Today I was given an award by ICASA, the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault. I was nominated by Maureen Manning, the Executive Director of the Community Crisis Center. Here are my remarks accepting the award.

This is a humbling moment. As I stand here before you, I applaud the work that you all do. It is hard work. Sadly, still necessary work. I don’t need to tell you that, You live it day in and day out. One in four women experience violence sometime in their lifetime. I am one of those women. I am one in four. I was once nearly fired for uttering that phrase. I don’t think that will be the case today.  

Gretchen Vapner, the founding director of the Community Crisis Center, who many of you may know, once asked me if I thought that healing could ever be complete. I can’t answer that question. I can tell you that with organizations like this, good friends, a supportive family snd a great therapist, you can have a meaningful life.  A full life. Even a happy life.  

When I was first attacked, Rabbi Harold Kushner, of blessed memory now who I had the privilege of studying with, had just published his best-seller, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. It was tremendously helpful. I wasn’t bad. Although there were those who tried to tell me it was my fault. It was not. But it took me years to learn that.  

Kushner doesn’t answer the question why bad things happen. They will at some point to all of us. He attempts to answer the question, when. When bad things happen what will you do with your life? In the Book of Esther, there is plenty of rape culture on display. It can be a very challenging story for survivors. Yet the action changes when Mordechai, Queen Esther’s uncle, says to her, ““Do not imagine that you will escape with your life by being in the king’s palace. Rather, if you keep silent in this crisis, relief and deliverance will come from elsewhere…perhaps you were born for just such a moment.”  

No one sets out to have the life experiences that I endured that night. No sets out to be awarded the Moxie Award. And yet, I am incredibly lucky. The Talmud teaches, “Ours is not to finish the task, neither are we free to ignore it.” I believe that fully. Today I had breakfast with my state rep. I lobbied, not a hard sell in this case, for more mental health services, better gun control, better access to women’s health and more safety and security. Those are all connected to the work we are doing. Thank you for the opportunity to do just that. To continue this important wok., 

There are many to thank along the way. First to Maureen Manning and the Community Crisis Center of Elgin for nominating me. To Sean Black and his team for putting on this conference and luncheon and handling countless questions. And to my husband, Simon Klein, here today and my daughters, Sarah, Anna and Gabrielle. It is not always easy to live with a survivor. Maybe the little bit of work I have done will mean that their daughters will not need to live with this constant threat. 

Drive time thoughts: 

Springfield is FAR. I have no idea how my state rep and state senator or the new Illinois State Superintendent cope with this drive.  

It is weird to fill both humbled and proud at the same time. The other recipients of the award are amazingly accomplished and have done so much. Each of them are impressive. I am still thinking about many of the things that the judge from Christian County was talking about in terms of a holistic approach to the judicial system in his “problem solving court.” Many of the substance abusers have a history of sexual assault. Treat the whole person and some of the “criminal” behavior disappear. Each person recognized taught me something. 

Thinking about things that I have done that didn’t make my own bio that are important. My rabbinic thesis that looked at generational issues like domestic violence. How do we interrupt the cycle of violence? Creating safety is part of the answer and has been something I have worked consistently on. 

Being a rabbi gives me a pubic platform, like this blog. One of my proudest moments was lobbying congress with American Jewish World Service. Working to renew (pass?) IVAWA definitely would help with creating that safety. Sadly, I am not sure where we are with that legislative goal. Of late, there have been other priorities, at least within my circle of lobbying friends. Nonetheless, it was walking by the Capitol,, that I first made the connection between me and Queen Esther.  

I think about all those hours at Mayyim Hayyim–and how in the early stages after a particularly bad stretch (Israel at 60), they literally saved my life. How some dear, dear friends at AJR explored some of these very difficult topics with patience and compassion. How that trip back to Israel with Larry and Paul continued the healing.

I have been telling my story for a while. With BIMA at Brandeis and Mayyim Hayyim for their film seminar. In my book, Enduring Spirit, first and second edition (available on Amazon), with One Billion Rising, the Long Red Line. In small groups and in private moments. I have taught people how to tell their story without it retriggering themselves. This is my story and I still find telling it difficult. And it was a hard week for that. The recent civil trial that ended in a $5 million award for E. Jean Carroll over former President Trump, is a huge victory for women. Six men and three women served on the jury. Believe survivors. E. Jean Carroll courageous pursuit of this is a great role model for many of us. At the same time, there was a sad story in the Israel press.  

A young woman was raped when she was 14. 11 youth took part. Four days. Only four came to trial. Those four went on to be successful. I don’t know what happened to “my guys” but I sometimes wonder. This woman, after a life of poverty filled with difficulties and mental problems whe was recently found dead at 49. As I said, I am, as my therapist might say, the luckiest unlucky person. But tonight I am just very, very tired.