While the men were at a shiva minyan, the women had a spiritual experience of their own this week. We went to deli for dinner. Food builds community, we learned in the last post. If you feed them, they will come. So nice conversation over dinner of matzah ball soup or sweet and sour cabbage and a pastrami, corned beef or tongue sandwich.

But the real reason for the “field trip” was to go to the Community Mikveh in Wilmette. Housed at Beth Hillel Congregation B’nei Emunah, it was one of the first mikvaot in the country to be more inclusive in its welcoming. 18 years ago, the Conservative rabbis in Chicago wanted a mikveh they could have easier access to. One that would recognize women rabbis and converts warmly. One that wouldn’t question tattoos and body piercings but would still uphold halacha. One that would be available for women practicing the laws of family purity during their monthly cycles. What they discovered is that there are many reasons people want to immerse. Any time there is a transition moment, there can be a reason to immerse. High Holidays (which is part of why we went now at the beginning of Elul). Passover. Shabbat. Starting a new job. Graduating from high school or college. Retirement. A milestone birthday. Marking a yahrzeit or a period of mourning. Starting chemotherapy. Ending chemotherapy. Healing. Domestic abuse. Rape.

And men immerse too!

There is just something about the water. It is something that resonates with me—but I have always been attracted to water—the Big Lake (Lake Michigan), Walden Pond, Ogunquit. Bar Harbor. Sunrise on the Atlantic. Sunset over the Pacific. There is something about immersing and allowing the water to envelope me that I find comforting. Calming. Peaceful. Invigorating. Energizing.

But mikveh is highly personal. How does this build community? It takes a community to support a mikveh. When a new Jewish community forms, it is incumbent upon it to build a mikveh, a school and a cemetery even before a synagogue or purchasing a Torah! Once the mikveh is built, it takes the community to support it. The mikveh lady, like Carol, the women who are the primary users, the people who support it financially. But more than supporting it, what The Community Mikveh has discovered, and places like Mayyim Hayyim in Boston, is that the mikveh supports the community, sustains it and enables it to grow.

What I learned working at a mikveh, Mayyim Hayyim in particular, is to create a non-judgmental, safe space where people can explore their Judaism. I learned about intentionality. When you walk through the gate of Mayyim Hayyim and are greeted with Enter in Peace and stroll through the beautiful gardens to the light filled atrium, that is intentionality. When the Community Mikveh welcomes you with a tour with Carol’s calm, soothing voice, and all the toiletries you need complete with plush purple towels, that is intentionality. When a mikveh has hours that support conversions during the day and women’s needs at night, they become an important place to refer people to increase their spirituality, to celebrate, to heal. It builds community.

So eight women went on a field trip. We ate. We laughed. We learned. And we built our own community. Just a little bit stronger.