Happy Valentine’s Day. St. Valentine’s Day. This is not necessarily a Jewish holiday. But perhaps as Ecclesiastes says “There is nothing new under the sun.” 

Its roots are very ancient and there are overlays to what we do as Jews. It goes back further than the Catholic Church who recognizes three saints named Valentine. One was a priest in the third century CE who when Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with families, he outlawed marriage. We, too have rules of how to make war in the book of Deuteronomy. Valentine continued to perform marriages in secret. 

“Then the officials shall address the troops, as follows: “Is there anyone who has built a new house but has not dedicated it? Let him go back to his home, lest he die in battle and another dedicate it. Is there anyone who has planted a vineyard but has never harvested it? Let him go back to his home, lest he die in battle and another harvest it. Is there anyone who has paid the bride-price for a wife, but who has not yet taken her [into his household]? Let him go back to his home, lest he die in n battle and another take her to wife.” 

Yes, I am grateful to St. Valentine who defied the church. Yes, I am grateful for those who stood up for marriage equality in more recent times and agreed with Lin-Manuel Miranda, Love is Love is Love. Or the mug I drank my coffee out of this morning, “Choose Love.” So, celebrate Valentine’s Day I do.  

 In medieval France and England, this time was the beginning of the birds’ mating season. Did you hear the birds this morning? Did you feed the birds this morning? It reminds me of Shabbat Beshallach, often near Tu B’shevat, which we celebrated recently.  

Last night I gave my monthly D’var Torah, a word of Torah, to our board meeting. It is a way of setting the tone for the meeting and the month to come. Here is what I said” 

This week is “Love a mensch week.” Thanks to our board president for spotting it. It turns out it is sponsored by J-Date and a woman who wrote a book about how to marry a mensch. just ahead of Valentine’s Day. Not a very Jewish holiday, nonetheless it is fun to celebrate and to quote an old song, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.”  

Earlier this week I asked our Torah school kids what a mensch is and what a hero is. They weren’t quite clear. They had a hard time naming any heroes. The Hulk. Superman. Spiderman. Wonder Woman. Finally, they got to veterinarians, first responders, teachers, even parents.  

We are focusing on heroes and menschen ahead of Purim which celebrates the heroism of Esther and Mordechai. We are using a book, Heroes with Chutzpah, about 101 True Tales of Jewish trailblazers, changemakers and rebels. (More on that later.) We started with Gal Gadot, who played Wonder Woman and is currently serving in the IDF in the reserves. That alone would make her a hero! 

A mensch is a good person. Someone who goes over and above the expected to make the world a better place. How does that tie into Judaism and Valentine’s Day. I think it does. There are two words for love in Hebrew. Ahavah and Chesed.  

Chesed is the harder word to translate. It means something like lovingkindness. One member recently told me while the world needs love it needs even more kindness. He’s not wrong. Menschen are those who are incredibly, graciously kind. In our tradition we say that the world stands on three things, On Torah, on Service and on acts of lovingkindness, gemilut chasadim.  

We even define those acts of lovingkindness in a quote from the Talmud. These are the obligations without measure whose reward to is without measure. To honor father and mother, to perform acts of love and kindness, to attend the house of study daily, to welcome the stranger, to visit the sick, to rejice with the bride and groom, to console the bereaved, to pray with sincerity, to make peace where there is strife. And the study of Torah is equal to them all because it leads to them all.  (Page 52 of Gates of Prayer)

We at CKI have had the opportunity to do many of these things, including a recent wedding and way too many moments of consoling the bereaved. Each of those are moments when we live out being kind.  

I think they also lead to Ahavah, the other word for love.  

The first use of Ahavah in the Torah is when Rebecca spots Isaac, falls off her camel and Isaac takes her to his mother, Sarah’s tent and he loves her. And he is comforted on his mother’s death. It is a la dor vador moment, from generation to generation, And it reads like the first Hollywood script.  

There are three times we are commanded to love something in the Torah:
V’ahavta et Adonai Elohecha, You shall love the Lord your G-d. With all your heart, with all your soul, with all you being (with all your everything as I often say. 

V’ahavtem et hagar, You (plural) must love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. 

V’ahavta  l’rayecha kamocha, Love your neighbor as yourself. That is the translation we are most familiar with. Every translation is a commentary. Perhaps it really means fellow or kin. But I am not sure it changes the impact of these three sentences. 

Love G-d, Love the stranger. Love your fellow. Hillel sums it up similarly, “If I am not for myself who will be for me. If I am only for myself, what am I and if not now, when.” 

It is our job as a board, as a kehila kodosha, a holy community to love each other. To listen to each other and to respond to each other with kindness, respect and yes, love. That’s how I’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day.