This is a tale of two sermons. Last night, because the EPD Squad car was here in the interest of time, I didn’t get to finish and I had a really important message.
Last night we observed Domestic Violence Awareness Month and our own Maureen. We support her and the very important work that the Community Crisis Center does in the Elgin area. Hereoes work there. They are truly on the frontlines and are integral in keeping the fabric of our community. We thank the Elgin Police Department for bringing the DV Squad car and partnering with us. And we hope you enjoyed the purple goodie bags, the color of DV awareness, in honor of this.
Yeterday, as part of the Crisis Center’s observance of DV Awareness they hosted their annual Partner in Peace breakfast. I was honored to do the innocation, where once again I taught everyone my favorite line of liturgy, “Ufros Aleinu Sukkat Shlomecha, Spread over us the shelter, the fragile sukkah of Your peace.” Peace is fragile and Judaism places shalom bayit, peace of the house as a high value.
Sadly, domestic violence and intimate partner violence exists in every community, social economic group, 1 in 4 women will experience violence in their lifetime. This includes the Jewish community. Every October, I spend some time talking about this topic. This year is no exception. We are in the beginning of Genesis still and domestic violence and sexual assault is clearly spoken about in our texts. Today’s parsha talks about an angel of the Lord sending Hagar back to Sarah to submit to Sarah’s harsh treatment. Lot was willing to give up his daughters to a raging mob. Later Dinah will be raped. These are not OK. Full stop. It is why we have and need agencies like the Community Crisis Center. It is why I was trained as a domestic violence and rape counselor and volunteered for years in Boston on a rape hotline. It is why my door is always open to have this conversation. No one has the right to hit you. Period. Full stop.
And sadly, and this is very important. While we are all aware of big coverups like the priest scandal or the Boy Scouts, Penn State, Michigan State and now Simon’s beloved University of Michigan, the Jewish community is not without its own coverups. Recently USJC and specifically USY had to confront a decades old story about a rabbi at camp just as the statue of limitations was running out. https://www.jta.org/quick-reads/conservative-movement-to-launch-investigation-of-sexual-abuse-allegations-at-youth-program
Even more recently I received the Reform Movement’s letter which I will read here and send to the whole congregation. https://urj.org/blog/important-update-our-community This one has a real deadline. IF you were abused by staff in the Reform Movement, you have until Nov. 15th to write to the independent investigators. I urge you to do so and I will walk that path with you.
Abram, not yet Abraham went on a journey in this week. To a land that G-d would show him. He left his land, the place of his birth and his father’s house.
Lech lecha—Go forth, Go to yourself. What does it mean to go forth? How do we find ourselves? To be authentic? We know the story of Reb Zuzia, when he was dying, his students were surprised that he was crying. Why? He was worried that when he got to the gates of heaven he wouldn’t be asked by was he not Moes, but why he was not Zusia.
Our congregation has a vision statement that includes the plank, meaningful observance. What does it mean to find meaning? Meaning can be as varied as the stars in the sky, just like the stars in the promise to Abram. Last night we had a very meaningful service, filled with lovely music and lots of singing. For some, including me, that provides a spiritual lift and lots of meaning. For others, not as much. For some, keeping kosher provides meaning. For others, they see it as an outmoded form of Judaism.
This week we read about Abram after his name is changed to Abraham circumcising himself and the males in his family. I kicked off a firestorm of discussion in two rabbinic groups around circumcision. Seems that not all American Jews are circumcising their newborn boys. There is even now a group called Bruchim, Welcome, promoting this idea. https://www.jta.org/2021/10/07/culture/these-jews-want-to-normalize-not-circumcising-and-they-want-synagogues-to-help?fbclid=IwAR189nrVzTERQEa6LVVz3ilFwEyh3QWc3ZbQlKqqjhgO37tcs4LQNxh8q4A
The reasons for this is varied. A The responses to my questions about it were also varied and fascinating. It is something we could and probably should discuss at some point as part of our ongoing study of “A Time for Everything” this year.
We are at a shift in the American Jewish people. This is not new. COVID-19 has uncovered some of the inherent underlying issues in the American Jewish Community. However, we have actually seen some of the trends for decades. All the way back in my lifecycle classes in rabbinical school I would say that I never saw a lifecycle event that comes out of a box. They are not just cookie cutter events—and they shouldn’t be in my opinion. They should incorporate elements that are meaningful to the people marking time, welcoming a new child, male or female into the covenant, starting the beginning of school, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah—some are now calling this B-Mitzvah, Confirmaiton, graduation, marriage, retirement, or a funeral. All of those can be individualized.
Each individual must find their own meaning, their own way on their journey, just like Abram and Sarai. Just like our own Avot prayer that highlights that each of our patriarchs, Abraham, and Isaac and Jacob and each of the matriarchs, Sarah, and Rebecca, and Leah, and Rachel each had their own understanding of G-d. It is my job to accompany people on those journeys—whether it is a baby naming, a wedding or a funeral. When I sit with someone at the hospital. When I call to see how you are doing. When I provide a book suggestion just for you.
Later this month I will participate in the read out of the Metropolitan Chicago Jewish Population Study. When I first arrived 10 years ago, JUF told me that there were 6000 unaffiliated Jews in the Fox River Valley. There may still be. How we define Jew. How we define affiliated are important survey construction constraints. And we may learn, yet again, that synagogue membership may not be meaningful to many. We at CKI are lucky. We have held our own despite the trends and despite the pandemic.
Recently there have been some articles that have appeared as we are coming out, hopefully, G-d willing from this pandemic.
Rabbis and priests and ministers are actively planning exit strategies. NOT ME!
Overwhelmed: Not a problem to be solved:
Perhaps instead this is an opportunity, to build the world, or at least our corner of it, the way that is most meaningful, most authentic.
“The Future is Starting Now” is a new show from Rabbi David, your Torah Tech Guy. “Starting Now” is an opportunity to hear from and interact with those Jewish leaders who are imagining and creating the future of the Jewish community, its structures, institutions, values, and systems – now. Cherie Koller-Fox, Rabbi Elyse Wechterman, Ron Wolfson Ron Wolfson Rabbi Dan Judson
But meaning is not just about religious observance. It is more than that. It is about finding your authentic self and living into it. Recently, just a week ago, I went on a journey. Running is part of my authentic self. It helps keep me grounded. It gives me an opportunity to meditate and davven. It is a place where in the early morning light I can meet G-d and my inner mot feelings. It is part of who I am. I find meaning in running. Perhaps instead of the Energizer Rabbi I should be the Running Rabbi.
Let’s go on this journey together and find meaning together. I’m not sure where we are going but together we will get there. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot.
PS: While written for churches, it works for synagogues too:
Stop Leading the Church You Lost & Start Leading the Church You Have.
Clarence E Stowers:
The culture has changed.
Habits have changed.
Your church has changed.
Stadiums are Full, but Sanctuaries are Half Empty
The stadium was packed as I watched the Chicago Bears’ exciting win against the Raiders on Sunday.
Where are the people?
Many became comfortable with online worship. They don’t have to get their family dressed, fed, and out the door on Sunday morning anymore. They can sip their coffee in their jammies while their children play or sleep in.
While online faithfulness has certainly lessened over time, some of your people are still there. They are giving. They are on your side. They’re just staying home.
God has uniquely positioned you and your church to serve a changing culture if you are willing to let go of what you used to do.
Remember this: Stop Leading the Church You Lost & Start Leading the Church You Have.
Did you catch that?
Get it?
Got it?
Good!
*Inspired by Allen White