“And the Lord appeared to Abraham at the entrance of his tent in the heat of the day.” (Gen 18:1)
It is the first verse of what we are reading today.
We learn much from today’s Torah portion, right at the very beginning. This portion is jam packed. It includes the promise made to Sarah that she would have a child (even though she is so old), Abraham’s arguing with G-d about sparing Sodom and Gomorrah and the concept of a minyan, the birth of Isaac, expelling Hagar and Ishmael and the binding of Isaac.
From this very first verse, we derive two important mitzvot. The first is about visiting the sick, bikkur holim in Hebrew. Yes, this is a mitzvah that is incumbent on all of us—not just the professional clergy—and our example is G-d who visited Abraham in order to help him heal.
The second is the mitzvah of hospitality, hachnasat orchim. When we hear the portion, in just a little bit, listen to how Abraham rushed, raced to welcome these three men, or angels, or messengers, or strangers, even though he didn’t recognize them, even tho he was still recovering from his circumcision. The midrash teaches that Abraham and Sarah’s tent was open on all four sides precisely so they could welcome people whoever came across the dusty desert. That’s audacious hospitality.
Today, however, we are going to examine praying for people who are in need of healing of mind, body or spirit. It can be part of visiting the sick. Every time I go visit someone in the hospital I ask them what they want me to pray for, if anything. For some that is surprising because we Jews are really good at praying from the book but less good at off-the-cuff prayers. We want to make sure we do it right! Maybe, however, we need to learn that there is no right or wrong way to pray, that this becomes part of the discussion between keva, the structure of the service and kavanah, the intention behind the words.
Every week at CKI as part of the Torah service we say a Mi Sheberach, or even more than one.. There is a power in adding some prayers to the Torah service. The Torah itself acts as a witness. If we look in our siddur, Siddur Sim Shalom, we find Mi Sheberach prayers for someone called up to the Torah, male or female, or even together in a group aliyah, for a woman recovering for childbirth, for parents or a newborn girl so that the child can be named at the synagogue, for a wedding couple as an aufruf, for a bar or bat mitzvah, and of course a prayer for healing.
We also took on saying a Mi Sheberach on Fridays at the request of some members who didn’t used to come on Shabbat morning.
What is this prayer?
Like Jews we argue about lots of things. Including how to do a Mi Sheberach. And there are lots of questions. So let me attempt to answer some of them:
- Who is entitled to one? Anyone who is in need of healing of mind, body or spirit. You get to decide. Sometimes it is people with serious medical conditions. Sometimes it is people with chronic medical conditions. Sometimes it is people who are in the hospital or in rehab. Sometimes it is people who are struggling with a mental illness or a long-standing disability. Sometimes, it is for people who have a cold. Can it be for all COVID sufferrs, my answer would be “You bet.” For the flu? RSV? Sure.
- Does the person have to be Jewish? No, we can pray for people who are not Jewish. And we can pray for someone who is Jewish who doesn’t have a Hebrew name.
- Does the person have to be in the hospital? No. If you feel you would like a mi shebeirach said for you or a loved one, then say one.
- Can it be for a group of people? Yes, we have often prayed for the people facing a natural disaster, for the Jewish community of France after an anti-semetic attack—or for the Tree of Life synagogue, for frontline workers, for the people of the Ukraine.
But there were two remaining questions I struggle with. Can you pray for a pet? For many of us our pets become part of our family and many like to pray for them. It is clear that a pet can feel pain. It is also clear that we have some prayers at the beginning of our service that suggest that all creatures praise G-d. I have often wondered about that. Are the lyrics referring to all people—not just Jews making Judaism part of universalism instead of particularistic. Yes, I believe so. Or is it about all creatures—humans, animals, even plants, perhaps the earth itself as some have suggested. That too! When I asked this question in my alumni association, the response was varied. Some felt it was OK when we ask for names out loud to mention a pet. Others felt it would be inappropriate or even offensive to have a pet on a printed list for Mi Sheberach. We recently did a pet blessing which many congregations now do for Shabbat Noach. So if you want to say a blessing for a pet, OK, just mention the name and we will continue. Don’t turn it into a multiple paragraph description.
The other question that has come up—and for me this was the tough one. What about praying for things like “the world at large.” or “our democracy.” It seems to me that the world at large is in need of healing or repair. That is the basis for the concept of tikkun olam, the repair of the world. Many of our extra prayers on page 148 of our siddur address those very questions as does the Aleinu prayer that prays for a time when the world will be healed. Our democracy is covered with the prayer for our country. We Jews have been praying for our leaders and advisors since Jeremiah’s day and we still have it covered in the formulation we have as the prayer for our country.
