I went to Guatemala not quite knowing what to expect. Delighted to have been chosen as a Rabbinic Global Justice Fellow, by American Jewish World Service, I was one of 11 rabbis to complete a two year program. But this was a commencement and not a graduation, a celebration of our accomplishments and not a finale.

Why go all the way to Guatemala to learn about the needs for tikkun olam, repairing the world? Aren’t there enough things to do in Elgin? Certainly. But having a global perspective is like the quote from Hillel. “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?”

It turns out this August was a very good time to go to Guatemala. The elections in Guatemala are happening September 6^th and there was much discussion of the elections in every meeting we had. In every encounter on the street. Even sitting on the plane on the way back to Miami. So if not now, when?

It turns out that Guatemala with its Mayan roots, is deeply spiritual. This trip was highly spiritual—from the texts we studied in chevruta and the very Jewish connections we made with the NGOs (Non Governmental Organizations) we were visiting. Whether it was the story of Shifrah and Puah we told to Codecut, an association that trains midwives, or Rebecca assenting to her marriage to Isaac which we told to an NGO that works of women’s right to education, or Abraham’s purchase of the land and the subsequent struggle for it, which I told to CCDA, a coffee collective, this trip had a very Jewish feel. Perhaps David, a Conservative Rabbi in Boca Raton said it best, “This is the way we live out our Jewishness.” And it is important to remember we were not looking AT the people of Guatemala, we were looking with the people of Guatemala. So I return with Spanish language sex ed materials for the Community Crisis Center, thoughts about farming corn since as I always joke, we live in the middle of a corn field, and curiosity about that plant on Route 20 in Hanover Park. Does anyone know what is going on in that plant that processes bananas including those from Guatemala? So there are lots of local connections.

It turns out that Shabbat in Guatemala at Lake Atilan is gorgeous. Kabbalat Shabbat outside with a backdrop of volcanoes with a little bit of lightening over the mountains. A vegetarian Shabbat dinner and lots of singing, a guided walking meditation in a rose garden, enough time to really enjoy davenning, great Torah discussion, shared leadership so we all participated but no one was burdened, leisurely lunch and a late afternoon hike over narrow swinging bridges and a swim in an infinity pool. The flowers. The colors. The birds. The butterflies. The lake. It was perfect. But one of those roses, William Shakespear by name, was planted in 1983 at the height of the violence. How was that possible? What were the innkeepers doing (or not)? What are they doing now? Is this a sanctuary, a refuge or just another example of privilege? I never could decide, but I am grateful for my Shabbat of rest and healing. Ours is not to finish the task, so says Pirke Avot, neither are we free to ignore it.

So if I am only for myself, what am I and if not now when?

It turns out that the fellowship was designed to teach Jewish leaders, rabbis, to be better leaders. It is professional development. And through the course of the week, as we learned frameworks for education, we got more adept as leaders. We learned how to present our story of self to be engaging and to connect with the story of us and the story of now. We learned about upstream/downstream, while on a boat. We learned not to make assumptions with our observations and instead to ask more questions. We learned about moral courage. All of these models were good for the work I do right here in Elgin, building the community at the synagogue and coalitions in the wider world.

Guatemala is a beautiful country. It is a land flowing with coffee and honey, corn and bananas. It is a land that has been fought over for generations. It is a land where it is hard to reconcile the beauty with the brokenness. It is a microcosm of the world and our task as Jews is to walk with the people of Guatemala, to help them achieve what they want for themselves…a reduction of violence, education, health care, nutrition, basic human rights.

9 days and a lifetime. There are many more stories to tell. I thought that once I went to Guatemala my fellowship would be over. In fact, it has just begun.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?

Yalla. Vamos. An early morning call to the bus and we are on our way. We even did sacred space on the bus. A lovely niggun featuring V’ahavta that Faith Joy wrote in memory of her sister and the powerful words of Abraham Joshua Heschel which David selected from Heschel’s speech Religion and Race. Words popped out relevant to our work here in Guatemala and also as the anniversary of Ferguson as it approaches. So our day began living out the V’ahavta as we discussed these very words on our way. Then Faith Joy continued our tradition of reading the daily journal.

The bus began to climb as we were leaving Guatemala City. Some of us spotted a large Israeli flag next to the Guatemalan flag. Meghan thought perhaps it was a joint development project. I thought it might be a sports complex.

The long bus ride gave us the opportunity to study about human rights development in chevruta. As was pointed out, the work we and AJWS are doing is incredibly complex. The more tools they can give us the better ambassadors we can be.

We stopped about an hour up the mountain for bathrooms. But the magical part was chocolate and pie. Margaret and Elliot tried theirs with rum which Leilach and Ruth both enjoyed sips. And we know who are shoppers are! 10 minutes and several came back with more treasures. The history of the place we stopped was fascinating. This was a highly contested parcel of land during the war and many time trees were cut down to block the road. As Rambo tells it the original owner was assassinated in front of the restaurant during the war by the guerrillas for his neutrality. His  widow re-openned it. It is now a social project of the community and that shop in front is run by the women of the community and they don’t pay rent.

The long bus ride gave Rambo a chance to tell his story of self. He was born in Antigua but registered in Guatemala City which also says a lot about the complexity of this country. At two his parents moved to Hong Kong. His father was a career military man and then a diplomat. His parents divorced. His mother remarried a Chinese man she met in the grocery line in Guatemala City. Rambo’s step father was a chef and they moved to Canada where he worked in a hotel eventually buying it. Rambo always worked at that hotel. At fourteen he told his mother he was going to be a soldier. His mother said “hell no”. So he stole $500 and hitchhiked back to Guatemala arriving at his father’s just before Christmas. His father also said “hell no you can’t become a soldier.” So with the help of his cousins he got into the military academy and did not speak to his father until the day of graduation. His father was not happy and even though Rambo was not obligated he entered the army and “was a man”. He felt he was fighting against communism and socialism. At least that is what he was told. Times were hard. 1983 in Quiche was really bloody. Rambo told us that Rigoberta Menchu wants to put the whole military on trial.  His personal opinion is that if the military is going to be put on trial both sides need to be tried. Both sides participated in the killing and the disappearances. Recently he was giving a tour and someone kept pointing at him. He worried he had done something to offend, so he approached. Do I know you? No, but I know you. On March 15 1984 you were ambushed and lost seventeen men. I shot you. Now bring me some gringos to buy something. Rambo confirms that he was shot. That he spent 27 days in a coma. But what he learned from the man who shot him who he now describes as his friend is that may be it is time to forgive and forget or at least move on.  Today he is not sure which side he would take. He knows his country needs tremendous help but he doesn’t like the approach of many groups. “I don’t want to be rescued. I want to work for it all. We need sustainable projects.”

