You are my beloved, says G-d. Yet for many of us it is so hard to believe that G-d can love us. That was true for me. As a victim of a violent crime I thought that I wasn’t loveable anymore. That I was somehow “damaged goods.” But then I had an aha moment. The first two attributes are Adonai, Adonai, The Lord, The Lord. But the rabbis teach that there are no extra words in the Torah. Usually this attribute is seen as G-d loving the sinner before the sin and loving the sinner after the sin. What if, it meant that G-d loved me before the attack and after the attack? Was it even possible? It just might be.

Our next blogger is Zahava Raz, the cheerful, welcoming voice of Congregation Kneseth Israel. Her thinking was quite similar. G-d is the G-d of love. Why wouldn’t we want to know this G-d?

After looking at the list of 13 attributes of God, the question came to me, “who wouldn’t want to know this God of Israel, who is so wonderful, so personable, so abundant in goodness and forgiveness, showing compassion to a thousand generations, pardoning sin and full of truth?

It struck me how much this God loves us.  How much He desires us to know Him. Why on earth shouldn’t we run to Him and stay with Him on a daily basis and just get to know Him? This is why the Israelites fell on their faces before Him in worship.  They saw, knew and felt that powerful presence.

Yet we do not come close.  We stray far from Him. We think we cannot enter into a relationship because He is God.  Yet Abraham did, Moses did, David did, and all the prophets did.  We can too.

He must be real to us, we must be like walking Torah’s, full of all those attributes. These attributes should be ingrained in our personalities for peace to come on earth.

Forgiveness needs to be a part of our lives.   If we do not forgive, sickness comes, webecome bitter and harbor grudges.  We should imitate God – we should be slow to anger and showing much compassion towards one another.  And if another injures us, we should pardon them in love.

God is our example.  And He wants to know us as His children . We  should be that close to Him.  And have confidence to come to Him with trust, and not fear.

When the Israelites were wandering in the desert they received a double portion of manna on Friday because they could not collect it on Shabbat. Manna comes from the Hebrew word for gift. Manna was a gift from G-d that fell out of the heavens. When we talk about creating holy spaces we offer gifts. What are the gifts that you bring?

Debbie Friedman, of blessed memory wrote lyrics about our gifts this way:
These are the gifts that we bring
that we may build a holy place.

This is the spirit that we bring
that we may build a holy place.

We will bring all the goodness
that comes from our hearts

And the spirit of God will dwell within…..
These are the colors of our dreams
we bring to make a holy place.

This is the weaving of our lives
we bring to make a holy place.

We will bring all the goodness
that comes from our hearts

And the spirit of love will dwell within…..
These are the prayers that we bring
that we may make a holy place.

These are the visions that we seek
that we may build this holy place.

Let our promise forever be strong,
let our souls rise together in song,

That the spirit of God
and the spirit of love,
Shechinah,
will dwell within.

In her lyrics the gifts we offer are not monetary. Those help to be sure. These gifts are from the heart.

Shabbat is both holy time and holy space. It too is a gift. Like the old Pepsi commercial it is the pause that refreshes. It is the break from the mundane. Time we can spend with God, our families, our communities. May each of you find that holy space, that holy place, that holy time during this weekend. May each of you find a crevice in the rock where you can experience God’s presence. It maybe in the synagogue. It may be standing by the ocean or a pond or a lake. It maybe sleeping in a hamrock, gently rocked by a summer breeze. It maybe in an actual crevice on top of a mountain. But find that space to know that you are loved. That would be a good Shabbat gift. Shabbat shalom.

Elul 4
The 10 Commandments were a gift, a sign that G-d loves us. The knowledge of the 13 Attributes was another gift. Standing at Sinai we created holy space, holy time. Mount Sinia was G-d’s holy place. The mishkan, the Tabernacle, was holy space. The Temple and the Holy of Holies were holy spaces. Our homes are called mikdash m’eat, little sanctuaries, little holy spaces. Our next guest blogger, Rabbi Linda Shriner Cahn writes poetically of healing, repairing and tikkun. She creates holy space.

