What I just emailed my congregation to explain how I see life long learning.

When I was a kid my family never went to Disneyworld or Disneyland or even Cedar Point. It wasn’t educational enough. Our vacations were spent in the forests of Michigan museums of major cities or even one glorious trip to Europe where I learned while my mother did laundry in Paris the importance of learning a foreign language (or two or three). That is a story for another time.

Education was important to my family. It was always seen as a Jewish value. And it is. However, having just returned from Orlando, I have discovered that Disney can be an educational experience. That too is a story for another time.

Our synagogue has a vision statement with four planks. One of them is life-long learning. As I did with meaningful observance in a recent post, here is my vision of life-long learning as we approach my second three-year contract:

Life-long learning is precisely that. Life-long. Cradle to grave. I was recently in the home of a young mother with an infant. I was delighted to see the Jewish books on their shelves. For all members of the family, including the baby. PJ Library is a great resource for building a Jewish library in your homes for your children.http://www.pjlibrary.org/communities/jewish-federation-chicago/38  Singing Jewish songs with your young children, making hamantaschen, lighting Shabbat candles, searching for the Afikomen, activities that engage all the senses are important in early development and build a connection that lasts. I am delighted we have such a talented pre-school teacher in Wendy Barrash. She really motivates the young ones and they want to be at CKI!

Hebrew School and Torah School is important. Although the research shows it may not be the most important tool for inspiring kids to be adult Jews. I am thrilled that with the hard work of our dedicated director, Nina Finn, our teachers, our ed committee under the leadership of Sue Johnson and Barb Razowsky and our parents our school has grown from 17 kids when I got here to 39. The more critical mass we have the more fun we can have. Having an excellent Hebrew School, not just one that is “good enough” is a clear marketing point for the synagogue and one of the ways to grow the shul.

Part of what is making us successful has been the access to monies from two grant that enabled us to buy computers and desks as well as monies from the Clara Wechter fund. That fund is running dangerously low and we need to re-fund it so that it continues to be a source for special projects, teacher training, curriculum materials, etc.

Programs like Judaism Rocks and Mitkadem promote learning and fun. The best way to promote the excellent things that are happening is by word-of-mouth. Some of our newer families have come because they have learned about it from others in the community. Lifelong friendships—between the students obviously and maybe less apparently between the parents who hang out of Sunday mornings. If you look at the congregation’s current leadership team, many of them met hanging out on Sunday mornings bringing their kids to Torah School and becoming involved.

We need to continue to attract students past their Bar and Bat Mitzvah into Chai School and the youth group. Most of our students do continue through aiding in the Hebrew School or into our confirmation program. We need to make the case of why it is important for parents to bring their students to services.

When you read the literature about what makes adult Jews choose to remain involved (there is SO much that competes for all our time, not just the kids and extra-curricular activities.) there are four things that are mentioned consistently. Jewish summer camp, youth group, a college level course about Judaism and a trip to Israel.

Many of our students go to some kind of Jewish summer camp. If you need suggestions of what might be good for your child, please speak to me. Liza Bachrach together now with Elise Kleinman, has been doing a great job ensuring that our kids, 5^th grade to high school have the opportunity to be social outside of CKI within a Jewish context. I am excited about the new Jewish Student Connection that the Prairie Jewish Coalition together with CKI is sponsoring for all of our 8^th-high school school.  Particularly in these pivotal grades, critical mass is so important and many of our students feel isolated as Jews in their suburban high schools.

Birthright is a great opportunity for our students 18-26 to experience an all-expense paid 10-day trip to Israel. Many of our youth have now done it. Then expanding the experience through other opportunities to work, study or have an internship is a wonderful way to deepen our connection to the Jewish people and to the State of Israel. Encourage your young people to consider it.

Never been to Israel yourself? We are trying to put together a congregational trip. Nina Finn and Stew Levin are heading that committee. Interested in going. Make sure they know! It will be a life-changing experience.

In terms of adult learning, we have added a substantial number of programs since I have been here.  Rosh Hodesh looking at spirituality for each month. Kiddush Rountable to talk about Jews in the News. It would be my hope that as the congregation moves forward we have at least two formal adult learning opportunities per month. One that is inward facing and one that helps us to explain Judaism to the outside world. That could be Matzah in the Aisle or any of the fine programs co-sponsored with Big Tent Judaism. Something with Interfaithfamily.org and the wonderful work Rabbi Ari Moffic is doing. Something with National Jewish Outreach Project, like our new Adult Hebrew program or Shabbat Across America. Something with the Prairie Jewish Coalition, Gail Borden Library or some other venue.

I would like to suggest the following as well:

·      Taste of Limmud Elgin to encourage serious adult study. Possibly partnering with PJC.

·      Thursday Beit Midrash, house of study, where there might be two or three things offered that evening, one text based, one Hebrew, one “fun”

·      Exploring the possibility of having some of our lay leaders teach what they know. Classes could be but are not limited to Parsha Ha’shavua, Hebrew, Adult B’nei Mitzvah Class, Introduction to Judaism, American Jewish History through Food and Film. Jewish Art. Cooking. Jews in Baseball. The possibilities are limitless. If there is something you would like to teach, just let me know.

·      Pairing congregants up so that they can study themselves in some kind of chevruta relationship

·      Looking at Chai Mitzvah.

·      Exploring the possibility of a weekend retreat or Shabbaton

·      Scholar-in-residence weekend.

This March seems to be Adult Study month at CKI. Here are the offerings:

• Adult Hebrew. Every other Sunday morning. We met this past Sunday and we currently have 12 enrolled. Through a grant from the National Jewish Outreach Project this class is free to synagogue members. Not too late to join. Next class is Sunday, March 15.
• Java and Jews, March 3 at Starbucks in South Elgin at 8 AM, Blue Box in Elgin at 11:30 and Calibre at 5. A chance to spend time with the rabbi, explore a topic and get any questions answered you might have about Judaism.
• Instead of Intro to Judaism which we offered last year, this year we are offering a Passover Primer, a three part mini-series. People need hands-on, practical ways to celebrate Judaism. Did you know that Passover is the most celebrated of Jewish holidays? Whether you change your dishes over and do a full seder or just get together for a family meal, most Jewish families do something for Passover. However, it can be intimidating and stressful. We at CKI aim to take the stress out of Passover. So come join us for an hour and a half on Thursdays, one or all of the sessions.
• 7:00-8:30 PM, March 12, 19 and 26th
• March 12: Making a seder: From Charoset to Matzah Balls to Brisket, with Vegan, Gluten Free, Low Cholesterol and Diabetic friendly options. A hands-on tasting extravaganza. Recipes and shopping tips provided
• March 19 The Story of the Passover: How to Pick A Hagaddah that Works for You
• March 26: Diverse Seders in a Diverse World. New seder tips, tricks to engage everyone at your table. How do we include our interfaith relatives? What is the connection between Easter and Passover? What if my kid wants to dye eggs?

March 25th: the next Book Group meeting. Join us to discuss the book Eve.

Looking ahead, the fun continues.

April 3: 7:00-8:30 AM. Yes, that is AM! Fast of the First Born.
Ah Sweet Release! Release of the Israelites, Release of the Land, Release of Debts. A Modern look at Sh’mita.

Those of us who are “first born” are obligated to fast on the day before Pesach. Unless we complete studying something and can therefore celebrate! So come, one, come all, even if you are not a first born. We will look at the concept of Sh’mita since this is a sh’mita year.

Shabbat afternoon from April 4^th to Shavuot immediately following Kiddush. Text study of Pirke Avot. There are six chapters of this lovely piece of Talmud. Come learn the Wisdom of our Fathers as we move from Passover to Shavuaot, 49 days after the second night of Passover. We will do a chapter a week for about an hour.

Sunday, April 19^th at 6:30 PM as part of Yom HaShoah come hear Kurt Jacoby’s story of living in Shanghai ghetto during World War II. One of 23,000 Jews who lived in Shanghai, Kurt’s story is moving and poignant. And this year in particular it fits with our focus on learning about Jews around the world.

Every Shabbat there is an opportunity to learn together as we gather for services. Every time we discuss the news of the day from a Jewish perspective we are engaging in life long learning. The interesting thing is when deepening adult study and the Hebrew School, we actually build community at the same time!

