Erev July 4th 2024: Freedom and Independence

I am sitting here on my sabbatical thinking about this great nation we live in. And truly it is great. The average American only gets to 8 states. I have hiked in 37 with Simon (a few more without him) and have visited 10 other countries and lived in 2 of those.countries.

I am sitting here in an old T-shirt that I bought when my daughter’s Girl Scout Troop was marching in the Memorial Day parade. Keep America Beautiful,Plant a tree, Be Kind to Nature. Conserve energy. Volunteer. It must have been when the kids were in 5th grade.

Fourth of July has always been an important holiday for me. No one ever asked if I would be home for Rosh Hashanah. The big holiday was July 4th. Partly because my mother’s birthday was the 6th. And my father’s was the 7th. She would have been 100 on Saturday. It was one giant party. It started with hanging the flag on the front porch. Decorating bikes. John Phillips Sousa blaring. A parade with the bikes and lots of politicians that went right by our friend, the judge’s house. Everyone stopped to shake John’s hand! Lots of candy thrown for the kids. A very set menu…deviled eggs, blueberry raspberry lemon loaf, ham balls (I make mine with turkey) and lots of guacamole. Later there would be a dip in the community pool that I used to lifeguard. A kickass croquet game an then a drip downtown to the Public Museum for the fireworks. (My mom as a board member and a docent had her own parking place.) And then a trip for Mexican food a a midnight run to Meijers. Don’t ask, but it was a tradition. It all was.

Small town America. Or the Boston Pops on the Esplanade. The 1812 Overture coordinated to church betts and fireworks. Then the rousing encore of the Stars and Stripes Forever. Could not be beat. Simon and I almost got engaged that night.

What is it we cherish about America? That is really the important question. Especially this year. Recently a member of the congregation when I was talking about Biblical translations and Louisiana (We can now add Oklahoma to that list) said we live in a Christian nation, what can we expect. I expect more.

I believe the words that George Washington wrote to the “Hebrew” congregation of Newport, RI. I think I quote it every year but it bears repeating every year. “For happily the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance…”

The full letter is masterful:

https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Washington/05-06-02-0135

I believe that Judaism, in the story of the Exodus from Egypt has a lot to teach about freedom. Recently a colleague of mine pointed out something I hadn’t seen before. That the children of Israel started kvetching, complaining, even before they got to the Sea of Reeds. It is a sign of being free that you can kvetch. Slaves can’t kvetch.

Perhaps one of the readings I like best is from the haggadah that my husband complied from a number of sources.

“Tonight, we participate as members of multiple communities. As Jews, the Exodus is our heritage, and equality, justice and peace are our dreams… 

Freedom from bondage and freedom from oppresion
Freedom from hunger and freedom from want
Freedom from hatred and freedom from fear
Freedom to think and freedom to speak
Freedom to teach and freedom to learn
Freedom to love and freedom to share
Freedom to hope and freedom to rejoice.” 

The language for me soars. It is aspirational and it offers hope. Our nation is not perfect. Far from it. We have a responsibility, as did the Children of Israel once they crossed the Sea of Reeds, to make it the best possible place it can be. That is the value and the purpose of Tikkun Olam, Repairing the World.

We talk about the freedoms guaranteed in the Bill of Rights. freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and freedom of assembly, freedom to bear arms.

This year I would add the freedom to vote. This year I would like freedom to include freedom from medical bills and student loans. Not just for the Kleins. This year I would add the freedom to read what I want and when. This year I would add the freedom to gather, at a parade, at a concert, at a school, at a synagogue. We need to work for these freedoms and these rights.

Last night we attended a lovely concert of the Elgin Symphony Orchestra, outdoors in a park in a neighboring town. The Armed Forces Medley made me tear up. These are what these older gentleman (they all seemed to be men) who rose to thunderous applause had been fighting for. At some point I looked around. There didn’t seem to be any visible security. How refreshing and how scary that I would even think about it.

The concert was wonderful, the balm I needed for my soul. Outdoor air, setting sun, great music and a picnic dinner. Like being at Tanglewoord or the Esplanade or Ravinia and NO TRAFFIC!

How will I spend the 4th? Running a race. Eating some of that yummy 4th food. Watching 1776 and Hamilton (Did you know that Hamilton may have been Jewish?) And maybe writing letters to elected officials or helping to register new voters.

At the end of George Washington’s letter he ends with a prayer: “May the Children of the Stock of Abraham, who dwell in this land, continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other Inhabitants; while every one shall sit in safety under his own vine and figtree, and there shall be none to make him afraid. May the father of all mercies scatter light and not darkness in our paths, and make us all in our several vocations useful here, and in his own due time and way everlastingly happy.”. May it continue to be so. Happy 4th. Celebrate. And roll up your sleeves and make this a great nation. The one that Washington and Hamilton and our ancestors who arrived on these shores as immigrants dreamed of.

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A Sabbatical Begins

Many of you read much of what I write. You may read my weekly emails, or my monthly HaKol newsletter article. You may read my blog, which I am planning to update. 

Today is July 1, 2024. It is the first day of my new contract and the first day of the new fiscal year. I have served as rabbi and spiritual leader for 12 years at Congregation Kneseth Israel and together we have continued to maintain and build a congregation. A fiercely independent Jewish congregation. One that has bult connections throughout the Fox River Valley, Chicagoland and the wider world. And while I love, absolutely love what I do. I can’t imagine doing anything else and I am grateful to be serving. 

However, it hasn’t always been easy. Like Jews everywhere we argue, we kvetch, we lose sight over what might be really important. This past year we even argued over the use of the world argue. Is debate a better word? 

This new contract grants a month’s sabbatical. So today, this July 1, I am starting something I have never done before. Here is what I wrote to the congregation, expanded just slightly: 

Happy Summer. It has certainly been hot. Happy 4th of July. I look forward to celebrating it every year. It was the holiday of importance in my home growing up, partly because my mother’s birthday was the 6th (It would have been 100 years this year) and my father’s was the 7th. It involved parades, fireworks, food, flags, jazz music and up North Lake Michigan sunsets. The year I lived in Israel I will never forget on a kibbutz a Scottish volunteer playing America the Beautiful on the bagpipes for the American volunteers.  

This year July will look a little different at CKI. I will be on the first part of my sabbatical from July1 until July 18. What is a sabbatical, you might ask? It is time given to a clergy person or an academic often after 7 years for rest, renewal and spiritual growth. It is a concept that is Biblically mandated as the sh’mita year. Every seven years the land was to lie fallow and rest.  

