying to write a poem with that language to no avail. You just have to see it to appreciate it. They make me smile and warm my heart. We had a steak on the grill and are planning how we want to use our outdoor space in summer.
And yet, and yet. I am not happy. I spent much of my “day off” working on some synagogue things, including an email exchange that had been very hurtful to two people. Email is an important tool but it is a blessing and a curse. It may not appear in the list in this week’s parsha or the longer version in Deuteronomy. It is, however, both a blessing and a curse. If not used carefully, the words can hurt. I think it is like the story of the two women who go to the rabbi because each is gossiping about the other. He (it is always a he in those stories) tells them to take a feather pillow to the town square and cut it open. Then scatter the feathers to the four winds. They do this and return to the rabbi. He sends them back to collect the feathers. “But rabbi, that’s impossible.” He says, “So it is with words. Once they are spoken they cannot be gathered back together.” With email, it is hard to distinguish tone. A one letter typo can change the whole meaning. I once spent two days puzzling over an email from a happy client. “Thank you very much for coming to France. We learned a great deal. It is not going through channels.” The writer had meant, “it is now going through channels.”
Today is yesod b’hod, the foundation of beauty and humility. Hillel taught in a place where there are no men, strive to be a man. Words are building blocks. We need to be careful with our words and strive to be menschen. We should not use our words to hurt others feelings. We should think before we speak or before we hit the send button. Then we can build the foundation of our community. It’s a beautiful thing.
Sorry about the hurtful e-mails. I’m glad that you’e there to try to smooth things over. I agree that one must be careful with e-mail.
The story of the feathers blowing to the four winds and being unable to retrieve them is one of my favorites. In this day and age communicating with others includes email and facebook. They are both powerful means of sending messages. I am appalled by some of the things that I read there and am seriously contemplating discontinuing my membership. It is a dreadful waste of time for most of us. It may be age related but my grandchildren never write letters and they are the main reason I have stayed on it. I could list all my reasons for disliking it! Writing is tricky and we may inadvertently hurt someone with our written words. It is better to be safe than sorry!