When I was growing up the question was never where would I be for Passover, the High Holy Days or Chanukah. No, the question was, where would I be for Thanksgiving and the 4th of July. Those American holidays. 4th of July made sense. My mother’s birthday was the 6th of July and my father’s was the 7th. It was a weeklong summer celebration. 

Thanksgiving had its own rhythm. There were always guests. Practicing the mitzvah or welcoming guests that we learn from Abraham and Sarah. If you didn’t have a place to go, you came to our house. That was always fun. My mother often was asked to say “grace” and her choice was always the blessing over the wine. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. She made all of us memorize it. 

So, is Thanksgiving Jewish? Maybe. The concept most certainly is. Based on the Israelites celebration of the harvest festival of Sukkot, the Puritans gathered to give thanks in Plimouth Plantation when they survived that first winter and the harvest was “gotten in”. I have written extensively on Governor William Bradford’s Hebrew manuscripts and his description of that first Thanksgiving in his book, On Plimouth Plantation. The celebration was based on the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. The Puritans definitely saw this land, not yet a country, as the new Israel, the new Jerusalem, a utopian world where they could worship G-d in the way they saw fit. Sometimes, knowing that history has filled me with pride. Other times, it seems, well, complicated. 

This year is one of those complicated years. How do we pray together in an inclusive, non-offensive way with people who may not see G-d the same way or may not even believe in G-d at all? Without losing our own authenticity?  

For more than 30 years I have been involved in planning Interfaith Thanksgiving services. Some years are harder to plan than others. In a planning meeting for this year, in what I thought would be a simple exercise of kids passing a candle and saying, “I am thankful for……..” there were some objections. What if we said, “Thank you for…….” Who is the you? Is that G-d? Could it be misinterpreted? Could someone be offended? I didn’t think so but it was hotly discussed. It actually showed a great deal of sensitivity and compassion on the part of the person who initially raised the question. I am grateful for that. 

I was also recently asked to attend an Interfaith Prayer Breakfast. Later I was actually asked to speak to this same question at that very breakfast. The organizer feels as an Evangelical Christian he can only pray in Jesus’s name but has come to realize that might be offensive to non-Christians. Can we pray at all together? My answer was yes. But it is complicated. This is what I said. 

“If your understanding of G-d includes Jesus, then pray that way. That is your understanding of the One G-d. The Muslim community has 99 names for G-d. In my tradition, we have many names for G-d. Even many understandings. One of our prayers, that praises G-d for our ancestors, says the G-d of Abraham and the G-d of Isaac and the G-d of Jacob. More recently we have added the matriarchs too. English teachers get upset. Too many repeated words. But the rabbis 2000 years ago, in the time of Jesus, taught that each patriarch and each matriarch had their own way of understanding G-d. And their own way of praying. Abraham got up early in the morning. Isaac meditated in a field. Jacob put a rock under his head for pillow. Each of those was a prayer. Jesus left us examples of prayer—very Jewish I might add. The Lord’s Prayer, beginning, Our Father who art in heaven, is a very Jewish prayer and since Jesus himself is praying, he doesn’t end it “in Jesus’s name, Amen.” Lastly I need you to understand that in this rising time of anti-semitism, for thousands of years Jews have been killed in Jesus’s name so some of my people may be uncomfortable at best.” 

This year is complicated because there have been arguments to once again to call this a Christian nation. While the Puritans most certainly came to this land for religious freedom, they did not found a Chrisitan nation. The earlier settlers were not comfortable with differing expressions of Christianity, kicking Roger Williams out of Massachusetts who then founded Rhode Island, for example. However. our Founding Fathers made sure to include freedom of religion in the Bill of Rights. Some of that language was from Alexander Hamilton and some from George Washington himself, in his letter to the Jewish community of Newport RI. 

This past week I attended the Academy for Jewish Religion annual retreat. This year was on mindfulness. Mindfulness is an important component of spirituality. It is about living with intentionality. It is about noticing your thoughts and emotions and not ignoring them. It is about prayer. It has become all the rage, even in places like corporate America and places like Weight Watchers.  

Recently, I spoke about finding G-d. Jacob found G-d in his dreams, when he was alone with nothing more than a stone for his pillow. In my adult Hebrew class we looked at Jeremiah 29. There was a verb question that might change the meaning of verse 14 in its entirety. It either says, God will let himself be found. OR G-d will be found. It is a fascinating discussion. A little like a game of hide and seek. 

Where then do I find G-d? How do I pray? I find G-d in exactly this kind of intellectual debate. In the quiet stillness of the late night or early morning. In being outdoors in nature. In my own sanctuary saying prayers that were created 2000 years ago or in the words that are being created right now. I find G-d in doing G-d’s work to make this world a better place, in acts of tikkun olam, that I do with my clergy friends and colleagues. 

I pray this Thanksgiving: 

For gratitude
For this great nation.
For signs of Your creation, morning. Noon and night.
For people who work together to make this world a better place
Who partner with you to repair this earth. 

For courage
To do difficult thing
To speak with civility and clarity
To work with those who are difficult
To take on new challenges
To be a force for good. 

For strength
To turn the darkness into light
To feed the hungry
To clothe the naked
To house the homeless
To cure the sick 

For hope
To learn to smile and laugh
To sing
To pray
To rest
To live with kindness and compassion 

May each of you have a Thanksgiving filled with gratitude and meaning and a hide and seek game with G-d.

“There are no atheists in foxholes.” Whether this is true or not, I cannot say. I can’t even tell you, for sure, the origin of it. Many people try to take claim for it. It seems to come from somewhere during World War II.  

However, it seems to be an important thing to discuss when we look at this week’s portion. Jacob is fleeing home, running away from Esau who has threatened to murder him. He pauses to rest for the night. Puts a stone for a pillow under his head and he falls asleep. Then he has a dream.  

Machalim are ascending and descending a stairway or a ladder. Malachim—angels or messengers.  

“Surely G-d is in this place and I knew it not.” 

Where do we find G-d? Where do we encounter G-d? One said in this very sanctuary. Others say at their parent’s grave or during a crisis. Some said while hiking in the mountains or walking by the ocean. Some say in a large group—praying together or at a large concert or even at a football game. Some would say in Israel. Maybe in Jerusalem. Others say anytime any place.  

Sometimes that encounter happens late at night or in the wee small hours of the morning. Others find G-d alone. 

And maybe, just maybe in a foxhole. Which would provide that sense of crisis. Fear can be a driver for finding G-d.  

This portion has a lot to say about G-d. Recently I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine. She remembered from her Hebrew School days that Abraham discovered that there is only one G-d. But she wasn’t sure why that is important. One of our members of blessed memory used to say that our whole purpose in life is to praise G-d. Our early part of the service supports this with quotes like, “that I might sing Your praise unceasingly” (Psalm 30),“Let every breath of life praise G-d, Halleluyah!” (Psalm 150) and “The beath of all that lives praises You, Adonai our G-d.” (Nishmat Kol Chai) 

So this is our objective. This is part of how we find meaning.  

One G-d might mean that no G-d is better than another, reducing competition. My G-d is better than your G-d. We see this answer We see that in Michamocha/Ain Kamocha. Who is Like, O G-d? No One is like You. Yet wars continue to be fought over our global understanding of the one true G-d. 

