“And when your children ask you, ‘What do you mean by this rite?’
you shall say, ‘It is the Passover sacrifice to YHVH, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt when smiting the Egyptians, but saved our houses.’ (Exodus 12:26-27)
The earliest “seder” was simple. It was lamb, unleavened bread (matzah)and bitter herbs. That’s it. No two entrees. No matzah ball soup and giilte fish. No competition on who can make the tastiest kosher for Passover dessert. It was designed to get children to ask this very question. “What do you mean…”
In other parts of the Exodus there are other answers. We know this language. It is part of the Hagadah, the telling of the story of the Exodus from Egypt, the story of our people’s very beginning.
Ms nishtanah…why is this night different? It is because of what G-d did for ME when I went forth from Egypt.” But really was I there? The midrash would say yes. We all participated in the Exodus, even those not yet born. We all walked through the Sea of Rees. We all stood at Sinai,
But how do we tell the story?
Once upon a time…no that’s not quite right. This story is not yet over…we are still completing it and all o the story does not end happlily ever after.
The Hagaddah itself gives us clues:
“In every generation one is obligated to see oneself as one who personally went out from Egypt. Just as it says, ‘You shall tell your child on that very day: “It is because of this that God did for me when I went out from Egypt.” ’ (Exodus 13:8) Not only were our ancestors redeemed by the Holy One, but even we were redeemed with them. Just as it says: ‘God took us out from there in order to bring us and to give us the land God swore to our ancestors.’ ” (Deuteronomy 6:23)
Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz , in article for the Jewish Journal said: “Such spiritual work is never simple. The esteemed 20th-century Musar teacher Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe explains: “We see ourselves in the other, as if every person we encounter is simply a mirror in which we see ourselves! … [W]e have not yet freed ourselves from the self-centered perspective to see that the other is not identified with us…. [I]t is incumbent upon us to focus on the way the other differs from us and see that which the other needs, not that which we need.” (Alei Shur 2:6) Rav Wolbe teaches powerfully here that to understand the other, we must transcend the self. While it is difficult to understand another’s trauma and impossible to grasp the extent of another’s suffering, we can create the spaces to listen, to cultivate empathy and respond to others’ needs. We must go beyond the notion that we tend only to our own needs — that is not ethical Judaism. Rather, it is essential that we tend to the needs of the other in our midst.”
Each of us is to see ourselves as though we came out of the narrow places because that’s what Mitzrayim, Egypt means. Each of us have had narrow places we have been in. Telling those stories, both the ancient Exodus from Egypt and our own stories is what this parsha is about.
How do we do that? Some people compile their own hagaddah. Some people write their own cookbook and tell family history through the recipes. Some people write an ethical will, which we talked about a few weeks ago. Some people sit around the Passover table during the meal itself and tell these very stories.
And some people write a memoir. Memoirs are an important style of writing. There are fill in the blank books to help you with this. Bruce Feiler provides a template in the extras of his book, Life is in the Transitions. The same format he used with his own dad. One of my favorite quotes is “Everybody has a story, and not always the story the listener or teller expects to hear. The sharing is what brings out the surprise.”
There are other online guides. Gareth used to teach a class at Gail Borden. Others may at various other places.
Here are some suggested seven steps from one online source:
- Narrow your focus
- Include more than just your story
- Tell the truth
- Put your readers in your shoes
- Employ elements of fiction
- Create an emotional journey
- Showcase your personal growth
https://thewritelife.com/how-to-write-a-memoir/
What is the story we want to tell our children? And what is the story our kids want to hear. One in the congregation this Shabbat said, “What are the tips that you can give us to get through our B’nei Mitzvah.” Another said, “What mistakes did you make? What did you learn from them and how do we avoid them.” Thos mistakes may be talking about how we got out of our own narrow spaces, our own Mitzrayim. Is it any wonder as we sit her on a cold Shabbat morning when the spring holiday of Passover seems so very far away that Passover is the most celebrated of American Jewish holidays? It is all about the story telling!