It is part of the natural cycle and rhythm. Six days we work and the seventh is the Sabbath to be refreshed, v’yinafash, re-souled if you will. Even G-d need to v’yinafash according to Exodus and the song we sing on Shabbat, “V’shamru” Shabbat is a sign of the covenant for all times, from generation to generation. Six years we work the land and let it rest in the seventh. After the 49th year, seven times seven the 50th year is proclaimed as a Jubilee year, where all the those enslaved were set free. “Proclaim liberty throughout the land” which we just read Memorial Day Weekend from Leviticus is on the liberty bell.  

In the Shmita year, debts are to be forgiven, agricultural lands to lie fallow, private land holdings to become open to the commons, and staples such as food storage and perennial harvests to be freely redistributed and accessible to all. It is a pretty radical way to organize society. We’ve done a lot of studying of these texts particularly in the last shmita year in Israel. Hazon used to have a great source book for this. It is now available here: https://adamah.org/resource/updated-shmita-sourcebook/  

A sabbatical today looks a little different. It is not a vacation, although there are elements that overlap. What I want to do in this first part is:  

  • Finishing writing the book, Trip Notes 
  • Writing a piece for AJR on the Yamim Nora’im and October 7 
  • Finishing my class on “G-d is Here” 
  • Painting something for Fox Valley Hands of Hope 
  • Restorative activities: 
    • Reconnecting with Simon 
    • Sleeping 
    • Reading 
    • Finding Sunsets and Sunrises 
    • Hiking 
    • Learning to dance 

But part of the beauty of a sabbatical is not having any plans on any specific day. So, while I tried to plan, the specific plans are not entirely clear, although I will keep Josh apprised. 

Why now? Because it has been 12 years since we began our relationship together. This is the beginning of my 5th contract at CKI. During this time, together, we have weathered a global pandemic, the ongoing tragedy and aftermath of October 7th, and a couple of serious health challenges, both for Simon and me. Having this brief respite should help set up the fall, Torah School and all the High Holy Days well. 

There are seven kinds of rest.
1. Physical rest
2. Mental rest
3. Emotional rest
4. Sensory rest
5. Creative rest
6. Social rest
7. Spiritual rest 

People actually need all seven to feel fully renewed and rejuvenated. I actually do pretty well on the physical rest. I woke up really early, even for me. I think I am excited to try something new. I get up without an alarm. My body, despite the health challenges, seems to do what I need it to do.  

So yes, I caught that first sunrise. On my brief walk to see the sunrise, I found myself singing Modah Ani, “I thank you G-d”, that would be the spiritual piece. There are other spiritual disciplines I want to explore this month. The class on G-d is Here and more challah baking fit that bucket. The book, Morning, Noon and Night, Poetry in the Language of Jewish Time will help me reclaim mincha. Some of the other categories will be harder. How chained to email and social media will I be? Time will tell. But I am excited! 

Shlach 5784: Anger and Forgiveness

“But Moses said to יהוה, “When the Egyptians, from whose midst You brought up this people in Your might, hear the news,  

they will tell it to the inhabitants of that land. Now they have heard that You, יהוה, are in the midst of this people; that You, יהוה, appear in plain sight when Your cloud rests over them and when You go before them in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night.  

If then You slay this people wholesale, the nations who have heard Your fame will say,  

‘It must be because יהוה was powerless to bring that people into the land promised them on oath that [that god] slaughtered them in the wilderness.’  

Therefore, I pray, let my Lord’s forbearance be great, as You have declared, saying,  

יהוה ! slow to anger and abounding in kindness; forgiving iniquity and transgression; yet not remitting all punishment, but visiting the iniquity of parents upon children, upon the third and fourth generations.’ (Numbers 14:11-20) 

Today’s Torah portion teaches us a lot about anger and forgiveness. It would seem that G-d is really, really angry again. You don’t want to mess with Him! He has the power to wipe out entire nations, the whole world even. Just look at the story of Noah. This time, He asks, “How long will this people spurn Me?” 

And Moses, I dare say being brave, deigns to answer Him, even negotiate with Him, beg Him. His first argument is to give the argument what I call, “the what will the neighbors think.” If G-d wipes out the people in the midst of the desert after rescuing the from Egypt, the Egyptians and all the other nations will think this G-d is powerless, and therefore return to worshipping their gods, many gods. Not a good look.  

Moses’s second argument is one we know. It is what Moses has been taught by G-d himself when Moses is hidden in the cleft of the Rock. G-d is slow to anger, patient, full of lovingkindness and one who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin. It is that G-d who brought the Israelites out of Egypt with a strong hand and an outsteched arm. It is reminder for G-d to return to G-d’s essential core. Being patient and full of lovingkindness, G-d needs to forgive the people their ongoing kvetching.  

And miraculously, G-d answers Moses by saying, “I have forgiven according to your word.” We know this language. “Vayomer Adonai Selachti kidvarecha.”  The very words we sing right after Kol Nidre. This exchange is a central part of our High Holy Day liturgy. We begin with the 13 Attributes on Rosh Hodesh Elul, they intensify at Selichot and continue all the way through all of Yom Kippur.  

Anger is a powerful emotion. And often underlying anger is fear and anxiety. What is G-d angry about? What is G-d afraid of?  Perhaps, if Psychology Today is correct and there really are only 5 fears: extinction, mutilation, loss of autonomy, separation, and ego death,  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brainsnacks/201203/the-only-5-fears-we-all-share  then G-d is afraid that the people won’t acknowledge Him, won’t recognize Him. The hint is in His own question, How long will they spurn me. He doesn’t want to be rejected. That is true for all of us. We don’t want to be rejected.  

In turn, we don’t want to be wiped out.  

Some argue that we shouldn’t be angry at all. We are often taught that anger is a bad emotion. I would disagree. It is a necessary human emotion. It helps keep us safe. 

There are positive aspects to anger: 

  1. Anger protects us.  
  2. Anger empowers us.  
  3. Anger’s discharge is calming.  
  4. Anger indicates injustice.  
  5. Anger drives us to meet our goals.  
  6. Anger safeguards our values.  
  7. Anger instils optimism.  
  8. Anger leads to self-improvement.  
  9. Feeling anger enhances emotional agility.  
  10. Anger covers painful feelings.  
  11. Anger motivates us to find a deeper self.  

For the full description according to this article, see the end of this post.  

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wisdom-of-anger/202306/11-good-reasons-to-get-angry  

 Our tradition teaches that we should be like G-d, Usually I teach the midrash from Sotah 14ab. Just as G-d clothed the naked, we should clothe the naked. Just as G-d provided hospitality and visited the sick, we should visit the sick. Just as G-d buried the dead we should bury the dead. The text roles it back up to the 13 Attributes. Because G-d is full of lovingkindness.  

