There is so much that happens in this week’s portion. It starts with Jacob and Esau “reconciling” after 20 years. That’s a full generation. They now have “made it” in their individual worlds, but in both cases they not only have animals and wives and children and servants; they have a great deal of fear. Fear is a powerful emotion. The brain science tells us that fear is designed to keep us safe. Neither Jacob nor Esau feel safe.  

Jacob tries to manage his fear by separating himself from his family. He is alone, on the other side of the river. I can imagine him meditating, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself, trying to sleep. It is probably quiet. But if you have ever camped in the desert, it is not completely silent. The desert sounds seem magnified at night. Often causing more fear. Every noise startles. 

He then has an encounter with a being…a man, an angel, himself, G-d, the text is not clear. Is it a dream, Jacob is a dreamer after all. He wrestles with this being and his name is changed to Israel, which he is told means he has striven, wrestled with beings divine and human and prevailed. Jacob, now Israel, is a G-dwrestler. We are all, descendants of Jacob Israel, G-dwrestlers.  

In the morning, he has a different encounter. This time with his brother Esau who arrives with 400 armed men. Is Esau trying to impress? Keep himself safe? If it is just that it is hard to explain that Esau runs to greet him, falls on his neck, embraces and kisses Jacob. Is this real? Did the 20 years heal the tension between these siblings. The last time we saw an angry Esau, he threatened to kill his brother for stealing his birthright and his blessing. And Jacob, at the urging of his mother Rebecca, ran away, in fear. 

Jacob is afraid. He divides his camp, saying that if Esau attacks, perhaps half will be saved. And he also trying to impress. He offers his brother lots of gifts. 200 she-goats and 20 he-goats; 200 ewes and 20 rams; 30 milch camels with their colts; 40 cows and 10 bulls; 20 she-asses and 10 he-asses. That’s a lot of gifts. Does it assuage his guilt at stealing the birthright? Does it limit his fear? 

 At the end of this encounter, they go their separate ways. (Perhaps this is the original two state solution) 

And then there is an interlude. We almost have to ask why is it here? What is the text trying to teach us? 

 Jacob seems to now be settled with his 12 sons, the 12 tribes of Israel. And his daughter Dinah. This is not the stuff of Torah School bible stories. It needs a trigger warning, because this is tough stuff. When I tried to talk about it with someone this week, they told me flat out they didn’t want to hear about it. So if you need to leave the room, or turn off your Zoom screen for a while, that’s OK, but I do need to say this. In the Psalm that we say towards the beginning of the service, Psalm 30 it says, “A psalm of David. A song for the dedication of the Temple, hanukat habayit l’david” and later it says,
“What profit is there if I am silenced?
What benefit if I go to my ggrave?
Will the dust praise You? 

Will it proclaim Your faithfulness?” (Page 81 of Siddur Sim Shalom), 

This Psalm is one of the guiding principles of my life.   

This story of Dinah is the stuff of much midrash. That is because the text itself is sparse. It leaves too much to the imagination. Dinah went out. That’s it. What does that mean? Why did she go out? Something happened. What exactly happened? Our translation on Sefaria says, “Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, chief of the country, saw her, and took her and lay with her and disgraced her.” But there is an asterisk on disgraced her. Heb. wa-y‘anneha, lit. “and violated her.” NJPS “by force,” but whether Dinah consented is not stated, and is not at issue; regardless, by the norms of the ancient Near East, she was disgraced. OJPS “and humbled her.” There is a big difference between disgraced her, took by force, violated her or humbled her.  

That is the basis for a long modern midrash. The much beloved by women today, Anita Diamant’s famous Red Tent. Diamant concludes that Dinah is not raped. That it was consensual. That she loved Shechem.  

The ancient rabbinic tradition slams Dinah. She went out. She shouldn’t have. It makes her out to be what we might call a “loose woman.” It seems to be a blame the victim response. If only she had stayed home. When Jacob learns what has happened to his daughter, he remains silent. He waits for his sons to come home from the fields. That silence is deafening.  

 But that silence continues today. As someone who has worked extensively as a rape and domestic violence counselor on the front lines of this topic for decades, I thought we were making progress with the birth of the #MeToo movement. If a woman tells you she has been raped, believe her. It is that simple.  

Sadly, recently, there was an article in Newsweek that gave me pause. After the brutal attack by Hamas on October 7, many women were raped, in the fields, perhaps just like Dinah, but the international community not only remained silent on this part of the story but actually denied it. https://www.newsweek.com/silence-international-bodies-over-hamas-mass-rapes-betrayal-all-women-opinion-1845783?fbclid=IwAR1H5x61fu-72iNnSpY7XzF5r46tHxbQ_PKHj7aF6K1dY1dGQAx34FomfDQ 

 It is our responsibility to reject this silence. Sadly, rape is now recognized as a tool of war. Even the UN recognizes it as such. Here is one such article. https://www.un.org/en/preventgenocide/rwanda/assets/pdf/Backgrounder%20Sexual%20Violence%202014.pdf  

And again, there are glimmers of light. Only glimmers thus far. Assita Kanko, a member of the European Parliament has said, “You can never call yourself a feminist again,” if you deny these credible reports of rape of Israeli women.  

In Riverdale, NY on December 5th there is a meeting to discuss these horrendous crimes. Sponsored by a number of the leading Jewish organizations, it will feature Dr. Cochav Eliyam-Levy, the chair of the Civil Commission on October 7th Crimes by Hamas Against Women and Children. Hosted at a Conservative Synagogue this doesn’t quite feel like enough. We need women from other traditions to understand what happened and to speak out.

Finally, after much pressure, the UN itself is hosting an special session on Monday, Dec. 4th to address this very issue.  

We need to bear witness to this horror. We need to continue to break our silence. So that no woman stands alone in these difficult, impossible, horrific moments. We need to continue to build and rebuild our coalitions. It is painful. But I cannot be silent.  

At the very end of  our full portion today, Rachel dies on the road in childbirth. At that very spot there is a church/mosque, which has seen too much violence through the years.  

There is a reference to this spot in Jeremiah: 

Thus said GOD:
A cry is heard in Ramah —
Wailing, bitter weeping—
Rachel weeping for her children.
She refuses to be comforted
For her children, who are gone.
Thus said GOD:
Restrain your voice from weeping,
Your eyes from shedding tears;
For there is a reward for your labor
—declares GOD:
They shall return from the enemy’s land.
And there is hope for your future
—declares GOD:
Your children shall return to their country. 

I can hear this prophecy of Jeremiah as modern day news ripped from the headlines. Rachel is still weeping for her children. All her children. And we can be silent no more. It is what I will rededicate myself to at this season of increasing light.