One answer I received from a former student, now teaching Hebrew School herself: “Hashem as one G-d remained and remains consistent and unchanging in terms of who created what, had what powers etc. In that sense it was an act of rebellion in maintaining communal/tribal identity in a turbulent, violent, imperialistic world. It’s part of what makes Ancient Israelites (and Jews throughout history) different.” 

Not only does Jacob have an encounter with the Divine but others do as well.  

Later, in the portion, in a bookend moment, Laban has an encounter with G-d in another dream sequence: 

“But God appeared to Laban the Aramean in a dream by night and said to him, “Beware of attempting anything with Jacob, good or bad.” 

Sometimes, people don’t have faith. Sometimes those crisis moments or those moments of suffering push people the other direction. In fact, there is a whole organization called “Atheists in Foxholes.” According to Psychology Today, “Some estimates suggest that 7 percent of our enlisted men and women today are atheists….Some people in scary, dangerous, or threatening situations can and sometimes do lose their religious faith. For some people, the horrors they witness or the suffering they endure can render belief in an all-powerful, all-loving deity.” unsustainable.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-secular-life/202106/are-there-atheists-in-foxholes  

One thing we have is  a sacred obligation, is to work with our veterans who have seen frequently unspeakable things, to make sure they are not suffering. We need to work to heal PTSD and to prevent the ongoing suicides of our military veterans. “The suicide rate among active duty service members in the US military increased by 41.4% in the five years from 2015 to 2020, according to data provided in the annual report from the Department of Defense on suicide in the military.” https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/30/politics/military-suicide-report/index.html  There is a little bit of good news. While the suicide rate of US Veterans is still higher than the general US adult population in 2019, the last year the numbers are available for, there was a drop in percentage. https://blogs.va.gov/VAntage/94358/2021-national-veteran-suicide-prevention-annual-report-shows-decrease-in-veteran-suicides/ Nonetheless, the rate remains too high. In the same period, 17 veterans took their own lives each and every day. 30,000 US Veterans have taken their own lives since September 11, 2001, more than died in Afghanistan https://www.wbur.org/cognoscenti/2021/09/28/veterans-suicide-prevention-afghanistan-anna-richardson-sarah-roxburgh .  

 In our portion, we need to ask about Rachel. Rachel isn’t quite convinced that G-d is going to protect her, so she steals her father’s idols to go on the journey with her. Laban, himself comes looking for them. She devises a unique way to protect them. 

Our portion ends with one more example of finding G-d.  

Jacob went on his way, and angels of God encountered him.  

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יַעֲקֹב֙ כַּאֲשֶׁ֣ר רָאָ֔ם מַחֲנֵ֥ה אֱלֹהִ֖ים זֶ֑ה וַיִּקְרָ֛א שֵֽׁם־הַמָּק֥וֹם הַה֖וּא מַֽחֲנָֽיִם׃ {פ}
When he saw them, Jacob said, “This is God’s camp.” So he named that place Mahanaim. 

My hope is that this sanctuary, and our sanctuaries at home are G-d’s camp. This is G-d’s camp. Right here. Whether you are in the room or in the sanctuary of your home. It is a place we camp and we encounter G-d.  Ma Tovu Ohalecha Ya’akov. Mishkenotecha, Yisrael. How lovely are our tents,  our dwelling places O Israel, our sanctuaries O Israel.  

As we head into Chanukah, we learn that the world Chanukah so often translated as Dedication, can also be split into two words, Chanu, Coh, Thus they camped. Here we camp. Providing a space, a makom to encounter G-d. Our job is to continue to make this a place, a makom,  a safe place to encounter G-d  and to praise G-d’s holy name. 

After the Prayer for our Country 

A prayer for Veteran’s Day.  

God of compassion,
God of dignity and strength,
Watch over the veterans of the United States
In recognition of their loyal service to our nation.
Bless them with wholeness and love.
Shelter them.
Heal their wounds,
Comfort their hearts.
Grant them peace.
God of justice and truth,
Rock of our lives,
Bless our veterans,
These men and women of courage and valor,
With a deep and abiding understanding
Of our profound gratitude.
Protect them and their families from loneliness and want.
Grant them lives of joy and bounty.
May their dedication and honor
Be remembered as a blessing
From generation to generation.
Blessed are You,
Protector and Redeemer,
Our Shield and our Stronghold. 

(Alden Solovy) 

Before Kaddish: 

THE YOUNG DEAD SOLDIERS DO NOT SPEAK
Nevertheless they are heard in the still houses: who has not heard them?
They have a silence that speaks for them at night and when the clock counts.
They say, We were young. We have died. Remember us.
They say, We have done what we could but until it is finished it is not done.
They say, We have given our lives but until it is finished no one can know what our lives gave.
They say, Our deaths are not ours: they are yours: they will mean what you make them.
They say, Whether our lives and our deaths were for peace and a new hope or for nothing we cannot say: it is you who must say this.
They say, We leave you our deaths: give them their meaning: give them an end to the war and a true peace: give them a victory that ends the war and a peace afterwards: give them their meaning.
We were young, they say. We have died. Remember us. 

Archibald MacLeish

In this season of gratitude, we spoke last night about ethical wills and blessings.  

 Isaac calls his son Esau, his favored one, the one he loves, the redhaired one (yesterday was redhead day, which by the way is a genetic trait one that is dying out), the one who hunts his beloved game, and says that he is to hunt and prepare some game and then he will bless him. He wants to give his son a blessing. It is a form of an ethical will, the values that Isaac wants to pass down to his son. It is his legacy.  

Esau departs for his task. Jacob, at Rebecca’s urging, slips in and tricks Isaac and receives the blessing that Isaac had intended to give to Esau.  

Esau comes back and wails “do you have no blessing for me.” It is a painful chapter. Isaac does bless him, but it sounds more like a curse.  

It is painful from the beginning. I want to look carefully at that language.  

“When Isaac was old and his eyes were too dim to see, he called his older son Esau and said to him, “My son.” He answered, “Here I am.” 

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֵלָיו֙ בְּנִ֔י וַיֹּ֥אמֶר אֵלָ֖יו הִנֵּֽנִי׃ 

Do you hear an echo here? It is exactly the words that Abraham and Isaac exchanged when they were walking up the mountain. The generational trauma seems to continue. Isaac who is almost sacrificed at the hand of his father, gets tricked and gives the wrong blessing to Esau. Isaac, conditioned by his own father, misses the moment. In our High Holiday liturgy we learn the words that G-d taught Moses, Adonai, Adonai, El Rachum v’chanun….The Lord, the Lord G-d is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and patient, full of lovingkindnes and truth, extending kindness to the 1000th generation and forgiving iniquity, transgression and sin, But there is a back half of that sentence that we don’t say in our liturgy. “yet God does not remit all punishment, but visits the iniquity of parents upon children and children’s children, upon the third and fourth generations.” Are we seeing evidence of that here? Cain and Abel, Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau and soon to come Joseph and his brothers. Sins passed down generation to generation? 

As Rabbi Marc Katz, said, “The Torah is not a parenting manual.” Our patriarchs and matriarchs are not perfect people. Being perfect is not the object. Perhaps, what we learn from our ancestors is what not to do. We should not favor one child over another. And we should learn to break the cycle.  