A careful reading of our text tells us that G-d is erech apayim, slow to anger or patient. My colleague, Rabbi Danny Price wrote his thesis on this very topic. G-d does get angry, really angry, but the anger seems to pass quickly. If we are to be like G-d, I am not telling you that you cannot be angry, but that you need to be slow to anger.   

These days, I’ll admit it. I’m angry. I am angry about rising anti-semitism. I am angry that the hostages have been held for 266 days. I can’t even imagine the pain they are undergoing. And the pain of their families. I am angry that we have had to sacrifice more Israeli soldiers to protect Israeli lives. If I am really honest, I am still angry that my first finance was killed disarming a terrorist bomb in Lebanon, 45 years ago. I am angry that so many Gazans have been killed in an attempt to wipe out Hamas, which may never be fully possible, and something may rise up even worse. Look at those photos of those children, how can you not weep? How can you not be angry. Golda Meir once famously said, “When peace comes we will perhaps in time be able to forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but it will be harder for us to forgive them for having forced us to kill their sons. Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.”  And I am angry that for decades nothing has worked. No one has been able to find a lasting solution. It should be simple. Just stop.  

Yet, G-d orders the Israelites to destroy the Amalekites. Every last one of them. Wipe them out. King Saul didn’t completely follow G-d’s instructions and spared the King of the Amalekites. For this he was punished and lost his kingship. In every generation someone rises up to destroy us. Haman was an Amalekite. Hitler is often described as an Amalekite,   

And yet, people are afraid, on both sides. Oh, how I hate that phrase now and yet it is true. It is impossible to make peace when you are afraid. You need to feel safe,. You need to be safe. That was the core finding of my thesis. You need to be safe in order to have the sins of the fathers (and mothers) not impact the next generation. This war is a generational trauma with sadly more generations to come now.  

Many are angry, including me, about more than geo-political issues. You may be angry because of life circumstances. Maybe you have health challenges. Maybe you didn’t get the job you wanted. Maybe you had a car accident. Maybe the dishwasher broke. Maybe you are confronting your own mortality or that of a beloved family member and you are afraid.  

It is OK to be angry. It is even OK to be angry with G-d. It is what we do with that feeling once we can identify it.  

The best chapter I have ever read on anger and G-d is in Blessings for the Journey, compiled by Mayyim Hayyim. I currently have two copies. I’ll leave one here on the bimah. They always disappear and don’t come back. https://www.mayyimhayyim.org/product/blessings-for-the-journey/  

There was a meme that appeared recently on Facebook.  

It actually is what sparked this d’var Torah: 

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world. Angry people cannot create a peaceful planet.” 

I am not sure that I agree fully with this analysis. You can only forgive when you feel safe. But maybe when we do eventually feel safe, we hope, just like G-d in this passage, we learn  to forgive. 

Forgiveness isn’t easy. It takes work. It doesn’t happen overnight. It cannot happen unless you feel safe. After studying the 13 Attributes deeply, that was the finding of my thesis. The fact that G-d gets angry and then forgives. That Moses can convince G-d to forgive, this is what gives me hope. As we move into the month of Tamuz and then into Av, may we all learn to be like G-d. And angry or not, may we all continue to work for peace. Amen. 

More on the positive aspects of anger: 

  1. Anger protects us. Anger is designed to protect ourselves from an enemy or danger. Anger motivates people to become attentive to threats and sharpens our focus. When we are threatened or attacked, anger is activated and drives us to fight back and act swiftly and forcefully to defend ourselves. 
  2. Anger empowers us. Opposite to fear driven by helplessness, anger makes us feel in charge and gives us a sense of control. People who experience and display their anger in a proportional and balanced way are better positioned to fulfill their unmet needs and control their destinies than those who suppress their anger. 
  3. Anger’s discharge is calming. When you experience physical and emotional distress, anger strongly motivates you to do something about it. As such, anger helps you cope with stress by discharging the tension in your body. The result of your action calms your “nerves.” 
  4. Anger indicates injustice. Anger emerges when we are denied rights or faced with insults, disrespect, manipulation, exploitation, or injustice. Anger indicates that something is not quite right and that someone has been treated unfairly. 
  5. Anger drives us to meet our goals. Anger motivates us to pursue our desired goals and rewards. When we don’t get what we want, anger is triggered, indicating we have moved away from our objectives. It energizes and pushes us to act to achieve our goals. 
  6. Anger safeguards our values. Anger serves as a value indicator and regulator. Anger is activated when our values are not in harmony with our situation. It makes us aware of what we stand for and motivates us to take action to change the situation and realign it with our values. 
  7. Anger instils optimism. Astonishingly, anger can bring optimism. It encourages us to focus on what we hope to achieve rather than focusing on the hurt, abuse, or victimization. The anger mechanism is geared toward what is attainable, not the impossible. As such, we feel positive about our ability to change the situation. 
  8. Anger leads to self-improvement. Anger can make us better. It provides insight into our faults and shortcomings. If looked at constructively, it can lead to self-improvement. If we know what makes us angry, we can work on these triggers to improve our response. 
  9. Feeling anger enhances emotional agility. Emotionally intelligent individuals do not resist anger. Instead, they utilize the wisdom of anger to enhance their well-being. As a result, these individuals have greater emotional flexibility and agility, and their response is more adaptive. 
  10. Anger covers painful feelings. In its raw state, anger prevents (defends/blocks) you from feeling even more painful emotions. Once you allow yourself to feel anger constructively, you can dig deeper to process your painful feelings better. 
  11. Anger motivates us to find a deeper self. Anger provides insight into ourselves. It is the top layer of much deeper and hidden parts of the self. This is why it is important to trace the trail of anger and dig down to find and address its source. We can only free ourselves from the suffering it sometimes induces after addressing the blockage that leads to anger. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wisdom-of-anger/202306/11-good-reasons-to-get-angry 

Beha’alotecha 5784: Raise the lamps. Arise. Stand.

Our Torah portion, the full cycle begins with a unique phrase. Beha’alotecha, translated here in Sefaria, the JPS 2006a edition as: 

Speak to Aaron and say to him, “When you mount the lamps, let the seven lamps give light at the front of the lampstand.” (Numbers 8:2) 

But the root of beha’alotecha is the same as aliyah, when you go up, when you raise. When the menorah is lit it is s spiritual going up, just like having an aliyah here or making aliyah in Israel. Aaron raised the lights. The lights went up, they made an aliyah.  

