“Teach us to number our days so we may find a heart of wisdom.” 

We’ve been counting. Counting for a minyan. Counting the Omer. Counting the number of days of Passover. Counting shloshim with two families. Counting the number of days the hostages have been in captivity. Counting so we remember.

So much of our tradition is about memory. Passover is no exception. We are to remember that we ourselves were slaves in Egypt and what the Lord did for us when we went forth.  

Today we observe yizkor, the memorial prayers. Even at our most joyous moments, we are to remember those who went before us. Our portion today talks about the 3 pilgrimage festivals. Passover, Shavuot and Sukkot. On each of these three holidays we are told to remember. We remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. There is a parallel discussion in Deut 16 which ends: “so that you may remember the day of your departure from the land of Egypt as long as you live.” 

 Three times a year—on the Feast of Unleavened Bread, on the Feast of Weeks, and on the Feast of Booths—all your males shall appear before your Lord God  in the place that [God] will choose. They shall not appear before God empty-handed, but each with his own gift, according to the blessing that your Lord God has bestowed upon you. Bear in mind that you were slaves in Egypt, and take care to obey these laws.  

 But the translation in this version of JPS on Sefaria, “Bear in mind” comes from that same root, zachor, to remember. 

We make kiddush on Shabbat evening and festivals to remember two things, Creation and the Exodus from Egypt.  

What does it mean to remember: 

“have in or be able to bring to one’s mind an awareness of (someone or something that one has seen, known, or experienced in the past).” 

Passover works this way. It is layered with memory. We remember the year we first asked the four questions. We remember polishing silver and swirling matzah balls. We remember the year the power went out. We remember the year we didn’t have enough chairs. We remember the year someone had a litte more than four cups of wine. We remember that we were slaves in Egypt that each of us went forth out of Mitzrayim, the narrow places. But wait, you say, none of us were present. That may be true. But each of us have gone forth from something. The year we had cancer. The year we didn’t have a job. The year we were getting a divorce. The year we moved. Whatever that narrow place was. All of the seder is designed to get children to ask, Why? Why are you doing this? This isn’t what we usually do. This is the answer we give the children. “It is because of what the Lord did for me, when I went forth from Egypt.” It’s personal.  

Today we also read the 13 attributes of the Divine. It is a portion I have thought about a lot. It was, in fact, my Bat mitzvah portion and the reason I became a rabbi. Many people think that Judaism is a religion of law and Christianity is about love. But no, when G-d hid Moses in the cleft of the rock and made all G-d’s goodness pass before him, we are told that G-d is merciful and compassionate, full of lovingkindness (chesed), slow to anger (patient) and forgiving of iniquity, transgression and sin.  

My Passover reading is Rabbi Shai Held’s new book Judaism is about Love. His goal is to answer the question that we are all loved, that Judaism is a religion of love. He begins by looking at the words rachum and chesed, both part of the Thirteen Attributes. I am looking forward to reading the whole book and sharing insights with you. 

My new insight, based on a close reading of today’s text is this. At the very beginning, all the way back in Genesis, we learn that G-d created man and woman, zachar and nekevah, male and female. But look at that word zachar. Is it related to zachor, remember. Perhaps. Perhaps then, what distinguishes us from all the other creatures is the ability for us to remember.  

I am not alone in noticing this connection.  

Rav S. R. Hirsch writes (comm. to Ex. 23:17): “The special function of [males] … is zocher, to form the chain of tradition of the human race, by which the achievements of each age are handed down from generation to generation.” Similarly, Rav Matityahu Clark, in his Etymological Dictionary of Biblical Hebrew (a book based on the commentaries of Rav Hirsch) defines Z-Ch-R as “male; bearer of tradition.” Or it could be thinking about the male anatomy, something we remember is something that pierces the mind. Hebrew is a gendered language. In the old days, it was only men who had the responsibility to say kaddish. Who can forget the scene in Yentle when the group is asked who will say kaddish for Yentle’s father and Streisand answered that she would. In the old days, sons were actually called kaddishes, the persons who would say kaddish for a parent. These days, including this congregation, men and women both say kaddish. The act of saying kaddish helps us to remember.  

 If, as we suggest, we are to become like G-d, in Latin imitatio dei, to imitate G-d, remembering is something G-d does. While the word may not always be zachor, sometimes it is pakad. G-d took note, G-d remembered, G-d counted, it is clear that G-d remembers. When G-d remembers it is an act of lovingkindness, gemilut chasadim, it is an act of compassion, 

 Perhaps the act of remembering is really an act of chesed, an act of lovingkindness. It is how we keep the memory of our loved ones alive, present. It is how we become like G-d. 

 It is that spirit in which I enter yizkor today.