A fascinating discussion ensued about Guatemalans taking care of their own supporting these grassroot initiatives we have been visiting. It doesn’t seem to happen much. The recent wave of immigration to the US seems to be driven by fear of drugs and gangs. Perhaps the US’s best strategy would be to invest more in education so people want to stay.

We drove by several buses for one presidential candidate prompting a frank discussion of the upcoming election. “I know there is corruption. I don’t like any of them. It is not fair that some need to serve in the army and others only need to serve in the reserves on Sunday. Military service should be compulsory for all.  Both leading parties have ties to drug cartels. Because there are only 4 year terms candidates promise the world and then cant deliver. One candidate promised an extra pay. Instead of 14 per year, he was promising 15.

He explained his connection to Israel. Trained by their special forces and military intelligence.  And he runs tours for Israelis. He likes their desire to always see more and their desire to see nature. And so sometimes the bus conversation is peppered with Hebrew.

As we drove into the town Quetzeltenango, we drove past the memorial for those who had left Guatemala for the US and send money back to their families. They are regarded as the heroes.

We drove up a very narrow road. Kudos to Gatto our skilled bus driver for navigating that! We had a delightful lunch of asparagus soup and fish. But not before having ten minutes to shop. The same shoppers came back with more treasures. And even more treasurers from the woman in the lobby hawking her hand made goods. But we wonder how we are perceived. Just as Americans with shekels to spend? Is this another example of white privilege? Do these shopkeepers and hawkers ever get to leave their communities? To travel to someplace else as we are doing? Do they have access to health care? To education? Do they want it? As we walked back to the restaurant i heard the strands of Simon and Garfunkel’s Sound of Silence. And i wondered. Are we committing the sin of silence?

However the real highlight of the day came when we went to Codecut, an association of midwives that provide training, services and advocacy. Part of what American Jewish World Service is doing is helping them to do capacity planning. It is clear that AJWS is proud of this organizations accomplishments and we received a warm welcome. Audacious hospitality. Nancy did the introduction and reminded us of Shifrah and Puah, the two midwives in the book of Exodus who enabled Moses to be born and for the Jewish people to survive. While the story was not familiar to these Mayan women I watched as Maria Cecelia beamed. Her face just lit up with joy and appreciation at the parallels. We had a ceremony to open the program lighting colorful candles symbolizing sun, rest, the energy of water, purity, transparency, air, sky and the natural world. We watched a video abbot Narcissa Garcia who delivered her first baby at 16. Sitting in the large circle each of us had an opportunity to ask questions.

We learned the importance of their advocacy work gaining access to hospitals. And as Ruth pointed out it seems to have become second nature to them. Because of the grants from American Jewish World Service the advocacy is paying off and they are even discuss the stories of just two years ago in very different terms.

But the most meaningful part was the small groups. In mine, we asked about when they have to take mothers to the hospital. For a recent c-section, breach, pre-clempsia, severe malnutrition of the mother or if after 6-8 hours nothing is happening. One of the midwives told the story about a birth where the baby would drop down and raise back up. It turned out it was a shortened umbilical chord. That one had to go to the hospital. They do do family planning, especially after the third or fourth birth. And most fathers attend the birth. They suggest it. The fathers should to show their commitment and to share in the pain.

We asked about the training. Most of them have mothers or grandmothers who were midwives. They hope their daughters will be delivered by midwives and that they themselves become midwives. But here was the shocker. In this two year training program they have had four men. One even told us that her grandfather was a midwife. We were also surprised to learn that the fall off in midwifery  came not recently but all the way back with the Spanish conquest. In the middle of this discussion tamales and a corn drink appeared. More audacious hospitality.

Stacey and Ruth got to hold a baby. Hamilton. He became the symbol for the trip. There were lots of pictures taken. There were lots of statistics and figures but perhaps the most important things were the stories and the feelings. This is important life saving life sustaining work. As a measure of that someone had asked how they get paid. They don’t think about payment in the middle of attending a birth. The most important. The health of the mother and the health of the baby and the two new eyes that appear.

They asked us about becoming a rabbi. We explained the training. Maria Cecilia said that one day she might like to become one. She exchanged emails with Eliot who will be back in Guatemala City as the high holiday rabbi at the Progressive Synagogue here. She was very curious. I was curious about the woman named Santos Margarita. She assured me she was no saint. But her family has always been spiritual leaders and healers. Soon it was time to go. Jill presented the ajws plaque and we broke into a spontaneity singing shalom chaverim because this was not good-bye since we would be seeing them tomorrow. Then back on the bus.

Dinner included an open discussion with Ruth. She began with her own story of self which she framed in terms of listening. Two stories. One about Zimbabwe where she visited a school and asked what they needed desks, chairs, books, whiteboard. And he replied, i cant teach if they don’t have breakfast. The other about her political life. She only changed her vote once. On needle exchange. She went out to one of the original exchanges under the elevated tracks at midnight in the Bronx. The people explained that while they couldn’t seem to kick their addictions, they didn’t want to infect anyone with AIDS either. Ruth heard the stories and publicly changed her vote.

Listening. We are back to the sh’ma. And these very words. When we lie down and when we rise up. Lila tov amigos. buenos nochis. It is another early morning bus call when we can discuss these words again. There is so much more to learn. So much more circling. So many more questions to ask. And there will be more stories to hear

Yesterday was a long post but that is because this experience is so rich. And I use that term deliberately. This entire fellowship has taught me much about rich and poor. And not making assumptions. Towards the end of the day riding the bus back to the hotel Leilach gave us r framework for cross cultural work. OAQ. Observations lead to assumptions instead of questions. And that is sometimes how myths and stereotypes perpetuative themselves.

If you are following this blog or Facebook you had a spoiler alert. Today was my dayo to lead our sacred space time. Each day we begin with 15 minutes of a spiritual exercis Today was my day and you saw the materials I used. I added the Psalm for the day as well.

I chose this material for several reasons. The poem was given to me by the Rev. David Ferner for ordination in a book called The Active Life by Parker Palmer a Quaker activist. It was originally published by the Church of Brethern in Elgin. I went last Friday to pick up the book in person. It just seemed like all the pieces of my life are contained just in how the poem got to me. It also seems like Judaism says much about the collective. The community. Most of our prayers are in the plural. Eloheinu. Our G-d. Avinu Malkenu. Our Father Our King. Rarely do we pray in the singular. So I started with Ozi V’zimrat Yah. G-d is my strength and song. G-d is my salvation. These are very powerful words. (And also the song that got me through a bike ride raising money for a domestic violence program after Liv was killed when she stepped in front of her mother who was shot by her father. This on the day I presented my thesis on domestic violence. But that was not the point. Her mom played volleyball with the clergy in Chelmsford. Not one of us saw the warning signs.)

Judaism has a lot to say about resurrection and we don’t always focus on it. Sometimes I think it is not rational enough for us moderns. Sometimes I think it is something we ceded to the Christians. But here comes a poem that talks about resurrection in a way I had never thought of. It is not the personal salvation of Ozi V’zimrat Yah. Rather it is the collective. Resurrection is something we achieve together. In community. And that is a very powerful way of looking at these texts.