It becomes everyone’s job to make sure that the light stays lit. The whole community, especially the Levites who as tasked with the Lord’s service, at least from age 25-50. After 50 the text tells us Levites can stand guard but are essentially retired. (That would be an interesting sermon for another time.)  

Our whole community as an act of spiritual discipline and meaning has to make sure that the light, this light stays lit. It is a sacred responsibility. 

 In the middle of our portion, as the Israelites are wandering, plodding, they are guided by a cloud that settles over the Holy of Holies. It seems like a Divine game of red light, green light. This cloud, however, is a measure of the Divine Presence, the Shechinah and it offers G-d’s protection and guidance on the journey. Listen carefully to the language. We use the same language today when we wish someone a “Nisiyah Tovah”, a good journey, especially if they are traveling to Israel. We want G-d to protect us, to guard us, to keep us safe. It was embedded in last week’s parsha as well. “Yiverechecha v’yishmarecha” May G-d bless you and keep you, watch over you, guard you, protect you. We want G-d to go with us. My friend and colleague, Pastor Dave Daubert from Zion Lutheran Church ends meetings with “Go with G-d and may G-d go with you.”   

At the very end of our parsha today we hear a line that is very familiar to us. Kuma Adonai… 

Arise Adonai.  

וַיְהִ֛י בִּנְסֹ֥עַ הָאָרֹ֖ן וַיֹּ֣אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֑ה קוּמָ֣ה ׀ יְהֹוָ֗ה וְיָפֻ֙צוּ֙ אֹֽיְבֶ֔יךָ וְיָנֻ֥סוּ 

 מְשַׂנְאֶ֖יךָ מִפָּנֶֽיךָ׃  

When the Ark was to set out, Moses would say:
Advance, O יהוה !
May Your enemies be scattered,
And may Your foes flee before You! 

This translation has Advance. Most seem to use Arise. There is another place where we see Kum—Tzur Yisrael Kuma b’ezrat Yisrael…Rock of Isarael, Arise and come to Israel’s help. It is at that point that we all stand up for the amidah, the standing portion, the central portion of our service. But these two instances while they act as stage directions are mucch more than that. 

In Psalms it says, Kuma Adonai, hosheini elohai, l’adonai hayeshua, al amcha birchatecha… (“Arise, oh Lord! Save me, oh my God!  Salvation belongs to the Lord; Your blessings are upon Your people” (Psalm 3:7-8) There are beautiful musical settings for this but I don’t know of an instance where we use Psalm 3 in our liturgy. 

 What we see here is an evolution of how the text is used. First, we see it in the Book of Numbers. Then we see it in our liturgy. Finally, we then see it in modern day leaders who use this line begging G-d to take care of G-d enemies. David Ben Gurion, Israel’s first prime minister famously said that in order to be a realist in Israel you have to believe in miracles. 

Will G-d really come to Israel’s aid? Is G-d really on our side? Or as others have said does G-d help them who help themselves. What do those two truths mean? Is it ours to wrestle with? Set public policy by?  

I have never been completely comfortable with the theology that says G-d is on our side. I don’t like it especially in the Song at the Sea where the Israelites sing that G-d is a man of war. Perhaps this week’s reading is saved by the haftarah. It is clear that the connection between the haftarah and the Torah is the menorah itself. However, maybe the haftarah also acts as a foil. The haftarah ends with the vision, “Not by might and not by power but by My spirit alone shall we all live in peace.” That’s the world I am working toward. I have sung it at Chanukah in the Debbie Friedman rendition. I have sung it after acts of senseless violence like Sandy Hook. And I will continue to do so.   

It is said that a book, a movie, a play of historical nature says more about the time it is written about than the history it portrays. Using our verse from Numbers in our weekly Torah portion was designed to do precisely that.  

 While it is true that the service for removing the Torah from the ark, parading it around the congregation, reading it, and then returning it became an opportunity to symbolically reenact the history of Israel, from the giving of the Torah at Sinai to the worship in the Temple in Jerusalem. Our verse, Kuma, was not added in the service until the middle of the 13th century in France and not made universal in Ashkenazi tradition until the middle of the 16th. 

 Using the idea that it tells us more about what was happening at the time it was comiled, let’s ask that question. What was happening in those time periods? In France in the early 13th century Jews were expelled. The history channel teaches: 

“As with most European nations, France had been home to Jews since antiquity. Also as in the rest of Europe, the Jews of France faced frequent discrimination and persecution. French Jews had already suffered through burnings of their religious texts, discriminatory taxes and other fiscal policies targeted at Jews, being scapegoated for the Black Plague, and multiple prior attempts to expel them from France. Various cities in France independently expelled their Jews throughout the 13th and 14th centuries. They were formally expelled from the country 1306 and had their lands confiscated by the government, only to be recalled in 1315 and made to pay for the privilege of returning. Under the rules set in 1315, Jews were ordered not to discuss their religion publicly, made to wear a badge identifying themselves, and cautioned against committing usury, an accusation often leveled at Jews based on racist stereotypes.” 

 It would make sense then, fearing reprisals from the French government to beg G-d to scatter G-d’s enemies. A close reading of the text (thank you, Brad!) shows that these are G-d’s enemies, not our enemies.  

 13th century France, Nazi Germany, or today’s rising anti-semitism, or the continuing war in the Israel after October 7th.  The fear is real. Begging G-d to scatter G-d’s enemies is a natural response. Yet some of it is up to us.  

 We have examined three words that mean to arise, to go up, to stand, aliyah, kum, and amidah. I think what it is telling us is that we need to go up, as a spiritual arising, to stand up and to be counted. Only then can we demand that G-d also arise!  

Nasso 5784: Priestly Benediction and the Blessing of Fathers

We began this discussion last night. We looked at our reading for today in the back of Siddur Sim Shalom, in the table service for Shabbat evening. Candles. Kiddush. Motzi. Eishet Chayil and a newer reading for men, in this case Psalm 112, in other places Psalm 1 and the priestly benediction. I remember fondly when Sarah was little we would go to Simon’s cousins’ home in Albany, NY and the father of the house would bless Sarah with those very words.  

Nowadays there are more modern readings for a Woman of Valor that accommodate our more complex understandings of family, but the emphasis is the same. The people who dwell together are a blessing. The house is a mikdash me’at, a little sanctuary so as such it makes sense to recite the Birkat Hacohanim, the priestly benediction.  

