As we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving, perhaps your celebration will include seeing family you haven’t seen in a long time.  There is lots written in magazines (remember those) and social media sites of what to say and what not to say at that all important dinner table. These are not new topics. Today’s Torah portion has a lot to teach us about family relationships, in  a series of vignettes.  

Jacob is going home! After 20 years, working 7 years for each “girl” and some extra time to please Laban and amass some wealth. He is going home! But he is scared, anxious, and he sends gifts ahead to pave the way for his return. 

Jacob wrestles with something—an ish, a man the text tells us, or maybe some divine being—and his name is changed from Jacob, meaning heel to Yisrael, one who struggles with G-d and prevails. This encounter happens alone.  

When it becomes morning, So Jacob named the place Peniel,. As Sefari’s translation explains, “eUnderstood as “face of God.” meaning, “I have seen a divine being face to face, yet my life has been preserved.”” 

Then they continue on their way. Those gifts, those substantial gifts? When Jacob finally meets Esau, Easu asks why Jacob sent them.  

Jacob’s answer is telling: Jacob said, “No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably. 

As many of you know, I survived rabbinical school by listening to Broadway show tunes driving back and forth from Boston to New York. Our friend Anita Silvert who has done Bibliodrama here at CKI has recently started a podcast called Verses that looks at biblical verses together with Broadway. Her first two are about Newsies and West Side Story. It is well worth listening to.  

In one of my favorite musicals, one Anita hasn’t gotten to yet, Les Mis, at the very end of the musical, Eponie and Fantine sing “To love another person is to see the face of G-d. Les Misérables ” Epilogue . Finale 

The beginning of the book of Genesis teaches us that we are all created b’tzelim elohim, in the image of G-d, a reflection of G-d, with a divine spark inside. We need to learn, to really understand in our kishke’s that to see another person, to love another person is to see the face of G-d. We are each, each a reflection of the divine image. 

Recently I was asked as co-president of the Coalition of Elgin Religious Leaders whether we were going to host a vigil or make a statement about rising violence in Elgin. After listening to my own brother who asked an important question. After you say, “We deplore the recent gun violence, shootings and killing,” what is your next line? How does that help? The Coalition of Elgin Religious Leaders will be hosting, probably with Gail Borden Public Library, and the EPD a workshop on the underpinnings of violence. It is a work in progress still so I don’t have the details. 

What are the underpinnings of violence. How is it possible that someone can value the life of another human being that they can look someone in the eyes and shoot first or stab them? That is an age old question. Sometimes it is about fear. Sometimes it is about someone having something the other person wants. And sometimes, I think we will just never know. Professor Dave Grossman thinks maybe he understands. He wrote a book called, “On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society.” It is too easy to just blame easy access to guns, or the prevalent and popular video games or mental health issues. The root causes are deeper than this.  

How does this relate to the parsha? Jacob and Esau seem to find that divine spark and are able to reconcile. They don’t actually resort to murder or killing. They can see the face of G-d in the other. 

Then we have a chapter that is nearly inexplicable. What happened to Dinah isn’t entirely clear from the text. We will leave that discussion for another year. What is clear is that Jacob, and G-d are silent. I struggle with that silence. Jacob’s sons then take matters into their own hands. Trying to defend Dinah’s honor, they demand that every male is circumcised. And then while the men of Shechem are hurting, they kill them all. Their response and explanation to Jacob as to why they did it, “But they answered, “Should our sister be treated like a whore?” 

To love another person is to see the face of G-d. Somehow, Jacob’s sons were not able to see the face of G-d in their neighbors. We are taught that we need to actively pursue justice. To run after it. But not like Jacob’s sons.  

Our tradition teaches us that “Tzedek, tzedek tirdof, Justice, Justice shall you pursue.” Learning to see the other, to love your neighbor as yourself is part of justice. The repetition of the word justice here is important.  

Rabbi Amy Eilberg teaches, “Notably, two commandments are explicitly articulated not as responses to a particular situation, but as imperatives to be followed – indeed, pursued – at all times. We are not only to act in accordance with these imperatives passively when the occasion arises. We are to actively seek out opportunities to engage in them. The two cases are the pursuit of justice, of which it is said, “Justice, justice shall you pursue” (Deut. 16:20) and the pursuit of peace, of which it is said, “Seek peace and pursue it” (Ps. 34:15). “ 

At G-d’s command, Jacob returns to Beth El, the place where he had first encountered divine beings or messengers going up and down the ladder, where Jacob is blessed again. Jacob erects an alter to G-d and names that place Beth El and they continue on. Rachel dies in childbirth on the road, in what is now Bethlehem and they name this last child Ben Oni or Benyamin.  

The tradition is that Rachel continues to weep for her children. And that a pilgrimage to the Tomb of Rachel will help with infertility. To this day, there is a Tomb of Rachel, located in Bethlehem, on the West Bank. Sadly, it is a point of friction between Jews and Muslims, Israelis and Palestinians. They haven’t yet figured out how to see the face of G-d in all who want to worship there. 

Then something remarkable happens in our text this morning. While Jacob and Esau go their separate ways, after they have repaired their relationship, Isaac dies.  

“Isaac was a hundred and eighty years old  when he breathed his last and died. “Isaac.” was gathered to his kin in ripe old age; and he was buried by his sons Esau and Jacob.” 

Esau and Jacob, apparently were already buried together. And then, what I think is most remarkable, we get a full lineage, a full genealogy of Esau’s line. Remember, we don’t always know the names of our Biblical ancestors. Who is Mrs. Noah for instance? Or Lot’s wife?  

Knowing a name of someone is a sign of intimacy. Knowing all these names of the descendants of Esau is important. It is one way that we recognize that they are created b’tzelem elohim. That they are really human with the divine spark inside. To see another person is to see the face of G-d. 

It has been hard to see people’s faces during the pandemic. Heather and I tell people, kids especially to smile with your eyes. Sometimes it is hard to recognize someone with their mask on. But this is what the text wants us to do. To see another person, to love another person is to see the face of G-d, that divine spark that is in each of us.  

Somehow, we still find it a challenge to love another person and see the face of G-d, whether right here in Chicagoland or in Israel. Maybe then we can reduce the violence plaguing our world.  

When you return home this week—or if you are hosting—remember the teaching of Esau—to see another person is to see the face of G-d. And the teaching of Les Mis—to love another person is to see the face of G-d. Then it will be truly a grateful Thanksgiving.