“But Moses said to יהוה, “When the Egyptians, from whose midst You brought up this people in Your might, hear the news,  

they will tell it to the inhabitants of that land. Now they have heard that You, יהוה, are in the midst of this people; that You, יהוה, appear in plain sight when Your cloud rests over them and when You go before them in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night.  

If then You slay this people wholesale, the nations who have heard Your fame will say,  

‘It must be because יהוה was powerless to bring that people into the land promised them on oath that [that god] slaughtered them in the wilderness.’  

Therefore, I pray, let my Lord’s forbearance be great, as You have declared, saying,  

‘יהוה ! slow to anger and abounding in kindness; forgiving iniquity and transgression; yet not remitting all punishment, but visiting the iniquity of parents upon children, upon the third and fourth generations.’ (Numbers 14:11-20) 

Today’s Torah portion teaches us a lot about anger and forgiveness. It would seem that G-d is really, really angry again. You don’t want to mess with Him! He has the power to wipe out entire nations, the whole world even. Just look at the story of Noah. This time, He asks, “How long will this people spurn Me?” 

And Moses, I dare say being brave, deigns to answer Him, even negotiate with Him, beg Him. His first argument is to give the argument what I call, “the what will the neighbors think.” If G-d wipes out the people in the midst of the desert after rescuing the from Egypt, the Egyptians and all the other nations will think this G-d is powerless, and therefore return to worshipping their gods, many gods. Not a good look.  

Moses’s second argument is one we know. It is what Moses has been taught by G-d himself when Moses is hidden in the cleft of the Rock. G-d is slow to anger, patient, full of lovingkindness and one who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin. It is that G-d who brought the Israelites out of Egypt with a strong hand and an outsteched arm. It is reminder for G-d to return to G-d’s essential core. Being patient and full of lovingkindness, G-d needs to forgive the people their ongoing kvetching.  

And miraculously, G-d answers Moses by saying, “I have forgiven according to your word.” We know this language. “Vayomer Adonai Selachti kidvarecha.”  The very words we sing right after Kol Nidre. This exchange is a central part of our High Holy Day liturgy. We begin with the 13 Attributes on Rosh Hodesh Elul, they intensify at Selichot and continue all the way through all of Yom Kippur.  

Anger is a powerful emotion. And often underlying anger is fear and anxiety. What is G-d angry about? What is G-d afraid of?  Perhaps, if Psychology Today is correct and there really are only 5 fears: extinction, mutilation, loss of autonomy, separation, and ego death,  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brainsnacks/201203/the-only-5-fears-we-all-share  then G-d is afraid that the people won’t acknowledge Him, won’t recognize Him. The hint is in His own question, How long will they spurn me. He doesn’t want to be rejected. That is true for all of us. We don’t want to be rejected.  

In turn, we don’t want to be wiped out.  

Some argue that we shouldn’t be angry at all. We are often taught that anger is a bad emotion. I would disagree. It is a necessary human emotion. It helps keep us safe. 

There are positive aspects to anger: 

1. Anger protects us.  
2. Anger empowers us.  
3. Anger’s discharge is calming.  
4. Anger indicates injustice.  
5. Anger drives us to meet our goals.  
6. Anger safeguards our values.  
7. Anger instils optimism.  
8. Anger leads to self-improvement.  
9. Feeling anger enhances emotional agility.  
10. Anger covers painful feelings.  
11. Anger motivates us to find a deeper self.  

For the full description according to this article, see the end of this post.  

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wisdom-of-anger/202306/11-good-reasons-to-get-angry  

 Our tradition teaches that we should be like G-d, Usually I teach the midrash from Sotah 14ab. Just as G-d clothed the naked, we should clothe the naked. Just as G-d provided hospitality and visited the sick, we should visit the sick. Just as G-d buried the dead we should bury the dead. The text roles it back up to the 13 Attributes. Because G-d is full of lovingkindness.  

A careful reading of our text tells us that G-d is erech apayim, slow to anger or patient. My colleague, Rabbi Danny Price wrote his thesis on this very topic. G-d does get angry, really angry, but the anger seems to pass quickly. If we are to be like G-d, I am not telling you that you cannot be angry, but that you need to be slow to anger.   

These days, I’ll admit it. I’m angry. I am angry about rising anti-semitism. I am angry that the hostages have been held for 266 days. I can’t even imagine the pain they are undergoing. And the pain of their families. I am angry that we have had to sacrifice more Israeli soldiers to protect Israeli lives. If I am really honest, I am still angry that my first finance was killed disarming a terrorist bomb in Lebanon, 45 years ago. I am angry that so many Gazans have been killed in an attempt to wipe out Hamas, which may never be fully possible, and something may rise up even worse. Look at those photos of those children, how can you not weep? How can you not be angry. Golda Meir once famously said, “When peace comes we will perhaps in time be able to forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but it will be harder for us to forgive them for having forced us to kill their sons. Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.”  And I am angry that for decades nothing has worked. No one has been able to find a lasting solution. It should be simple. Just stop.  