So here is the material for real:

Ozi   V’Zimrat Yah. Vayhi Li’yeshua

G’vurot:

YOU ARE FOREVER MIGHTY, Adonai; You give life to all (revive the dead).
*Winter—You cause the wind to shift and rain to fall.
*Summer —You rain dew upon us.
You sustain life through love, giving life to all (reviving the dead) through great
compassion, supporting the fallen, healing the sick, freeing the captive, keeping faith
with those who sleep in the dust.
Who is like You, Source of mighty acts? Who
resembles You, a Sovereign who takes and gives life, causing deliverance to spring up
and faithfully giving life to all (reviving that which is dead)?
Shabbat shuvah — Who is like You, Compassionate God,
who mercifully remembers Your creatures for life?

Blessed are You, Adonai, who gives life to all (revives the dead).

translation from : http://www.reformjudaism.org/practice/prayers-blessings/shabbat-morning-worship-services-gvurot#sthash.zib0JHVi.dpuf

Ezekiel 37:5:

Thus says the Lord G-d to these bones: Behold I will breathe into you, and you will come to life.

Translation of the End of Yigdal

By the End of Days G-d will send our Messiah – to redeem those longing for G-d’s final salvation;

God will revive the dead in abundant kindness – Blessed forever is the praised Name.

Threatened by Resurrection:
They have threatened us with Resurrection
There is something here within us
which doesn’t let us sleep, which doesn’t let us rest,
which doesn’t stop the pounding deep inside.

It is the silent, warm weeping of women without their husbands
it is the sad gaze of children fixed there beyond memory . . .

What keeps us from sleeping
is that they have threatened us with resurrection!

Because at each nightfall
though exhausted from the endless inventory
of killings for years,
we continue to love life,
and do not accept their death!

In this marathon of hope
there are always others to relieve us
in bearing the courage necessary . . .

Accompany us then on this vigil
and you will know what it is to dream!

You will know then how marvelous it is
to live threatened with resurrection!
To live while dying
and to already know oneself resurrected.

Julia Esquivel

Parker Palmer said in the Active Life:

For Esquivel, there is no resurrection of isolated individuals. She is simply not concerned about private resurrections, yours or mine or her own. Each of us is resurrected only as we enter into the network of relationships called community, a network that embraces not only living persons but people who have died, and nonhuman creatures as well. Resurrection has personal significance – if we understand the person as a communal being – but it is above all a corporate, social and political event, an event in which justice and truth and love come to fruition. (152)

A word about technology. I traveled with my old beat up laptop. Seems there were real reasons I bought a new one three years ago. This one is missing the comma key. It needs to always be plugged in because the battery pack is not charging and when I went to print ahead of my session I could not download the file. So we will limp along. I might say that these are first world problems but I had a long conversation yesterday about terms such as first world third world developing world and global south. Does anyone remember what the second world was? I had forgotten. It was China and Russia. Reminds me of all those reports I wrote for SAP on BRIC. Brazil Russia India China.

Today began by creating community in another way. I met a friend to go running. This is someone who I know primarily through Facebook and running races at Disney. She lives in Guatemala City and is a teacher. It turns out she lives just two kilometers from the hotel.

The staff was not sure this was a great idea. But I am determined. OK some would even call me stubborn. So after getting clearance from one staff member we went.

There is a beautiful bike/walking/running trail just meters from the hotel. It runs down a central boulevard that passes some pretty ritzy real estate. Including the American Embassy. Many people were out using this path and except for the traffic and the fast pace set by my friend I did not find it scary at all.

We did see a fair amount of police presence but she said that was typical for rush hour. We talked about our running. Our families. The upcoming election both here in Guatemala and in the US. The Guatemalan election is September 6 and most people we have spoken with are not happy. There is a fair amount of corruption currently and the alternatives do not seem good either. Some even wonder if they will even vote.

After breakfast at the hotel it was time for sacred space. Pam led us in a lovely Modeh/Modeh Ani in the spirit of gratitude. I would like to bring back to my congregation. Lawrence led us in the Sh’ma begging us still to listen. It was a chant of the Kirtan Rabbi and I liked its gentle nature and its ability to slow us down. Slow me down. Then Pam talked about legacy as part of the Avot.

There are so many people who gave me the legacy of social justice. Certainly my mother and father. But also Al. Simon. Everett. Neil. David. Larry. Jack. Gordon. Linda. Peg. Katy. And the newer ones. Keith. Don. Denise. Maralee.

Then we talked about the ethical engagements in communities. How do we perceive culture.? Our staff person Leilach likes the work of Dr. Gary Weaver at the American University who talks about culture as an iceberg. 20% is visible. 80% is bidden beneath the surface. Those things include values and beliefs and thoughts and feelings. We talked about time—whether we are more on task or relationship. Whether we focus more on To Do (the most used verb in English) or To Be. Whether we are transactional or relational. And we looked at some quotes from Rigoberta Menchu Lord Sacks Eli Wiesel and one about Slumdog Tourism.

Then we studied in chevruta looking at a text from Pesikta d Rav Kahana 9:1 about being a tourist almost 2000 years ago in Rome and wondering at the poverty.

“When Rabbi Yehosua ben Levi went to Rome he saw marble pillars there which ahd been carefully covered with wrapping to keep them from cracking during the heat and freezing in the cold. At the same time he saw a poor man who had no more than a reed mat under him and a reed mat over him (to protect him from the elements).

My partner and I spoke of the wide discrepancy in wealth here and at home. At the mall here (I didn’t go) there are Mazeratis for sale. Yet the NGO we visited yesterday has a annual budget of just $45K. This part of Guatemala City looks pretty wealthy. Sections of town we drove through had crumbling buildings shuttered windows businesses obviously closed. I am sure we will see greater evidence of greater poverty out in the villages later in the week.

After studying the text we came back together to look at “Principles for Ethical Community Engagement (CHIME). If anyone wants the full text on this I will be happy to send it along.

Then we got on the bus with our tour guide Rambo and our Guatemalan expert Meghan and we went across town.

We met with two grantees today. The first Incidejoven is part of a youth movement that has worked to require sex education in every school. And they have won! Which is more than we in the United States can say when funding for Planned Parenthood is still threatened and more and more families exercise their opt-out options.

One of the challenges that Incidejoven has is that it is a youth movement. So once people reach 30 what happens? Currently that has meant that there is some leadership turnover and some lack of historical memory. AJWS is helping them with strategic planning and taking them to the next level. They are in beautiful new office space—for only a week! It is an old “colonial” house that has been converted to office space. It is light and airy with many levels. Perhaps what intrigued me the most is we had lunch outdoors—essentially in the garage. Now it makes so much sense how some of the households entertain in their garages all summer long! It is a great use of space.

