This week there has been a lot of chatter of whether Christians hosting seders for themselves or Jews inviting non-Jews to seders or Jews helping churches to lead their own seders is a good idea or a bad idea. Here are two links:

http://sicutlocutusest.com/2014/04/11/no-christian-seders-please/

At first I thought I agreed with J. Mary Luti. And I even felt guilty for being complicit in helping churches, even some of her beloved United Church of Christ churches have a Passover seder. I agree. I don’t want my symbols reinterpreted into something they are not. I want to recognized as an authentic Jew, as an authentic religion. I don’t believe that Christianity superseded Judaism and I don’t hope that I will eventually “see the light.” I do understand that Judaism has continued to evolve and a seder today does not look much like a seder in Jesus’s day–or that of the rabbis of the Talmud.

Then I started thinking more. I was pleased when Rabbi Evan Moffic wrote this piece. seemingly in response:
http://www.religiondispatches.org/dispatches/guest_bloggers/7794/why_christians_should_have_a_passover_seder__a_rabbi_responds/

For me, having non-Jews at a seder, is something we have always done, as far back as I can remember. The Haggadah says clearly, “Let all who are hungry come and eat.” Growing up my father would invite lots of people from Northwestern where he was a professor and there were always non-Jews. In the 60s, there were lots of community seders. Opportunities for Jews and African-Americans to explore their common heritage of the Exodus and freedom from slavery.

In Grand Rapids, the pattern of inviting people , Jews and non-Jews, whomever did not have a place to go, continued (except the year he was in the hospital and we went to someone else’s house). In Grand Rapids, Good Friday was much more observed. Everything was quiet. Everything was closed. People either went to church (we did not) or stayed indoors from 12-3. In my family, we were painfully aware of how dangerous Good Friday had been for the Jews especially in Europe. We were always fearful that something like that could happen to us. It was ironic that my Bat Mitzvah was the Friday night of Passover–Good Friday.

Throughout my married life we have hosted seders in our home and led seders in any number of churches. There have always been non-Jews invited frequently members of the clergy, who are amongst my best friends. My father was never entirely comfortable with how open I was about my Jewishness. While he never denied his, and our home was open, he worried about my safety. I think that part of why I do as much interfaith dialogue work as I do is precisely from this fear.

If we are open and welcoming, then non-Jews come to know us on our terms, for who we are today, as real people. It takes some of the mystery and fear out of it. If G-d forbid there is an anti-Semitic incident in one of our towns, then we know who to call on and they show up. Fast. One year there was some graffiti spray painted on the synagogue in Lowell, just before Chanukah. We called the police, the ADL (standard) and I called the leaders of the Greater Lowell Interfaith Leadership Alliance. GLILA members showed up before the police got there. They were instrumental in rededicating the synagogue.

I would love to say that anti-Semitism doesn’t exist any more. I would love to say that we don’t need to be vigilant. The horrific events of this past week prove otherwise. I would love to think that it doesn’t happen here in Elgin. It does. There is not a student in our middle school program that doesn’t feel that he or she has been bullied, picked on, teased because he or she is Jewish. The local clergy council in McHenry is actively working on responding to an incident in one of the local schools.

Along the way, I have learned things about leading interfaith seders. They always enrich my own observance. When I can explain my faith, my practices, my celebrations to non-Jews, in language they can understand, it deepens my own celebration. The conversations are more meaningful. The casual exchanges over the meal itself are important.

This year was no exception. We had guests at our home seder from a noviate in Godfrey, IL. Catholics training to become priests from Zambia and India. They had never spent time with an American family. They had never met a Jew before they met Simon and me several weeks ago. We had an Episcopal priest and his partner. We had an attorney who had just returned from Tanzinia and an English professor who had taught there. We had Jews, non-Jews, blacks and whites, 16 of us in all.

At the synagogue community seder we had 65 people. We had Jews, people who were not born Jews but have converted, people in the process of converting for whom this was their first seder, people who were born in the congregation and people who just found us this year, non-Jews, the Lutheran pastor who bought our chametz and some of his congregation, people who found us on the internet, the police officer tasked with keeping the building safe.

Some longtime members were surprised to find non-Jews. They can’t remember other years where this had happened. They thought it was unique and meaningful to have visitors join us. One delighted in showing off the sanctuary and the Torahs after the seder ended. Perhaps previous spiritual leaders learned in the codes, as did I, the following Teshuvah in my codes class in rabbinical school:

There is a general prohibition against inviting non-Jews for Yom Tov meals, which is because of a decree, lest one cooks for him on Yom Tov (which is forbidden; see Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 512:1). However, in certain cases Chazal were lenient, for instance where he came uninvited. This is certainly true today for the night meal, which is never cooked after nightfall, and everything is ready in advance. In particular, one can be lenient for a non-Jew studying to become Jewish, as we find many matters for which we are lenient in such circumstances (see Minchas Yitzchak Vol. 3, no. 8). Another special leniency is for a housemaid etc. (Rema, Yoreh De’ah 113:4).

However, the Teshuvah concludes with this: “Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach also records that the custom of old was to invite non-Jewish dignitaries to the Pesach Seder; this was apparently important to promote good relations between the Jews and their non-Jewish neighbors or hosts (see Shulchan Shlomo, Yom Tov Vol. 1, p. 207, note 8).”

So yes, I will continue to invite non-Jews to our seders. And I will do it unapologetically. My hope is that it brings peace into the world. My hope is that it makes the world a better place. It makes my world better.