This is Father’s Day Weekend. This past week we just read the Ten Commandments as part of Shavuot. One commandment is to Honor your father and your mother. Note that it doesn’t say love. It says honor, which the kids teach us means to respect. In Leviticus as part of the Holiness Code, it teaches us, it commands us to “Fear your mother and your father.” Fathers are seen as a blessing. In the yizkor service the meditation on remembering a father begins, “May G-d remember the soul of my father, my teacher.” Fathers were seen as teachers.  

One of my former students, Rob Kaplowitz, has been a great teacher to me. He was a sound designer, including on Broadway where he won a Tony. After a very successful theater career, he is now training to be a lawyer. Yet, despite that very busy first year of law school he is heavily involved and invested in an organization in Philadelphia, weembracefatherhood.org. He is teaching people how to be fathers and he is learning together with them along the way. 

Happy Father’s Day. May it be a blessing. May it be filled with golf, or barbecues, or exactly what you want. For some Father’s Day is complicated. You may be missing a child. You may be missing your own father. You may be an unacknowledged step-parent, foster parent. Someone who for whatever reason never had children. You may be single parenting. I hope you can see the blessing you are. 

I just finished reading Kristen Hannah’s The Women, about combat nurses during Vietnam. I found it to be a very powerful book. The main character, Frankie, had a very complicated relationship with her father. Spoiler alert, after many, many years she discovers that her father is a blessing. 

Rabbi Harold Kushner talks about this in his book, How Good Do We Have to Be. He chapter Fathers and Sons, Mothers and Daughters, I find I need to reread over and over again. But even while my father had very high expectations and we never agreed on the G-d thing, on days like this, actually on most days I miss him. He taught me much. He was a blessing. To me and to the world. 

How do we get here? What is a blessing? The first use of b-r-ch is in Genesis where G-d blesses Abram:  “I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you (ואברכך), and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing (ברכה). I will bless (ואברכה) those who bless you (מברכיך), and the one who curses you I will curse; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed (ונברכו). 

Our portion today includes one of the most beautiful passages in all of scripture. Called thre Birkat haCohanim, the Priestly benediction, it was a blessing the priests offered all the people. Today we use it on Friday nights to bless our children. We use it at B-Mitzvah celebrations and weddings. It is part of the musaf service. Soon we will use it at a baby naming and at an aufruf,  when we shower a wedding couple with blessings and candy, so that their marriage will be sweet and filled with blessings!  Often it as used as the final benediction in Christian worship services and many old school or classical Reform services. We hold these texts sacred together. 

We want to be blessed, to feel blessed. I have a number of friends who end phone calls and conversations with the phrase “Be blessed.” Or have a blessed day. It used to make me somewhat uncomfortable. It seemed well maybe too Christian.  

In fact, that is exactly what we do when we bless our children on Friday night. Even more importantly perhaps, it offers hope.  

Many of our prayers begin, as you all know, Baruch Atah Adonai. Blessed are You G-d. Does G-d need our blessing? Maybe. It is a way of saying thank you and reminding ourselves that we are blessed. It offers gratitude 

And when we bless one another, it offers connection and community. 

Each of you is a blessing. You are a gift. To me and to the wider world. Each of you helps make this world a better place and you have a unique role in this place. I am grateful. I am blessed. 

The first line of this blessing that G-d taught to Aaron and his sons is Yiverecha v’yishmarecha. May the Lord bless and keep you, guard you and protect you. We all want to be safe and protected, to feel that like the song, somone will watch over me. All of us. Those in the camp and out of the camp. To use a line from the U-46 Mission Statement, where I once spoke about transgender issues, “All means all.”   

There are many translations for this tri-fold blessing: 

Yiverechecha v’yishmaecha
Ya’er adonai panav elecha v’chuneka
Yisa adonai panav elecha v’yisa lecha shalom. 

Please rise for a special birkat hacohanim:  

“May God bless you and protect you, guard you and watch over you.!  
May light of G-d God shine upon you and be gracious to you!  
May God lift up God’s face to you and grant you peace!” Num. 6:22-27  

May we find a way to live out this blessing. Sharing G-d’s light and love. Finding wholeness and completeness, shalom. And making our lives, all of our lives count.  You matter. You are loved. You are a gift. You are a blessing. Period. 

One more blessing. Because it is summer and a number of people are traveling. Tefilat haderech, known as the travelers prayer is found in the section of Talmud called Berachot. It appears in the fuller version of Siddur Sim Shalom and Debbie Friedman set a version to music: 

Lyrics:
CHORUS
May we be blessed as we go on our way
May we be guided in peace
May we be blessed with health and joy
May this our blessing, amen.
May we be sheltered by the wings of peace
May we be kept in safety and in love
May grace and compassion find their
way to every soul
May this be our blessing, amen.
Amen, may this be our blessing, amen. 

As we leave here today, may you be blessed as you go on your way.  

Bamidbar 5784: You and You and You Count

Not one. Not two. Not three. Not four.  

Every week we count to make sure we have enough. What is enough? We are fortune at CKI. I can no longer remember when we did not have a minyan. Enough Jewish adults to say Kaddish, to have a full service. So, kudos to all of you for showing up.  

We count the days between Passover and Shavuot. Today is Day 46 of the counting the omer.  Netzach shel Malkhut. Eternity of Majesty.  

We have counted the number of days since October 7th. Today is 245. Bring them home. Now. All of them.  

We are told in Psalms, “Teach us to number our days that we may find a heart of wisdom.” To make every day count. 

Today we began the book of Bamidbar. In the wilderness. Because, we wandered in the wilderness. At some levels we still are. The book in  English is called Numbers. Because it begins with a census. They are counting the number of Israelites, male, able to bear arms, those of military age. The numbers seem farfetched. How could there possibly be 603,550 men?  Remember, these are just the men of military age. Perhaps then, maybe there were a million people? Doesn’t seem feasible. 

 

This is not the first census. Back in Exodus, men of military age paid a half shekel. Every man of military age put in a half shekel. Not more, not less, whether you were rich or poor. There was a level of equality in this. Each person by paying the half-shekel tax had equal access to the Divine.  

 

The word that runs through this parsha is pikudei, to count. But this root is also used in the story of Sarah. G-d pakad et Sarah. G-d took note of, remembered Sarah. Counting is a way to remember. 

 The Talmud emphasized that everyone, everyone is created in the image of G-d. You and you and you and you. Each of you were created in the image of the Divine. That we are all created from one man, Adam so that no one can say “nah, nah, nah nah…my lineage is better than yours.” That everyone who saves a life is as though they have saved the world. That last quote is also in the Quaran.  

