This is two part entry, That makes it a little long. But I think hopeful.
Part One:
Friday night we hosted, together with Hadassah, Shabbat on the Road. It is a program I’ve adopted from Rabbi Ed Friedman, now in Aurora, IL. Our version goes like this. Once a month in the summer, June, July, August, we are not in our building for Friday night. We are in someone’s home or in a park. There may be instrumental music or not. There could be some yummy food, some kind of dairy potluck or food that people bring just for themselves or their family. Or not. Sometimes at the last minute we have had to cancel because of weather. Usually, we get to enjoy davenning, praying outside the way the rabbis designed the service.
This week we were scheduled to be a park in Elgin. In a picnic shelter that has electricity. Better for that instrumental music. Near real bathrooms and a playground. The weather was perfect. Cooler in the morning, so people kept reminding me to bundle up. But the sun had come out. It was about 72 degrees out. Not too cold. Not too hot. Just right.
Earlier in the day, the verdict came out in the Tree of Life mass shooting. Guilty on all counts. This is a good thing. But is it a security risk for a Jewish congregation out on the road? Should we be visible? What if we are singing in Hebrew? Is it too late to get a detail? Can we afford it? Can we afford not to?
I texted my contact at the police department who handles details. She had already seen the news and even though it was her day off, she arranged for a steady stream of police squad cars to drive by the park shelter. Every single officer waved. One came and sat with us for a while. I have never felt quite so protected. It was definitely a spiritual moment.
Rebbe Nachman of Bratzlav who I quote often says that we need be outside alone and pour out of souls to G-d. That is definitely part of my reason for running and walking. There were two other intensely spiritual moments. At Lecha Dodi, it is traditional to rise, face the door, and greet the Shabbat bride and queen. If you are outdoors, in a picnic shelter in the round, where do you face? I watched people try to figure that out. I was reminded of the verse, “The earth is the Lord and the fullness thereof.” All the world is G-d’s home.
As I was quietly doing my personal Amidah, the central standing set of prayers, I could hear the birds sing and the children at play. Perhaps because I am in the middle of wedding season, I was reminded of the last of the sheva brachot, the seven marriage blessings that praises G-d for joy (seven words for joy!), for loving couples and youth at play.
It was a lovely, lovely evening that could only have been better with ice cream!
Part Two:
The teaching of Rebbe Nachman of Bratlav:
Kol ha’olam kulo, geher tzar me’od. All the world is a narrow bridge.
V’ha’ikar, lo lefachad klal.–The important thing is to not be afraid.
Franklin D. Roosevelt is famous for saying, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”
Fear can be an important emotion. The fight or flight response, necessary to keep us safe, is driven by fear. This portion has a lot to teach us about fear and hope.
When Moses sent in scouts, one member of each tribe, to spy out the land and to give an assessment, they came back with a mostly positive report. The land is a good land, flowing with milk and honey, with abundant food, grapes and pomegranates and figs. But, 10 out of 12 of the scouts were afraid. They didn’t think they could overcome the people. Only Caleb dissented. The others thought that the people were like giants, nefalim, and they appeared as grasshoppers. Now it is true the meaning of nefalim is shrouded in mystery. Perhaps giants, perhaps fallen angels, perhaps the offspring of Seth. We really don’t know. But the affect is clear. 10 out of 12 scouts did not think they could overcome them or that the Israelites would be welcome. The whole people then questioned what they were doing there at all. Perhaps it would be better to go back to Egypt.
I want you to think for a moment about when you have been afraid. When did you feel small? Maybe as small as a grasshopper.
Recently I learned about a museum in New York. The Museum of Failure. In it are products that never succeeded in the market. One of them is Nww Coke. Then, as you may remember, Coca Cola went back to what it called Coke Classic. The museum spotlights 159 products. Once I went to a conference on Intellectual Property. Many universities actually have IP offices. I heard the director of the MIT office tell the workshop that they expect students and professors to fail. It is a necessary component to getting a new product from the R&D stage to being a successful product. But what if they had been afraid to try at all? No lightbulbs. No phones. (or cell phones!) No cars. No maple syrup. Who was the brave person who first tried that? Fear could have prevented many of our “advancements.”
After a rather intense argument between Moses and G-d, Moses arguing on behalf of this stiffnecked, sttubborn, kvetching people and G-d forgives them. The people march on. That defense of the people and plea becomes the basis of much of our High Holy Day liturgy. Moses reminds G-d of G-’d essential nature—to be merciful, full of lovingkindnesss and truth,, slow to anger, and forgiving. G-d then tells Moses that G-d has forgiven them according to his word.
But what was the sin? What had the people done wrong? Why was G-d so angry? Perhaps it was the fear that would prevent the Israelites from moving forward. Perhaps it was not trusting G-d. Perhaps it was the kventching, the constant complaining that the Israelites seem to do. Perhaps it was all of it.