What I just sent to my congregation about “meaningful observance”

Earlier this week I signed my contract for the next three years at Congregation Kneseth Israel. It was just three years ago that I heard of CKI, when I was sitting in Ogunquit trying to figure out my vision of my rabbinate. The director of placement at the Academy for Jewish Religion sent me CKI’s profile and by the end of the evening, my birthday, I had finished my application. Their vision of their synagogue and what they wanted from a spiritual leader and my vision were just that similar. I was excited. It seemed “beshert”, destined.

Their vision, now my vision, is that CKI is a place for meaningful observance, lifelong learning, embracing diversity and building community. Some days it is hard to separate those out. If we teach alef-bet Hebrew to adults and the students become friends, is that lifelong learning or building community? If we welcome people with physical disabilities by rolling the Torah up the aisle on the “shtender” is that embracing diversity or meaningful observance or building community?

I began writing my vision of my rabbinate for the next three years based on these four pillars. Today I want to share “Meaningful Observance”. I view this as a work in progress and something I do in partnership with the leadership of CKI, not in a vacuum by myself. That partnership is critical to our success and part of what CKI said that they wanted when that initial packet arrived via email to my hotel in Ogunquit.

Meaningful Observance:

When I arrived in Elgin for my demo weekend, I asked the ritual chairperson what he wanted out of services. He said, “Just make them meaningful.” I later learned that when Congregation Kneseth Israel was formulating its vision and had a series of focus groups and some surveying, only 17% of the congregation was interested in services. This statistic is not surprising, when you realize that the largest growing group of Jews are the ones according to the recent Pew Study are the “nones”, those that identify as Jews but are not “religious”.

Yet, people want something. Wedding couples say they want a “spiritual” ceremony, not a “religious” one. And still they want a chuppah, a glass, and seven blessings. All “religious” trappings.  People want me as the rabbi to be the observant one but they want to eat whatever they want and do whatever they want on Shabbat.

We have several opportunities to explore the spiritual side of Judaism. Tonight the Rosh Hodesh group will meet again at 7PM. We will focus on the new month of Adar, the one in which Purim falls, so we are commanded to “Be Happy, It’s Adar.” How does this commandment color the month? How can we address Tevye’s question, “How much longer can we be joyful, even when our hearts lie panting on the floor?”

The next opportunity to explore the “spiritual side” will be Saturday afternoon, February 28^th from 4-6. We will again have a mincha-havdalah service late in the afternoon. The service will last about an hour and will again be an opportunity to experience the gift of slowing down, being a little more meditative and focusing on healing of mind and spirit. Then we will conclude with havdalah, the brief poignant, bittersweet, service that separates Shabbat from the rest of the week. And food. There has to be food. That is part of meaningful observance and building community!

Purim also we be an opportunity to experience meaningful observance. And silliness. Which can be part of meaningful observance.

We at CKI do a pretty good job of meaningful observance. We rarely if ever lack a minyan (the last time was kever avot 5774). Something must be right. We have added the choir and the band back into the mix. People seem to like my sermons or discussions. They too deepen the conversation. They too are designed to build community. We have talented lay leaders who can lead most if not all of the service, some who can read or chant Haftarah and some who can read Torah.

And yet, sometimes services feel flat. And some people are intimidated by the amount of Hebrew (or something), even with transliteration guides. Parents say they are never coming on Saturday morning. Saturday afternoon experiences designed to lower the barriers, provide a shorter approach have been meaningful for the ones who have showed but have been under-attended.

The question comes up—do we play for those who are here or the ones that are not? Do we try to figure out why people aren’t here or what they may find meaningful? What is meaningful for those who are? This is a national conversation, and not just Jews. Churches struggle with the same issues.

I am not sure I have the answers to these questions yet, but it is what keeps me awake at night. One of the questions becomes what is meaningful to you may not be to your neighbor. What was meaningful in the last generation may not be today.

Questions that cross my desk frequently include, can we Skype a minyan? What about the cameras on Shabbat? What about our cell phones? What about music/ Whose music? What is the role of music? I like the old traditional music, I don’t want to learn new melodies. Do we need a kosher kitchen? Why can’t we have a potluck? Does wine need a hecksher? Why is scotch with honey not kosher? Why is Coke without a hecksher still considered kosher? What is meaningful about any of these questions?

Recently I received several questions about G-d. One told me that Jews don’t talk about G-d. I have heard this before. When I was an undergraduate, I went to the campus rabbi who explained in good Maimonides fashion that G-d is limitless and to discuss G-d is to put a limit on G-d so that was the end of the discussion.

I won’t ever do that. As Jews it is important to discuss G-d, even if we cannot as humans fully express our feelings. Even if human language is not adequate. In the morning service we say, “If our mouths overflowed with song as the sea, if our tongues surged with joy as the waves, if our lips could praise as endlessly as the sky, if our eyes could match the sun’s radiance, if our arms had the reach of eagles’ wings, if our legs could carry us as far as the deer, even then, our God and God of our ancestors, our thanks wouldn’t even come close to matching all the gifts You have given to our fathers, to our mothers, and to us.” And yet, from my perspective, we have to continue to try. And try again and again. That is the root of meaningful observance. Not because we have to, or from a sense of Jewish guilt, or because we have always done it before even if we don’t understand it, but because we want to, because it brings us closer to G-d.

I think what it is that people want when they talk about meaningful observance is something that is positive. Some clues to lead their lives in a positive way. A non-judgmental space where people don’t have to be afraid to discuss these very deep and meaningful topics without fear of reprisals. A place where they can be happy and celebrate joyful events or where they can be sad and receive the comfort they need. These are examples of meaningful observance. It is my sacred job to create that environment. I do so in partnership with my ritual committee.

So this month I will be reading two books. Finding Joy, a Kabbalistic Approach to Finding G-d and Making Prayer Real.

What do you mean by meaningful observance. What is it to you? How do you know when you have experienced it. Come partner with me to live out the vision. Come explore prayer. Come find meaning and community.

And, thanks for putting your trust in me. I am excited about the next three years.

Love is in the air. And while Valentine’s Day has its roots in Catholic tradition, and even earlier in pagan mythology, today we are going to talk about love and healthy relationships.

This has been an odd Valentine’s Day week. Three Jewish organizations have wanted me to do programming for Valentine’s Day. And perhaps that is an interesting commentary on assimilation, but that is a discussion for another day.

Yet is a far different cry from the year I worked for a synagogue that was renting space to a parachoical day school and the rabbi went through the building tearing child-made Valentine’s off the school bulletin boards.

American Jewish World Service, where I am a Global Justice Fellow asked me to ask my congregation to make Valentine’s for Senator Kirk. Why? Because he has been instrumental for his sponsorship of the International Violence Against Women Act. Tuesday night the women who gathered for our own sisterhood program on Love Poetry, did precisely that and the Valentines from throughout the Illinois will be hand-delivered on Thursday to his Chicago office.

There are many kinds of love. The Bible itself actually shows us some.

One story reads like a Hollywood script. Isaac is meditating in the field. He lifts up his eyes. He sees Rebecca. She alights from her camel. OK—she falls off her camel. Isaac took Rebecca to his mother’s tent and he loved her. The first time the word, ahava, love is used in the Torah. He was comforted by her after his mother, Sarah, had died.

We are told to honor our father and mother. To love our neighbor as ourselves. To love G-d with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our might. Each of these tells us about a different kind of love. Love of parents. Love of neighbor. Love of G-d.

But we have other examples of love gone awry. Abraham threw away Ishmael and then tried to sacrifice Isaac. He died alone, not able to reconcile with his two sons.

Cain killed Abel because he thought that G-d couldn’t love both of them. He was afraid there wasn’t enough love to go around. We have similar issues of sibling rivalry with Jacob and Esau. We have Issac loving Esau and Rebecca loving Jacob. They are playing favorites. Again, there seems to not be enough love to go around. This continues with Jacob favoring Joseph with that famous Technicolor dream coat. So much that Joseph’s brothers want to kill him. They leave him in a well for dead and then sell him into slavery.

We are not able to legislate a feeling. You can’t make someone love someone else, but this morning’s portion, called Mishpatim, laws and many of the subsequent ones are about how set up a society based on trust. It tells us to take care of the widow, the orphan, the stranger, the most marginalized among us.

