When I went to Weight Watchers this week, I was reminded of an important word, sustainability. It feels good to get back on track after the holidays. All of the holidays. Undoubtedly some of you made New Year’s Resolutions. I wrote my annual New Year’s letters. I was pleased that I had achieved many of my goals and expectations from last year and know that I still have a lot of work on some of them. I outlined my goals for the year. Some of them are doable. Some are probably not. Climbing Kathadin in Maine is perpetually on the list it seems. And while I did not finish the Disney Princess Half Marathon, I completed five other races and I raised, together with Sarah, and many of you, over $5000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
But then my friend and colleague, Rabbi Evan Moffic, also wrote about New Year’s goals. He only achieved two of his from last year and wondered if that was a failure. http://www.rabbimoffic.com/fail-achieve-goals/#more-1228 He concludes no because the real goal is to move towards are goals. We are not off the hook. Quoting Pirke Avot, he says that “ours is not to finish the task, neither are we free to ignore it.”
Endings and beginnings. Beginnings and endings. This week’s parsha is about endings. It is the last of Genesis. It is the last of the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Jacob blesses his sons, leaving them in Egypt with an important legacy. He blesses them and tells the truth about them.
But this same parsha links us back to the beginning. The Talmud hints at this when describing this parsha, and I learned it from my teacher, Rabbi Michael Pitkowsky:
Until Abraham there was no such thing as [the sign of] old age. Whoever saw Abraham thought, “This is Isaac.” Whoever saw Isaac thought, “This is Abraham.” Abraham prayed for mercy so that he might have [signs of] old age, as it is said, “And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age” (Gen. 24:1). Until the time of Jacob there was no such thing as illness, so he prayed for mercy and illness came about, as it is written, “And someone told Joseph, behold, your father is sick: (Gen. 48:1). “Until the time of Elisha, no one who was sick ever got well. Elisha came along and prayed for mercy and got well, as it is written, “Now Elisha had fallen sick of the illness of which he died” (2 Kings 13:14) [Sanhedrin 107b; Bava Metzia 87a-trans. Jacob Neusner]
We learn from this that our children are our legacy, and a new beginning. We learn that for the first time there is a concept of old age. We learn that we can use words to pray for healing.
A new year is a beginning as well. In the book, Seven Questions You Are Asked in Heaven, we learn that one of those questions is did you leave a legacy.
What is your legacy? What do you want to tell your children and grandchildren? What’s important to you? How do you tell that story?
Sometimes it feels like a quest for balance.
Sometimes I look at a Jewish Star, a Magen David, and try to figure out the balance I need.
What do you put in the center? Maybe yourself? Maybe G-d.
What are the points?
Maybe Torah, Gemilut Chasadim, Avodah, since those are the three things the world is sustained by. They can be broader. Torah could be any study. Gemilut Chasdim could reflect social justice/tikkun loam or community. Avodah could be divine service or work.
Maybe Torah, Israel, G-d.
Or Work, Family, Health, Community, Friends?
What if for each of your points you write one goal for the year. Perhaps then we can find balance. Then when it comes time for you to bless your children and give them a legacy, you will be able to honestly bless them.
Recently I finished reading Anita Diamant’s new book, Boston Girl. It is essentially an oral history lesson between a granddaughter and her 85 year old grandmother. Sprinkled throughout the stories of Addie Baum’s life are pearls of wisdom she shares with her granddaughter. Like it is better to be kind than smart. What pearls are you leaving your children?
Collected together these pearls become an ethical will. Jacob’s blessings are also a kind of ethical will. Writing an ethical will, very different from a last will and testament that divides property, can be a good way to start the new year—and coupled with updating my advance directive/living will/health care proxy, something I want to tackle as one of my goals.
It is a new year. Next week we start a new book of Torah. What will the new year bring for you? What goals will you set for yourself? What will be sustainable?