We had the opportunity to meet in small groups with some of the leaders. My small group consisted of a rabbi from Milwaukee and a rabbi from San Francisco. We also had Christian and Paula. They were as curious about us and we were of them. Christian is the only male staff person and he is charge of doing training. It sounds like they are using a train the trainer model so that they can expand the capacity. Paula is studying law. They were both very articulate and passionate. And they are courageous. Christian in particular alluded to the fact that he is a survivor of sexual abuse. That takes great courage to admit in a group. I made sure with the help of one of our interpreters to thank him for his courage and to explain that he is not alone. We wished that we had more time because I for one would have liked to learn what Christian called revolutionary new methodologies for doing this kind of sex ed in the schools. I thought perhaps it would help the Community Crisis Center.

After lunch they led us in a game. They called it a game. Really it was an exercise of holding hands breathing in breathing out raising our arms and then screaming to recognize our power. The facilitator used a quote: “A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.” No one in our group seemed to recognize it but we all thought of the Herzl quote. “If you will it; it is no dream. It turns out after a careful search on google it is a John Lennon quote!

But this exercise goes to the believing in the possible which we talked about the first night.

After that we met the second group: La Enredadera de Mujeres. This is a new AJWS grantee. AJWS found them because some of the members are friends with the first group. Again we played a mixer: this time fruit salad. Mango. Banana. Pina. Switch. It really does break the ice and have every one giggling.

But the work they do is very serious. And the presenters rarely smiled as they presented the horrific statistics on child and teen pregnancy. Then they talked about their work on reducing sexual harassment in high schools and university. They talked about a campaign where the engineering school distorted their words and the frightening moment when they were locked in by the police until the dean could be called. Nonetheless they feel strongly that they are making a difference.

We got back on the bus feeling like we had new friends and partners.

A short break at the hotel which I used to prepare tomorrow’s sacred space. Then dinner at Azahar a Mediterranean restaurant where we again enjoyed wonderful vegetarian food. A paella. Mashed potatos and zuchinni spaghetti. But more important than the food where the three prompts to discuss with our table partners. Harkening back to the morning’s sacred space

One thing you are grateful for: I was grateful for the run and the ability to see a different Guatemala and I was grateful for my new friend Mark a rabbi who like Rabbi Everett Gendler is one who always moves tables and chairs. I was grateful for my chevruta study with him as well. One thing I want to take back with me is that sense of the possible. If you will it is no dream. A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. That sense of partnership.

And as for legacy I tied it to Mark moving tables and shares. There are so so many but today I was thinking mostly of Everett and David Ferner.

Ozi v’zimrat Yah. Vayhi Li’yeshua

G’vurot:

YOU ARE FOREVER MIGHTY, Adonai; You give life to all (revive the dead).
*Winter—You cause the wind to shift and rain to fall.
*Summer —You rain dew upon us.
You sustain life through love, giving life to all (reviving the dead) through great
compassion, supporting the fallen, healing the sick, freeing the captive, keeping faith
with those who sleep in the dust.
Who is like You, Source of mighty acts? Who
resembles You, a Sovereign who takes and gives life, causing deliverance to spring up
and faithfully giving life to all (reviving that which is dead)?
Shabbat shuvah — Who is like You, Compassionate God,
who mercifully remembers Your creatures for life?

Blessed are You, Adonai, who gives life to all (revives the dead).

translation from : http://www.reformjudaism.org/practice/prayers-blessings/shabbat-morning-worship-services-gvurot#sthash.zib0JHVi.dpuf

Ezekiel 37:5:

Thus says the Lord G-d to these bones: Behold I will breathe into you, and you will come to life.

Translation of the End of Yigdal
By the End of Days G-d will send our Messiah – to redeem those longing for G-d’s final salvation;

God will revive the dead in abundant kindness – Blessed forever is the praised Name.

Threatened by Resurrection:
They have threatened us with Resurrection

There is something here within us

which doesn’t let us sleep, which doesn’t let us rest,

which doesn’t stop the pounding deep inside.

It is the silent, warm weeping of women without their husbands

it is the sad gaze of children fixed there beyond memory . . .

What keeps us from sleeping

is that they have threatened us with resurrection!

Because at each nightfall

though exhausted from the endless inventory

of killings for years,

we continue to love life,

and do not accept their death!

In this marathon of hope

there are always others to relieve us

in bearing the courage necessary . . .

Accompany us then on this vigil

and you will know what it is to dream!

You will know then how marvelous it is

to live threatened with resurrection!

To live while dying

and to already know oneself resurrected.

Julia Esquivel

Parker Palmer said in the Active Life:
For Esquivel, there is no resurrection of isolated individuals. She is simply not concerned about private resurrections, yours or mine or her own. Each of us is resurrected only as we enter into the network of relationships called community, a network that embraces not only living persons but people who have died, and nonhuman creatures as well. Resurrection has personal significance – if we understand the person as a communal being – but it is above all a corporate, social and political event, an event in which justice and truth and love come to fruition. (152)

Ozi v’zimrat Yah. Vayhi Li’yeshua

G’vurot:

YOU ARE FOREVER MIGHTY, Adonai; You give life to all (revive the dead).
*Winter—You cause the wind to shift and rain to fall.
*Summer —You rain dew upon us.
You sustain life through love, giving life to all (reviving the dead) through great
compassion, supporting the fallen, healing the sick, freeing the captive, keeping faith
with those who sleep in the dust.
Who is like You, Source of mighty acts? Who
resembles You, a Sovereign who takes and gives life, causing deliverance to spring up
and faithfully giving life to all (reviving that which is dead)?
Shabbat shuvah — Who is like You, Compassionate God,
who mercifully remembers Your creatures for life?

Blessed are You, Adonai, who gives life to all (revives the dead).

translation from : http://www.reformjudaism.org/practice/prayers-blessings/shabbat-morning-worship-services-gvurot#sthash.zib0JHVi.dpuf

Ezekiel 37:5:

Thus says the Lord G-d to these bones: Behold I will breathe into you, and you will come to life.

Translation of the End of Yigdal
By the End of Days G-d will send our Messiah – to redeem those longing for G-d’s final salvation;

God will revive the dead in abundant kindness – Blessed forever is the praised Name.

Threatened by Resurrection:
They have threatened us with Resurrection

There is something here within us

which doesn’t let us sleep, which doesn’t let us rest,

which doesn’t stop the pounding deep inside.

It is the silent, warm weeping of women without their husbands

it is the sad gaze of children fixed there beyond memory . . .

What keeps us from sleeping

is that they have threatened us with resurrection!

Because at each nightfall

though exhausted from the endless inventory

of killings for years,

we continue to love life,

and do not accept their death!

In this marathon of hope

there are always others to relieve us

in bearing the courage necessary . . .