God’s Holy Place – Tikkun Leah
Blessings showered upon me
Over and over
Who am I that these gifts are mine
The road is neither straight nor easy,
but it is filled with love and laughter.
Each moment a blessing,
unique in its gift.
Each moment a gem,
to be treasured and valued
Each day more revealed…
Purpose and meaning clear a path
Gratitude abounds
So many gifts
A holy place – God’s Holy Place made real

Rabbi Linda Shriner Cahn is the rabbi of Tehila in Riverdale, NY. A graduate of the Academy for Jewish Religion, she has been my teacher, my chevruta partner, my classmate, my friend. Who else would I stay up late nights studying codes with or sharing the joys and worries of raising children.

How do we create holy space today? What makes time sacred? How do we appreciate these gifts that are ours?

Elul 3
Despite Moses’ anger, real violent anger upon seeing the Israelites dancing around the calf, Moses continues to lead the people and advocate on their behalf. He even pleads with God for God’s forgiveness on behalf of the Israelites. He shows real leadership in the face of adversity and rejection when he defends the Israelites. God agrees, forgives the people and tells Moses to return and to continue to lead. There are many styles of leadership. What do you look for in a leader? I believe that everyone has the potential to be a leader. Everyone can answer G-d’s call with the word of Abraham, Moses, Jeremiah, Isaiah. Hinini, Here am I. None of our patriarchs, matriarchs, prophets were perfect and they all doubted their abilities. What style of leader are you—director, coach, collaborative, hierarchical? What leadership traits do you have? How can you continue to lead in the face of adversity, criticism or rejection?

Before Moses went back up the mountain, he had been angry, really angry and he smashed the first set of tablets of the Ten Commandments, the Ten Sayings. There are many interpretations of why he does this. Some say that Moses lost all patience with the Israelites who had demonstrated by dancing around the Golden Calf that they are unworthy of God’s covenant. Or, just as the tablets are broken, so too is Moses, a broken, discouraged and angry man. He is all alone, cut off from the people he is leading. Others say he protected the people. By smashing the tablets before the people heard the commandments, they could not be responsible. Despite his visible anger, and G-d’s anger, the most amazing thing happened. Moses got to experience the Divine Presence and understand G-d’s attributes. He could understand who G-d is:

The Lord! The Lord! A God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity, transgression and sin, yet He does not remit all punishment, but visits the iniquity of the fathers upon children and children’s children upon the third and fourth generation.

How wonderful and how hard to understand the depth of this. How do you count to 13. The rabbis, in fact puzzle over it. I am not sure that ultimately it matters. What does matter is that G-d IS compassionate and gracious, abounding in love. G-d is also slow to anger. What does that mean? What does that mean in terms of how we as individual people handle our own anger? Moses got angry. So angry he smashed the tablets. G-d got angry and flooded the world, destroyed Sodom and Gemorah and is threatening to cut of the Israelites right there. Moses, despite his anger, pleads for them.

Our first guest blogger, Rabbi Peg Kershenbaum teaches us:

However you count these 13 attributes, you’re helping God to count to 10. There are certainly times during the 40 years wandering that some of the traits seem to be in eclipse from the point of view of the Children of Israel. Of course, there are at least as many times when they (we!) were rather provoking. There is a tradition (reported in Rosh haShanah 17b) that if ever we should need forgiveness, we should recite these traits in order before God and God will forgive. Well, not “recite,” but rather “do” them in order.

