A seder is a journey. Step by step by step. Told in the Hagaddah, it has morphed through the centuries and resonates even today.
Today’s Torah portion from the Book of Exodus tells us that our children should ask why we are celebrating Passover. The text answers its own question,
| And it shall come to pass, when you come into the land which the LORD will give you, according to G-d’s, that you shall keep this service. And it shall come to pass, when your children say to you, “What do you mean by this service, that you shall say, ‘It is the sacrifice of the Lord’s Passover, when G-d passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, when G-d smote the Egyptians and delivered our houses.’” (Exodus 12:25-27 |
This is the origin of the Passover seder. You should tell your children on that day. What the Lord did for you when you went forth from Egypt.
It is about memory. Remembering we were slaves. Remembering that moment we became free. Each of us. Each and every one of us. The whole mixed multitude that went with us. Still later in the chapter, with one law for citizens and one for the resident aliens, the stranger amongst us, because again, we remember what it was like to be a stranger.
And we learn that our children are supposed to ask questions. “What is this?” Today we have Four Questions that our students dutifully learn, “Why is this night different from all other nights.” Everything we do at the seder is different from a regular dinner. It is designed to get our children to ask “Why.”
But the seder and the hagaddah are not carved in stone. In the Cairo Geniza, according to the book, Sacred Trash, there were hagaddot found that had two questions or three. There was one with five questions. So my question today, is what other questions would you ask?
I might ask, why did G-d have to harden Pharaoh’s heart. Wasn’t there another way? I might ask how the Sea of Reeds parted. I might ask where is the rest of Miriam’s song. I might ask when will Elijah come.
Each of us is to see ourselves as though we went forth from Egypt, out of the narrow spaces. How are each of us reborn? What narrow space are you escaping?
As part of Judaism Rocks, our interactive family program, we asked our children what other symbols today would they put on the seder plate. The answers may surprise us. One wanted to put a dog collar on for dogs that don’t have homes. Still another wanted a lego piece for children who don’t have parents. Still another wanted bitter kale for remembering those we have lost.
The single recurring theme this year, was adding a strawberry. Why a strawberry you might ask. Because they bleed. To remind us of gun violence, a modern plague. Six families added something to the seder plate about gun violence. It is what our children are thinking about. They want to be free from the terror of gun violence and school lock down drills. That is powerful stuff. As I have said before, quoting the Talmud, much I have learned from my teachers, even more from my colleagues and the most from my students.
Other things have been added to the seder plate. We have many additions on ours at home. An orange for inclusivity (there are two stories of the orange!). Olives for peace. Coffee beans and tomatoes for fair wages. This year we added strawberries for gun violence and white coconut to continue the conversation about racism.
In our service in which our service is more of a discussion, one congregant argued that by adding to the seder we dilute the story of the Exodus. His own granddaughter argued with him that she is afraid of gun violence in her public school and so it makes sense to her.
I would prefer to see it as enriching the seder, rather than diluting it.
But back to our hagaddah. One of the more energizing portions of the Maggid, the story is the story of the Four Sons (I would prefer the Four Children!). The earliest mention is in Mechilta, an early midrash on Exodus. It is also in the Talmud Yerushalmi. http://learn.conservativeyeshiva.org/introduction-to-rabbinic-midrash-10-lesson-10-the-four-sons-of-the-haggadah/
As a child I would always angle to be the Wise Child. Even then I railed against the Wicked Child, how dare we cast him out! How dare we assume he or she might not want to come back in? Or that a person couldn’t change?
As an adult I appreciate the midrash that each of the children is a part of us at different times in our lives. That helps. Some. I love the Family Participation Hagaddah: A Different Night, for collecting art work of the Four Children all in one place. And I enjoy the song set to the tune of Clementine (which I made everyone sing).
The Four Sons are based on the idea that four times in Torah we are told to tell our children.
- The Wise Child comes from Deuteronomy 6:20-23. “What are the testimonies, the statures and the ordinances which the Lord our G-d has commanded you?”
- The wicked child is found in Exodus 12:26-27, today’s portion: “What is this service to you?” To you and not to him or her. We’ll come back to that in a minute.
- The simple child in Exodus 13:14 says simply, “What is this?” You shall say to him, “With a mighty hand did the L-rd take us out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
- And the one who doesn’t know how to ask, you must take the first step according to Exodus, saying, “And you shall tell your child on that day, saying, “Because of this, the L-rd did [this] for me when I went out of Egypt.”
Chabad does a good job explaining it here:
The Chabad Rebbe Menachem Schneerson actually taught that there was a Fifth Child, the one not even present at the seder, who maybe completely unaware of his or her Jewish heritage. We then have an obligation so seek those out. It is part of why there are always guests at our seder table.
So Chabad adds to the seder!
Another explanation can be found here: http://www.tanach.org/special/4sons.htm comparing the midrash, the hagaddah and the Torah.
For modern Israeli poetry, art and song about the Four Children, try this: https://www.theicenter.org/resource/four-sons-haggadah
But none of those explanations answer my puzzle. Why is the answer the same for the Wicked Child and the One Who Doesn’t Know How to Ask? “This is what the Lord did for me…” So how are these different?
I studied this very text with one of my colleagues in New Jersey this week and decided that really it was a question of tone. The Wicked Child emphasizes, almost sneers or mocks his question. So the tone for the Wicked Child emphasizes what G-d would do for me when I left Egypt. For me and not for him or her. Had he or she been there they would not have been redeemed.
Someone in the congregation argued persuasively that it is because there is only one story of the Exodus. It was a good argument. But then I am left with the issue of the Avot prayer. In explaining the repetition of the G-d of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob (and let’s not forget the matriarchs!), since there are no extra words, it is because each had a different experience of the Divine. So each person experiencing the Exodus would have had a different experience.
I have a collection of Hagaddot. Some I bought for the beautiful artwork. Some I bought for the language. Every year I buy a new one. Last year it was Harry Potter. The year before it was one about baseball. This year it was Rabbi Kerry Olitzky’s called the Welcome Seder. There are those about Israel and those about the Holocaust. There are ones aimed for young children and others for women. Rabbi Arthur Waskow compiled the Freedom Seder the year after Martin Luther King was assassinated. We experienced some of that last year in the Black-Jewish seder we hosted here. Tonight, in Israel there will be another Freedom Seder to highlight the plight of asylum seekers facing deportation by the Israeli government. Almost every Jewish organization I know publishes a seder supplement. HIAS about refugees, T’ruah about a women’s place to stand up. The Religious Action Center about gun violence. Bend the Arc about poverty. Mazon about hunger. These enrich our seders.
Each of us, going forth from Egypt, from the narrow spaces, has a different experience. That is what keeps the Hagaddah fresh and new and important from generation to generation. That is why we sing, “B’chol dor vador…in every generation.” That is why Passover is the most celebrated of all the Jewish holidays in America, because it is still very relevant to us today. May your seders sparkle with questions and answers, joyous song, children of all types. And Freedom.