What this additional study came down to for me is the idea that a Mi Sheberach prayer is for a person or persons or even a pet but not necessarily a philosophy or the whole world. Those, however, can continue to be prayed for in other contexts or while we are singing Mi Sheberach.
The Mi Shebeirach prayer is a prayer that brings me hope. I like the idea in the Friedman version that we pray to give us courage to make our lives a blessing. I pray that this prayer will give you hope as well. When I visit someone in the hospital, I ask them what they want to pray for. Often, I get answers like strength, courage, to not be in pain. Recently I got mercy as an answer. I pray for a skilled and compassionate care team. You need both. Skill and compassion.
Here are the traditional words in English so we can look at them:
May the one who blessed our ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, bless [name] son/daughter of [parents], since he/she has come up to the Torah in honor of God and Torah. May he/she merit from the Holy One of Blessing protection, rescue from any trouble or distress, and from any illness, minor or serious; may God send blessing and success in his/her every endeavor, together with all Israel, and let us say, Amen.
Note that we pray through the zecut, the merits of our ancestors, both the patriarch and the matriarch’s. Some people believe that when praying for healing with someone’s Hebrew name, it is the mother’s Hebrew name that is necessary.
It is important to teach that there is no magic in these words, and just because we say a Mi Sheberach or even years of them, it does not necessarily mean that someone will be cured. There is a difference between curing and healing.
When does someone come off the list? When you–or they feel it is time. That is often at CKI a moment of celebration. Sometimes, however, they come off because there is no longer any hope of curing. The person hangs in the balance. Those moments are hard. And that is when we especially stand with you as a community. Again, there is a difference between curing and healing–and there maybe other parts of their life in need of healing, not just their physical bodies. I tend in that situation to leave someone on until they have actually died. It can be a source of comfort for them and for you.
How do we think prayers like that work? There is science now behind why prayer and mediation help with a range of healing?
“More things are wrought by prayer
Than this world dreams of.” (Alfred, Lord Tennyson; from Morte d’Arthur)
“Different types of meditation have been shown to result in psychological and biological changes that are actually or potentially associated with improved health. Meditation has been found to produce a clinically significant reduction in resting as well as ambulatory blood pressure,[2,3] to reduce heart rate,[4] to result in cardiorespiratory synchronization,[5] to alter levels of melatonin and serotonin,[6] to suppress corticostriatal glutamatergic neurotransmission,[7] to boost the immune response,[8] to decrease the levels of reactive oxygen species as measured by ultraweak photon emission,[9] to reduce stress and promote positive mood states,[10] to reduce anxiety and pain and enhance self-esteem[11] and to have a favorable influence on overall and spiritual quality of life in late-stage disease.[12] Interestingly, spiritual meditation has been found to be superior to secular meditation and relaxation in terms of decrease in anxiety and improvement in positive mood, spiritual health, spiritual experiences and tolerance to pain.[”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2802370/
So the science is becoming clearer. Prayer and meditation help in healing.
Besides growing scientific evidence that prayer works, really really works to provide or aid in physical healing, there seems to be something else. It helps a person know that people care about them, that they are part of a community. It is part of why we do a misheberach here both on Friday night and Saturday morning. You, telling us who you are concerned about, helps support all of you—and the people you are praying for, while building our own community. Do not underestimate the power of prayer.
Here are Debbie Friedman’s words:
Mi Shebeirach
Mi shebeirach avoteinu
M’kor hab’racha l’imoteinu
May the source of strength,
Who blessed the ones before us,
Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing,
and let us say, Amen.
Mi shebeirach imoteinu
M’kor habrachah l’avoteinu
Bless those in need of healing with r’fuah sh’leimah,
The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit,
And let us say, Amen
Debbie Friedman, z”l
Debbie Friedman – Mi Shebeirach (2001)
Debbie Friedman would always teach that she would sing it through one time for all of us and then we could join in. It was a nice tradition and it was based on another prayer, that Moses said for his sister Miriam. El Na Refana La. Please G-d, heal her. A simple prayer of healing. Just 4 words when Miriam was struck with a skin disease. And she was healed. Debbie Friedman’s version of Misheberach, which we usually do at CKI is not the only setting.
Here is Craig Taubman doing a combination of Misheberach and El Na Refana La.
Here is another version of El Na Refa Na La done at Hadassah Hospital. It won the Hadassah Song Festival.
Hadassah Healing Prayer “El Na Refa Na La” by Yair Levi and Shai Sol – רפא נא-עם ארגון נשות הדסה
There are other prayers for healing in Judaism.
Asher Yatzar, The Bathroom Prayer
At the beginning of our Saturday morning service there is a prayer for healing that is often described as the bathroom prayer. Yes, it is the prayer that people say after coming out of the bathroom when everything comes out right. But it also talks about G-d being the healer of all flesh. G-d is the ultimate doctor. I love the fact that 2000 years ago the rabbis understood that the body is a finely balanced network. I have seen that with patients today. A specialist, a cardiologist or a pulmonologist or a nephrologist could keep any one organ going almost indefinitely but keeping all of them going at the same time can become impossible.