Here’s how I understand this tradition. When I, wearying of the stubbornness that keeps me from admitting that I’ve slipped from the path I’d hoped to be following by this time of life, finally need motivation to drop the pretenses and get on with finding the wherewithal with which to turn, I read these attributes to remind myself of how I’d like to be. Of course a mere human cannot “do” all these things. But, oh! I really do want to be merciful–not filled with harshness and suspicion. It galls me that I haven’t remembered to thank all the people who have been kind, or picked up the phone to say how much I enjoyed the party you invited me to. I used to think of myself as patient, but there’s no self-deception that can disguise the fact that I’m on a much shorter fuse than I used to be. Abundant in goodness? There are days that I’ve settled for not actively nasty! And there have been times when truth was more of a bludgeon than the delicate instrument it should be.
Recently, after being plagued by neighborhood woes, I suddenly got very tired of being angry, outraged and insulted. Like Beruriah, I counseled myself to pray for my antagonists to change (rather than go up in smoke liberally scored with stick-pins!) I was quite surprised when I began to see them as fellow humans who were just missing the mark, not thorns in my side. As I calmed down and began to think of them almost fondly again, I think I even felt some of the other traits give themselves a shake. Getting those vexing thoughts out of my head and heart and mouth felt good! Now, if I could start at the beginning of the list (following one line of interpretation) I might give some of the people a “pass” before they start in on me again, and I could let go of the insults after they’ve been flung. You get the picture.
So, if I say these attributes aloud, I buy myself some time to calm down, to reflect on actions that I’m not proud of and to remind myself of my better nature. Perhaps in awakening those regrets and motivating myself to change I also call on God to help get me the rest of the way.

Rabbi Peg Kershenbaum is the rabbi of Congregation B’nai Harim in the Pocanos. She also is linguist and a classics major working on a dictionary of Greek, Latin, Hebrew, with my thesis advisor, Rabbi Bernard M. Zlotowitz. At Rabbi Zlotowitz’s request she helped edit and proofread my thesis on the 13 Attributes. She was my presenter at ordination and is a signer on my smicha document.

Tonight is Rosh Hodesh Elul. The beginning of the new month preceding the new year. It is a time of reflection, of introspection, of review and renewal. It is said that on the first of Elul, Moses climbed back up Mount Sinai, to receive the 10 Commandments a second time. He received much more than that. He would have a very intimate encounter with the Divine. But on this very first day of Elul, Moses was scared, exhausted and more than a little angry. He seeks some Divine reassurance from G-d—and he gets it. It is G-d who will go before him and lighten his burden, giving him rest. What does it mean to you, to have G-d lighten your burden. What does it mean to rest. What would you give up carrying?

This is an auspicious time. Tonight we begin a project of looking at the 13 Attributes of the Divine, those very soul-traits that Moses heard, felt, experienced when he was back on that mountain top. I have asked many of you to wrestle with this text. What does it mean to you? How do they speak to you?

Tonight a small group of us met at Congregation Kneseth Israel. We talked about Rosh Hodesh. How the women did not give up their gold for the golden calf and so the women have this half-holiday just for women. We talked about whether there is still a difference between women’s spirituality and men’s. We looked at several books aimed at helping us prepare for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Each person selected something to read to the group. One had us puzzling. We all decided we needed to do more thinking about it. Neshama Carlebach in Dr. Ron Wolfson’s book, the Seven Questions You’re Asked in Heaven asks, “Did you betray who you are or did you do what you hoped.” Wow! Such a big question. That is what Elul is for, wrestling with the tough stuff, ahead of asking to be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life.

During the next 40 days we will go on a journey, a journey together to our deepest most selves. Come journey with me. Be assured by G-d that G-d will give you rest. The rabbis teach that the word Elul, the name of this month means search in Aramaic. We will search together. It also is an a acronym for Ani L’Doi V’Dodi Li. I am my Beloved and my Beloved is Mine. Come with me and experience the G-d who calls us Beloved. Then we will be ready to greet Rosh Hashanah, the New Year, living a life that matters.

“Your mother wears army boots!’ This is the way I started the conversation at Congregation Kneseth Israel this past Shabbat. I wasn’t even sure I could say it outloud. And while, this was the curse that was most frequently shouted, hurled on my playground growing up, I am not sure it is any more. Why is it a curse? Because army boots aren’t feminine, as one of my members pointed out. On the other hand, now we have women who actively serve in the military and maybe it is now a blessing!