Accompany us then on this vigil

and you will know what it is to dream!

You will know then how marvelous it is

to live threatened with resurrection!

To live while dying

and to already know oneself resurrected.

Julia Esquivel

Parker Palmer said in the Active Life:
For Esquivel, there is no resurrection of isolated individuals. She is simply not concerned about private resurrections, yours or mine or her own. Each of us is resurrected only as we enter into the network of relationships called community, a network that embraces not only living persons but people who have died, and nonhuman creatures as well. Resurrection has personal significance – if we understand the person as a communal being – but it is above all a corporate, social and political event, an event in which justice and truth and love come to fruition. (152)

All my bags are packed. I’m ready to go…..It seems more like the “Travelers Blessing Tefilat HaDerech” than the actual one.

No actually I am here. I’ve arrived. With 11 other rabbis and some of the AJWS staff. Ruth Messinger the founder and executive director (safe to say my hero) will be here tomorrow.

First impressions of Guatemala.The avocados are amazing. After two years of studying it is good to finally be here. My colleagues are caring committed interesting fun. And they are good at taking care of one another. Guatemala City is a real city of 5 million people. It looks more like sections of Heidelberg or Jerusalem than Los Angeles. Very European in feel. Dinner at a traditional Guatamalan restaurant was yummy. And it was very pretty. The flowers are gorgeous and everywhere. So is the music. Our session started with a wedding downstairs and the Latin beat was palpable. Literally.

We began our reflection meeting with stating one thing we wanted to leave behind and one thing we would each individually bring to the group. I was asked to go first which I thought was a daunting task. I said that I wanted to leave behind my dependence on my cell phone but that it would be hard because it doubles as my camera. I think I bring to the group the diversity that is my community and our commitment to pluralism. What I realized as I spoke later in the evening about my Guatemalan son-in-law and my Cambodian nephew is how diverse my own family is. Others spoke of needed to leave work behind or stress or anxiety and uncertainty. I think it is fair to say we are all excited and also nervous.

When each person spoke he or she would say “Dabartti I spoke.” And we would echo “Shamati. I heard.” This is something that I taught my own congregation yesterday when we were working on active listening skills. So the synergy was palpable. Then Adina our staff person told us a d’var Torah that she remembers from when she was 15. If you leave out the vowels in “Sh’ma Yisrael” you can read it as “Sh’ma Yashar El” translated roughly “Listening leads straight to G-d.”

This became the theme for me for the evening—probably the whole trip. Listen. Learn. Listen. Learn. See the Divine in everyone. Hear their words. This is how we get closer to G-d.

In 48 hours I will be on a plane heading to Miami and then onto Guatemala. It is the culmination of a two year Global Justice fellowship with American Jewish World Service.

American Jewish World Service works in 19 Global South countries to partner with local agencies to ameliorate poverty. Along the way, they have discovered they need to work on a reduction of violence, especially for women, girls and the LGBT community.

I became a fellow as part of my commitment to professional development. I work hard on issues of social justice, especially partnering locally with organizations like Habitat for Humanity, the Community Crisis Center, the 16^th Circuit Court Steering Committee on Domestic Violence. AJWS’s global approach to these issues might inform the work I do here.

It has been a privilege to be part of this group. Along the way to Guatemala, I have learned much. Read much. Done all my homework (well almost, there is this nagging last project about the story of self that I have not completed). Learned the Wellstone Organizing method. Lobbied for IVAWA, the International Violence Against Women Act. Met my congressman in his office, at our synagogue and in Washington.

My congressman recommended that I read a book, The Locust Effect. It was not on the “official” reading list but I read it anyway. I have found this book especially haunting. The author shares much of the opinion of AJWS and Nicholas Kristof who wrote Half the Sky. But he seems to take it a step further. Its premise is that without an effective and safe legal system, violence against women and girls, the amelioration of poverty cannot happen.

These issues and more are part of what AJWS works on and I look forward to seeing the agencies that AJWS supports and the impact that involvement has had. I look forward to meeting real people and seeing how these issues effect them directly. I look forward to running and maybe meeting one of my running buddies. I look forward to the bright colors, the mountains, a mythical lake, some Mayan ruins. I look forward to chocolate and coffee. And all of the experiences I can’t really prepare for or predict.

This fellowship builds community too. It builds it with a network of rabbis who participate with me. We have studied in chevruta. We have discussed classical Jewish texts and difficult books like Bitter Fruit. We have spent time in Los Angeles, New York and Washington. Along the way we have become friends. We have become a community–virtually and occasionally in person. And in Chicago, there is another group of “fellow travelers” who work locally.

I am hoping to continue this blog, so watch this space. My understanding is I have free data, so text and email and not voice. And it will be over almost before it begins.

We are still in the period of time known as the Three Weeks. There is much to celebrate today. Thank you Risa for that opportunity. Unfortunately there are still things that are disturbing.

If you came today because you wanted me to address the Iran deal, I will but only after services and after Kiddush so we don’t spoil the Shabbat shalom moment that we create within these holy walls of the sanctuary. Similarly, if you wanted me to discuss Chattanooga and the rising threat of ISIS to our American way of life, you will have to wait, as we mourn the tragic loss of life.

Nonetheless, there are things that have happened this week, that need to be discussed. And I would like to suggest a framework to you. As I wrestled with what to say, Rabbi Shlomo Riskin, a leading, Modern Orthodox rabbi, writing in the Jerusalem Post, reminded us in his D’var Torah that Unity does not mean Uniformity.

And while he was linking this week’s Torah portion and last week’s Torah portion together, I want to share with you three separate events this week. The first one seems simple enough on the surface. Can my seminary post an job listing for a male-only shofar blower? “That’s discriminatory,” you say. It might be. But, with all deference to Risa, my seminary is an institution that prides itself on pluralism. Within that spectrum is a halachic position that says that women are not obligated to time bound mitzvot, including blowing of shofar. Since they are not obligated, then someone hearing a shofar blown by a woman has not fulfilled his obligation. I don’t like it, but that is the baseline halacha. And, in truth, this very argument has come up in my rabbinate. Multiple times in multiple contexts.

When I was studying in Israel and the victim of a violent crime, one of my rabbi’s responses was to say that it was G-d telling me that I could not be a rabbi because I was a woman. That was egregious—and not good theology. However, I once attempted to apply for a job in a small congregation and was turned down by the coordinator, himself a Reform rabbi, before I even applied, because that congregation was only taking male applicants. I chanted Kiddush at a Jewish assisted living complex, and a woman, herself a member of a Conservative synagogue, told me that it was beautiful but now could a man chant so it would count. And just last year here at CKI when we hosted a Men’s Club regional meeting someone walked in and when introduced to him, he said, “Well I hope you are not davenning and we are not counting women.”