It should be noted that when we bless our children on Shabbat evening, we bless our girls in the names of our matriarchs, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah. But the boys are blessed not in the names of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob but the grandchildren, Maneseh and Ephraim.  

Is there only one blessing for each person? I don’t think so.  

Harold Kushner in his book, How Good Do We Have to Be, says that one of the issues with sibling rivalry, exhibited right here, is that idea that “Mom loved you best.” But the secret is that “love is not like a bank account that is depleted when it is given away.  It is rather like a muscle–the more it is exercised, the more it can be used.  And the gift of that blessing–especially for parents with small children–can help to bridge the gap between you and your children, between your children, and between us and the One we call Avinu, the One we call our Parent.” 

Last night we looked at blessings and ethical wills. Often when I do a funeral someone says it would have been so nice for the person to hear what was said about them before they die. We don’t always get that chance. So let’s try it here. The rabbis of the Talmud teach that we should give 100 blessings a day. This is how we demonstrate that there is enough love to go around.  

Sometimes we have a hard time asking for the blessing we need. What blessing do you need?  I need strength and patience.  

I started last night with Joy. Joy was a blessing when she designed a beautiful sign in her lovely calligraphy and went and put it on the synagogue door. Her enthusiasm and her willingness to help and to learn is a blessing.  

Other blessings that were mentioned: 

• Watching a couple dance during the Torah service 
• People showing up, making sure that there is always a minyan 
• Pitching in to lead parts of the service 
• Beautiful Torah and haftarah reading 
• Always having an encouraging word for someone 
• Being able to find any literature reference as a retired librarian during Torah Study 
• Always being willing to help with technology
• Always making sure that people are welcomed.

At least one unique blessing for every person present.

There is enough love and enough blessings to go around. May you find your blessing and may you give a blessing, at this season of thanksgiving and always. 

Toldot: Genesis 25:19-28:9 

Parsha Summary:
After the three deaths in last week’s portion, Sarah, Abraham and Ishmael, this is about the birth of Jacob and Esau.  Rebecca was barren and Isaac prayed to G-d.  The text tells us that Isaac was 40 when he married Rebecca and 60 when she finally gave birth. That is a long period of infertility, something women still struggle with today. What do we make of these fantastical numbers in the book of Genesis. Was Sarah really 90 when she gave birth? Isaac really 60? Does it matter? 

Her pregnancy is not easy and she wonders why she even exists. She goes to “inquire” of G-d what is going on. G-d responds  that there are two nations in her womb and the younger will serve the older foreshadowing much of what is to come. Esau is born first, hairy and red. Jacob, meaning heel comes out next, holding onto Esau. Isaac preferred Esau and Rebecca preferred Jacob. Esau trades his “first born” birthright for a pot of lentil stew.  

There is an interlude repeated almost verbatim the scene with Abraham and Sarah,  with Abimelech, Kind of the Philistines. Is Rebecca Isaac’s sister or his wife? Is this an early #MeToo Moment? Then more fighting over wells. Fighting over water rights continues to this day. One only needs to look to the Western United States and treaties over the use of the mighty Colorado River. These battles will continue to intensify as water sources continue to diminish.  

When Isaac was old and his eyes were dim, he called Esau to him to bless him. What made Isaac’s eyes dim? His experience on the mountain with Abraham and the tears he must have shed? Something more like cataracts or macular degeneration? Could modern medicine helped here?  

With Rebecca’s help, Jacob tricks Isaac into giving him the blessing reserved for the first born. Esau pleads with Isaac for some blessing which Isaac offers, sadly, differently. Esau threatens to kill Jacob. 

Table Topics: 

1. What do you think of the debate about nurture versus nature? Do you see examples of this question in this week’s portion? How does this play into sibling rivalry?
2. When Rebecca who was barren went to l’derosh G-d, to seek out G-d, how is she different, or alike women today who struggle with infertility and go to a fertility clinic. How could modern science have helped Isaac and Rebecca?
3. What legacy do we want to leave our children? What blessings do we want to give them?
4. How do we feel about Esau? About Jacob? Did the right person get the birthright? Was there a way to share? Did Jacob (and Rebecca have to trick Isaac? 

Labs at Home: 

Read this summary about nurture versus nature about whether grit is learned or genetic. It is about twins. https://characterlab.org/tips-of-the-week/nature-versus-nurture/  

The full, academic abstract from a Spanish genetics team is here: https://www.pnas.org/content/102/30/10604  

Songs::
He Aint Heavy, He’s My Brother 

We are Family—I’ve got all my sisters with me 

Acts of Kindness: 

Write an ethical will. This is most often a spiritual, emotional, values based letter to your descendants outlining your wishes and hopes and dreams for your children and grandchildren. It is not how to disperse property or the living will/durable power of attorney. There are plenty of examples here:
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/writing-an-ethical-will-how-to-get-started/  

Alternatively, make a pot of lentil stew and share it with friends, family, neighbors. It is a good source of protein and it may even help with climate change—but that is a story for another day. Here is a recipe: 

Lentil Barley Soup 

2 cups red lentils
3/4 cup pearl barley
2 carrots, diced
1 large onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, diced
8 cups water or stock
1/2 tsp. oregano
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. black pepper
1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes (optional)
1 1/2 tsp. salt 

Add all ingredients together in a soup pot, bring to boil and simmer one hour. Stir occasionally. The soup thickens as it cooks, so add water as needed to desired consistency. 

Very hearty, thick soup… and it freezes well!
From the More with Less Cookbook and Anne Schwartz
 

In Memory of Nelle Sicher Frisch 

Friday Night of Chayyei Sarah: 

There is a tradition of doing some teaching and learning on the yahrzeit of someone beloved. Earlier this week we marked the yahrzeit of Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sacks and I was so glad we participated by the Torah Study group listen to one of his d’var Torah on this week’s parsha. This week we also mark my mother’s yahrzeit, (or next week depending on which calendar and which day of death, really. So this teaching is in honor and memory of Nelle Sicher Frisch. 

Perhaps this will be a controversial, but I hope fun d’var Torah. They say that Halloween isn’t a Jewish holiday—it’s Christian. So there is no place for it here. I have friends who don’t celebrate Halloween because it is Christian. I have Christian friends who don’t celebrate it because it is pagan. For my mother—it was her favorite holiday. When Sarah was young, she thought my mother was a witch, and maybe she was. She had inscrutable evidence according to a book she read (circa age 4). THe witch next door lived in a black house; Granny lived in a black house. THe witch next door had a cat. Granny had a cat. The witch next door wore black clothes. Granny wore black clothes. The witch next door love Halloween. Granny’s favorite holiday. Plus she collected kitchen witches. Ergo, Granny was a witch. 

So let’s see about the interconnections. 

When I was a young Jewish educator, I worked with a rabbi, Rabbi Everett Gendler, who made this night fun. Everybody would bring their Ya’akov Lanterns, carved with Jewish symbols. Light chases away darkness and makes the scary, safer, even holy. That is part of why we kindle Shabbat candles, to make this time sacred time, to separate sacred from the profane. The organist would play the opening notes of Phantom of the Opera and would cackle that witchy laugh we would only hear once a year.  

Our sacred texts talk about all manner of spooky things. Goblins and Ghosts and Golems, oh my! Witches, and Dybbuks, even Satan—which is actually a Hebrew word, Satan. 

Let’s look at some of those texts.  