Baruch Atah Adonai, Ehloheinu Melech Ha’olam, asher yatzar et Ha’adam b’chochmah u’vara vo n’kavim, n’kavim, chalulim, chalulim. Galui v’yadu’ah lifnei chiseh ch’vodecha she’im yipate’ach echad m’hem o y’satem echad m’hem, ee-efshar l’hitkayem v’la’amod l’fanecha. Barcuh Ata Adonai, rofeh chol basar u’mafli la’asot.
“Blessed is our Eternal God, Creator of the universe, who has made our bodies with wisdom, combining veins, arteries, and vital organs into a finely balanced network. Wonderous Fashioner and Sustainer of life, Source of our health and strength, we give You thanks and praise.” (Gates of Prayer translation, page 284)
Amidah:
In the Amidah, the second paragraph called the G’vurot that talks about G-d’s strength, has one line in it. “You sustain life through love, giving life to all (reviving the dead) through great compassion, supporting the fallen, healing the sick, (v’refuah holim) freeing the captive, keeping faith with those who sleep in the dust.”
I often pause perosnally on that phrase just slightly to think about those I am praying for.
On Shabbat, even G-d rests so we don’t ask for anything. During the weekday Amidah, there is one of the 18 blessings that is a request for healing. Here is the Lev Shalom translation:
“Heal us Adonai that we may be healed. Save us Adonai that we may be saved. You are the one deserving of praise. Bring complete healing to all of our suffering. For you are G-d and Sovereign, a faithful and compassionate healer. Baruch Atah Adonai, Healer of the ill among your people Israel.”
Adon Olam:
Often I sing the last paragraph of Adon Olam in the hospital with something. I use a Debbie Friedman version that is like a lullaby…
B’yado afkid ruchi
b’et ishan v’airah. V’im ruchi g’viati
Adonai li v’lo irah.
I have stood with nurses in the ICU and watched in amazement as someone’s blood pressure has stabilized.
It is important to know with the relatively new HIPPA laws, the hospitals cannot call us to tell us you are in the hospital so unless you or a friend or relative call, we do not know. And we do not share that information unless you give us permission. So call us. We care.
If you, yourself are in need of healing, you may need other things. Meals, transportation to medical appointments, babysitting, shoveling. These are things your CKI community can help with. It is part of being community.
How does all of this tie to the parsha, the portion? G-d visited Abraham after the circumcision, and G-d prayed. In the meantime, I pray with you and for you for a refuat hanefesh, refuat haguf, a full, complete healing of mind, body and spirit.
A Special Mi Sheberach for Veteran’s Day:
While this blessing doesn’t start with the traditional formula “Mi Sheberach, May the One who blessed,” it fits neatly into that category. Since we mark Veterans’ Day this weekend, I felt we should include it in the service as an example of a group Mi Sheberach.
Compassionate God, Source of Mercy, we pay tribute to those who have served our country, and express our gratitude for their courage and selflessness, both those among us today and those of generations past. This nation, built by those born of this soil and those who have come here from all the corners of the earth, is on a continual journey toward its destiny.
May we never let down those who have served in defense of this country.
May we uphold the values of freedom, of the inherent dignity of every human being, by our own right conduct, by the kindness and tolerance we show to one another.
May we lead the world by example, and become, in the words of Isaiah, “a light to the nations.”
Then will the labors and sacrifices of these veterans be honored not in words alone, but by our deeds.
From the URJ Website
While I can tell you the difference between Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day, this poem by Archibald MacLeish is a powerful reminder of what many of our veterans think about their service and the fact that so, so many of them lost friends in battle. Deriving meaning from their lives is often an important step in healing the wounds of war. Remembering their fallen comrades seems an important way to honor the survivors’ service. So I offer you one of my favorite poems just before Mourner’s Kaddish:
The Young Dead Soldiers Do Not Speak
| Nevertheless they are heard in the still houses: who has not heard them? They have a silence that speaks for them at night and when the clock counts.
They say, We were young. We have died. Remember us. They say, We have done what we could but until it is finished it is not done. They say, We have given our lives but until it is finished no one can know what our lives gave. They say, Our deaths are not ours: they are yours: they will mean what you make them. They say, Whether our lives and our deaths were for peace and a new hope or for nothing we cannot say: it is you who must say this. They say, We leave you our deaths: give them their meaning: give them an end to the war and a true peace: give them a victory that ends the war and a peace afterwards: give them their meaning. We were young, they say. We have died. Remember us. Archibald MacLeiah
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