With all due respect to Peretz who would not like me to embarrass him, he approached me this morning and said he was still angry because of something I did. “Oh, no,” I silently thought to myself. “What have I done now,” because I never like to anger Peretz. It was my sermon. He didn’t like that some Jews in Israel were saying that Reform Jews are not Jews. “I don’t agree with everything you do, Rabbi. But, you are a Jew and as a rabbi you deserve my respect. We need more respect. Those Jews are praying for the Third Beis Hamikdash. How can they ever get it if they don’t have any respect? It is just wrong. It will never be rebuilt.” He reminded me that when the Torah was given at Sinai, it was given to all the people. “It wasn’t just the men. All the people. Men, women and children stood at Sinai. Even in the Talmud it says that women wore tefilin.”

So let’s talk about that Talmud. Here is a page of it. The very page that contains the story I want to teach this morning. In the middle are the Mishnah and the Gemara. That makes up the Talmud. The Talmud is a redaction of the Oral Law. The tradition that was whispered by G-d to Moses on Sinai and then handed down generation to generation. You know what an etrog is? That lemonlike, citron fruit we use at Sukkot? What the Torah says is to take the fruit of a goodly tree. What, you might ask is the fruit of a goodly tree? An etrog. That is how Talmud works. And in the Talmud they never fully tell you the answer. All the arguments are preserved. The halachic answers appear in later law codes like the Mishneh Torah and the Shulchan Arukh. Around the traditional Talmud page are even more commentaries, including Rashi—whose daughters apparently wore tefilin and blew shofar.

On the Ark cover at the Academy for Jewish Religion, my seminary, hang these very important words: Elu v’elu. “These and these.” It come from this passage of the Talmud: “For three years the Academy of Shamai and the Academy of Hillel disputed. These said, ‘The Halacha is like us’ and those said, ‘The Halacha is like us’. The Divine Voice (bat kol) descended and said, ‘these and those are the words of the Living God…’” (B.T. Eruvin 13b)

This is the text that Rabbi Shlomo Riskin used in his d’Var Torah. And it is so appropriate for today. Whether we, as Riskin was, are talking about rabbinical courts in Israel and who has authority over conversions. Or whether we are talking about if a woman can read Torah at the Kotel. A woman was arrested this week for precisely that on Rosh Hodesh Av. Or whether it is how we post job listings.

Or maybe even more to the point, how we conduct ourselves in this congregation that prides itself on being an independent synagogue. Because this week, how we act in our “pluralistic” community was questioned too. Sorry Risa. But even Risa, who I was told when I first got here would never like the world pluralism has softened. What was the issue? Actually, there were more than one. Whether I had time to do pastoral care or adult study if my job is to grow the congregation. Whether there should be sermons on Friday night. Whether we do what we usually do because all of you are here or we try something new–even new melodies. Whether someone had enough Jewish background to serve on a committee. Whether something was Jewish or not. Oh, yes, I get these types of questions all the time.

We need to do so with respect. With careful listening. Without enflaming debate. Without knee jerk reactions. Without assuming something isn’t Jewish. Sometimes I think that the source of this tension is fear. Fear is a powerful thing. And it can be dangerous. Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlav, one of our best known chassidic rabbis taught, “All the world is a narrow bridge. The important thing. The center thing, is to not be afraid.” It isn’t easy.

I know that Jews kvetch–we’ve been doing it for a long time, since the wandering of the Israelites in the desert. But I liked the attitude of one of our senior-seniors. The one who is 99. When I called her this week, mostly to make sure she had air conditioning, even before my question, she said, “I’ve got nothing to complain about. I am better off than 99% of the world.” That’s the attitude we need. Not complaining. Because, really, we are better than 99% of the world. Could things be better? Sure. Could we grow the congregation further? Sure. Could we be more intentional about our community and deepen the relationships and connections? Sure. Does our tradition tell us how? Sometimes.

It is hard to live in the tension between “these and these.” They both can’t be right. Or can they? I believe they can. And I believe that keeping this foundational text in mind, can help us avoid the screaming, name calling, frustration that sometimes occurs when we live in the 5000 year tradition and a democracy.

Riskin went on the quote another text: “The Mishna (Eduyot 1:5) magnificently explains that the reason for including also the minority opinion within the Oral Tradition, when the law is generally in accordance with the majority, is because a later generation (with different conditions) may decide to rule in accordance with the minority.

For this reason, throughout Jewish history different religious courts existed side by side, one in accordance with the more stringent Academy of Shamai and the other more lenient in accordance with the Academy of Hillel. Nevertheless, “Those from the Academy of Shamai were not prevented from marrying women from the Academy of Hillel and vice versa” (Eduyot 4:8).

So some were strict and some were lenient. And they managed to co-exist. Co-mingle. Even intermarry.

Riskin finished his sermon quoting the first chief rabbi of Israel, Rav Kook, whose works we are going to study on Tisha B’av: “Scholars increase peace in the world”: (would that people see me as a scholar and a peace builder!) “True peace cannot enter the world without there being many different expressions leading to peace, all sides and all views… a multiplicity of ideas which emanates from different minds and different educational traditions is what enriches and spreads wisdom and establishes a true building of peace.”

Unity does not mean uniformity. It may not mean concensus. It means being able to bring more that on idea to the table and to be able to listen with respect. It means doing so without fear. It means elu v’elu, these and these are both the words of the living G-d.

It’s been a week. It’s been quite a week. Just last Sunday we began marking the Three Weeks, that period that begins on the 17^th of Tammuz when the walls of Jerusalem were breached by the Romans in 70CE and that culminates with Tisha B’Av when the Temple was destroyed. We are taught in the Talmud, in a text we will examine shortly, that the Temple was destroyed because of Sinat Chinam, senseless, baseless hatred. Jew of Jew.

So here are three news stories coming out of Israel this week. Right at the beginning of this period of mourning. And I mourn today, both for the historical injustices and the all too current ones. I mourn. I reflect. I act. Yes, you do have a rabbi that is an activist.

Some rabbis have stopped talking about Israel from the bimah. It has become too politically charged. Some say that as Jews we cannot say anything negative about Israel. That we can’t air our dirty linen in public. Some say that our biggest threats are not the external ones, that they are the internal ones. Quite simply I love Israel and I cannot remain silent.

On Sunday last week, the Israeli cabinet, under pressure from the ultra-Orthodox, reversed a decision on the Conversion Law, making it more difficult for the 330,000 people in Israel not considered Jewish by the Chief Rabbinate in Israel. These people are mostly Jews from the former Soviet Union and their Israeli born children.

http://www.jpost.com/Israel-News/Politics-And-Diplomacy/Liberman-Haredi-parties-control-government-Israeli-society-captive-to-extremist-elements-408032

The Jewish Agency has expressed “deep regrets” over the cabinet decision and explains that the establishment of local courts would have made conversion more accessible to immigrants and their children, who “desire to join the Jewish people in a more complete and recognized manner,” Jewish Agency Chairman, Natan Sharansky.