Taken together, the laws in the Torah teach us how to live in a relationship.Taken together, they teach us that there is enough love to go around.  Every day we thank G-d for G-d’s love of us, for giving us Torah, for setting those limits, like a parent does for a child. Then we pledge to love G-d with all our heart, soul and might. And teach those very words diligently to our own children.

Jewish Women International declared that this Shabbat is Shabbat L’Amour, the Sabbath of Love. We at Congregation Kneseth Israel are participating as part of this approach. What does our Jewish tradition teach us about healthy relationships? How can we prevent violence in our own lives.

We began this conversation last night. One woman correctly said that it begins with finding inner peace. We talked about Shalom Aleichem, the song to welcome Shabbat, greeting the angels of Shabbat and each other.

Rabbi Susan Shankman teaches the classic midrash about this song: every Friday night, Jews are accompanied home from synagogue by two angels. When the angels arrive, if everything is prepared, the table is set, the house is clean, and the family dressed for Shabbat, the good angel says, “So may it be next Shabbat,” and the evil angel is obligated to say, “Amen.” If, however, the home is in disarray, the food burnt, and the family not ready to greet the Sabbath – or, even worse, engaged in arguments – the evil angel says, “So may it be next Shabbat,” and the good angel is obligated to say, “Amen.”

But she adds an important piece: It is worth noting that neither angel says, “May it always be so.” The phrase, “So may it be next Shabbat” reminds us that the possibility of real change exists at all times. Indeed each and every Shabbat gives us the opportunity to be inspired to make a distinction between the ordinary and the sacred. Each week we are given the chance to devote new energy toward creating peace.

Then using JWI’s conversation guide we talked about what Shalom Bayit looks like in our own home. We asked how we can ensure our relationships, our romantic ones and non-romantic ones can be blessed from week to week. And we talked about what we want to bless our children with—peace, love, happiness, a good night’s sleep, the gift of a good name and living up to that good name.

Shabbat can help us create those blessings, including Shalom Bayit. It is the pause that refreshes. It is, as we sing in V’shamru, the sign of the covenant between G-d and the children of Israel for all time. It is a sign of G-d’s love for us. We are told to keep the Sabbath, to guard it, to make it holy. We used to observe the Sabbath by offering special sacrifices in the Holy Temple. We no longer have the Temple today but we still make the time and space of Shabbat holy. Part of how we do that is by making our own homes a mikdash me’at, a little Temple, a sanctuary, by creating festive meals and gathering around the table. By setting aside the time. By lighting candles and making Kiddush.

Rabbi Seth Winberg points out that we are good at guarding our houses. We are attentive to fixing leaks and cracks, cleaning the kitchen. But guarding our homes is about more than the physical integrity. It is about that shalom bayit. The Haftarah this morning also talked about this. People would give money to the priests to make the repairs needed to the Temple. They were not necessarily doing them. They violated the people’s trust. The king had to step in and restore that trust, that shalom bayit. He needed to heal a relationship that was broken. That is never easy.

Many of us have a mezuzah on the door to our homes. Some kiss it on the way in; some on the way out. This visible sign serves as a reminder to speak about the words of Torah at home and on the way, when we lie down and when we rise up. Recently we added one to the door to the garage. Why? Because that is the way we usually go in and out. It is a physical sign to leave the outside world with all of its busy-ness, hurriedness, petty arguments, heavy baggage outside and to concentrate on creating that sanctuary inside our home. We are also trying to put our electronic devices down through meals—again trying to concentrate on each other and create that holy space, that mikdash me’at.

In some families, at that festive Shabbat table, they read Eshet Chayil, from Proverbs 31:10-31. It begins, “A Woman of Valor, who can find, for her price is far above rubies.” In our house we use it as a check list. Yes, I gave food to my workers. Yes, I rose while it was still night. Yes, I reached out my hands to the needy. No, despite its beauty, I still fear when it snows (and yes, I am worried about the blizzard affecting Boston this weekend). No I don’t always open my mouth with kindness. That is the one that is the hardest for me to work on. And if I could consistently, that mikdash me’at would be much more holy.

My mother, the feminist, hated this reading. She felt it objectified women. So we did not use it at her funeral, although it is used at many and is midrashically linked as Abraham’s eulogy for Sarah. I disagreed with my mother.

The woman portrayed in Eshet Chayil, is a accomplished, active, modern woman. She buys property, invests her money, manages the home and takes care of the children and her husband who rise up and call her blessed. They show their love and devotion to her.

It is an opportunity as well for the man of the house to express publically that he cherishes his wife. To appreciate her. In our house we also read part of Psalm One, praising the man of the house, so that there is a parallel opportunity to express appreciation.

Jewish Women International asked some important questions about Eshet Chayil in their guide for Shabbat L’Amour. Do you feel valued and appreciated? For what would you like to be acknowledged? How can you convey that to your partner, colleagues and friends? Is it difficult to receive a compliment? Do you say thank you or it was nothing? How does your response affect the person giving the compliment? What is so hard about receiving praise?

The guide contains several useful tools from our tradition for creating this sense of peace. Baking challah. Preparing a meal and even doing the dishes together so no one is unduly burdened. It is centered around peace, gratitude and renewal. I remember fondly the rabbi at Tufts saying, “Eat s l o w l y. It’s Shabbes.”

Today was also Shabbat Shekelim, one of the special Sabbaths with an extra reading. Essentially a census taking and a half-shekel tax, it tells the Israelites that they need to stand up and be counted.

Later in the day, I stood up and was counted. At the Gail Borden Library, I stood and I danced and I prayed as part of The Long Red Line. We wove a long red line of scarves. We marched through the rotunda of the library to say never again. We were over 100 strong. We were a coalition of the Community Crisis Center, Coalition of Elgin Religious Leaders, the Elgin Police Department, the Fox Valley Citizens for Peace and Justice, Elgin Community College and the YWCA to name some of us. It is part of a wider international movement, One Billion Rising. One in three women experience violence against them. That is one billion women worldwide. I am one of those women. I am a survivor. I am lucky. I had people all along the way teach me how to survive. I have become a success story and so I speak out and tell others that they too can survive. And I pray that it does not happen to any other women, even as I know it does and it will. So I act.

So I  rise to say NO MORE. Violence is never OK.

This is the prayer that I wrote and I read:

We rise.
We rise and we pray.
We pray and we march.
Our feet are praying.

We pray and we rise.

For the victims of violence everywhere.
For the women and the girls,
The men and the boys.
For the survivors of violence.
We pray for the survivors.

For the courage.
For the courage we need.
To put one foot in front of another
Just to survive
For the courage to rise
To stand up and be counted
To speak up
To say that violence is not the answer
Violence is not OK
Violence is never OK.

We rise and we pray.

But rising and praying is not enough.
It is the first step.
It is only the first step.

We rise and we pray that we act.

We pledge to act:
To end child abuse.
To end child marriage
To end the dehumanization of women
To end rape
To end domestic violence.
To end violence

We pray and we rise.

Please join with me as we take that first step. We rise, with one billion other people, all over the world. We join our feet, our hands with them as we put our fingers in the air. We are one billion rising. Amen.

Then we stood, with our single fingers in the air. It felt like all the pieces of my life were coming together as one. It was a very powerful moment. And we took the first step forward. What are the steps you can take?

• You can begin at home, by creating a holy space, a mikdash me’at, filled with shalom bayit, peace of the house.
• You can create holy time, celebrating Shabbat.
• You can appreciate the people around you and remember to say thank you.
• You can create an attitude of gratitude.
• You can model how be in healthy relationships, with parents, with children, with partners, with communities, with congregations and with G-d.
• You can tell people that you love them.
• You can know that you are lovable. That you are loved.
• You can join others in coalitions such as One Billion Rising, Jewish Women International, American Jewish World Service, the Community Crisis Center.
• You can sign the petition asking Congress to pass the International Violence Against Women Act. https://secure.ajws.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=661
• If you are a victim or survivor, reach out for help. Contact the Community Crisis Center’s 24 hour a day hotline. http://www.crisiscenter.org at 847 697 4088. They have amongst the most talented crisis counselors I have ever worked with.