Yet, G-d orders the Israelites to destroy the Amalekites. Every last one of them. Wipe them out. King Saul didn’t completely follow G-d’s instructions and spared the King of the Amalekites. For this he was punished and lost his kingship. In every generation someone rises up to destroy us. Haman was an Amalekite. Hitler is often described as an Amalekite,   

And yet, people are afraid, on both sides. Oh, how I hate that phrase now and yet it is true. It is impossible to make peace when you are afraid. You need to feel safe,. You need to be safe. That was the core finding of my thesis. You need to be safe in order to have the sins of the fathers (and mothers) not impact the next generation. This war is a generational trauma with sadly more generations to come now.  

Many are angry, including me, about more than geo-political issues. You may be angry because of life circumstances. Maybe you have health challenges. Maybe you didn’t get the job you wanted. Maybe you had a car accident. Maybe the dishwasher broke. Maybe you are confronting your own mortality or that of a beloved family member and you are afraid.  

It is OK to be angry. It is even OK to be angry with G-d. It is what we do with that feeling once we can identify it.  

The best chapter I have ever read on anger and G-d is in Blessings for the Journey, compiled by Mayyim Hayyim. I currently have two copies. I’ll leave one here on the bimah. They always disappear and don’t come back. https://www.mayyimhayyim.org/product/blessings-for-the-journey/  

There was a meme that appeared recently on Facebook.  

It actually is what sparked this d’var Torah: 

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world. Angry people cannot create a peaceful planet.” 

I am not sure that I agree fully with this analysis. You can only forgive when you feel safe. But maybe when we do eventually feel safe, we hope, just like G-d in this passage, we learn  to forgive. 

Forgiveness isn’t easy. It takes work. It doesn’t happen overnight. It cannot happen unless you feel safe. After studying the 13 Attributes deeply, that was the finding of my thesis. The fact that G-d gets angry and then forgives. That Moses can convince G-d to forgive, this is what gives me hope. As we move into the month of Tamuz and then into Av, may we all learn to be like G-d. And angry or not, may we all continue to work for peace. Amen. 

More on the positive aspects of anger: 

1. Anger protects us. Anger is designed to protect ourselves from an enemy or danger. Anger motivates people to become attentive to threats and sharpens our focus. When we are threatened or attacked, anger is activated and drives us to fight back and act swiftly and forcefully to defend ourselves. 
2. Anger empowers us. Opposite to fear driven by helplessness, anger makes us feel in charge and gives us a sense of control. People who experience and display their anger in a proportional and balanced way are better positioned to fulfill their unmet needs and control their destinies than those who suppress their anger. 
3. Anger’s discharge is calming. When you experience physical and emotional distress, anger strongly motivates you to do something about it. As such, anger helps you cope with stress by discharging the tension in your body. The result of your action calms your “nerves.” 
4. Anger indicates injustice. Anger emerges when we are denied rights or faced with insults, disrespect, manipulation, exploitation, or injustice. Anger indicates that something is not quite right and that someone has been treated unfairly. 
5. Anger drives us to meet our goals. Anger motivates us to pursue our desired goals and rewards. When we don’t get what we want, anger is triggered, indicating we have moved away from our objectives. It energizes and pushes us to act to achieve our goals. 
6. Anger safeguards our values. Anger serves as a value indicator and regulator. Anger is activated when our values are not in harmony with our situation. It makes us aware of what we stand for and motivates us to take action to change the situation and realign it with our values. 
7. Anger instils optimism. Astonishingly, anger can bring optimism. It encourages us to focus on what we hope to achieve rather than focusing on the hurt, abuse, or victimization. The anger mechanism is geared toward what is attainable, not the impossible. As such, we feel positive about our ability to change the situation. 
8. Anger leads to self-improvement. Anger can make us better. It provides insight into our faults and shortcomings. If looked at constructively, it can lead to self-improvement. If we know what makes us angry, we can work on these triggers to improve our response. 
9. Feeling anger enhances emotional agility. Emotionally intelligent individuals do not resist anger. Instead, they utilize the wisdom of anger to enhance their well-being. As a result, these individuals have greater emotional flexibility and agility, and their response is more adaptive. 
10. Anger covers painful feelings. In its raw state, anger prevents (defends/blocks) you from feeling even more painful emotions. Once you allow yourself to feel anger constructively, you can dig deeper to process your painful feelings better. 
11. Anger motivates us to find a deeper self. Anger provides insight into ourselves. It is the top layer of much deeper and hidden parts of the self. This is why it is important to trace the trail of anger and dig down to find and address its source. We can only free ourselves from the suffering it sometimes induces after addressing the blockage that leads to anger. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wisdom-of-anger/202306/11-good-reasons-to-get-angry