This week’s portion, was about blessings and curses. Ultimately the litany concludes with this powerful thought, “See I have set before you today a blessing and a curse. Choose life, that you may live.”

In two weeks, again we will read a series of blessings and curses. The tradition is to read the curses quickly and in a whisper, as if merely saying them out loud will cause them to happen to each one of us. Do we really think that is how curses work?

In four weeks, we will again stand here and sing Avinu Malkenu, the haunting litany that is central to the High Holidays. There is lots to say about Avinu Malkenu, but most of that will wait too. For now, know that it is an ancient prayer that asks for G-d’s blessings in the case of drought. Rabbi Akiva said it and his prayer was answered. Now we don’t seem to have a drought here in Elgin—but there are plenty of places around the globe that do. Do we assume that if a place is undergoing a drought it is because people weren’t praying hard enough? Hardly.

Avinu Malkenu is not said on Shabbat, because we don’t ask G-d for things on Shabbat. Even G-d gets to rest.

Choose life that you may live. How do we choose life? Who would choose curses over blessings? One of the things I am enjoying most about the congregation is that now people are willing to talk about these things and to think deeply. Even more so, they seem to be looking forward to what others are saying and are really listening, deeply listening. This enriches all of our understanding. It energizes me and it is like watching holy sparks fly.

What is the blessing of choosing life? Remaining positive. Acting in this life to assure a place in the world to come. Choosing a life that matters so that our actions mirror what our mouths are saying. Making the world a better place. As someone said, it is sort of like the Nike commercial. You do it. You just do it. We have a choice or more accurately as was pointed out, a series of choices. Little ones lead to bigger ones—in either direction. Sometimes in fact we have too many choices—and it is not just about Chinese food or Mexican food, or which color shirt to wear. If we make enough of the right choices, then we are in fact choosing life and a life that matters.

But sometimes, people choose death. Those people maybe struggling with mental illness or severe, debilitating pain. Or sometimes it is like Pharaoh whose heart G-d hardened. Each choice he made brought him closer to the last plague the death of the first done. Who would choose death over life? So maybe this is about choosing a life that matters. We talked a little about that last week. That G-d requires of us to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with our G-d. Or in last week’s formulation, to fear (or revere G-d) to walk with G-d and to love G-d. That is the life we are choosing. By choosing that, then we receive G-d’s blessings.

This week’s portion gives us a blueprint for leading that meaningful life. It talks about the smita year, the seventh year when all the debts are cancelled and the land lays fallow. As Eitz Hayyim tells us, “Much of this chapter is concerned with ensuring that there not emerge in Israel a permanent underclass—persons unable to lift themselves out of poverty. Such a condition would be unfair to human beings, fashioned in the image of G-d and dangerous to society as a breading ground for lawlessness and irresponsibility.”

The first step is cancelling debts in the seventh year. Wow. This is what Rabbi Arthur Green might call Radical Judaism. The Kleins have had an interesting summer, shopping for housing. While we had read about the housing crisis in America and even know friends who lost homes in the economic downturn, it did not make much sense until we started looking at property. I think it has been like looking at the underbelly of the beast. And while the Kleins may benefit, I wonder about a child named Daniel whose home we may soon occupy. His stick picture self-portrait is colored in black crayon on the dry wall in the basemet, his height in 2002 and then again in 2010 is duly recorded by a proud parent. A black crayon dropped at the entrance to the garage. What happened to Daniel? Where is he now? Do we, as a society, have an obligation to Daniel? This portion would suggest yes!

The portion promises that if we forgive debts, there will be no needy among you. This strikes me as some precursor to Maslow’s pyramid. If you have housing, clothes, food, love, security, if you are not poor; then you can work on higher level issues. If there are no needy among you, then G-d will bless you. HOWEVER, and here is what made me incredibly sad. If there are needy people among you, and the text tells us there will always be, “For there will never cease to be needy ones in your land, which is why I command you to open your hand to the poor and the needy kinsmen of your land.” Ours is not to finish the task, neither are we free to ignore it, according to Pirke Avot. The issues existed in Biblical times. They are still very real today.

