I am wearing a t-shirt this morning. “Be the good. Believe there is good.”
These are the years of the life of Sarah. Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years and Sarah died. Apparently in Kiriyat Arba, also known as Hebron. Abraham comes to mourn for her. He buys a burial plot. That’s why some believe Jews have the rights to the West Bank. He eulogizes her. Some say that his eulogy was the poem from Proverbs that we call Eishet Chayil, a Woman of Valor. And he knows he needs to find a wife for Isaac. Life continues. Life has to continue. The covenant has to continue. After the heart ache of the akeda, the binding of Isaac and the death of Sarah, he has to do right by Isaac.
He sends his servant, not named in the text but called Eliezer, back to the land of his birth on this mission, to find a wife.
Eliezer met Rebecca at the well:
“Drink, my lord,” she said, and she quickly lowered her jar upon her hand and let him drink. When she had let him drink his fill, she said, “I will also draw for your camels, until they finish drinking.” Quickly emptying her jar into the trough, she ran back to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels.
That’s a lot of water. And a lot of rushing. A lot of running.
Often Rebecca is described as having great kindness, empathy. Why?
She could have just given Eliezer water for himself. She volunteered to water the camels. All 10. Camels can drink between 20 to 40 gallons in one sitting, A gallon is about 5 pounds. Great for weight training! Rebecca would have had to draw, pull up between 1,600 and 3,200 pounds of water, one pitcher at a time.
The word gamal, from which we get camel in English, is an interesting one. Soon you may play driedle with a gimel on it—same word, that’s why the gimel has a tail. (and nun has no tail at all!) But it also gives us the phrase, gomal chasidim tovim, who bestows lovingkindness on us in formal English or who fills us up (like a camel) and the phrase, gemilut chasadim, deeds of lovingkindness. Chesed is important. Kindness is important. Empathy is important.
Chesed to animals especially important. There has been a lot of discussion in the Klein household and even in this community about how to treat animals, whether we can pray for animals and more since our dog Caleb and Simon were attacked two weeks ago. People have in fact been incredibly kind and we are grateful.
We’ve had people call, people who have said mi sheberach prayers, people who have visited with their dogs, some who dropped off gifts, and people who have helped transport. All of those are acts of kindness, gemilut chasidim chesed.
We are taught in the Talmud that we are commanded to feed our animals even before we ourselves are fed. The Gemara derives this from the verse, “And I will give you grass in your field for your livestock—and then does it says “you will eat and be satisfied (Deut. 11).” Berachot 40a
After the camel test…Eliezer dines at a big family feast. Perhaps a precursor to our own Thanksgiving feasts. He asks the family if they will allow Rebecca to go with him to be a bride for Isaac. There is some back and forth, some negotiation. Some jewelry given, even for the mom. The relatives insist on getting Rebecca’s permission.
And they said, “Let us call the girl and ask for her reply.”
They called Rebecca and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” And she said, “I will.”
As we approach Thanksgiving dinner some advice: don’t ask the young people, “When are you going to get married. Or when are you going to have a child. Or anything about finances or weight. Maybe not even about politics.
This portion actually has three deaths. Sarah, Abraham and Ishmael. We learn much from watching how our patriarchs and matriarchs deal with the inevitable loss. One important lesson. Abraham died alone. Yet Isaac and Ishmael, both estranged from their father, come back together, long enough to bury Abraham. They then go their separate ways.
Perhaps this is a model for our current world. We need to bury our dead and mourn too many senseless deaths. In Israel. In Lebanon. In Gaza. We need to stop the bloodshed and actively seek peace and pursue it.
Earlier this week, our book group joined with Gail Borden Public Library for National Jewish Book Month. We read Rabbi Sharon Brous’s The Amen Effect. If I could summarize the book it would be show up. Just show up. For the big things and the little ones. For the sad things little funerals and the simchas, the joyous ones.
As part of that discussion, I said that I tell families in the throes of grief that they will hear things from well-meaning people which may not be helpful. So like the topics to avoid at a Thanksgiving dinner, here are my top five things not to say to someone grieving:
- G-d needed another angel
- They’re in a better place.
- 3. You can have another child
- 4. G-d has a plan.
- 5. G-d will never give you more than you can bear.
The important thing is to show up…that is an act of kindness. And to listen. Deeply listen. And to meet people where they are, wherever they may be.
Rebecca teaches us to take this goal of boundless, unlimited lovingkindness, chesed, seriously. To challenge ourselves with real selfless commitment. Rebecca teaches us to be initiators, to look for times and places where we can be of service, where we can just show up, being proactive and useful, before others even expect it.
We are taught by the Ba’al Shem Tov, the founder of the chasidic movemnt, that a soul may come into this world for seventy or eighty years, b’ezrat Hashem, with G-d’s help, with the sole purpose of doing a favor for someone else, for being kind, like Rebecca. That ability to help someone in need, that chesed, lovingkindness. Is what Eliezer sought, for he know that it was that essential trait that would determine the candidate to be a genuine matriarch of the Jewish people. (based on https://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/763991/jewish/Rebecca-and-the-Camel-Test.htm )
Be like Rebecca. Be good. Be Kind.