And then it continues: 

A human being mints many coins from the same mold, and they are all identical. But the Holy One,  strikes us all from the mold of the first human and each one of us is unique.”
As, “(An individual was created) to show the greatness of God. While a person stamps many coins from a single die, and they are all alike, the Eternal has stamped every person with the die of Adam, yet not one of them is like their fellow.” 

Today’s portion tells us that the people, OK, the men, were arranged in groups by tribe, under their unique flag or standard. Four sides, three tribes on each side. Each equidistant to the center of the Mishkan, the sanctuary. Each ablt to access the Divine. Whatever the real the numbers, this is a great message, about equality and about liminality. No one has more or less. I am not sure why they were there. To protect the Mishkan? the sanctuary? From whom? Remember they were wandering in the desert. Who else was there? What was the fear? 

Rabbi Menachem Creditor points out that the author records, designates, takes note, remembers, one name at a time. “The Hebrew word “nikvu/designated” in the verse (Num. 1:17) is significant. While it can mean “to indicate,” it also carries a deeper connotation of being pierced, derived from “nkv,” which means to create a hole (to ‘appoint’). This imagery of piercing is powerful. When we are counted, we are marked deeply. In such indeterminate times, then and now, knowing who stands with us is crucial.” 

My friend Anita Salzman Sivert was recently in a coffee shop and someone complimented her on her unique Star of David. She responded that since October 7th she has been more intentional about wearing hers. I have always worn this necklace of the 10 Commandments. People make a choice to do this. I’ve had many conversations about this topic, which have only intensified since October 7th. Those conversations have included discussions about mezuzot and Chanukah decorations as well. I was delighted to see one of our students sitting by a pool wearing a star this week.  

The woman in the coffee shop said she has one, but hasn’t worn it out of discomfort, maybe even fear. Anita explained that this week’s parsha starts with a list, a counting by name of the Israelites, leaving Sinai and setting off. She makes the connection that we have to stand up and be counted more and more than ever now. As the woman left the coffee shop she said she’d start wearing it again.  

Counting is powerful. Each of you count. You and you and you,  In Les Mis the prisoners were reduced to numbers, not names. Javert frequently refers to Jean Valjean as “Prisoner 2460”. During the Holocaust, numbers were tattooed on the arms of victims, You, however, are not just a number.  

Names are powerful. Remember the scene in the Odyssey when Odysseus stops in the land of Cyclops, the fierce one-eyed giants, on his way back to Ithaca? There, Odysseus was trapped in a cave of the Cyclops Polyphemus who ate two of the men the king of Ithaca was traveling with and was about to eat Odysseus himself. It is then, that Odysseus got Polyphemus drunk, told him that his name is “Nobody” and after that blinded the one-eyed giant. Telling Polyphemus that he was Nobody didn’t allow Polyphemus to have power over Odysseus. 

Names are important. Here we have a Kara and a Kara. We have McFarlane with an e and not a d. We have Mindi with an i not a y. And just this week Earl told me that his mother was so proud of her e and the end of Evelyne. Knowing how to pronounce a name or what someone’s name is important. Good teachers spend time on this at the beginning of the school year. Good administrators spend time practicing graduation names.  

We are, as Rabbi Creditor Menachem taught, pierced by names. And some of us have many names, I am reminded of the Israeli poets Zelda’s poem about names, Each of Us has a name, which we will read before Kaddish today. 

We know the names of the hostages. The Bibbs Family, Kfir, Ariel, Shiri, Yarden. Omri Miron, Keith Siegel. Hersh. There are still 120 people being held. We count them, each and every one.  

We know the names of those released today. Noa, Almong, Andry, Sholomi. And we celebrate with their families while still daring to hope for more. We have counted them and taken note of them. 

Perhaps then the reason for today’s portion is to remind us that each of us counts. You and you and you and you, And that each of us, male and female, child or senior, needs to stand up and be counted. Even if it seems scary. Maybe that is how we are taught to number our days, to count our days and find a heart of wisdom.  

Rainbows and Pride 5784

Did anyone see the rainbow this week? I went looking for it. It was very, very faint. (Although other friends and professional photographers got great photos) Rainbows have often filled people with awe. In Judaism they are the sign of the covenant after the flood. G-d promises to never destroy the world again. For all time. For all people. This is universal Judaism before there were Jews. It is the world as we would like, full of possibility and full of the sign of G-d’s covenant. I needed it this week. I needed to be reminded that G-d is present in our lives, even if the connection felt a little weak. And Simon and I remain grateful. Very, very grateful.  

There is a blessing in Judaism for a rainbow. Zocher habrit. Let’s do it together. Blessed are You, Ruler of the Universe who remembers the covenant. Amen. 

Debbie Friedman wrote a song that encapsulates this blessing: https://www.shazam.com/song/41446533/the-rainbow-blessing  

We are here tonight on Erev Pride Month. The rainbow, in Hebrew Keshet, has become a symbol of the LGBTQ+ community. Because all are created in the image of G-d. All means all. There are two organizations in the American Jewish world with the name Keshet. One is right here in Chicagoland. Keshet here works with people with intellectual disabilities. They have worked with some of our own members. Remember, all means all. The other organization also called Keshet was founded in Boston and run by Idit Klein, no relation, and is a national group to be a support to the LGBTQ+ community and their allies. https://www.keshetonline.org/ They do fabulous work and I highly recommend their website for resources, during Pride Month, or whenever you need them, They actually have an office now in Chicagoland and maybe we can get their staff worker to come out and talk to us.  

Why does Pride matter? Why does Pride matter to the Jewish community? Last year I tried to answer that and I am going to use some of the same words this year maybe even more so this year. You do not have to agree with me, but you do have to listen. 

For me, it is simple. We, as a Jewish community need to be allies. We need to support those Jews who consider themselves LGBTQ+. We need safe, non-judgmental spaces, for all. In this congregation it fits with our vision statement that includes “Embracing Diversity.” And we do have members in this congregation who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. 

For me, it is simple. When I went back to look at what I have said in the past on this topic, it is all there in black and white—or maybe rainbow colors.  

For me, it is simple. In Israel, the only country in the Middle East where it is not a crime to be gay, they sadly had to cancel their Pride celebration in Tel Aviv but not without putting up banners in rainbow colors where the yellow stripe is decidedly wider in honor of the hostages. Bring them home now.  

For me, it is simple. This is a question of freedom of religion. 