Thank G-d we have the haftarah as a balance. Isaiah teaches, Ho, all who are thirty, come for water, even if you have no money. Come buy food and eat. Buy food without money. Wine and milk without cost. Why do you spend money what is not bread, Your earnings for what does not satisfy….

So the question becomes what satisfies? What is a life that matters? Do we need all the things that our materialistic culture buys? Or should we be spending some of it on other things?

Dr. Ron Wolfson wrote an interesting book, the Seven Questions You’re Asked in Heaven. Now we Jews don’t have nearly as well formed an idea of what heaven might be like so the title of this book intrigued me. We talk about Gan Eden, the Garden of Eden, as a type of Paradise (both Hebrew phrases). We talk about olam ha’ba, the world to come. But we don’t dwell on what that world will be like. We talk about the reward being in this world, not the next world. And yet, we have a strong tradition of stories about the next world.
As I child, I loved the stories of Zlateh the Goat, an IB Singer collection illustrated by Maurice Sendek. The first story was called, A Fool’s Paradise.” There is the famous story of Zusiya Lying on his death bed, Reb Zusya was very upset and crying, tears streaming down his face.
His students asked with great concern, “Reb Zusya, why are you upset? Why are you crying? Are you afraid when you die you will be asked why you were not more like Moses?”
Reb Zusya replied, “I am not afraid that the Holy One will ask me ‘Zusya, why were you not more like Moses?’ Rather, I fear that the Holy One will say, ‘Zusya, why were you not more like Zusya?’”

We don’t have to be Zusya. We don’t have to be Moses. We just have to be ourselves, working for the good of all, as this portion suggests, for the widow, the orphan, the stranger. If we celebrate the holidays then we will see G-d, we will receive G-d’s blessing and know unlimited joy. We don’t have to finish the tasks, but we are not free to ignore them. In the next few weeks we will look more at this question of what is a life that matters.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why are we here. Oh, yes, you are thinking, that is a BIG question. And it is. Each of us comes here to synagogue for different reasons I am sure. But I am talking about an even bigger question. Why are we here? Not just why are we here in this synagogue, or in Elgin, or in Illinois, in the United States. Why are we here on this earth? Why do we matter? What meaning do our lives have?

Our Torah portion starts to answer it. “And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 10:12

Sounds easy no? Fear G-d. Walk in G-d’s ways. Love G-d. But I am not sure that I want to fear G-d. I am not sure that I want to be scared of G-d. So what does fear mean in this sense? It is something my husband and I argue about. Other translations use “Revere G-d.” Does that help us? It seems to me that it is softer, kinder, gentler.

It is not just G-d we are told to fear. In the 10 Commandments we are told to honor our fathers and our mothers. But in Leviticus, we are told to fear our mothers and our fathers. The rabbis ask why the verse changes the order and the verb. What do we learn from this? They answer that typically it is the father who does the discipline. How many of us heard or have even used the phrase, “Just wait until your father gets home.” That inculcates a natural fear of children of their fathers. An old Yiddish proverb teaches that G-d couldn’t be everywhere so G-d created mothers. Did G-d create mothers so that we should be afraid of them or because they provide something else? It is an interesting question. Need we be so bound to these typical gender roles? Or by reversing the verse did G-d already say the gender roles don’t make much sense? I am sure that I don’t have the answer but it is interesting to wrestle with.

The phrase in our text is Yirat Hashamayim. Fear of the heavens literally. It carries with it a sense of awe, that mysterium tremendum. Perhaps we overuse the word awesome. It was awesome. That meaning I think means something is cool, inspiring, amazing. Struck by profound marvel and beauty. Standing at the shore of the ocean and watching the waves during a storm, standing on a mountain top can create that sense of awe. However, in that construction I don’t hear the sense of fear.

