This summer I spent time reading two books: Spiritual Community, the Power to Restore Hope, Commitment and Joy by Rabbi David Teutsch and The Spirituality of Welcoming How to Transform Your Congregation into a Sacred Community by Ron Wolfson.
Both books try to answer the question, what is community. I think we know it when we see it. I think we intuitively know why we want to join a community.
Teutsch says that “when communities are functioning well, they take care of their members.”
What people seem to really want is to be in communion with others. To know that they are loved and that others care. So that when there is a tragedy, or a loss, or an illness, friends show up and they know they are not alone. At any given time in our synagogue about 30% of the congregation are going through one of the top five stressors—a medical issue, a job loss, a death of a spouse, parent or child, a divorce, a move. People need the strength of community to navigate these waters and not feel isolated.
People also want community when they have joys to share—a birth of a child or grandchild, a promotion, a wedding, an anniversary or just the little moments day by day by day. I learned an important lesson one year. My soon-to-be-husband and I had just gotten engaged. We yearned to share our excitement. We went to tell our good friends, Alyn and Nancy. Nancy was busy digging in the yard, putting in fall mums. She didn’t miss a beat or get up from her post when she commanded, “Alyn, go get the champagne.” From that I learned you should always have a bottle in your refrigerator, for the big moments and the little ones. And that it is important to celebrate with community.
Teutsch ways, “Underlying the drive for community are several disparate yet complementary desires. Some people are looking for close friends; others hope to find a permanent companion to love and share life with. Some come to community to overcome loneliness; others come for a shared cultural, social or spiritual life; still others are seeking support. Some come knowing they have much to give.”
But the key—and he says it so well—is that “community transforms everyone, often in unexpected ways. Teachers become students; students turn into teachers. Those poised to give of themselves often find they derive more community membership than they give.”
Today was the Congregation Kneseth Israel Community picnic. It was billed as a Welcome Back Celebration just before school starts. A chance to meet the new education director. To see friends. To have fun. To get outdoors. To eat a hot dog (or two). To showcase the congregation. To come together as a community. To build community. And while two new members joined, it is because we are adopting a model similar to Teutsch–and it is working. We are building community—and so much more.