Over and over again, I have clergy of different stripes try to argue scripture with me. That’s fine. I relish those debates. You can argue with me too,  That’s what happended in Torah Study recently, It is helpful if they and you have a good grounding in Hebrew grammar. Often they bring up a troubling verse in Leviticus, just ahead of the holiness code, the most central portion of Torah that tells us to “Love our neighbors as ourselves. V’ahavta l’rayecha kamoch.” Sometimes people argue what rayecha means. I repeatedly tell you that every translation is a commentary, a midrash if you will. Rayecha could mean neighbor, kin, tribe. It could be only Jews or everyone. I believe the intent was everyone, back to embracing diversity. For our purposes let’s assume it means everyone—all our neighbors, Jew or gentile.  

Sometimes this line gets attributed to Jesus in the Gospel of Mark. No question it is there. But Jesus was citing the quote from Leviticus. Think about that the next time you are in downtown Elgin and you see it on a store window.  

Just ahead of this central value of Judaism, in Chapter 18 of Leviticus, in a collection of sexual sins, there is a troubling verse that is the reason that many believe that homosexuality is wrong. Not only wrong but a sin and an abomination.  

The King James translation says: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” (Lev 18:22) It is part of a long list of sexual sins and it is the traditional reading for Yom Kippur. Many congregations, including our own, read the Holiness Code, with its Love your neighbor as yourself, instead, because of this very verse verse. It is included in our machzor, high holy day prayerbook, published by the Conservative Movement’s Rabbincial Assembly with a copyright of 1972. 1972. This is not a new conversation. 

But what if the King James translation is wrong? It has set 500 years of public policy. With thanks to Rabbi David Greenstein who was the Rosh Yeshivah at the Academy for Jewish Religion, and who taught this verse as part of a class on marital relations, and later published them. Let’s look at them carefully. I am no Hebrew grammarian at his level so we will use his exact words. He believes by looking deeply at the grammar of the verse, it really is a polemic against gang rape. See your high school English teacher was right; it pays to know grammar! 

It is really an elegant graceful, grammatical argument and the authors of the King James translation missed it. So for over 500 years there has been needless pain and suffering for LGBTQ+ folk. 

I have quoted his argument before. But it needs repeating. Again. This very week. 

“Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 have been read for millennia as the Torah’s condemnation of homosexuality. How should we read these verses as we enter the sacred sphere with “zot,” with our conviction that we carry the Divine Presence with us – straight or queer– as we are? I submit that we may read these verses in a new way, a way that removes them entirely from the topic of homosexuality. The verse in Leviticus (18:22) is comprised of three elements – persons (V’et Zachar), forbidden acts (lo tishkav mishkevei ishah), and a term of condemnation (to’evah hi). Let us examine each element in reverse order… 

When we consider the first part of the verse, the part that mentions the persons involved in the forbidden act, we read the phrase “And with a man” / “V’et zachar.” Now, the particle et may indicate the object of an action. 

Until now our verse in Leviticus has been read to mean that a male is prohibited to make another man the object of his sex act. But this word can have another meaning. The first place where it is unambiguous that the word et is being used in another way is in the verse, “And Enoch walked with (et) the Almighty…” (Genesis 5:24). 

In that verse it is clear that the particle does not signify an object indication. Rather, it means “along with.” Now we may read the verse very differently: 

v’et zachar And along with another male lo tishkav you shall not lie 

mishkevei ishah in sexual intercourses with a woman to’evah hi it is an abomination. 

There is no prohibition of homosexual acts of any kind. Rather, the Torah prohibits two males from joining together to force intercourse upon a woman. This is a to’evah because the introduction of the second man completely transforms the act from a potentially innocent act into a manipulation that degrades the act of intercourse and makes the woman subject to violence and objectification.” 

http://www.on1foot.org/sites/default/files/Interpreting%20Leviticus%20-%203%20part%20lesson_0.pdf 

When I first studied this with Rabbi Greenstein all I could say was WOW! It was “mind blowing.” Yasher koach to Rabbi Greenstein. When I was driving home from class I called a good friend, an Episcopal priest, who was surprised that I was wowed. He had been aware of that translation since the 80s. So I looked it up. According to HRC, the Episcopal Church: 

In 1976, both the House of Deputies and House of Bishops voted for a fully inclusive Episcopal Church, stating, “homosexual persons are children of God who have a full and equal claim with all other persons upon the love, acceptance, and pastoral concern and care of the church.” Canon law includes “gender identity or expression” in its list of persons who are assured full access to the ministry of the church. The law further specifies that administrative forms must include options for both preferred and legal names, and for gender identity and pronoun preference.” https://www.hrc.org/resources/what-does-the-bible-say-about-homosexuality  

https://www.hrc.org/resources/what-does-the-bible-say-about-homosexuality 

 I wonder how much pain and suffering of those in the LGBTQ+ community could have avoided if King James had better translators or hadn’t been afraid or were not using the Bible for their own agenda. 

See, again, while this is not a new conversation, yet it was only this year that the United Methodists, this month actually, that they voted at their general convention to repeal their longstanding ban on LGBTQ+ clergy. With no debate. But there had been years of pain, debate and many, on either side, leaving the Methodist church.  

And still now. NOW! Just last year as I stood here, the Supreme Court had just ruled on a case that would limit LGBTQ+ rights. The court said in the 6-3 vote that it is about freedom of speech. I am not a attorney. I do know that reading the Constitution is a little like parsing a page of Talmud. I still haven’t had time to digest it all. It is, after all, it is still news ripped from the headlines and I am sure it will be spun and spun again. And this is how the Bible gets used as a political document. 

“The Supreme Court Friday ruled in favor of a Christian web designer in Colorado who refuses to create websites to celebrate same-sex weddings out of religious objections. 

The 6-3 decision was penned by Justice Neil Gorsuch and joined by Chief Justice John Roberts and Justices Samuel Alito, Amy Coney Barrett, Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas. Justice Sonia Sotomayor penned a dissent joined by her liberal colleagues Justices Elena Kagan and Ketanji Brown Jackson.” https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/live-blog/supreme-court-decisions-student-loan-lgbtq-live-updates-rcna91936  

 

And while that hasn’t been time to study it, I actually see it as a slam against freedom of religion not just freedom of speech. This is not the first time courts have ruled against LGBTQ+ rights and it has the very real possibility that it could also impact our rights as Jews . But if you don’t have to do business with someone who is gay just because you don’t like that “lifestyle” then you also don’t have to do business with someone who is Jewish. You think I’m making this up? Nope. 

In 2019, South Carolina wanted to deny the rights of LGBTQ people and Jews to be foster parents.  

“The federal government agreed Wednesday to allow federally funded foster care agencies in South Carolina to deny services to same-sex or non-Christian couples. 