But sometimes I am afraid. Probably we all are. Over and over again the tradition teaches us to be not afraid. The last verse of Adon Olam says, “Into G-d’s hand I commit my spirit. When I sleep and when I wake. And with my spirit, my body, The Lord is with me. I shall not fear.” Similarly Psalm 121 reassures us that “The Guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps.” Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav teaches, “All the world is a narrow bridge. The central thing is to not be afraid.” That is because G-d is with us.

In Proverbs we are given a sense of what a good woman is, a woman of valor. At the very end it says, “a woman who fears (or reveres) G-d shall be praised. So this is the ideal, a woman who fears the Lord. In this case fear or reverence is good.
This verse gave us three things—fear G-d, walk with G-d and love G-d. What about “walk with G-d.” How can we walk with G-d? Sifre Eikev teaches us “To walk in God’s ways” (Deuteronomy 11:22). These are the ways of the Holy One: “gracious and compassionate, patient, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, assuring love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin, and granting pardon.” (Exodus 34:6). All who are called in God’s name will survive.(Joel 3:5) How is it possible for a person to be called by God’s name? Rather, God is called “merciful”—so too, you should be merciful. God is called “gracious” as it says, “God, merciful and gracious” (Psalms 145:8)—so too, you should be gracious and give gifts for nothing. God is called “just” as it says, “For God is righteous and loves righteousness” (Psalms 11:7)—so too, you should be just.” God is called “merciful”: “For I am merciful, says the Lord.” (Jeremiah 3:12) so too you be merciful. That is why it is said, “And it shall come to pass that all who are called in God’s name will survive.” This means that just as God is gracious, compassionate, and forgiving, you too must be gracious, compassionate, and forgiving. [Translation by Rabbi Jill Jacobs]”

It is not so much that we are walking in G-d’s ways, it is that we are imitating G-d. How do we imitate G-d? The Talmud in Sotah 14a asks this very question, What is the meaning of the verse, “You shall walk after the Lord your G-d?” Is it, then, possible for a human being to walk after the Divine, which is described as a “devouring fire”? But the meaning is to follow the attributes of the Holy One. G-d clothes the naked, as it is written: “And G-d made for Adam and for his wife coats of skin, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21); so should you, too, clothe the naked. G-d visits the sick, as it is written: “And G-d appeared to him by the Oaks of Mamre”; so should you, too, visit the sick. G-d comforts mourners, as it is written: “And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that G-d blessed Isaac his son” (Genesis 25:11); so should you, too, comfort mourners. G-d buries the dead, as it is written: “And He buried him in the valley” (Deuteronomy 34:6); so should you, too, bury the dead.
So this then is what it means to walk with the Divine. It is a social action agenda. Imitate G-d by clothing the naked, visiting the sick, comforting the mourning and burying the dead. That is something I can do. That we can all do. It gives us a recipe for success. It tells us exactly what our purpose is and how we create meaning.
There is another verse that talks about this in almost identical terms. It happens to be my mother’s favorite verse from Micah. “It has been told to you, what is good, and what the LORD requires of you: only to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your G-d. (Micah 6:8).
What is different here? To do justly. To love mercy. And to walk humbly. We’ve spoken about the need to do justly. We need to act righteously. And it balances that with mercy, compassion. Justice without compassion is rarely justice. And it demands that we walk humbly.
I’ve been thinking a lot about humility (see my previous post on Humility Through Mini-Golf). Sometimes this verse gets translated as modestly. Modestly or humbly I think it is about creating the space for G-d to be G-d while maintaining our own space to be who we are. It is about not strutting like a peacock. It is about being in the moment. In doing my reading on humility this week I was struck by this idea that sitting in the same place in shul, something I often tease our regulars about, is actually not a sign of pride and entitlement but a sign of humility. Surprised! I was. “To sit in the same place is to fix yourself to one spot, thereby freeing up all the other space for others to use…Humility is occupying just the right amount of space in life that is appropriate for you, while making space for others.” (Rabbi Alan Morinis) That was one of those Wow moments.
Rabbi Susan Freeman developed a meditation about walking with G-d for the Jewish Healing Center, taking us through the various stages of life. Noah walked with G-d, blameless in his generation. (Genesis 6:9). Abraham walked before G-d and was blameless. (Genesis 17:1). Malachai wonders what is the point. What have we gained by keeping God’s charge, and walking in mourning, before the Lord of Hosts?” (Malachi 3:14). But we are not to fear because we remember the purpose of our journey. As we age, however, the journey and the walking get harder. However, we are comforted by the verse from Ecclesiastes, “Ki holech adam el olamo: For [we set out], we walked to [our] eternal abode.” (Ecclesiastes 12:5). She explains that there is a calm stillness when we stop walking. God is with us, right behind us, as always. Gam ki-elech b’gey tzalmavet lo-ira ra ki-atah imadi: Though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no harm, for You are with me.” (Psalm 23-4)

