There is so much important moments in this portion. Abraham, Hagar and Ishmael. Abraham and Isaac. Fighting over wells. But today I want to focus on just one phrase. 

“Abraham then prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech and his wife and his slave girls, so that they bore children.” (Genesis 20:17) 

This is the first use of the word “to pray” in the Torah. In Hebrew the verb is l’hitpalel.” It is a reflexive verb, meaning that it is something you do to yourself. (My Frisch teacher would be pleased, but don’t worry, this will not be a grammar lesson!) 

But what does it mean to pray? To whom is Abraham praying? And for what? In earlier parshaas, we have our patriarchs offer offerings, some kind of burnt meat to G-d. Apparently G-d is hungry and needs a pleasing odor. This idea of praying, however, seems to be a new concept. How does Abraham even know what it means? Or how to do it. 

A dictionary definition of pray is “to address a solemn request or expression of thanks to a deity or other object of worship. “the whole family is praying for Michael”” 

In Judaism there are 3 traditional forms or prayer:  

• prayers of thanksgiving, and we have done some of those this morning.  
• Prayers of praise: like psalms that include hallelujah.  
• Prayers of request, those that ask for things. 

Some say praying is like having a conversation between yourself and that deity. We have an example of just such a conversation in earlier part of this parsha. The great debate between Abraham and G-d about saving the cities of Sodom and Gemorah. If there are 50 righteous people will You spare the cities? Abraham bargains G-d down to just 10. That is the reason usually cited for needing a minyan. Ten righteous people. Ten adult Jewish males. Ten adult Jews. Those provide a sense of community, connection and support. It’s what we need for a full service. But that doesn’t mean we can’t pray as individuals on our own.  

We don’t ask for things from G-d on Shabbat. G-d is resting too. Except we do. We prayed the Mi Sheberach prayer, for healing of mind, body and spirit. And many of our prayers pray for peace. It is throughout our liturgy. Oseh Shalom, Sim Shalom, Shalom Rav all hope for peace. Pray for peace. Even on Shabbat.  

Recently, however, I was at a clergy meeting. Another rabbi, citing Ecclesiastes said that he would not pray for peace. He could only pray for a successful war. The other clergy in the room were pretty stunned. We quickly moved the agenda to talk about other things, like the Interfaith Thanksgiving Service. Just like Abraham and Abimelech, we Jews can sit down (or stand up) and pray with other people. I would argue that this is not the time to cancel interfaith services. It is a time to be more visible not less. It is, in fact, a time to pray for peace. 

But back to my brief grammar lesson. L’hitpalel is a reflexive verb. It something that we do to ourselves. Maybe in community and maybe alone. What does it DO? What change does it affect? I think it is about balance. About being calm. About being grounded. About being peaceful. It changes us in fundamental ways.  

When we first meet Avram, he is told to Lech L’cha, to go forth. from his native land . Some argue about the formulation. There seems to be an extra lamed, Perhaps it really means to go towards yourself, to find yourself. 

That is part of why meditation can be so important. It is a chance to go to yourself.  

I like the Buddhist metta meditation, sometimes called the lovingkindness meditation: 

For ourselves:
May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease. 

For our families, neighbors, friends:
May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease. 

For our enemies:
May they be happy. May they be well. May they be safe. May they be peaceful and at ease. 

I first learned this in Guatemala when I was there with American Jewish World Service. We were standing in a rose garden that unbelievably was started in 1983, the year of the “scorched earth.” It is estimated that between 1982-1983, 70,000 of Guatemala’s indigenous population were killed or disappeared. Inhabitant were raped, tortured and murdered. Over 300 villages were completely razed. Crops and drinking water polluted. What did it mean to be standing in this beautiful rose garden, praying for peace for my enemies?  

This is a difficult time for Jews. Very difficult. In Israel. Even right here in the States with rising anti-semitism. There is a place for prayer in all of this. But I will not be praying for war, successful or otherwise. I will continue to pray for peace. To pursue peace. To run after peace, just as Abraham did. Right here at home.