Perhaps my favorite story is about the Rabbi and the 29 Witches. It was made into a children’s story which I have told here.  The Rabbi and the 29 Witches 

But here is the Rashi on the Talmud text itself:  

“The student went and told Shimon ben Shetach. What did Shimon do? He gathered together 80 young and studious men on a day when it was raining, and they were each given a jar with a dry cloak/tallit in it. He instructed them to keep their cloaks/tallit dry and to ensure that they were not seen by the witches until the appointed signal. He left the young men outside the cave, and approached the witches’ residence. “Who are you,” they asked. Shimon answered, “I am a magician, and I came to see your magical works.” “What magic can you do,” the witches inquired.  “I can make 80 young men appear in dry cloaks, even though it is a rainy day.” “Show us!” The witches demanded. Shimon went outside and signaled to the young men to take out the cloaks and cover themselves in them, and they entered and lifted the witches off the ground (to prevent them from doing sorcery, which can only be done while on the ground) and they hung them all. (Rashi on Sanhedrin 44b) 

Were they hung, like the witches of Salem? Not so sure. Or did they melt like in Marilyn Hirsch’s story. If they melted, did the screen play author of the Wizard of Oz know that? Can’t you just hear the line, “I’m melting, I’m melting!” 

However, if you are still concerned but witches being Jewish, let’s go back to the Bible.  While it is clear that the Bible was not so fond of sorcery or witchcraft, remember the verse, “Suffer a witch not to live.” However, despite this verse, other famous verses like” Eye for an Eye, Tooth for a Tooth,: there is no evidence that a witch was actually killed.  By Talmudic times, witchcraft seemed to be more acceptable. ihink Rav Hisda’s Daughters by Maggie Anton. 

However, the threat of a witch may be deterred by reciting the following curse (Pesahim 110a): “May boiling excrement in a sieve be forced into your mouth, (you) witches! May your head go bald and carry off your crumbs; your spices be scattered, and the wind carry off the new saffron in your hands, witches!” 

Seven loops of knots (tied to the left side of the body) are also a good defense against illness caused by witchcraft (Shabbat 66b) 

Is witchcraft then just magic? When we look at the Salem Witch Trials maybe. The Witch Trials are complicated. They seem to be about land ownership, the haves and the have nots, some fear of the other and some hysteria—in the truest form—all mixed in to create a catastrophe. (I had a whole semester on the Witch Trials so I could go on and on but I won’t. However I have a full book shelf of real, hard copy books if anyone is interested)  

My professor, Dr. Rabbi Jill Hammer said this in a recent article picked up by AP News about Jewwitches:
“Often the way that it’s structured is, if you’re part of the hierarchy … it’s called ritual, it’s called prayer, it’s called ceremony. And if you are doing something outside of the hierarchy, that’s often called magic or sorcery or witchcraft,” Hammer explained. She continued, “Witchcraft is often associated with marginalized people, particularly women,” she said. “There’s a whole body of women’s ritual that tends to be called witchcraft simply because it is women’s ritual.” 

But what about these other things: Golems and Ghosts and Dybbuks, Oh my. 

Sh! Be very quiet. Do you hear anything? Does anyone think this building is haunted. I don’t, but many people do. Sometimes I get up from my desk when I think I hear someone. Thus far it has only been the heat! Has anyone else encountered the Ghost of 330 Division Street? 

Now a more formal answer:
“The Torah’s most well-known ghost story is that of Shaul HaMelech (King Saul) who, with the help of a witch, summoned the recently-deceased Shmuel HaNavi (Prophet Samuel) for help in defeating the Philistines, even though this was prohibited (I Samuel 28). Rabbi Shmuel Ben Chofni Gaon (d. 1034) explains that there was no ghost. Rather, the witch fooled Shaul into believing that she was conjuring the spirit of the deceased prophet. In contrast, Rabbi Sa’adia Gaon (d. 942) and Rabbi Hai Gaon (d. 1038) suggest that while normally the deceased do not appear in this world, Shaul experienced a unique miracle. All three agree that, absent a miracle, the dead remain among their fellow deceased, not roaming among the living as ghosts. Others, more mystically inclined, take this story as an example of interactions between the dead and the living, forbidden to us but technically possible. To them, ghosts can be real but we must avoid calling them.” https://www.ou.org/life/inspiration/jewish-view-ghosts/ 

This is all tied up with our views of the afterlife. Come back tomorrow for more on that.  

What about Golems. We know about the Golem of Prague. But it goes back much earlier: 

Let’s put it in a context. According to the midrash on Genesis, these other creatures exist because of Shabbat: 

Bereishit Rabbah 7:5 

“And God said: Let the earth bring forth the life (nefesh) of living creatures of all types, cattle, creeping things, and wild beasts of all types. And it was so. And God made wild beasts of all types, cattle of all types, and creeping things of all types…” (Genesis 1:24-25) …R. Hama bar Hoshaya said: Souls are spoken of 4 times, but when they are created, it says, “made wild beasts of all types, cattle of all types, and creeping things of all types.” Why 3 here and 4 there? Rabbi says: These are the demons. God created their souls, but when He came to create their bodies, He sanctified Shabbat and did not create them. 

So out of that dust, the earth itself that G-d made man, we learn that some rabbis also tried to make man. Perhaps like Frankenstein or the Golem of Prague. But this is from the Talmud> 

Sanhedrin 65b:17 

Indeed, Rava created a man, a golem, using forces of sanctity. Rava sent his creation before Rabbi Zeira. Rabbi Zeira would speak to him but he would not reply. Rabbi Zeira said to him: You were created by one of the members of the group, one of the Sages. Return to your dust. 

One last text for tonight. This one is about demons. 

Chagigah 16a:5-7 

The Gemara returns to discussing the heavenly beings. The Sages taught: Six statements were said with regard to demons: In three ways they are like ministering angels, (note, those very ones we sing about in Shalom Aleichem. Those are the malachei hashareit)  and in three ways they are like humans. In three ways they are like ministering angels: They have wings like ministering angels; and they fly from one end of the world to the other like ministering angels; and they know what will be in the future like ministering angels. The Gemara is puzzled by this last statement: Should it enter your mind that they know this? Not even the angels are privy to the future. Rather, they hear from behind the curtain when God reveals something of the future, like ministering angels. And in three ways they are similar to humans: They eat and drink like humans; they multiply like humans; and they die like humans. 

And a last, funny story about my mom and me. When I was little and lived in New York City, we would take the Fifth Avenue bus. One day, when I was about 3, an older Jewish woman tried to sit next to me. I told her not to, because Dybbuk was sitting there. My mother thought I had said Debbie. Well, no one was visible and I repeated myself. The woman ran off the bus at the next stop. I had terrified her. 

But wait there’s more—and tonight is only a taste. Tomorrow we will explore some of the mourning customs since we are reading about the deaths of Abraham and Sarah and Ishmael. And we will look at how this connects, or doesn’t with the Day of the Dead. 

Saturday morning of Chayyeii Sarah: 

The years of the life of Sarah were 100 and 20 and 7 and Sarah died. 

1. Death one: Sarah died in Kiriath-arba—now Hebron—in the land of Canaan; and Abraham proceeded to mourn for Sarah and to bewail her. 