What this means for me as a Diaspora rabbi, as a woman rabbi, as a rabbi representing a non-Orthodox congregation, that my conversions will not be recognized. This is not really a new story. And when I meet with conversion candidates I always explain that while I will work with them, if they are thinking of making aliyah, they might want to consider an Orthodox conversion.

This story alone would have gotten my Irish ire up. But the news did not stop there. You see, this is partly my story.

I guess I always knew my mother was right. This is good because the next story came out on what would have been her birthday. According the Minister of Religious Affairs in Israel, I am not really a Jew. Shocking, yes?

http://www.jpost.com/Israel-News/Religious-Services-Minister-Reform-Jews-arent-Jews-408224

http://www.jpost.com/Israel-News/Religious-Services-Minister-Reform-Jews-arent-Jews-408224

So how does it feel to have a rabbi that isn’t Jewish? As one of our members said immediately. “The haredim, they’re crazy.” And if were just me and my mother and by extension my daughter, I wouldn’t care as much. But allow me to tell her story:

My grandmother, was born in Ireland and sent to a Jewish orphanage in Milwaukee. In the late 1890s. So she could have a better life. She was adopted by the L. Fish family in Chicago (a famous furniture company family) and raised as Jewish. My mother was raised as Jewish (excuse me, as a classical Reform Jew), was confirmed in 1938 at Sherith Israel in Saint Louis, a founder of Temple Emanuel Saint Louis, married by a rabbi in Saint Louis (a Reform rabbi but still), raised her children as Jews. I was a Bat Mitzvah and a Confirmand at Temple Emanuel Grand Rapids (Reform) and then went on a NFTY summer program. I fell in love. I went to college. I went to Israel. I resumed the relationship with my high school sweetheart. We thought we would get married but the State of Israel decided I wasn’t a Jew and would have to convert. I did not. Instead I proved that my grandmother had been born Jewish in Ireland and sent to that orphanage precisely because it was Jewish. Then I did what any angry 20 year old does. I threw the research out.

As you know I worked for Jewish educational organizations, became a rabbi, worked at a mikveh (no real doubt I am Jewish by now, can’t count the number of times I have immersed!) and still work for a Jewish organization. But really, these kinds of stories, these ongoing stories still hurt.

Now we have congregants whose conversions I helped facilitate who wonder, “Am I really a Jew” and sadly I have to explain again–as I do in the conversion process, that for me you are Jewish, for this congregation you are considered Jewish. However, in Israel you may not be considered Jewish. Or should that language be Jewish enough?

Don’t worry, most of you here are not Jewish either. No Reform Jews. No Jews who are not ultra-Orthodox—and as Saul said—they didn’t even fight to make the State of Israel a State, they are still waiting for the Messiah. Here is the shocking quote from the Minister of Religious Affairs, Shas MK David Azoulay: “Let’s just say there’s a problem,” he said in an interview with Israel’s Army Radio, before adding “I cannot allow myself to call such a person a Jew.”

Of course, these comments raised international criticism immediately. Predictably, Rabbi Rick Jacobs, head of the Reform Movement. But also the head of American Jewish Committee, “The American Rabbinate is charged with mustering pro-Israel support among constituents. Repeated humiliation of so many within the Rabbinate, and failure to revise the laws governing personal-status issues, risks alienating the bulk of American Jewry and will make it more difficult to secure that support.” See more at: http://www.ajc.org/site/apps/nl/newsletter3.asp?c=7oJILSPwFfJSG&b=8478375#sthash.L503tELw.dpuf

Even Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said, that Azoulay’s views, “do not reflect the position of the government” and clarifying that Israel “is home to all Jews.” And he did apologize, sort of, claiming that Reform Jews are still “sinners” and the ones to blame for assimilation.

The best line, came from my colleague and friend, Conservative Rabbi Menachem Creditor who is in Israel as part of the Hartman Institute. He wrote to Netanyahu to express his dismay and it was carried in the Times of Israel: “To put it as painfully and as simply as is possible: I’m too busy protecting Israel from delegitimization to protect myself, as a Conservative rabbi, from Israel’s delegitimization. On this day, the 17th of Tammuz, over 2,000 years ago, the walls of Jerusalem were breached. On this day, the 17th of Tammuz of this year, again a great harm has been done to the People Israel. But, as opposed to the mythic re-understanding of the Romans destruction of Jerusalem, this time it’s painfully clear: we’re destroying ourselves from the inside out.”

But those two stories were not enough. Also this week, a woman studying at the Conservative Yeshiva in Jerusalem went to the Kotel. The last remaining place of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. The focus of many of our prayers for 2000 years. And she wore a kippah. Just as she does in Colorado. Just like she does at the Conservative Yeshiva. Just as I do here this morning. Most mornings and at the Kotel. She was not allowed access to the Kotel Plaza. The security guards demanded to know “who authorized you to wear a kippah.” They attempted to arrest her and was escorted off property. Let me be clear. She was there as an individual, wanting to daven as she sees fit—as many of our members do here. This was not, as some suspected, an organized Woman of the Wall event. I remain a proud member of the Women of the Wall, precisely because of these kinds of provocations. The Rabbi of the Western Wall, Rabbi Shmuel Rabinovitch, eventually apologized, first saying he knew nothing about the incident. His apology is similar to that of Azoulay’s. “If such an incident did take place, the Kotel ushers were wrong to prevent Linda from entering… the Western Wall is open to every man and woman. I would like to send my sincere apology and the ushers’ apology to Linda, and I hope she will come back and visit the Kotel soon,” “Unfortunately, there has been a difficult atmosphere of suspicion and lack of faith in the Western Wall recently as a result of the Women of the Wall’s loud struggle,” the rabbi explained. “It’s an atmosphere which affects many worshippers, and Linda was affected too.”

Does anyone else see the problem here? A woman can wear a kippah in Colorado or Elgin without fear of arrest and cannot in Israel? The woman is being blamed for what she is wearing? This is a blame the victim apology. Now here is the irony. This very same rabbi wrote this week’s d’var Torah for Jerusalem Post, where he praises the daughters of Zelophehad for speaking out and continuing their father’s name by being granted a share in his inheritance. He calls them courageous women.

http://www.jpost.com/Opinion/Parshat-Pinhas-Woman-and-hope-408543

This, the very week, where there are three sections that show how inclusive the tradition is for women. We are given the rules for Rosh Hodesh, the new month, the half holiday for women. We are told, as Rabinovitch explains in his own D’var Torah, how the daughters of Zelophehad are courageous in demanding to inherit their father’s land. All five of them. Their names are preserved. Malah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah and Tirzah. And we are told that Yocheved gave birth to Aaron, Moses and Miriam. All three siblings. In the very same verse.

These women are our inheritance. We have to care about these outrageous stories from Israel to protect their very legacy. Our legacy. We have to care about these stories because we cannot give into sinat chinam, we must embrace what Rav Kook called sinat ahavat.

