Cleanliness is next to G-dliness. An old Puritian New England saying leading to much spring cleaning. Today is Shabbat Hagadol, The Big Sabbath, the Great Sabbath, It is one of two times the rabbi would give a sermon, the other time being the Shabbat between Rosh Hsshanah and YOm Kippur. Both were about preparation. And maybe they are linked. So today I am supposed to tell you all the ways that you are supposed to clean your homes and prepare for the celebration of Passover.. Mos tof you inow what you are doing and what level of preparation is meaningful to you. If you have specific questions, as the sign says at the Jewel in Buffalo Grove, call you local rabbi. That’s me! I am happy to answer specific questions—even things like how to clean a keurig. It involves lots of vinegar. This all fits nicely with this week’s portion which tells how the ancient Israelites purified their homes from eruptions, tza’arat mostly likely mold. What is clean or dirty, pure or impure, titually ready or not yet ready. Tahor and tameh.
I don’t want to talk about that…and if you have a mold problem call a mold remediation specialist, not your local rabbi.
Instead, there is one verse of the haftarah for Shabbat Hagadol that jumps out. The hearts of the parents will be turned to the children and the hearts of the children to the parents. How does this reconciliation happen? Perhaps this is the real work, the real preparation of Passover.
Instead, I want to talk about what all this preparation is for. The whole seder experience is designed a a pedagogical tool to get our children to wake up and ask, “Why is this night different.” Each of us: Simon, Risa, Barry, Robin, Myrna, Gene, Ellen, Deborah, each of us is to see ourselves as if we went forth from Egypt, out of the narrow places. Whether you see that as metaphorical or actual matters not. We were slaves in the land of Egypt and the Lord, our G-d, took us out with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. OR it may be much more recent. The Lord, our G-d took us out of Europe where we were refugees. The Lord, our G-d enabled us to change a job that had been a narrow place, get out of a difficult marriage, survive a global pandemic or a health scare. Each of these and other examples are of being rescued from a narrow place. These are our stories. Our narratives. Our family history. And they are important. These are the stories we gather to tell on Passover—the ancient and the modern.
The cleaning, the searching for chametz, has a spiritual overtone. Looking for all sources of leavening is about finding the pieces of ourselves that are puffed up.
So we have prepared. Our homes are gleaming. We are finally after weeks of preparation ready to sit down and hear the story of the Exodus from Egypt. And right on cue, the youngest kid asks, “Why is this night different.” And then there is an interlude before we give the kids a good answer. Allow me to sing some of it.
The Ballad of the Four Sons
Said the father to his children,
“At the seer you will dine,
You will eat your fill of matzah,
You will drink four cups of wine.”
Now this father had no daughters,
But his sons they numbered four.
One was wise and one was wicked,
One was simple and a bore.
And the fourth was sweet and winsome,
he was young and he was small.
While his brothers asked the questions
he could scarcely speak at all.
(to the tune of “Clementine”)
wriiten by Ben Aronin in 1948
The Four Sons. The Four Children. What are they doing here. They are so troubling. How many of you competed to be the Wise child? I most certainly did as the goody two shoes. How many of you tried not to be the wicked child?
As a curious life long learner, I wanted to understand more about this section, the Four Children. It must be a more recent addition. But no, it turns out to be an ancient piece of text, based on the Talmud, Peschaim 10:4 and from the Mekhilta, one of the oldest form of midrash. Why? Why is it here?
Let’s look at one modern translation:
- The wise child asks details about the specific meaning of the laws of Passover observance: “What are the testimonies, the statutes, and laws which Adonai our God has commanded you?” to which we respond with one of the very specific laws of the Passover seder.
- The wicked child asks, “Whatever does this mean to you?” The authors admonish this child as one who is not concerned about the laws personally, but only for others. This exchange reminds us of the importance of not separating ourselves from our community or from traditions that might seem uncomfortable or foreign to us, but rather to engage with them in ways that enable us to connect with our community.
- The simple child asks, “What does this mean?” to which a straightforward summary of the story is given, directly from the Torah: “It was with a mighty hand that God brought us out from Egypt, the house of bondage.” (Ex 13:14).
- In response to the child who does not know how to ask, we are instructed to “open it up” and explain, “It is because of what God did for me when I went free from Egypt” (Ex 13:8). https://reformjudaism.org/lessons-four-children-seder
First note, that what we tell the wicked child, whatever that means, is the same as that we tell the one who doesn’t know how to ask. It seems, therefore it is a question of tone.
I’m not alone in being disturbed by this section. In one of my favorite Hagaddot, A Different Night a Family Participation Haggadah, there are 20 different artistic versions dating back all the way to 1536. Even Psychology Today has a whole article about the Four Children. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201204/passover-four-sons-five-characters#:~:text=The%20Haggadah%20tells%20of%20four,doesn’t%20know%20to%20ask
And even though Pirke Avot tells us that Hillel said, “Do not seprate yourself from the community.” (Pirke Avot 2:4), the “wicked child” is still here. He has a seat at the table. We still welcome her. And she shows up!
Perhaps as some suggest, we are each all of these. Some years I am wise, others wicked, others simple or two young to ask.
“Rabbi Levi Yizthak of Berdichev said: The Haggadah speaks of four children. One wise, one wicked, one simple and the one who dors not know how to ask. Lord of the world, I, Levi Yitzhak, am the one who does not know how to ask. In such a case, does not the Haggadah say that with the child who does not know how to ask, You must start with him.: Tha fathermust take the initiative. Lord of the world, are You not my Father? Am I not Your son? I do not know what questions to ask. You take the initiative and disclose the answers to me. Show me, in connection with whatever happens to me, what is required of me. What are You asking of me? God, I do not ask You why I suffer. I wish to k now ony that I suffer for You sake.” (A Pssover Haggadah, 1974, CCAR, page 33)
Levi Yizhak. Berdichev, Ukraine. 1740-1809.
When we say, “Let all who are hungry come and eat, we mean everyone. The wise, the wicked, the simple and the one who does not know how to ask. Each of us. All of us. With all of our learning styles. With all of our questions. With all of our doubts.
The question, our ultimate preparation is not about the dust bunnies under the refrigeration. Rather it is about how we tell the story of our liberations to our children and grandchildren. What is the story we want to tell, that we need to tell. And may the hearts of the parents and the hearts of the children be turned to one another.