1. Death Two: And Abraham breathed his last, dying at a good ripe age, old and contented; and he was gathered to his kin. His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hittite, facing Mamre, the field that Abraham had bought from the Hittites; there Abraham was buried, and Sarah his wife. After the death of Abraham, God blessed his son Isaac. And Isaac settled near Beer-lahai-roi. 

1. Death Three: These were the years of the life of Ishmael: one hundred and thirty-seven years; then he breathed his last and died, and was gathered to his kin.— 

This portion seems perfect for this weekend, where many are celebrating Halloween. Halloween, All Hallow’s Eve, the day before All Souls Day or the Day of the Dead, in Spanish, dia de los Muertos 

We started this conversation last night. While Halloween isn’t a Jewish holiday per se, we learn lots about our own mourning customs right here. 

Sarah died. The rabbis teach us that there are no extra words in Torah so why the repetition of “and” and “years.” What about Sarah’s life was special? It reminds me of the poem the dash. https://thedashpoem.com/  The most important part of a gravestone is the dash between the date of birth and the date of death. It is what you do with your life. The rabbis teach us that Sarah who is considered one of the 7 women prophetesses was without sin at 100 like a 20 year old and as beautiful at 7 as at 20. Or, because it is Judaism perhaps it is the other way around. As beautiful at 20 as 7 and as sin-free at 100 as 20. I prefer the second version but most put it the first way.  

The tradition tells us that Abraham eulogized her—with the words of Eishet Chayil, A Woman of Valor in Proverbs. And since we can rad texts backwards and forwards we are not going to have the debate of how Abrahm knew the words penned years later. Or maybe Solomon looked at Sarah’s life as the model. My mother never liked this reading. For her it is not feminist enough. The full version might be. There are new modern versions. In any case, while we read this today at lots of women’s funerals, we most certainly did not at my mother’s.  

Abraham wailed and mourned. He bought a burial cave and wouldn’t accept it as a gift. (In the modern world, some have argued that this very text establishes the right of Israel to have Hebron, because the text tells us we bought it—but that is a sermon for another year.) 

And he gets up from his mourning. He sends Eliezer to find a wife for Isaac. He himself takes another wife and we assume that life goes on.  

Then, Abraham dies. And is gathered to his kin. And Isaac and Ishmael come to bury him—in the Cave of Machpeleh where Abraham buried Sarah. Together. Neither Isaac nor Ishmael were living near Abraham. It seems they were estranged from Abraham. Abraham died alone. Not with Isaac, not with Ishmael and seemingly not with that new wife and kids. I think it is fair to say that Abraham was not a perfect parent. Sending Hagar and Ishmael out into the wilderness to almost certain death and then believing that G-d wanted to sacrifice Isaac on that mountain. The stories wind up OK…but imagine the conversation between Isaac and Ishmael this day:  

Isaac—Well, we are here. Back together again after all those years. How are you? What have you been doing. Once I looked up to you, but my mother made me afraid of you. I just wanted to play with my big brother. 

Ishmael—We are here. How are you? What have you been doing? Why are you living in Beer lechai  Roi? That’s where my mother met G-d. That’s where an angel of G-d, your G-d told my mother to go back to the harsh treatment of your mother. Why would G-d do that? 

Isaac—I don’t understand our father. I still don’t understand him.  I don’t understand this G-d. Why would G-d want our father to take me to that mountain? Why would our father listen to my mother and send you out into the wilderness. I was angry, sad, confused. Maybe, I was depressed. I couldn’t see very well. They said it made me go blind.  I left after we came down the mountain and went to try find your mother. Maybe she would bring me comfort. Or maybe I would have my own experience of G-d. Then Eliezer picked out a wife for me, even though I was a loner. I liked wandering in the fields trying to figure out how this had happened to me. I married Rebecca and I loved her and took her to my mother’s Sarah’s tent and was comforted after her death.  

Ishmael—What do we do now? 

Isaac—I don’t know. I guess we bury him. Then I think I’m going back to Beer lechai roi. Where are you going? Do you want to come with me. Then we could still be together.  

Ishmael—I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.  Some day. Maybe. Thanks for the offer.  

They part and go their separate ways.  

And after a brief interlude that gives us Ishmael’s family tree, Ishmael dies. And is gathered to his kin.  

Some people this weekend will be celebrating the Day of the Dead. One year for Selichot we watched Coco and compared it with Yahrzeit and Yizkor. It is the Disney version of Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. . Perhaps that is cultural apropriation.  In Elgin, which is 47% Hispanic, we need to understand the Latino approach to mourning and afterlife. Dia de los Muertos is one way of how to keep the memory alive, through photos and stories and candles, and a bridge to the other side paved with marigold blossoms. If the memory is forgotten the person who has died is gone forever. Sound familiar? 

So, what do we learn from all of this? What you do with your lives matters. Make every day count. Remember the dash and the years of the life of Sarah.  We bury our dead and comfort our bereaved. We do it together—even when that is hard. We remember our dead and eulogize them and then at least every year we come back together to remember. We might say Kaddish four times a year as part of Yizkor. We might light a yarhzeit candle. We might remember through story telling. Or givng a D’var Torah like this. Remember also that the rabbis of the Talmud teach that we should repent one day before our death, but then they ask how will know the day of our death. The answer, we should repent every day. That way you wont’ be like Abraham and die alone.  

Chayyei Sarah: Genesis 23:1-25:18 

Parsha Summary: 

Our parsha begins this week with the death of Sarah. These are the years of Sarah’s life. Sarah was one hundred year and twenty years and seven years and Sarah died. In Kiryat Arba, now Hebron, a far distance from Beer Sheva where last we saw Abraham. How did she get there? Why? Abraham comes to Hebron, buys a cave to bury Sarah, mourns and wails for her and eulogizes her. Much of our Jewish mourning customs can be learned from this week’s parsha. 

Then Abraham sends his servant to find a wife for Isaac. The servant takes 10 camels and goes to the land of Abraham’s birth. Rebecca shows up at the well and offers to draw water for the servant and for the camels. That act of kindness, no small feat, earns her the right to be Isaac’s wife. The servant makes sure that Rebecca herself approves. She must consent herself to the engagement and marriage, After a lavish meal they set off for Abraham. 

The next part reads like a Hollywood script. Isaac is meditating (or something, meaning of Hebrew uncertain), in the field. He lifted his eyes. He spies Rebecca on a camel. Raising her eyes, Rebecca saw Isaac. She “alighted” from the camel.  

Raising her eyes, Rebekah saw Isaac. She alighted from the camel . “Who is that man walking in the field toward us?” The servant answered and she covered herseld and the servant told Isaac all the things he had done. So Isaac takes Rebecca to the tent of his mother Sarah, and he took Rebecca as his wife. And he loved her. (First mention of love in the Bible) and he found comfort after his mother’s death.  

Shortly thereafter Abraham dies. Seemingly alone. And Isaac and Ishmael come back to bury him, together, in the Cave of Machpelah with Sarah.   This is the first time, and perhaps the only time, they are together after the trauma their own father causes for each of them. Shortly thereafter Ishmael dies and we are given his lineage.  

Table Topics 

1. Why is it important that Abraham buys the burial cave?
2. How much water would you need to fully water 10 camels?
3. Why is Isaac in Beer La Ha Roi—isn’t that where Hagar first encountered G-d? 
4. What comforts you after someone dies?  