What a good way to celebrate Valentine’s Day from within a Jewish context. Love. It is in the air. Now off to enjoy dinner and a movie with my husband, snuggled by the fire. A rare evening at home. Grateful for heat, and light and warmth, good food and a loving husband.

I just sent this to my congregation to help explain three important things about community. It seemed like it might help other people too, wherever you are.

I just spoke to someone who works for the State of Illinois. He is not working today. It is Lincoln’s Birthday. I remember Lincoln’s Birthday so fondly as a kid in Evanston. We always built a Lincoln Log cabin as a centerpiece. It was fun. Somehow President’s Day isn’t quite the same thing.

Here at Congregation Kneseth Israel we are trying to do a better job of celebrating birthdays. Our president now sends out an email to each member that has a birthday that month inviting them to a special Shabbat service to honor all the birthdays of that month. Then we have a special birthday blessing and a very special, beautifully decorated, home made, yummy birthday cake.

Why is this important? Because it is part of community. Because we like to celebrate the joyous things. Because individuals want to be acknowledged and recognized.

We recognize individuals in other ways as well. We maintain a misheberach list. A list of people who need prayers, blessings for healing—of body or spirit. This list now gets updated weekly. We recently sent an email to everyone who added someone to the list to see if their person(s) should still be listed. Sometimes the names get announced from the bimah, but only if I have the permission of the person requesting the misheberach. Some names are added by the people who are sitting in the congregation that service. Most of the names get read silently while we are singing.

Is the misheberach list just for those in the hospital? No. Is it just for people who have a serious illness? No. The prayer asks for a complete or full healing for mind, body and spirit. It could be for someone who has a long-term disability, who is suffering from a chronic illness, who spirit needs boosting. You don’t have to say why you are adding the name to the list.

It is important to know with the relatively new HIPPA laws, the hospitals cannot call us to tell us you are in the hospital so unless you or a friend or relative call, we do not know. And we do not share that information unless you give us permission. So call us. We care.

If you, yourself are in need of healing, you may need other things. Meals, transportation to medical appointments, babysitting, shoveling. These are things your CKI community can help with. It is part of being community.

The third way we acknowledge people is with our yahrzeit list. This is the list of people whose anniversary of death we are commemorating. Our ritual chairperson, Paul Glaser, will send you a letter about a month in advance reminding you of the upcoming date.

Since we do not have a daily minyan, service, we read these names on Shabbat. There is no Jewish law that dictates whether we read those names on the Shabbat before or the Shabbat after. We have decided to read on the Shabbat before. What happens if the yahrzeit is actually a Friday? We read on the Friday before because by the time services start, it is really the next day in the Jewish tradition. We can be flexible with this. Just let me know when you want the name read.

We recently discovered that Paul’s letter and the list in HaKol did not agree on the dates. Both lists were computer generated. We think we have fixed the glitch but if you have any questions, please call me.

Some congregations have the tradition of people rising for mourner’s kaddish only if they are saying kaddish for a loved one. Some congregations, especially since the Holocaust, have the tradition of always rising for mourner’s kaddish. Here, where we embrace diversity, we have some who stand and some who sit. I will usually say, “If you are reciting Kaddish for a love one or always have the tradition of standing, please join with me.”

This is yet another way we acknowledge people and a way we building community. Another way we build community is by sponsoring a Kiddush or Oneg Shabbat. Some have a tradition of sponsoring for a simcha—a birthday, an anniversary, a retirement. Some for a yahrzeit. Sitting around eating and schmoozing is part of what we are all about.

I am sitting in a coffee shop, a Starbucks. One of three “coffees” of the day. (OK, now I am sitting at Calibre watching the snow fall. It’s beautiful but not spring.)

Tonight is the holiday of Tu B’shevat, the new year of the trees, the 15th of the month of Shevat. The moon seemed full last night. The snow sparkled in the moon light and I was reminded again of the story of the Wise Men of Chelm who wanted to collect all the diamonds that fell from heaven. More snow will fall later today. But half way around the globe, the sun is shining and it is starting to warm up. The Almond trees are starting to bloom and we pause to celebrate earliest spring, our relationship to the earth and our responsibility to care for it.

My congregation celebrated early. Last Friday night, as we combined Kabbalat Shabbat services with a Tu B’shevat seder. We sang, we read poetry about trees and we had four cups of wine from winter white to full bodied harvest red. We sampled fruits and nuts. Some with no protective covering but an inside pit. Some with a hard outer shell and completely edible inside. Some that are completely edible. Each type represents a different kind of person. Some have a hard inner piece that is difficult to crack, to get to know. Some are hard to crack and are soft inside. Some are completely transparent. Some have good deeds and Torah learning. Some have one or the other.

This service is always meaningful. There is something magical about turning the wine from white to red and thinking about the seasons. Some people think this is a new service. And in the United States it has increased in popularity in the last couple of decades. So for some it is new. In actuality it was first written by the Kabbalist rabbis in Tzefat (Safed) in the 1600s. They understood the connection to the land as they would go out to the fields and greet Shabbat in their white clothes. They gave us the Kabbalat Shabbat service, Lecha Dodi and the Tu B’shevat seder. It is quite a legacy.

These days Tu B’shevat has become the Jewish environmental holiday. It is more than buying a tree to plant in Israel by the Jewish National Fund—although we still do that. This year it is also a shmita year. Typically called the Sabbatical year, the word actually means release. Hazon has a wonderful resource guide about Shmita.

So as I sit here sipping my coffee I wonder about ethically sourcing our coffee and our chocolate. (and our tea–now I am sipping Moroccan Mint tea).

Starbucks is committed to using fair trade coffee, but they said to me that some of the fair trade coffees don’t sell as well. All of Starbucks coffee is kosher. Much of it right now is certified Kosher for Passover as well. At Blue Box Café they only use fair trade coffee supplied by Metropolis. The coffee at Calibre is also fair trade from Metropolis. I love using local merchants and small batch roasted coffee.

In my office we only serve fair trade coffee although the Hershey’s syrup I keep in the refrigerator is not fair trade. This bothers me.

On the other hand, I am a big supporter of Equal Exchange, one of my pet organizations. Started by my mother’s best friend from 3rd grade, Jean Mason, it provides opportunities to buy fair trade coffee, chocolate, tea and gifts. They also provide opportunities for non-profit organizations to fundraise responsibly. I dream of using them extensively for the synagogue’s needs.

Our gift shop buys lots of Judaica that is fair trade. One other source is Fair Trade Judaica. I am proud to be sitting here wearing my Guatemalan made kippah that I bought at Congregation Kneseth Israel during my demo weekend.

But I am not sure I have made the case yet. Why is this a Jewish issue? Because Judaism talks about protecting the rights of the widow, the orphan, the stranger, the most marginalized amongst us. Because Judaism teaches us how to leave the corners of the land for those who are hungry. Because Judaism requires us to feed the hungry. Because Judaism teaches that the highest form of tzedakah is to give anonymously or to help someone become self-sufficient. It is the “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.” That’s why microfinancing makes sense. That’s why buying fair trade makes sense. It is good economically. It is good for raising people out of poverty. It is good at reducing violence world-wide. These are all Jewish values. Torah values put into action today.

I am a proud member of T’ruah, Rabbis for Human Rights North America. It is a network of 1800 rabbis spanning the diversity of Judaism. Amongst the issues it works diligently on includes preventing trafficking, human issues around the globe, race relations and providing living wages for even those in this country who pick our fruits and vegetables. Together with the Coalition of Immokalee Workers, they have worked with McDonalds, Trader Joe’s and others to raise the price per pound on tomatoes. It amounts to a penny more a pound. Wendy’s remains the largest hold-out. Truah asks:

“Who picks the food that you eat? How much are they paid? Would you pay a penny more for better wages for the workers who pick your food? Every year, from September until May, millions of tomatoes are harvested by farm-workers in Florida and shipped all around the country. But their earnings have not changed in 30 years. As Gerardo Reyes, a member of the Coalition of Immokalee Workers, told T’ruah rabbis: “We want dignity. We want the ability to feed our families and not rely on handouts.””

But Truah also works on issues in Israel as well. Israel is complicated. Israel is important. Let’s revisit those principles. Feed the hungry. Take care of the widow, the orphan, the stranger. Justice, Justice shall you pursue. Seek peace and pursue it. And as it relates to trees, we learn the principle of bal taschit, you shall not destroy. “When you besiege a city a long time, in making war against it to take it, you shall not destroy the trees by wielding an axe against them” (Deuteronomy 20:19).