This walking humbly with G-d leaves space for others and for G-d. It is about an I-Thou relationship. It is about not putting ourselves first.
These two similar verses we have looked at sound almost the same in English but there is one key difference in the Hebrew verbs. In the second verse it says l’derosh, to seek out. This is the verb that is used to describe Rebecca when she went to l’derosh the oracle to see what was happening in her womb. It is the verb that gives us the word midrash, to seek out a deeper meaning in the text. It is what we have done here, l’derosh the meaning, the purpose for our lives.
We are told to love G-d, with all our hearts, with all our souls, with all our might. This is the kind of G-d I can love. One who demands that we do justly, love mercy and walk side by side with G-d, humbly, modestly. This is a G-d that I can discuss when I am at home or on my way, when I lie down and when I rise up. I hope you will join me in this ongoing discussion.

I am working on a new project, the study of mussar. Mussar is a form of Jewish literature that looks at character attributes. Developed in the 19th century by Rabbi Salanter and others, it was about elevating the soul and putting the pieces back together to cause a sense of shlemut, wholeness. It combines spiritual practices of meditation, silence and diary writing. It reminds me of Benjamin Franklin and his journal about his own character where he would work on one attribute a week. He had thirteen of them. (See the connection with the 13 Attributes of the Divine?) http://www.school-for-champions.com/character/franklin_virtues.htm On the list, humility, the first one practitioners of mussar study. He felt he should imitate Jesus and Socrates.
So what about Judaism and humility? Moses was humble. Even as I write that, I am almost chuckling. I remember a Bible exam in rabbinical school. The exam turned on this very phrase about Moses. Was Moses humble, humbled or was humbled. It is an interesting grammatical differential and changes our understanding of Moses completely. The phrase in English is “And the man Moses was very anav (humble), mare than any other men who were upon the face of the earth.” Numbers 12:3.
The point of mussar is to become aware of the character trait, or soul-trait in you as you go about your day. My phrase for the week is “No more than my place. No less than my space.” You reflect on it in the morning and then journal about it at night. I did the assigned reading. Finished a couple of boxes to sort before packing and moving. I was struck by some things in the reading. While humility has the same root as humiliation, it does not mean we are to see ourselves as worthless nothings. We need to see ourselves as others do, without self-aggrandizement or self-loathing. That is hard for me. I go towards either extreme. However the reading continued that we need accurate self-assessment of both strengths and weaknesses. That’s where humility comes in.

Perhaps the most important part for me was about “humility is occupying just the right amount of space in life that it is appropriate for you while making room for others.” Routinely I get told I talk too much, or I talk too much about myself and that can be off-putting. I don’t mean to. And I am actively trying to control it. I think that is what the mystical concept of tzimtzum is. When G-d created the world, G-d had to take a breath, to inhale, so that there was enough room in which the world can exist. So it is with being a rabbi. It is not about me. It is about leaving enough space so that others can thrive in their own spirituality.

