We are almost at Yom Kippur, and still I do not feel prepared. Still I get angry. Today there are two bloggers. One a retired literature professor. One a soon to be Bar Mitzvah who will read these very words of the 13 Attributes next week during Sukkot.
Barbara Njus says, “I found a commentary…about the 13 attributes. www.conversativeyeshiva.org/slichot-the-13-attributes-midot—god-teaches-us-how-to-ask-for-divine-forgiveness Its subtitle is: “God Teaches Us how to Ask for Divine Forgiveness,” and concludes, “The potential for forgiveness is no longer in Divine hands but in our own. God’s forgiveness is as sincere, and only as sincere, as our desire to be forgiven.”
“This email commentary has an interesting paragraph on Jonah and his anger at God’s forgiveness to the people of Nineveh. This commentary says, “Jonah does not explain his wrath,” which is a good question. Jonah essentially tells God, Why did you make me shlep all the way to Nineveh, when you are a merciful God and were not going to destroy the people of Nineveh anyway? God’s answer is also wonderful, of course. He says, But why should I destroy “the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left – and also much cattle?” The commentary paragraph also mentions “accountability and responsibility for one’s actions [as] important means for maintaining social order.” And wasn’t this Jonah’s problem, that he didn’t want the responsibility?”
“If our own forgiveness is in our hands, so we must first own the responsibility for our actions, our lives, our choices. We must acknowledge our need for God’s forgiveness and our desire for God’s forgiveness deeply enough and sincerely enough to allow God to forgive us.”
I would add, that she is right. Sometimes we don’t want the responsibility and that makes us angry. Sometimes we think we know the outcome, as did Jonah, so why should we bother? Jonah certainly didn’t want to. He was so angry he ran away, all the way in the opposite direction to Tarshish.
Then AJ comes along, and as young students can do, he teaches us. His Haftarah portion says that G-d is angry. So angry that G-d is willing to punish the world with an earthquake. Here is what AJ says: “My haftorah does not start out nicely. G-d is angry and promises that if the Israelites do anything wrong G-d will do something unspeakably horrible to them…..like an earthquake. Does G-d cause an earthquake to punish? Even this summer, people tried to say that G-d punished the people of Oklahoma because maybe they didn’t observe all of G-d’s commandments. Why would G-d do that? G-d is supposed to be compassionate and kind, slow to anger. Why does my haftarah say that G-d has a raging anger and a blazing wrath. I think this is because the Israelites haven’t been listening to what G-d has been telling them…kind of like how my brother doesn’t listen to anything I say and I get very frustrated just like G-d.”
If we are trying to be like G-d, we should be compassionate and kind, slow to anger. It doesn’t say we can’t be angry at all. It can be frustrating when we think we are not being listened to. G-d gets frustrated with the Israelites when they dance around the Golden Calf and later one. AJ gets frustrated, just like G-d, when his brother doesn’t listen. Part of Yom Kippur is recognizing this in ourselves and learning how to be slower to anger and more patient. Part of Yom Kippur is forgiving ourselves. As the words of Kol Nidre say, “Vayomer Adonai Selachti Kidvarecha.” And G-d said, I have forgiven you according to your word.” Divine forgiveness is already assured. Forgiveness is now in our own hands. May this Yom Kippur be a day of forgiveness, atonement, wholeness and peace.