I would say that one of the problems in Israel and the West Bank is cutting down trees (clearly against the prohibition in Deuteronomy) of Palestinian families. Tru’ah has a program unique for Tu B’shevat that helps restore these trees, both in Israel and on the West Bank. This may not be popular given ongoing tensions in Israel and the Palestinian Authorities. However, we as Jews are commanded to be hopeful. We are commanded to seek peace and pursue it. As Rabbi Amy Eilberg in her book, From Enemy to Friend, points out that the two verbs, seek and pursue, are necessary because we need to seek in our place and pursue it in another. “The two verbs, they suggest, convey different elements of the command: seek peace when conflict comes to your doorstep, but do not stop there. You must vigorously pursue opportunities to practice peace, near and far. We must reach beyond our homes and comfort zones, relentlessly seeking opportunities to pursue peace. For it is the work that God commands of us.”

This past weekend I read a poem in honor of the Israeli soldiers that were killed last week keeping Israel safe. It begins, the young soldiers do not speak. It ends pleading that we are the ones to give their deaths meaning. 33 years ago that same day I lost someone very dear to me, another Israeli solider fighting to keep Israel safe. For 33 years I have been a peacenik. I cannot, after that loss, be anything else.

But this year is a shmita year, so we don’t plant in Israel. We take care of the land. We let it rest. We release people and debts. Maybe it is a way of making peace. Tr’uah has found just such a way. By planting and replacing olives trees in the West Bank and by planting seeds of justice in Israel itself. By teaching rabbinical students exactly how to do this. This year, for Tu B’shevat,  I will donate to Truah. It will keep Yuval’s memory alive. It will give meaning to all those recent deaths.

So on this Tu B’shevat, I will drink four cups of wine. I will buy fair trade coffee and chocolate. And I will plant peace and justice. Peace, I pray in Israel and a justice in the form of a tree on the West Bank. In that way I will fulfill the command to bal tashchit, to not destroy. In that way I will protect this glorious world, G-d’s amazing Creation. I urge you to do likewise.

Six more weeks of winter, so says Punxsutawney Phil. And while I enjoyed the movie, Ground Hog Day, I have mixed feelings about Ground Hog Day as a holiday. You see, I was born at a quarter to midnight on February 1, and my mother always said she thought I was going to be a ground hog and go in for six more weeks.

Yesterday was amazing. In Chicagoland we had a blizzard which somehow seemed appropriate since there was a blizzard the day I was born. I spent the morning working out on the elliptical and felt so alive. I set a new personal record for time and distance. It was a shehechianu moment. A chance to thank G-d for sustaining me and enabling me to reach this point.

Safe from inside it was a good opportunity to watch the dog frolic in the snow and the birds enjoy the bird feeder. Such variety and color, juncos, chickadees, cardinals, and a flock of something I couldn’t identify, even with Petersen’s guide book.

The rest of the day was devoted to sports. And that’s really what I want to talk about.

I am a sports fan. I was a sports reporter and editor in college. I run. I hike. And for fun, I watch sports. Mostly football, basketball and baseball. But let’s reiterate. This is for fun. There are plenty of days sitting on the couch next to my husband where the game is so close or so frustrating I vow, yes vow, I am never going to do this again. And I break that vow by the next weekend.

As a sports fan, this has been a tough year. Earlier in the year I predicted the death of football. There are too many problems.

I have been a Patriots fan since Super Bowl XX when we couldn’t find any Sam Adams (Sold out) so we bought Dos Equis XX. I have loved watching Tom Brady, since he was a Michigan quarterback. Since he bailed out the Patriots when rew Bledsoe was injured in what was a magical, second half of the season story. I have loved Bob Kraft and his wife Myra, for their commitment to philanthropy, for their commitment to the Boys and Girls Club, for Israel and for the Jewish community. My love of the Patriots runs deep. Red and blue.

But cheating? This is important stuff. I am a rabbi. I try to lead a moral and ethical life. What is going on here? I spent two weeks being crushed. I canceled the idea of me having a Super Bowl party (and it was my birthday!) The Boston Globe ran an important article about how to talk to your kids about this topic. http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2015/01/22/what-can-tell-kids-about-deflategate/j228TLkXz4Cj8cRYFKkzCJ/story.html

I tried to do precisely that at Hebrew School. It didn’t work well. And yet, I remember my Girl Scout handbook saying so clearly, “It isn’t whether you win or lose; it is how you play the game.” The Patriots have become the team people love to hate. Partly because they have become so good. Partly because they have not avoided the look of impropriety. So I read every article.

What finally made me feel OK about it, not good, just OK, were two articles. One from the New York Times. Never Patriots fans they hired their own physicists and concluded it could be the weather. (Doesn’t explain why the Colts balls seemed to be OK). Another one my cousin posted saying that the NFL wanted you to believe this stuff. He was posting as an attorney. http://tanyarayfox.weebly.com/blog/how-the-nfl-made-a-fool-of-you-with-deflategate

Head injuries—a life or death matter—head my list. A 25% reduction in head injuries is not good enough. I remember watching a college game between University of Michigan and Delaware State. In terms of size and physicality, there was no comparison. I remember thinking that the administration had no business sending those kids out to do battle with Michigan and risk their injuries just for TV revenues. The response to those I was watching with is that the kids want to do it. It might be their chance to be discovered.

But that doesn’t quite cut it for me. There was a recent haunting story on NPR about Northwestern’s attempt to unionize. It seems that colleges don’t always do a good job helping players who get injured, or even with completing their college degrees which is the ultimate goal—not getting a NFL berth.

Yet, I still seem to want to watch. This story explains some of it.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2015/01/27/381963930/why-do-we-love-football-so-much-theater-tackles-tough-questions

OK—I get it. As I did watching a poorly played Michigan-Northwestern game. It is about being part of something bigger. It is about feeling connected. It is a community. All the same things we say about religion, meaning to tie back up into. Simon talks about sitting in the Michigan stadium and feeling close to his father. So when I jokingly say there are two religions in this house, Judaism and Michigan football I am closer than I think.

But still. If the injuries were not enough, then we have the domestic violence question. It is never OK to hit another person. The NFL has consistently missed the mark on disciplining sports superstars (I can’t call them heros) who batter wives or girlfriends. They seem to think they are above the law. Or maybe they won’t get caught. Or maybe since they are trained to be aggressive on the field, that carries over to bars, hotel rooms, elevators and their own homes. Domestic violence is never OK. Period.

So the NFL ran an ad. http://fox8.com/2015/02/01/first-ever-commercial-addressing-domestic-violence-to-air-during-super-bowl/ A chilling, haunting ad. And the response has been mixed. I would like to think it helped. It may have raised awareness. It may have given one woman a tool to use. But I don’t think the NFL has put its money where its mouth is. And believe me, the NFL has lots of money.

In my early days of working on domestic violence issues we learned that Super Bowl Sunday is the largest day for domestic violence issues. While that may not be exactly the case, the calls to hotlines do go up. If you are reading this the morning after and need to make a safety plan, the national domestic violence hotline is 1−800−799−7233.

Then it was game time. The controversies faded into the background. I watched every play. I held my breath for the last 2 minutes. Did the game go the way I hoped? Yes. Does the NFL, college and even high school and Pop Warner have ongoing issues? You bet. Maybe this off season, we will begin to see real solutions to real problems. I challenge all of us to work towards that. This can’t just be Ground Hog Day.

The last blog post I published was about balance. I am still working on achieving it. That may be why I haven’t written much lately. Topics I considered but didn’t make it to paper include: France and Nigeria. Martin Luther King Day and the role of Jews in Civil Rights. Inflategate and Cheating. Healing and Curing. Birthdays. I’ll get there.

I am going to start with Healing and Curing.

The rabbis of the Talmud had it right, 2000 years ago, they understood that if even one of our arteries or values were blocked we could not praise G-d’s name.

“Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who formed us with wisdom and created within us many openings and many hollows. It is obvious and known before Your Throne of Glory that if even one of them ruptures, or if even one of them becomes blocked, it would be impossible to survive and to stand before You (even for a short period). Blessed are You, Lord, Who heals all flesh and acts wondrously.”