As a treat for finishing some of the packing on a gorgeous summer day we went to play mini-golf. Now I bet you are wondering, what is the connection between humility and mini-golf. At some point during the course I missed an easy shot–and I said outloud, “That’s to keep me humble.” I also was just having fun with my family and didn’t feel the need as I have in the past to make it super competitive. It was more fun to cheer each of us on, where we were in our abilities, not worry about first, second and third place finishes. However, I enjoyed getting a hole-in-one even as I realized that it was more luck on that particular hole than any particular skill I possess. Eventually, with enough focus and without some distractions, I wound up winning. I could have gloated. My daughter said I did smirk. So yes, I learned more about humility through mini-golf. I guess this process is working. We will see what else come up organically as I continue to think about humility.

Today is Tu B’av, the 15th of the month of Av on the Hebrew calendar. The moon will be full tonight. In ancient Israel this was the day that young women would go out and try to find a husband. It is a day of great optimism and hope coming after Tisha B’av. It also means that in just two weeks it will Rosh Hodesh Elul, 30 days before Rosh Hashanah. Preparations are well underway at Congregation Kneseth Israel. We have an outline of the services with times, honors to be assigned, music to be sung, sermons to be written. The silver will be polished and the bimah transformed to white. The wall will be open. Chairs will be set up. We know how to do all this. None of this comes without work, hard work.
And yet, there is interior work that needs to be done. One year I spent the 40 days between Rosh Hodesh Elul and Yom Kippur blogging about forgiveness since that is a big part of the season. I had guest bloggers talk about when or how they have seen forgiveness in their professional lives. There were some haunting responses. One in particular, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11 talked about losing a high school classmate on 9/11 and not going to her funeral. Could she forgive herself?

This year I want to try something a little different. After Moses smashed the 10 Commandments, G-d told him to go back up the mountain a second time. Moses did not want to go. Why should he lead this stubborn, stiff-necked people? Who was going to help him? G-d answered that G-d would go with him and lighten his burden and give him rest. Wow! That would have been good enough for me I think. But Moses wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to more deeply understand G-d. He demanded to see G-d face to face. G-d replied that no person can see G-d face to face and live but that G-d would hide Moses in the cleft of the rock and pass before him. In Exodus 34:6-7 we learn about the 13 Attributes of the Divine as G-d passed before Moses and whispered them.

“The Lord, The Lord, God, merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abundant in goodness and truth, showing compassion to a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, transgression and sin”

This is the central part of the slichot service. It is how we Jews ask for forgiveness. But what does it mean? What does it mean that God abounds in lovingkindness or is compassionate, merciful, full of grace. How is that G-d is slow to anger, patient or long-suffering? What does any of this mean to us today? Or was it only for Moses?

I believe it was for all of us. That we need to understand that G-d is a G-d full of love and compassion and that G-d forgives our mistakes. While we can’t really limit G-d, having this list helps our understanding. This was my Bat Mitzvah Torah portion. The reason I became a rabbi. I wrote my rabbinic thesis on these very words. It is a verse that has sustained me for almost (egads!) 40 years!

The midrash teaches us that Moses was on Mount Sinai for 40 days. From Rosh Hodesh Elul to Yom Kippur. For those 40 days we are going to study, discuss, wrestle with maybe even argue about these 13 Attributes. I will be studying mussar with my chevruta partner, Rabbi Steve Peskind. More about this later. Each day, I will post something about one of the 13 Attributes, either something I have written or something you have written. I am hoping we will get as many of you as possible to write something, to wrestle with the text and derive meaning as I have done from it. Send me your writings by August 1st to be included. Pick one attribute, or all of them. Tell us why they are important to you. Include a personal story of how you understand them or what they mean to you. Make it 250-500 words. In this way you will help enrich all our understanding and the celebration of Rosh Hashanah.

Rabbi Margaret Frisch Klein
Congregation Kneseth Israel
330 Division Street
Elgin, IL 60120

www.theengerizerrabbi.org