We often joke about how the Israelite kvetch. How we kvetch. And we do. In our families. In our communities. Even right here at CKI. Maybe that kvetching comes out of fear.
Imagine what our households would look like if we just stopped kvetching. Or our communities. This community. Maybe this shoukd be a kvetch free zone. There are plenty of memes that will tell you to stop complaining. Just google etsy or pinterest. But what is really going on? In order to stop complaining, it is helpful to understand the underlying causes. It maybe the fear.
If we look at complaining as the misfired expression of a wish, there are three sources where it can come from: a desire for control, a need for validation or sympathy, a fear of managing a problem directly,
What are the wishes we have? What are preventing them?
It is our job then to motivate people. I found these suggestions helpful:
“Ask the person what things would look like if the situation became better for them. Encourage them to describe their ideal outcome and think of three things they could do to make that happen—if they are willing, of course. Have them create an action plan and let you know how this plan works for them.”
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-it-means-when-someone-cant-stop-complaining
There are a number of things that we all might be afraid of these days. Instead of kvetching, I try to do something about it, whatever it is. Rising anti-semitism. I show up, and try to be loud and proud. I know that is what Myrna did. After the Tree of Life massacre, she found CKI and has stayed. And we are grateful she has! I think of that today, since the verdict came out guilty on all counts yesterday. Increasing gun violence? Advocate for more mental health services and some kind of gun law reform. Trash around a neighborhood park? Pick it up. (And then wash your hands!) Climate issues and these increasingly violent storms? Learn what really causes climate change and what we can do about it. Healthcare issues? Keep advocating for healthcare for all.
Does it work? Not always. Here’s my kvetch. Some of the issues I have worked on for decades seem to be worse or worsening.
Chuck pointed out something during Torah study that I had missed. Probably because we read the triennial cycle. Later in the full portion we are instructed about tzitzit. We have short memories. We go back to kvetching quickly. So G-d gives us a tool. A memory device:
“Speak to the Israelite people and instruct them to make for themselves fringes on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe at each corner. That shall be your fringe; look at it and recall all the commandments of יהוה and observe them, so that you do not follow your heart and eyes in your lustful urge. Thus you shall be reminded to observe all My commandments and to be holy to your God. I יהוה am your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt to be your God: I, your God יהוה.” (Numbers 15:38-41)
Why this thread? Why now in the storyline? It is to remind us of what Adonai did for us when we went forth from Egypt. Leading us out. Parting the sea. Giving us Torah. Giving us manna and water in the wilderness. So easily we forget. So easily we are afraid and then we kvetch. It would be better to go back to Egypt, right?
There are two schemas that I know of for tying tzitzit. One is so that the knots equal 613, the number of commandments in Torah. The other so that the twists and turns equal the numerical value of Yod (10) Hay (5) Vuv (6) Hay (5). Either way, even today, when you look on the tzitzit, the original Jewish macrame, you remember G-d and the commandments. It is like tying a thread on your finger to remember to buy milk on your way home.
One way to combat fear is with hope, Even if that hope is just a thin thread.
A thread plays an important role in the haftarah as well. A crimson cord is used as a signal of safety. Rahab, the non-Israelite whore, is responsible for rescuing the Israelite spies, entering into an oath with them and tying that crimson cord on the window. She, as an ally, an unlikely one at that, gives me hope and lessens my fear.
That string, tivkat choot, may have the same root as hope, I first learned of this connection from Wendy McFadden in my adult Hebrew class. She is the director of publications at the General Offices of the Church of the Brethren and a scholar in her own right. I always learn from her. This gives me hope too.
Many of us are undergoing medical procedures. I have always liked the last verse of Adon Olam. It was Dan’s calming mechanism if he had to have an MRI. I have sung it at any number of patient bedsides and watched as blood pressures fell. Last night we sang the Craig Taubman version which was Dan’s favorite:
B’yado afkid ruchi
B’eit ishan ve’a’i’rah
Ve’im ruchi geviati
Adonai li v’lo irah
Ve’im ruchi geviati
Adonai li v’lo irah
[Verse 2]
My soul I give to you
My spirit in your care
Draw me near
I shall not fear
Hold me in your hands
Into Your hands I place my spirit. When I sleep and when I wake, I will have no fear. G-d with me and I will not fear.
Rabbi Jennifer Singer taught this week: “As I remind myself, I am remembering to remind you too – to be brave in the face of the unknown, to be brave when fear holds you back, to be brave because you know that what is right must be spoken, must be supported. Be brave.” I’ll add. Remember, you are never alone. G-d neither slumbers nor sleeps. G-d walks with you. This gives me courage and reduces my fear.