Our next guest has a similar idea to our last guest. Ken Hillman is a business owner who specializes in the gluten free food industry. He is a member of Congregation Kneseth Israel, on the education committee and grew up Bnei Jeshurun in New York City. He consistently makes me laugh. Maybe that is peace.

Peace is a funny word; people use it all of the time and assume you know what they mean. Ironically, however, it is one of the most contextual words I know and more often than you might think, two people using the word peace may be speaking about two totally different things. As a young Hebrew Student, I always thought it was odd that “Shalom” meant three things (say it along with me “HELLOGOODBYEANDPEACE”). Shouldn’t it only mean just one?

When the word Peace refers to a standing between two nations, it is merely a cessation of hostilities; peace is the absence of war. There is no emotion in this, simply a lack of fighting to “hit the bar” so to speak. If two nations are not firing weapons and killing each other, there is peace. Detente is peace, as is friendship or alliance. The bar is set low and compatibility, respect and harmony have no standing in this definition.

The peace in the house (or Shalom Bayit) between a married couple sets the bar slightly (okay…much) higher than the peace between nations. In Shalom Bayit, peace means mutual respect, harmony and nurturing. But we also learn in the midrash that there is compromise needed (and even a white lie, sometimes) in order to preserve Shalom Bayit. God omits Sarah’s comment about Abraham’s age in order to preserve Shalom Bayit…and if it’s good enough for God, shouldn’t we all learn to do what’s needed to preserve marital harmony? A little give and take, a white lie…no big deal

The most personal peace, however is inner peace. This  to me is the most stringent bar set as it is the most difficult to achieve. There can be no little white lies to achieve (or maintain) inner peace-there can be no inner peace without complete self acceptance: no lies, no white lies, no blemishes. This peace is very fragile and is broken often-threatened by every word and deed in everyday life

This is why to me, the word peace reminds me of a Monet…from far away it looks so beautiful and simple, but the closer you get, the more complex and the greater the granularity you need to navigate in order to achieve it. Peace is a funny word…

Ken Hillman