Some people chuckle at this prayer because it is also known as the bathroom prayer. However, it is included in many morning services as a prayer for healing. One person once told me that there are no prayers in Judaism for going to the bathroom, since that is not “holy.” However, if you go into any traditional Jewish day school you will find this prayer posted right outside the bathroom.

I find it a profound prayer.

When my mother was sick I had the feeling that anyone of the numerous specialists: cardiologist, pulmonologist, endocrinologist, dermatologist, (they all end is ist, including the hospitalist!) could have kept any one of her organs going indefinitely.

But the rabbis were right, the body is a finely balanced network and the physicians couldn’t keep all of it going together at the same time. For my mother, who struggled with lung issues as long as I can remember (DON’T SMOKE!), the ultimate issue seemed to be a balance between kidney function and liver function. And then there was a heart attack. Her body was shutting down.

At some point it became clear to us that we could not cure her. Nothing medicine could offer would restore her quality of life. She would never go back to her apartment with all of her books, her collections, her holiday decorations. She wasn’t going to be able to work at Borders or serve on the many boards she was still on. She wouldn’t be able to drive to the grocery store or her doctors.

And yet, two rabbis and I stood at her bedside and sang the last verse of “Adon Olam,” with a lovely Debbie Friedman melody which reminds me of a lullaby. The English is:

“Into G-d’s hand I commit my spirit, my breath
When I sleep and when I wake
And with my spirit, my body
The Lord is with me, and I will not fear.”

You might ask, why was this important when my mother, while always active in the Jewish community, was never sure about the Lord being with her. Since then I have stood at many bedsides. I wrestle with the same question. What difference does this prayer make? What difference does any prayer make—we can’t possibly cure people with prayer. Or can we?

I grew up in a medically savvy household. My father was a medical school professor with a specialty in genetics and cell biology. He was the leading expert in the olfactory of the crab’s nose. My mother was a medical researcher with major credits including Metformin, the drug used to treat diabetes and Ensure. Science ruled the house. If it wasn’t able to be seen through a microscope, it wasn’t real. Bedside manner didn’t matter so much.

But there is good research now that prayer, meditation, yoga, can reduce stress and increase healing. I am not going to provide a full bibliography here, but one interesting study was at Brandeis (a school my parents respected), http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090617154401.htm

Apparently some of what is important is in knowing that others care about you, that you have a community surrounding you. It makes you less isolated, less alone. It is a burden that is shared. Some of it is in believing that there is something beyond yourself. Some of it is in slowing down, acknowledging the fears and reducing stress. Reducing stress is always a good thing. Prayer can do all of those things.

Recently I hosted a mincha havdalah service late on a Shabbat winter afternoon, specifically to talk about healing. While preparing for it, I realized that almost every major Jewish federation now has a pamphlet, booklet, link something to hand to Jewish patients who are wrestling with some of these same issues. Amongst my favorite compilations came from Chicago’s Jewish Child and Family Services, http://www.jcfs.org/sites/default/files/uploads/documents/JHNC%20Jewish%20Prayers%20%20Reflections%20on%20Healing1.08.pdf Chicago has a Jewish Healing Network, also run by JCFS, specifically Rabbi Joe Osarowski, who has done some training of Congregation Kneseth Israel’s own Bikkur Holim committee.

We’ve come a long way as a Jewish community. We can pray for healing, as individuals and as a community.

Jews have understood the positive connection between mind, body and spirit. We see it in the traditional misheberach and in the version by Debbie Friedman. “The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit.” That’s what we pray for. Not one or the other, but both.

Recently I stood at the foot of another patient in ICU, singing that same Adon Olam, softly, gently.The nurse and I watched as the blood pressure dropped to near normal levels. Can I cure that patient? No. I went to rabbinical school, not to medical school. But I can provide a calming presence and that alone can be healing.

One of my favorite Psalms appears in lots of these guides to healing. Psalm 121 says

I lift up my eyes to the mountains, from where comes my help? My help comes from the Lord….
God will not let your foot slip. (So important when I am mountain climbing, again it is about balance)
God will watch over you, guard you. God will not slumber.
God will not slumber nor sleep.
God will watch over your coming and your going, now and forevermore.

I link this to Adon Olam.

Into Your hand, I commit my soul. While I am awake and while I sleep. I will not fear.

When I went to Weight Watchers this week, I was reminded of an important word, sustainability. It feels good to get back on track after the holidays. All of the holidays. Undoubtedly some of you made New Year’s Resolutions. I wrote my annual New Year’s letters. I was pleased that I had achieved many of my goals and expectations from last year and know that I still have a lot of work on some of them. I outlined my goals for the year. Some of them are doable. Some are probably not. Climbing Kathadin in Maine is perpetually on the list it seems. And while I did not finish the Disney Princess Half Marathon, I completed five other races and I raised, together with Sarah, and many of you, over $5000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

But then my friend and colleague, Rabbi Evan Moffic, also wrote about New Year’s goals. He only achieved two of his from last year and wondered if that was a failure. http://www.rabbimoffic.com/fail-achieve-goals/#more-1228 He concludes no because the real goal is to move towards are goals. We are not off the hook. Quoting Pirke Avot, he says that “ours is not to finish the task, neither are we free to ignore it.”

Endings and beginnings. Beginnings and endings. This week’s parsha is about endings. It is the last of Genesis. It is the last of the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Jacob blesses his sons, leaving them in Egypt with an important legacy. He blesses them and tells the truth about them.

But this same parsha links us back to the beginning. The Talmud hints at this when describing this parsha, and I learned it from my teacher, Rabbi Michael Pitkowsky:

Until Abraham there was no such thing as [the sign of] old age. Whoever saw Abraham thought, “This is Isaac.” Whoever saw Isaac thought, “This is Abraham.” Abraham prayed for mercy so that he might have [signs of] old age, as it is said, “And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age” (Gen. 24:1). Until the time of Jacob there was no such thing as illness, so he prayed for mercy and illness came about, as it is written, “And someone told Joseph, behold, your father is sick: (Gen. 48:1). “Until the time of Elisha, no one who was sick ever got well. Elisha came along and prayed for mercy and got well, as it is written, “Now Elisha had fallen sick of the illness of which he died” (2 Kings 13:14) [Sanhedrin 107b; Bava Metzia 87a-trans. Jacob Neusner]

We learn from this that our children are our legacy, and a new beginning. We learn that for the first time there is a concept of old age. We learn that we can use words to pray for healing.

A new year is a beginning as well. In the book, Seven Questions You Are Asked in Heaven, we learn that one of those questions is did you leave a legacy.

What is your legacy? What do you want to tell your children and grandchildren? What’s important to you? How do you tell that story?

Sometimes it feels like a quest for balance.

Sometimes I look at a Jewish Star, a Magen David, and try to figure out the balance I need.

What do you put in the center? Maybe yourself? Maybe G-d.

What are the points?

Maybe Torah, Gemilut Chasadim, Avodah, since those are the three things the world is sustained by. They can be broader. Torah could be any study. Gemilut Chasdim could reflect social justice/tikkun loam or community. Avodah could be divine service or work.

Maybe Torah, Israel, G-d.

Or Work, Family, Health, Community, Friends?

What if for each of your points you write one goal for the year. Perhaps then we can find balance. Then when it comes time for you to bless your children and give them a legacy, you will be able to honestly bless them.

Recently I finished reading Anita Diamant’s new book, Boston Girl. It is essentially an oral history lesson between a granddaughter and her 85 year old grandmother. Sprinkled throughout the stories of Addie Baum’s life are pearls of wisdom she shares with her granddaughter. Like it is better to be kind than smart. What pearls are you leaving your children?

Collected together these pearls become an ethical will. Jacob’s blessings are also a kind of ethical will. Writing an ethical will, very different from a last will and testament that divides property, can be a good way to start the new year—and coupled with updating my advance directive/living will/health care proxy, something I want to tackle as one of my goals.

It is a new year. Next week we start a new book of Torah. What will the new year bring for you? What goals will you set for yourself? What will be sustainable?

This took me two days to write and a lifetime to think about. It began when I was in Charlevoix because I received this question twice on Christmas Eve.