These are the Three Weeks. I would urge you to do Three Things:

1. Study the texts below:
2. Speak out. Don’t hide these stories. Don’t hide your story. Find your voice. Explain how they affect you personally. Write to Benjamin Netanyahu. Take a photo of you with your kippah or your tallit and send it to Women of the Wall for their campaign, My Tallit, My Perogative. http://womenofthewall.org.il/campaigns/my-prerogative/
3. Give generously to JUF. Taking our support away from Israel at this critical time will only make it easier for the ultra-Orthodox. My former boss used to say, “Follow the money.” If we continue to give, Israel will have to listen. Our own Harry Seigle, brother of Mark and Michael is chairing this year’s JUF annual campaign. I am sure we will hear more of this in later months. Or give to New Israel Fund.

Talmud Bavli Yoma 9b:

Why was the First Temple destroyed? Because of three evils in it: idolatry, sexual immorality and bloodshed . . . But why was the Second Temple destroyed, seeing that during the time it stood people occupied themselves with Torah, with observance of precepts, and with the practice of charity? Because during the time it stood, hatred without rightful cause prevailed. This is to teach you that hatred without rightful cause is deemed as grave as all the three sins of idolatry, sexual immorality and bloodshed together.
[AJWS translation]

Avot De Rabbi Natan:
Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai once was walking with his disciple Rabbi Joshua near Jerusalem after the destruction of the Temple. Rabbi Joshua looked at the Temple ruins and said: “Alas for us! The place which atoned for the sins of the people Israel through the ritual of animal sacrifice lies in ruins!” Then Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai spoke to him these words of comfort: “Be not grieved, my son. There is another way of gaining atonement even though the Temple is destroyed. We must now gain atonement through deeds of lovingkindness.” For it is written, “Lovingkindness I desire, not sacrifice” (Hosea 6:6).  Siddur Sim Shalom, (Avot DeRabbi Natan)  Jules Harlow, ed. (New York: United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism)

Rav Abraham Kook, First Chief Rabbi in Israel:
“If we were destroyed, and the world with us, due to baseless hatred, then we shall rebuild ourselves, and the world with us, with baseless love — ahavat chinam. (Orot HaKodesh vol. III, p. 324)

It would seem the current Israeli rabbinate has forgotten these fundamental texts. It is our job to remind them, to teach the texts and make them our own. To that point, on Tisha B’av itself, we will gather here at CKI to study more of Rav Kook’s work. Please join us.

Sometimes you are in the right place at the right time and you are privileged to do the right thing, even if that is not clear at the time.

Today I went to make a routine hospital call. I had become friendly with the chaplain at the hospital and so before going I called and left her a message. I was hoping maybe she could take a break and have coffee. I didn’t hear back and I didn’t even know if she was working.

It was impossible to park. I valet parked the car. I asked the valet if he had seen Karen. He said no. But there she was, meeting me excitedly at the door. “This is nice,” I thought.

Beshert—Destined. This turned out to be anything but a routine hospital call.

Three years ago, this was the first hospital I was called to visit when I arrived in Elgin. A youngish woman was struggling with a recurrence of breast cancer. Her daughter was getting married that year. They had already moved the date of the wedding up to September. Now she was told that morning she may not make it to the wedding. I went. That was the day the pink fire trucks to support breast cancer awareness were at the hospital. I checked in with the chaplaincy office as I always do when I go to a new to me hospital. We made sure that our patient got to go outside to see the fire trucks. Her mood improved immeasurably. She had hope for the first time in apparently weeks.

But as August turned to September it was clear to all that she was slipping. It wasn’t clear that she was going to make it to the wedding. By the week of the wedding we knew that our patient would not be able to attend. We began to make plans to have a pre-wedding in our patient’s hospital room. It was scheduled for a Thursday afternoon just before the wedding rehearsal. The chaplain, now my friend, arranged for a wedding cake and liquid refreshments through concierge services. She decorated the report room. I brought a chuppah. My daughter made a wedding bouquet. She brought a glass in a white organza bag.

The entire wedding party was there, dressed in their wedding attire. All of the nurses stood in the hall. The priest was there. But where was the rabbi? She couldn’t make it out from Deerfield in time. I would have to go this alone.

You see, like our patient who herself was in an interfaith marriage to a Catholic who had raised two Jewish daughters, the bride and groom were embarking on an interfaith marriage and had arranged for a rabbi and priest to co-officiate.

Problem—my contract stated that even though I am not a member of the Rabbinical Assembly I had to uphold their four mandates which include not performing an intermarriage. Was I somehow violating my new contract by doing this death-bed wedding? I hoped not as I chanted the Sheva Brachot, the Seven Blessings of Jewish weddings. I was convinced that it was the right thing to do and I would do it again.

The next day, the “real wedding” happened on schedule but without our patient present. I attended the wedding and sat in the back row. It was lovely in the late Friday afternoon sunlight. I went to lead services at the synagogue and other people continued to enjoy the wedding festivities.

Back at the hospital, our patient’s condition continued to worsen. Late at night, the husband and several members of the congregation went back to the hospital to describe the wedding and to just sit with our patient. She died sometime that night, after midnight, not on her daughter’s wedding day. The funeral was held on Tuesday and I thought that was the end of the story.

No—the staff was so moved by the wedding in the hospital they continued to tell the story, over and over again. Today, the chaplain, my friend, had been asked to present the story as part of the Northwestern Medical’s (Central Dupage is now part of Northwestern Med) monthly leadership team. 300 upper eschelon management medical professionals were gathered in the auditorium to listen to updates about budget, hospice, admissions, etc. The chaplain was the last agenda item called “Patient Experience.” She presented the story above and people were clearly moved. Then she explained that I just happened to be in the building.

Beshert. She called me forward. 300 people stood up and applauded.

Now there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. I choked out the story about the pink fire trucks which had been omitted in the chaplain’s remarks. I thanked them for their commitment to patient experience and going above and beyond.

Beshert? This was my father’s birthday. He had been a Northwestern Medical professor. When I was a little girl I had dreamed of being a medical school professor just like him. I loved to go with him to Northwestern, downtown, and listen to him lecture. Here I was, in a Northwestern lecture hall doing precisely that. On a topic that would have been so very foreign to him. However, he never liked the idea of my being a rabbi. It didn’t fit with his rational, scientific brain. Here were medical professionals who understood the very real connection between the spiritual and the medical. Between mind, body and spirit. And then getting applauded for my “out-of-the-box” creative thinking. Of making a difference in one patient’s life–and the life of her family. When we set out to support our patient, we didn’t do it looking for applause. We did it because we were in the right place at the right time and did the right thing. I would do it again.

As I right this, Frank Sinatra is playing in the background at Starbucks. My father’s favorite. And I cry again.