Labs at Home: 

Design a math equation to figure out how much water those camels need, how much the water weighed and how long it would take for Rebecca to complete this task. Explain your work. How you decided how much a camel drinks. How much does a gallon of water weigh… You may have to do some internet research to figure out what the values would be.

For example:
x=number of camels
y=amount a camel drinks
z- weight of a gallon of water

Song: 

Eifo Hem Avoteinu 

https://www.letras.com/chava-alberstein/1528260/  

Act of Kindness: 

Offer to feed someone’s animals. Don’t forget the water. The Talmud teaches we should feed animals before we sit down to our own dinner. 

They say that laughter really is the best medicine. There is medical evidence to back that claim. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456 

 Last night we talked about breast cancer and once again, we thank the EPD for bringing the Breast Cancer Awareness Squad Car. It made us all smile.  

Breast cancer is a Jewish issue. Continuing with our science theme and our pekuach nefesh emphasis, the idea of saving a life, I want to remind you that getting your mammogram and being tested for BRCA is an important part of taking care of your health. https://www.juf.org/cjg/Get-Screened.aspx?gclid=CjwKCAjwzt6LBhBeEiwAbPGOgT-W00ReY-kyQJn2Z5-VikLTX8Q652cRQ_qlhALXsK1LOtfuCDO5ThoC8hEQAvD_BwE  

As our president, Robin Coyne reminded you, early detection is key. She is a two time breast cancer survivor of different types. So go do it. Go get your mammogram!  

Earlier this year I talked about it being permissible, even encouraged to be angry with G-d. Perhaps we see hints of this with Abraham arguing with G-d to save Sodom and Gemorah.  Mayyim Hayyim, th communality mikveh and education center in Boston complied a great book for women with cancer: Blessings for the Journey: A Jewish Healing Guide for Women with Cancer. It has lots of helpful material and the best chapter I know anywhere for dealing with anger with G-d.  

Today, however, I want to talk about laughing with G-d.  

Our text tells us, “And Sarah laughed.” Why did she laugh? She was , go ahead, fill in the blank: surprised, delighted, shocked, that she heard she would have a baby. She even questioned it.  

And Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “Now that I am withered, am I to have enjoyment—with my husband so old?” 

Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Shall I in truth bear a child, old as I am?’ (Notice the little white lie here. G-d doesn’t repeat that Abraham is so old.!) 

G-d continues to reassure Sarah, “Is anything too wondrous for the LORD? I will return to you at the same season next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” 

In fact, G-d does pakad et Sarah, whatever that means, took note, remember, visited, and she does have a child. She names that child Isaac, meaning laughter.  

Now Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.  And Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter; everyone who hears will laugh  withaLit. “for.” me.”  And she added,
“Who would have said to Abraham
That Sarah would suckle children!
Yet I have borne a son in his old age.” 

This is a bookend moment, echoing her early laughter. Are people laughing with her, at her, for her? Is it crazy to want a baby at 90?  Are you relieved that you don’t have to raise this child at 90? Are you happy for Sarah that she finally got the child of her heart’s desire? 

“Their noblewomen would come and kiss the ground at Sarah’s feet, and they said to her: “Do a good deed and nurse our children.” Abraham told Sarah: “Sarah, this is not the time for modesty. Sanctify God’s name. Sit down in the marketplace and nurse their children” (Pesikta de-Rav Kahana loc. cit.).” Sarah stood and revealed herself, and her two breasts spouted milk like two spouts of water. The nations of the world brought their children to Sarah for her to nurse. (Pesikta Rabbati [ed. Friedmann (Ish-Shalom)], para. 43) 

Breasts are important in Judaism. G-d is actually referred to as a nursing mother.  

The Hebrew word “shad‘ means “breast.” (Or mountain—think the Bubbles in Acadia or the Tetons!) “Shaddai” (the name of God written on mezuzot on tefillin, and in many Jewish texts) evokes the image of God with breasts or God nursing, and is literally translatable not as “Lord, Our God,” or “God, My Salvation,” but “God of Breasts” or “God Who Nurses.” 

In Isaiah we learn, God: “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.”  

“Be Joyful with .Jerusalem, all you who love her all you who mourn over her that you may nurse and he satisfied with her comforting breasts, that you may suck deeply and he delighted with her bountiful breast! For this is what the Lord says: ‘Behold. I extend peace to her like a river; and the glory of nations like an overflowing stream. You will be suckled and carried on the hip and fondled on the knees. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.’” (Isaiah 66:10-13) 

Throughout the book of Genesis, the name Shaddai is also connected with blessings of fertility. When Jacob blesses his son Joseph, for example (Genesis 49:25), he says. “Shaddai will bless you with blessings of the heavens above, of the deep that lies below, blessings of the breast and womb.” [Genesis 49:25.] 

When we talk about Gomel Hasadim Tovim, that G-d bestows lovingkindness on us, that G-d, like a camel, a gamal, fills us up and sustains us, that is like a nursing mother.  

So if you are a breast cancer survivor, and have survived this life threatning disease stand with me and recite this prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude:
Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, ha-gomel l’chayavim tovot she-g’malani kol tov. 

Blessed are You, Lord our God,Rruler of the world, who fills and bestows goodness on the undeserving t, and who has rewarded me with goodness. 

After the recitation of this blessing, the congregation responds: 

Mi she-g’malcha kol tov, hu yi-g’malcha kol tov selah. 

May G-d who rewarded you with all goodness reward you with all goodness for ever. Selah. 

You may be seated. 

According to the Talmud, when Hannah prays to G-d it includes this: 
Ruler of the World, among the things that you created in women, you have not made one without a purpose: eyes to see, ears to hear a mouth to speak, legs to walk with. These breasts that you put on my heart, are they not for nursing? Give me a son. then, so that I can use them! [Berakhot 3IB] 

Back to our story…
It seems, according to the midrash, that Sarah nursed Isaac. And lots of other children.  

The child grew up and was weaned, and Abraham held a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned. 

Next week we will read Chayeii Sarah, the Life of Sarah. Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years. 127 years. And then Sarah died. It is said that Abraham came to Kiryat Shmona, Hebron and eulogized her. Using words that are from Eishet Chayyil, a Woman of Valor. 

One of the things Eishet Chayil says is “and she laughs at the time to come.” We are back to laughter.  

It is said that “Man plans and G-d laughs.” We have certainly seen that in discussing the pandemic.  As one example: 

“Soon enough we will be back to planning. Attempting to do so in this moment is an illusion – an attempt to assuage our anxiety. Let’s focus on addressing critical needs in our communities, making sure we take care of the ill and unemployed, and protecting those who are healthy. Let’s take walks, plant flowers, embrace our homes, our neighborhoods, our families and take time to just be – and count each day to again receive the Torah.”  https://jewishatlanta.org/man-plans-g-d-laughs/  

Laughter is desired. Laughter heals.  

Psalms 126:2 states, “Then our mouths will fill with laughter (s’chok).” The same word that is used to describe Isaac.  

Psalm 30: “Weeping may linger for the night but joy comes in the mourning. but at dawn there are shouts of joy. Are those shouts of joy really laughter? Have you ever laughed so hard you’ve cried? Dare I say it, peed your pants? That’s healing. Really.  

Even teachers are advised to start a lesson with humor as part of their induction set. 