I am in one of the most beautiful places on earth, Charlevoix, Michigan. It is known as Charlevoix the Beautiful. whose tagline is “Once in a blue moon there is a Charlevoix.” It is indeed beautiful and I am lucky that I get to enjoy it. Frequently. It is a place I return to again and again to recharge, watch Lake Michigan sunsets, eat smoked whitefish and spend time with family. Even the cloudy, rainy weather we had this trip was beautiful. Some people say it is paradise. But Paradise is up the road a piece, over the Big Mac bridge in the Upper Peninsula. And Hell, well that’s outside of Ann Arbor. Really. Hell, Michigan. You can buy a bumper sticker there that says, “I’ve been to Hell (Michigan) and back.”

It is almost secular New Year’s and people seem to be reflective. Myself included. Several times in the last week I was asked as a rabbi what do Jews believe happen after we die. Of course, there is no one answer in Judaism. Perhaps one answer would be easier. People want answers. Telling people that there is a range of opinion does not help someone going through a medical crisis trying to find their own answer or the kid on the playground trying to answer his friends.

Nonetheless, here are the “standard” Jewish beliefs:

The concept of a life after death is actually very Jewish. You could say that the Israelites invented it. There are hints about it in the Hebrew Bible. The rabbis talked about Olam Habah, the world to come. They were vague on what that would be like. However, you could lose your place in the world to come if you embarrassed someone in public. Some see the world to come as a higher state of being, whatever that means.

In the Talmud, Olam Habah is referred to this way: “This world is like a lobby before the Olam Ha-Ba. Prepare yourself in the lobby so that you may enter the banquet hall.” It also says that “This world is like the eve of Shabbat, and the Olam Habah is like Shabbat. He who prepares on the eve of Shabbat will have food to eat on Shabbat.” Abraham Joshua Heschel developed this idea more fully in his book The Sabbath.

“The Sabbath is a reminder of the two worlds–this world and the world to come; it is an example of both worlds. For the Sabbath is joy, holiness, and rest; joy is part of this world; holiness and rest are something of the world to come.”

All Israel has a share in the world to come. However the focus in Judaism seems to be on this world. “Be not like servants who serve their master for the sake of receiving a reward; instead, be like servants who serve their master not for the sake of receiving a reward, and let the awe of Heaven “ Pirke Avot 1:3.

But Judaism, even the book Pirke Avot, has more than one opinion. “Rabbi Yaakov would say: This world is comparable to the antechamber before the World to Come. Prepare yourself in the antechamber, so that you may enter the banquet hall. He would also say: A single moment of repentance and good deeds in this world is greater than all of the World to Come. And a single moment of bliss in the World to Come is greater than all of the present world.” (Pirke Avot, Chapter 4) I think we want to believe that our actions for good have some power to change the decree and what our reward maybe. Psalm 92, the Psalm for Shabbat, says that the “foolish cannot understand, that the wicked may spring up like grass and the evildoers flourish, they will be destroyed forever.”

Yet, there does seem to be a reward and punishment system. And it would appear you do not have to be Jewish to merit a place in the world to come. It is not like some branches of Christianity where you can only merit heaven if you believe in Jesus. No such litmus test here. Much has been written about righteous gentiles as well as the seven Noahide laws. Keep the Noahide laws if you are not Jewish and you should be fine.

So what is heaven? The place of spiritual reward in Hebrew is often called Gan Eden (the Garden of Eden) which was seen as Paradise, a place of spiritual perfection. While the same name as the place where Adam and Eve were, this is a place of spiritual perfection and no separation from G-d. There are many descriptions of what Gan Eden might be like, but we who are still living cannot know. Paradise also Hebrew loan word comes from pardes, an orchard, is also used as an acronym for the levels of Torah study. “Four men entered pardes, Ben Azzai, Ben Zoma, Acher and Akiba.  Ben Azzai looked and died; Ben Zoma looked and went mad; Acher destroyed the plants; Akiba entered in peace and departed in peace. (Hagigah 14b, also in Jerusalem Talmud) So the conclusion seems to be that trying to attain pardes can be dangerous. We should be careful. We should remain grounded. We should not do this alone. (Cue the do not attempt this at home music!)

The levels of Torah study are peshat, the simple, plain meaning of the text, remez, hints of the deep allegorical, hidden, symbolic meaning, deresh, from to inquire or seek, like Rebecca did when she went to l’derosh, seek out the oracle, or the process of midrash and sod, the secret, mystical meaning of the text. Taken together they are paradise.

But what happens to all those wicked? All those who are not righteous? Most of us are some combination of good and bad. Judaism has its own version of purgatory. Not like Christian versions of Hell, with fire and brimstone or Dante’s Inferno with differing levels. The Hebrew for this is Gehinnom (Gehenna in Yiddish) or She’ol. Again based on a actual place name, this is the valley outside of the ancient walled city of Jerusalem that the goat Azazel was sent into. Again, what happens in Gehinnom is not clear. It could be that every time we sin we create our own demon and those demons come back to haunt us. It could be like a film of our lives, that we can see the action of our lives objectively and can experience remorse. Apparently no one stays in Gehinnom for more than 12 months, and then we ascend to olam habah. That is the reason why we only say Kaddish for a parent for 11 months since no one wants to assume that their own parent would take the full 12 months of purgatory.

Jews also have developed beliefs about reincarnation and resurrection. This surprises many Jews. Resurrection is explained in the Book of Ezekiel when he talks about breathing new life into those dry bones. It is codified in Rambam’s 13 Articles of Faith, and acted upon every time there is a terrorist bombing in Israel and such care is taken to collect all the remains for proper burial.

Many Jews are equally surprised to learn that the belief in reincarnation exists in Judaism too. This revolving of souls through a series of successive lives is called gilgulim. Rambam talked about this too when he hints that gilgulim is the secret to understanding the deep mysteries of yibum, the arcane commandment that a brother of a childless, deceased man must marry the widow. He uses Genesis 38:8 and the story of Judah and his sons and their attitudes toward Tamar. That feels like a stretch to me. What is important to note is that it exists in the tradition.

Reform Jews really struggled with the whole notion of life after death. I remember when my father died, my mother pulled the rabbi aside and begged that he explain that Jews don’t believe in heaven. For her, and for many Reform Jews, the more rational “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” made more sense. We live on in the memories of the people that come after us. For me, personally, that doesn’t seem like quite enough. So I told that rabbi to amend his comments to say that “Some Jews don’t believe in the afterlife.”

The very first piece of Talmud I learned still resonates. The rabbis of the Talmud had it right. We should repent one day before our death. But the next question is key. How do we know when we will die? So the rabbis answered their own question, we should repent every day.

For me I think this makes the most sense. We should live each day as though it were our last. We should repent when we need to repent.

Perhaps Ron Wolfson had it right. Based on the Talmud and Reb Zuziya, there are seven questions we will be asked in heaven:

• Were you honest?
• Did you leave a legacy?
• Did you devote time to study?
• Did you have hope in your heart?
• Did you get your priorities straight?
• Did you see G-d’s Alps, i.e., Did you enjoy your life on earth?
• Were you the best you could be?

I think I can answer each of them. Not perfectly and not consistently. They are a good benchmark. We should strive to be honest. We should leave a legacy, whether that is children, a book, an enterprise or making this world a better place. We should be cognizant of what it means to be a good person—to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our G-d. We should fulfill the mitzvot in ways that our meaningful to us, not because we are seeking reward in the world to come but because they are the right thing to do and they enrich our lives now. We should experience Shabbat and Torah study because they are a foretaste of the world to come. We should live life to its fullest. We should make this world a better place. We have been given a glorious opportunity for which we should be thankful. And then once we die, and we all will at some point. Then, and only then will we truly know.

Meanwhile for me, I have been lucky enough to see the Alps. Charlevoix and Leland may be heaven. and Paradise is in the Upper Peninsula. Much more to ponder. Happy (secular) New Year.

Tonight is Rosh Hodesh Tevet and I need to take a break from the stories I have been posting. This blog is dedicated to Women of the Wall, Rabbis Regina Jonas, Rabbi Regina Sandler-Philips and Rabbi Linda Shriner Cahn.

