I just sent this to my congregation to help explain three important things about community. It seemed like it might help other people too, wherever you are.

I just spoke to someone who works for the State of Illinois. He is not working today. It is Lincoln’s Birthday. I remember Lincoln’s Birthday so fondly as a kid in Evanston. We always built a Lincoln Log cabin as a centerpiece. It was fun. Somehow President’s Day isn’t quite the same thing.

Here at Congregation Kneseth Israel we are trying to do a better job of celebrating birthdays. Our president now sends out an email to each member that has a birthday that month inviting them to a special Shabbat service to honor all the birthdays of that month. Then we have a special birthday blessing and a very special, beautifully decorated, home made, yummy birthday cake.

Why is this important? Because it is part of community. Because we like to celebrate the joyous things. Because individuals want to be acknowledged and recognized.

We recognize individuals in other ways as well. We maintain a misheberach list. A list of people who need prayers, blessings for healing—of body or spirit. This list now gets updated weekly. We recently sent an email to everyone who added someone to the list to see if their person(s) should still be listed. Sometimes the names get announced from the bimah, but only if I have the permission of the person requesting the misheberach. Some names are added by the people who are sitting in the congregation that service. Most of the names get read silently while we are singing.

Is the misheberach list just for those in the hospital? No. Is it just for people who have a serious illness? No. The prayer asks for a complete or full healing for mind, body and spirit. It could be for someone who has a long-term disability, who is suffering from a chronic illness, who spirit needs boosting. You don’t have to say why you are adding the name to the list.

It is important to know with the relatively new HIPPA laws, the hospitals cannot call us to tell us you are in the hospital so unless you or a friend or relative call, we do not know. And we do not share that information unless you give us permission. So call us. We care.

If you, yourself are in need of healing, you may need other things. Meals, transportation to medical appointments, babysitting, shoveling. These are things your CKI community can help with. It is part of being community.

The third way we acknowledge people is with our yahrzeit list. This is the list of people whose anniversary of death we are commemorating. Our ritual chairperson, Paul Glaser, will send you a letter about a month in advance reminding you of the upcoming date.

Since we do not have a daily minyan, service, we read these names on Shabbat. There is no Jewish law that dictates whether we read those names on the Shabbat before or the Shabbat after. We have decided to read on the Shabbat before. What happens if the yahrzeit is actually a Friday? We read on the Friday before because by the time services start, it is really the next day in the Jewish tradition. We can be flexible with this. Just let me know when you want the name read.

We recently discovered that Paul’s letter and the list in HaKol did not agree on the dates. Both lists were computer generated. We think we have fixed the glitch but if you have any questions, please call me.

Some congregations have the tradition of people rising for mourner’s kaddish only if they are saying kaddish for a loved one. Some congregations, especially since the Holocaust, have the tradition of always rising for mourner’s kaddish. Here, where we embrace diversity, we have some who stand and some who sit. I will usually say, “If you are reciting Kaddish for a love one or always have the tradition of standing, please join with me.”

This is yet another way we acknowledge people and a way we building community. Another way we build community is by sponsoring a Kiddush or Oneg Shabbat. Some have a tradition of sponsoring for a simcha—a birthday, an anniversary, a retirement. Some for a yahrzeit. Sitting around eating and schmoozing is part of what we are all about.