In the midst of a conversation about whether or not one should approach Torah study from a place of joy, the Talmud relates the practice of the sage Rabbah, who before beginning to teach matters of Jewish law, “would say something humorous so that the Sages might be cheered” before beginning the daunting and awe-some task before him. (BT Shabbat 30b) Incredibly, Rabbah determines that the best way to prepare his students for complex Torah study is to tell a joke. 

By inviting them to laugh together, their nerves are put at ease, and their hearts and minds are opened to possibility. They embark on their journey having felt the power of sharing a moment of joy. As such, laughter becomes part of the sacred act, a prerequisite for engaging collectively with that which is deep and profound. 

“Numerous commentaries and midrashim tell of Isaac’s birth sparking a wave of babies born to previously barren women, illnesses healed, and goodness restored, so that others could share in the joy and laughter of this moment. Yet there seems to be another message here as well, if we understand Sarah’s two encounters with laughter to be part of the same story: laughter is a communal connective tissue. It is an act of faith, rather than doubt, an act of defiance and triumph rather than acquiescence. While Sarah might not have been able to control her reaction before, now her laughter is deliberate, and forever bound up in the name of her child.” https://www.jtsa.edu/torah/the-gravity-of-laughter/  

Sometimes we approach Judaism as an obligation—something we have to do. It isn’t much fun. It is something to just be gotten through. Now I am telling you, it is something to have fun with, to laugh about. To savor. To enjoy. Come laugh with me. The best is yet to be.  

What is your favorite Jewish joke? Clean and appropriate please. 

Vayera: Genesis 18:1-22:24 

Parsha Summary: 

Like much of the Book of Genesis, this portion covers lots of famous stories. After the circumcision, Abraham is sitting at the entrance to his tent. He sees three visitors approaching and warmly welcomes them. Here is the root of hospitality in Judaism. But what is it he sees? Is this just a mirage?  

Later in the story, Hagar runs away from her mistress and she hears an angel telling her to go back to the harsh treatment of her mistress Sarah. What does she hear?  

Sarah is told that she will have a child and she laughs. What did she really hear? Then she Is not happy with how Isaac and Ishmael are “playing” so Abraham kicks out Hagar and Ishmael. Out of food and water, Hagar puts her child under a bush and begs that she not look on while the lad dies.  The text tells us that G-d heard the cries of the lad. But wait, wasn’t it Hagar who was speaking? 

Still later Abraham hears G-d say to take his son, his only son, the one he loves, to take Isaac and offer him as a sacrifice. Again, what did he hear? Who is speaking? G-d or an angel? 

Recently I had the experience of thinking I looked fat on a Zoom call when, in fact, I am at my lowest weight since ordination. What’s happening here? How does perception play a role in reality? There has been lots of scientific research on this topic with colleges running labs called Perception Labs. Here is what they are doing at Yale. http://perception.yale.edu/  There is lots of material here to whet your appetite. Including, almost a footnote of praising Jonathan Kominsky for opening his own perception lab. Jonathan is a research scientist active in this field and the son of Rabbi Neil Kominsky and Dr. Deborah Frank. A quick search yields that Carleton College, University of Iowa and others also have perception labs.  

How our brains see or hear is a whole field of science. It is also art when you think about MC Ecsher’s art that is full of optical illusion. https://mcescher.com/ For instance, in his famous lithograph are those stairs ascending or descending? 

Table Topics 

1. How do we see? 
2. How do we hear? 
3. Is there a difference between perception and reality? 
4. What role does G-d play in any of this? 

Labs at Home: 

Sent in by Dr. Jonathan Kominsky, Perception Scientist.
Try drawing a Necker Cube. All it takes is paper and a ruler. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necker_cube 

Or for a little more complexity, try this one about cardboard arrows:
http://illusionoftheyear.com/2019/12/ambiguous-cardboard-arrows/  

Song: 

Esai Enai…I lift up my eyes… 

Esa Einai 

Esa Eina by Neshama Carlebach at March of the Living Tribute to Ronald Lauder 

Acts of Kindness: 

Abraham and Sarah’s tent were open to all four sides so they could welcome the stranger. Three strangers, messengers, angels, came and Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw. Figure out one way to engage in “hachnasat orchim,” welcoming guests. How would you make people feel welcome in your home, especially during this time of COVID? What other ways could you extend the mitzvah without welcoming them to your home? What about outside dining? Taking a walk? Making a phone call?

This is a tale of two sermons. Last night, because the EPD Squad car was here in the interest of time, I didn’t get to finish and I had a really important message.  

Last night we observed Domestic Violence Awareness Month and our own Maureen. We support her and the very important work that the Community Crisis Center does in the Elgin area. Hereoes work there. They are truly on the frontlines and are integral in keeping the fabric of our community. We thank the Elgin Police Department for bringing the DV Squad car and partnering with us.  And we hope you enjoyed the purple goodie bags, the color of DV awareness, in honor of this. 

Yeterday, as part of the Crisis Center’s observance of DV Awareness they hosted their annual Partner in Peace breakfast. I was honored to do the innocation, where once again I taught everyone my favorite line of liturgy, “Ufros Aleinu Sukkat Shlomecha, Spread over us the shelter, the fragile sukkah of Your peace.” Peace is fragile and Judaism places shalom bayit, peace of the house as a high value.  

Sadly, domestic violence and intimate partner violence exists in every community, social economic group, 1 in 4 women will experience violence in their lifetime. This includes the Jewish community. Every October, I spend some time talking about this topic. This year is no exception.  We are in the beginning of Genesis still and domestic violence and sexual assault is clearly spoken about in our texts. Today’s parsha talks about an angel of the Lord sending Hagar back to Sarah to submit to Sarah’s harsh treatment. Lot was willing to give up his daughters to a raging mob. Later Dinah will be raped.  These are not OK. Full stop. It is why we have and need agencies like the Community Crisis Center. It is why I was trained as a domestic violence and rape counselor and volunteered for years in Boston on a rape hotline. It is why my door is always open to have this conversation. No one has the right to hit you. Period. Full stop.  

And sadly, and this is very important. While we are all aware of big coverups like the priest scandal or the Boy Scouts, Penn State, Michigan State and now Simon’s beloved University of Michigan, the Jewish community is not without its own coverups. Recently USJC and specifically USY had to confront a decades old story about a rabbi at camp just as the statue of limitations was running out. https://www.jta.org/quick-reads/conservative-movement-to-launch-investigation-of-sexual-abuse-allegations-at-youth-program  

Even more recently I received the Reform Movement’s letter which I will read here and send to the whole congregation. https://urj.org/blog/important-update-our-community This one has a real deadline. IF you were abused by staff in the Reform Movement, you have until Nov. 15th to write to the independent investigators. I urge you to do so and I will walk that path with you.  

Abram, not yet Abraham went on a journey  in this week. To a land that G-d would show him. He left his land, the place of his birth and his father’s house. 

Lech lecha—Go forth, Go to yourself.  What does it mean to go forth? How do we find ourselves? To be authentic? We know the story of Reb Zuzia, when he was dying, his students were surprised that he was crying. Why? He was worried that when he got to the gates of heaven he wouldn’t be asked by was he not Moes, but why he was not Zusia.  