“Light One Candle” on the third night of Chanukah was the request that came from Women of the Wall. They were denied the ability to light a large menorah on the Kotel plaza by the rabbi who governs the Western Wall. I was appalled. I was angry. This denial was a clear violation of halacha. This was the opposite of the song “Light One Candle” whose opening verse is “Light one candle for the Maccabee children , Give thanks that their light didn’t die . Light one candle for the pain they endured, When their right to exist was denied.” This is the opposite of the story I posted earlier this week with the woman, Hannah, who helped make the miracle by giving up some of her own oil.

I am happy to light a candle (I already had by the time the call came out). Happy is the right adjective for Chanukah as we are told in the halacha precisely how to light Chanukah candles and in what order. Hillel argues that we light so that the light increases each night and with each night so does the beauty and our joy.

The pictures of women lighting candles all over the globe prove the point that women light Chanukah candles. Period. The Talmud says look and see what the people are doing. Here is a clear example, in photographic evidence.

But this denial of the rabbi at the Western Wall calls for more than lighting candles and increasing light and joy. It calls for an actual t’shuvah, responsa, using halachic arguments. Because the halacha on this is clear. Women light chanukiot.

In what seems like a long time ago, my chevruta partner, Rabbi Linda Shriner Cahn, and I were studying the halachic codes for Chanukah. We started with the Mishnah and Gemara and made our way through Rambam and Shulchan Arukh. What we learned surprised us and at one stage made us giggle uncontrollably. We giggled uncontrollably over mixed up two Hebrew words, shemesh, the sun, and shamash, the helper candle. I still wonder how the words are related. They must be. Perhaps it is the sun that is a great helper candle, providing light for all. Perhaps it is the shamash that ultimately gets its light and energy from the sun.

The idea that Women of the Wall called for this on the third night of Chanukah, the same night another organization, Ways of Peace (http://waysofpeace.org ) called for remembering Rabbi Regina Jonas, seems beshert. Rabbi Regina Jonas is recognized as the first ordained woman rabbi. She perished in Auschwitz in late 1944, 70 years ago this month. Those of us who are women rabbis stand on her shoulders. But it is more personal than that. Linda Shriner-Cahn’s mother, Herta, had Rabbi Regina Jonas as her Hebrew teacher in Berlin before the war. Her mother thought she was crazy. Here was a woman who wanted to be a rabbi. But I have this feeling if Regina Jonas had not taught Herta, then Herta would not have been able to teach her daughter Linda. Had Herta not survived the Holocaust by going with her family to Shanghai, she would not have had her daughter. Had her daughter Linda not gone to rabbinical school (and not told me how to take the train to Brooklyn while I was applying to school), I would not have written this t’shuvah. Perhaps this is part of the miracle of Chanukah and part of what needs to be publicized.

Rabbi Regina Jonas said, “May all our work be for the blessing of the future of Israel, and of humanity.”— From a Theresienstadt sermon by Rabbi Regina Jonas (1902-1944). May this teshuvah be for that. May it spread more light and more joy as we continue our celebration of Chanukah.

So here it is:

Question: What is the Jewish law concerning women lighting Chanukah candles? What is the halacha in general about women and Chanukah?

Answer:

Women are obligated to light Chanukah candles. You might argue that lighting Chanukah candles is a time-bound mitzvot and so women might be exempt as they are from other time bound mitzvot. However, the Gemara is clear in Shabbat 23a. “But a woman may certainly light [it], for R. Joshua b. Levi said: The [precept of the] Hanukkah lamp is obligatory upon women, for they too were concerned in that miracle.”

Since women are obligated, if a husband is away traveling, it is permissible to have his wife light at home for him in order to fulfill his obligation.

It is comprehensive and clear. See notes below.

And then, because this is Judaism, it is not perfectly clear. Some hold that a married woman should rely on her husband’s lighting. Unmarried girls living in their father’s house can rely on their father, according to the Ashkenazic custom. If they want to light, Ashkenazim can light with a Bracha. Again see the note below. However, note that this says it is a custom, not a halacha.

Woman should not do any work while the candles are burning. There are two reasons for this. The first is because unlike Shabbat candles which are lit to increase the light in the house, Chanukah candles are lit only to “publicize the miracle.” That is why they are put just outside the door or in a window except in a time of danger. Because they are only for “publicizing the miracle” they cannot be used for any other purpose. (Shabbat 21a and Rashi)

Some have argued that the purpose of the shamash was to provide additional light, not just to be the helper candle so that work could continue. This argument doesn’t work well, since many leave other lights on or light lots of additional candles to make the room more festive (or light).

Nor does it explain why the women are singled out to not work. It could have just as easily said all people, men, women, children, slaves. Why especially the women? The texts answer because they participated in the miracle. Women played an active role in helping the miracle happen. Judith, Yehudit, is specifically mentioned.

So there you have it. Women are obligated to light Chanukah lights and can even light them on behalf of their husbands. Women are obligated to rest during Chanukah because Judith helped make the miracle of Chanukah happen.

Notes: Rambam (Chanukah 4:9), Tur 665, and S”A 665:5 codify this as halacha. Kitzur S”A 139:16 concurs.Piskei Maharam Riketani (154) holds women can fulfill a man’s obligation on his behalf. This is also the opinion of Rabbenu Yerucham 9:1, Rokeach Chanukah 226:3, Ritva and Meiri (Shabbat 23a, Megilah 4a), Maharil (Chanukah pg 407). Levush (675), Bach (675), Taz(675:4), Magan Avraham 675:4, Olot Shabbat 675:1, Pri Chadash 675:4, Eliyah Raba 675:6, Sh”t Shar Efraim 42, Shulchan Gavoha 675:6, Mor Ukesia 675:6, Machzik Bracha 675:4, Mishna Brurah 675:9. Sh”t Yechave Daat 3:51 writes that since some rishonim and achronim hold one can only light at Tzet HaKochavim one should let his wife light at the right time and fulfill his obligation according to all opinions. The Yechave Daat holds like the Chaye Adam 154:33. Kaf Hachiam 676:25. Chaye Adam adds that Ashkenazim can light without a bracha. Interesting point: S”A 689:2 says a women can read the megillah to fulfill for a man his obligation of megillah, and some hold otherwise. [Bahag (quoted by Tosfot Megilah 4a, Erchin 3a) and Morchedai 4a in name of Ravyah (Megilah 569,843) hold women can’t fulfill the obligation of a man, but Rashi Erchin 3a, Or Zaruh 2:324, Rambam(Megilah 1), Rif (quoted by Sefer Eshkol 2:30) hold a women can fulfill obligation of a man]. However Smag (brought by Magan Avraham 589:5), Itur (Megilah 113d), Eshkol 2 pg 30 differentiate between Megilah which is like Torah reading but by Chanukah women can fulfill the man’s obligation according to everyone. Also Torat Moadim Chanukah pg 40 says the Behag only held a women can fulfill megilah for a man since a women’s obligation is derebanan and a man’s is from divrei kabalah (Ketuvim). Similarly, Sh”t Maharash Halevi O”C 24 says Chanukah isn’t an obligation on each person but on the household and so a women can fulfill it for a man. Thus even those who say by Megilah a woman can’t fulfill a man’s obligation agree by Chanukah.(http://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Lighting_Chanukah_Candles )

A married women is exempt by her husband because “Ishto Kegufo Dami”(a husband and wife are like one person). So writes the Maharshal 88, Knesset Hagedolah 671, Mateh Moshe 982, Eliya Raba 671:3, Machasit Hashekel 675:4. Mishna Brurah 675:9 quotes this in name of Sh”t Olot Shmeul 105 and says if women want they can light with a Bracha like any mitzvah for which one’s exempt according to the Ashkenazi Minhag. Mishmeret Shalom 48 says since a married woman doesn’t light and relies on her husband, her daughters also don’t light as derech eretz. Similarly, Chiddushei Chatom Sofer (Shabbat 21b D”H Vehamehadrin) writes since the practice used to be to light outside it wasn’t Derech Eretz for women to light if her husband is already lighting and since then the Minhag hasn’t changed. Ashel Avraham Mebustatesh 675:3 says according to kabbalah women don’t light (unless they have to). However it seems as the minhag is that Ashkenzic unmarried girls also light. Rav Moshe Feinstein (1895-1986) is quoted in sefer Moadei Yeshurun 1:4 says if a woman wants to light and recite the beracha, she should light before her husband does.(http://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Lighting_Chanukah_Candles )