Be Happy It’s Adar:
If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…then your face will surely show it.”
When the calendar turns to Adar, the month of Purim, the greeting, the commandment, Is to “Be Happy; It’s Adar.” And while the survival of the Jewish people is a good thing, it is hard to command an emotion—or live up to it. Since my middle name is Joy and family members call me that, this is a topic I have wrestled with extensively.
Is there a difference between joy and happiness? And if so, what? What if you can’t muster those feelings of joy and happiness? Does that make you a bad Jew? A bad person?
In Hebrew there are multiple words for joy. Simcha. Hedva. Gila. Rina. Sasson, Ditzah, Oneg, Many of them turn up in the seven marriage blessings, the Sheva Brachot.
If you think about it, we have different words for happiness in English as well. Happy. Joy. Gaity. Contentment. Pleasure. Delight. So what is the difference, and does it matter? It is nuanced. In preparing, I asked on Facebook how others see these terms. Lori Lippitz, who is with the Klezmer Foundation and who I have reconnected with since being back in Chicagoland, (her sister used to babysit me!) said this: “Purim is a happy holiday. There’s something less momentous about happiness than joy. Joy is profound and elevates one from everyday life. The chatan and kallah feel joy. The L’chayim we give on Purim, conversely, is light-hearted and happy. It’s very much of this world. Adar asks the question, “What if we always triumphed over Haman? What if happiness were our normal condition?” Adar gives us a chance to imagine what that would be like.”
Our Friday night liturgy gives us lots of opportunity to talk about joy. The word, simcha, is sprinkled throughout the service, especially in the Psalms we use on Friday.
Psalm 95: “Let us rejoice in our Creator.”
Psalm 96: “Let the heavens rejoice…Let field and forest sing with joy.”
Psalm 97: “Light is sown for the righteous and joy for the upright in heart.”
Psalm 98: “Let all on earth shout for joy.”
Lecha Dodi, “Greeted in joy, in song and accord.”
Psalm 92: “I sing with joy of Your creation.”
Another friend, from Spain said, “To be happy and joyous means having freedom to be me. It is genuine goodness and comes from a place of honesty and integrity. You can’t fake joy. You can fake happiness. Both are felt in your heart and communicated through your eyes. Both talk to the absence of negativity for the moment they are felt. They are transient and temporary. We can construct happiness and through happiness comes joy. The most important thing in both of these emotions is that the more you give them away, the more you have yourself.”
This reminds me of another song from camp. “Love is something if you give it away…you’ll end up having more.” It is true for happiness too. As is the concept of another song, “Happiness runs in a circular motion. Thought is a little boat upon the sea. Every body is a part of everything anyway. You can be happy if you let yourself be.” Except I learned that as Love is a little boat upon the sea. So there seems to be a connection between happiness and love.
Closer perhaps to my thinking, I found this quote: “Joy is an inner feeling. Happiness is an outward expression. Joy endures hardship and trials and connects with meaning and purpose. A person pursues happiness but chooses joy.” Compassion.com
Our Declaration of Independence suggests that we are guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Happiness, is then something we run after, we actively chase, but we are never quite there. Can you choose joy? I have a coaster that I set my morning coffee on, hoping to set that as my intention for the day.
David Brooks, a columnist for the New York Times in addressing a graduating class of Arizona State University said:
“Happiness usually involves a victory for the self. Joy tends to involve the transcendence of self. Happiness comes from accomplishments. Joy comes when your heart is in another. Joy comes after years of changing diapers, driving to practice, worrying at night, dancing in the kitchen, playing in the yard and just sitting quietly together watching TV. Joy is the present that life gives you as you give away your gifts.”
Or maybe it is the reverse as Elaine Steinberg suggested: “Joy is unbridled and external, such as the birth of a baby. Happiness is a sustained and nourished state of mind (
She agrees with Rabbi Jo David, “The difference I think has to do with what is sustainable. Happiness is sustainable. Even small things can bring happiness into our lives many times a day – walking die. The block on a mild winter day, for example. Joy is the result of experiencing something that is out of the ordinary. As an example, completing a very difficult task that may have seemed impossible at some point.”
I am not sure ultimately that it matters. What matters is how we attain joy or happiness. Many people mentioned being with friends and family. Others mentioned pets. Books. Wine. Coffee (It wasn’t me, really!) For some it is being in community—like CKI or even watching Michigan football. (That wasn’t Simon either!). Sports. Accomplishing a task. Pursuing beauty. Cooking good food.
However you find happiness, or create it for others, may this celebration of Purim allow you to Be Happy.