Our congregation has a vision statement that includes the plank, meaningful observance. What does it mean to find meaning? Meaning can be as varied as the stars in the sky, just like the stars in the promise to Abram. Last night we had a very meaningful service, filled with lovely music and lots of singing. For some, including me, that provides a spiritual lift and lots of meaning. For others, not as much. For some, keeping kosher provides meaning. For others, they see it as an outmoded form of Judaism. 

This week we read about Abram after his name is changed to Abraham circumcising himself and the males in his family. I kicked off a firestorm of discussion in two rabbinic groups around circumcision. Seems that not all American Jews are circumcising their newborn boys. There is even now a group called Bruchim, Welcome, promoting this idea. https://www.jta.org/2021/10/07/culture/these-jews-want-to-normalize-not-circumcising-and-they-want-synagogues-to-help?fbclid=IwAR189nrVzTERQEa6LVVz3ilFwEyh3QWc3ZbQlKqqjhgO37tcs4LQNxh8q4A  

The reasons for this is varied. A The responses to my questions about it were also varied and fascinating. It is something we could and probably should discuss at some point as part of our ongoing study of “A Time for Everything” this year. 

We are at a shift in the American Jewish people. This is not new. COVID-19 has uncovered some of the inherent underlying issues in the American Jewish Community. However, we have actually seen some of the trends for decades. All the way back in my lifecycle classes in rabbinical school I would say that I never saw a lifecycle event that comes out of a box. They are not just cookie cutter events—and they shouldn’t be in my opinion. They should incorporate elements that are meaningful to the people marking time, welcoming a new child, male or female into the covenant, starting the beginning of school, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah—some are now calling this B-Mitzvah, Confirmaiton, graduation, marriage, retirement, or a funeral. All of those can be individualized.   

Each individual must find their own meaning, their own way on their journey, just like Abram and Sarai. Just like our own Avot prayer that highlights that each of our patriarchs, Abraham, and Isaac and Jacob and each of the matriarchs, Sarah, and Rebecca, and Leah, and Rachel each had their own understanding of G-d. It is my job to accompany people on those journeys—whether it is a baby naming, a wedding or a funeral. When I sit with someone at the hospital. When I call to see how you are doing. When I provide a book suggestion just for you.  

Later this month I will participate in the read out of the Metropolitan Chicago Jewish Population Study. When I first arrived 10 years ago, JUF told me that there were 6000 unaffiliated Jews in the Fox River Valley. There may still be. How we define Jew. How we define affiliated are important survey construction constraints. And we may learn, yet again, that synagogue membership may not be meaningful to many. We at CKI are lucky. We have held our own despite the trends and despite the pandemic. 

Recently there have been some articles that have appeared as we are coming out, hopefully, G-d willing from this pandemic.  

https://ministryarchitects.com/theyre-not-coming-back/?fbclid=IwAR2zZ6FdQ_vXjqAQa607Jr9-MuiuYQLjM3jAhmkpKI8mNh1BPWAjmv04AiY  

Rabbis and priests and ministers are actively planning exit strategies. NOT ME! 

Overwhelmed: Not a problem to be solved: 

https://www.congregationalconsulting.org/overwhelm-not-a-problem-to-be-solved/?fbclid=IwAR1B0ZjUj1nsdE9KZKVd-lAZFCEyyDkNrijgCteF9Jq4suZ4F7zC7Yw 

Perhaps instead this is an opportunity, to build the world, or at least our corner of it, the way that is most meaningful, most authentic.  

“The Future is Starting Now” is a new show from Rabbi David, your Torah Tech Guy. “Starting Now” is an opportunity to hear from and interact with those Jewish leaders who are imagining and creating the future of the Jewish community, its structures, institutions, values, and systems – now. Cherie Koller-Fox, Rabbi Elyse Wechterman, Ron Wolfson Ron Wolfson Rabbi Dan Judson  

But meaning is not just about religious observance. It is more than that. It is about finding your authentic self and living into it. Recently, just a week ago, I went on a journey.  Running is part of my authentic self. It helps keep me grounded. It gives me an opportunity to meditate and davven. It is a place where in the early morning light I can meet G-d and my inner mot feelings. It is part of who I am. I find meaning in running. Perhaps instead of the Energizer Rabbi I should be the Running Rabbi. 

Let’s go on this journey together and find meaning together.  I’m not sure where we are going but together we will get there. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot.  

PS: While written for churches, it works for synagogues too:

Stop Leading the Church You Lost & Start Leading the Church You Have.  

Clarence E Stowers: 

The culture has changed.  

Habits have changed.  

Your church has changed. 

Stadiums are Full, but Sanctuaries are Half Empty 

The stadium was packed as I watched the Chicago Bears’ exciting win against the Raiders on Sunday. 

Where are the people? 

Many became comfortable with online worship. They don’t have to get their family dressed, fed, and out the door on Sunday morning anymore. They can sip their coffee in their jammies while their children play or sleep in.  

While online faithfulness has certainly lessened over time, some of your people are still there. They are giving. They are on your side. They’re just staying home. 

God has uniquely positioned you and your church to serve a changing culture if you are willing to let go of what you used to do. 

Remember this: Stop Leading the Church You Lost & Start Leading the Church You Have.  

Did you catch that? 

Get it? 

Got it? 

Good! 

*Inspired by Allen White 

Parsha Summary: 

God said to Abram, “Go forth, go to yourself, out of your land, the place of your birth, your father’s house, to the land that I will show you.” And there, once Abram figures out where there is, God will make him a blessing.  So Abram left.  

But soon there was famine in the land and Abram and Sarai went down to Egypt. Abram tried to pass Sarai off as his sister to spare his own life. When they returned from Egypt, Abram’s herdsmen and Lot’s quarreled with each other over resources. They agree to separate. Lot chose the plain of Jordan. Abram chose the land of Canaan.  

Sarai was barren. She decided to give her handmaiden, Hagar, to Abram to be a surrogate mother. This doesn’t go especially well and Hagar runs away. Hagar is told by an angel to return to Sarai and submit to Sarai’s harsh treatment.  She is the first person to name G-d,  

G-d appears to Abram and tells him that he will make a covenant with him. And that Sarai will in fact bear a son, Isaac. As a sign of that covenant, Abram agrees to circumcise himself. As an old man, this would have been quite painful. There has been much written again about circumcision in the modern Jewish world, new organizations like Bruchim. Yet the text says that those who are not circumcised are cut off from their kin and this covenant. How do we balance these opposing views? 

Table Topics: 

1. What does it mean to go forth or to go to yourself?
2. How can science help us protect natural resources, water, food, and prevent quarraling, famine and refugee crises?  
3. Infertility is still a problem today. Is there any circumstance where you think a surrogate would work? How has the science of infertility helped women today? 
4. What are your opinions on circumcision? What does the Academy of American Pediatrics say? How does medical science inform your opinion? 

Labs at Home: 

Water Dowsing Experiment. Can you find water using a stick? Why or why not? Read this two articles and decide. OR come up with your own experiment to prove.  

https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a3199/1281661/  

https://www.usgs.gov/special-topic/water-science-school/science/water-dowsing?qt-science_center_objects=0#qt-science_center_objects  

Song:
Debbie Friedman – L’chi Lach 

Act of Kindness: 

Help someone make a party after the birth of child, to welcome them into the covenant. It could be for a girl child or a boy child. Offer to help the new mother.