The waiver issued by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services will allow Greenville’s Miracle Hill Ministries to continue as a state-supported foster care agency.” https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/s-c-group-can-reject-gays-jews-foster-parents-trump-n962306  

The flip may also be true. This year there is a new bill that might drive Christians out of foster care. “Safe and Appropriate Foster Care Placement Requirements,” will require foster parents to “utilize the child’s identified pronouns, chosen name, and allow the child to dress in an age-appropriate manner that the child believes reflects their self-identified gender identity and expression.” 

 https://www.afa.net/activism/action-alerts/2023/biden-s-proposed-rule-will-drive-christians-from-foster-care/ For me this is scary stuff. This has been a year of unprecedented rising anti-semitism and too frequent disinformation and misinformation, Others will call it propaganda.  That is part of what enabled ordinary people, our neighbors, to agree to aid and abet Hitler. Hitler did not act alone. He used his powers of persuasion and propaganda to convince people to do the unthinkable. 

It is important to show up. To be allies. To speak out. Tomorrow it may rain. I hope that they get the parade it. I hope they get the festival in. I will be there in spirit. I hope others will walk through in the afternoon. Pride is more than rainbows and unicorns. We cannot afford to take our eyes off this all too important topic. It is a matter of freedom of religion—our freedom of religion. And freedom of speech. And so, I am proud to stand as a Pride ally.  

May the door of this organization be wide enough
 to receive all who hunger for love, all who are lonely for friendship.
May it welcome all who have cares to unburden,
 thanks to express, hopes to nurture.
May the door of this institution be narrow enough to
 shut out pettiness and pride, envy and enmity.
May its threshold be no stumbling block
to young or straying feet.
May it be too high to admit complacency, selfishness and harshness.
 May this be, for all who enter, the doorway to a richer and more meaningful life.
 From Mishkan T’Filah 

BeHar 5784: Proclaim Liberty, Release Them Now

Proclaim Liberty Throughout the Land to all the inhabitants thereof.” (Lev XXV:10). These are part of today’s Torah portion. And, they appear on the “Liberty Bell” in Pennsylvania. 

How nice that this year at least they are the words that we Jews read as sacred scripture for Memorial Day Weekend. It gives us the opportunity to pause, to reflect and to consider what these central words mean to us as Americans and as Jews. As Jewish Americans or American Jews.  

And that is exactly what I said several years ago. Before. In May of 2016. Before Charlottesville. Before a pandemic. Before we talked about rising anti-semitism. Before October 7th. Before. 

It turns out, there is very little Jewish commentary on them. They seem to be pretty self-explanatory. Rashi has one comment but there isn’t that usual question hanging in the air, “What’s bothering Rashi?” He points out that this liberty was especially for slaves during the Jubilee year. 

What then is a jubilee?  

  • a special anniversary of an event, especially one celebrating twenty-five or fifty years of a reign or activity. 

“jubilee celebrations” 

adjective 

“cherries jubilee” 

 

I think though that it gets confused with jubilant. To rejoice or shout with joy. Psalm 100 begs, “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord.”  At a jubilee we clearly should with joy, jubilantly Can we today?  

Jews have not celebrated a jubilee year since being in captivity in Babylon in about 600 BCE. A jubilee — yovel in Hebrew — is a year observed once in 50 years, following seven cycles of seven-year shmita, or sabbatical, years, the shmita year. We are back to counting. Like the shmita year, the jubilee is one in which no agricultural work is to be done and the land is to lie fallow. But jubilee also has some additional rituals. Like blowing the shofar to announce the beginning of one, Maimonides cites our very reading this morning:  

Maimonides cites our very portion this morning, Leviticus 25:9-10, which states: “Then shall you cause the shofar to sound on the tenth day of the seventh month, on Yom Kippur shall you sound the shofar throughout all your land. And you shall hallow the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout all the land to all its inhabitants; it shall be a jubilee for you.” Those very words on the liberty bell.  

This is radical, A unique, compassionate way to arrange society, and something to shout joyfully about, 

AND YE SHALL PROCLAIM LIBERTY unto slaves, both to him whose ear has been pierced (and whose period of servitude has thus been prolonged until the Jubilee; cf. Exodus 21:6) and to him whose six years of servitude (the period prescribed for an ordinary Hebrew servant; Exodus 21:6 Exodus 21:2), reckoning from the time when he was sold, have not yet ended. R. Jehuda said, “What is the etymology of the term דרור, freedom? A free man is like a person who may dwell (דור) at an inn — meaning that he may reside in any place he pleases, and is not under the control of others. (דרור therefore implies liberty of residence) (Rosh Hashanah 9b). (Rashi on Lev 25:10) 

For me, this verse is something of a continuing word puzzle, and I love puzzles. So bear with me… 

Proclaim here is from the root Karah, to call out, to read. Something we announce outloud, just like we read Torah, outloud, publicly, Loudly. That was the purpose of putting this on the liberty bell. The bell, much like a shofar that proclaimed the jubilee year did the proclaiming, the announcing, the shouting. 

But the Hebrew word for liberty is surprising. It is dror…which really means release. What are we being released from? How does it differ from freedom or liberty? That’s where this gets interesting…. 

To release is to allow or enable to escape from confinement; to set free. Prisoners are released. Slaves are released. That’s what this verb is talking about. To allow something to move, act or flow freely. Synonyms include free, set free, let go/out, liberate, untie, undo, loose, unleash, unfetter. 

We release balloons. Maybe that is how we should celebrate. I’ve seen plenty of them around this weekend and seniors are “released” from school and graduate. Nope. Pretty, but not good for the environment or the birds. 

My colleague, Cantor Vera Broekhuysen was introducing to her congregation last night a song, Dror Yakira which is part of the Zemirot that are often sung on Shabbat afternoon. In our siddur, Siddur Sim Shalom, zemirot begin on page 316 with D’ror Yikar on 322. There is nothing more pleasant then sitting around late on Shabbat afternoon singing zemirot.  

D’ror Yikara was apparently composed in the 10th century. The version she is teaching is an updated Sephardic version of the one I learned as an undergraduate: 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJCh8NAJhes 

https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tVP1zc0TItPSTM3LzA2YPTiSinKL1KozMwuSgQAbXkIWw&q=dror+yikra&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS912US927&oq=dror+yikra&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqCggBEC4Y1AIYgAQyDQgAEAAY4wIYgAQYnwQyCggBEC4Y1AIYgAQyCggCEC4Y1AIYgAQyBwgDEAAYgAQyBwgEEAAYgAQyBwgFEAAYgAQyBwgGEC4YgAQyBwgHEAAYgAQyCAgIEAAYFhgeMggICRAAGBYYHtIBCDk2OTFqMGo3qAIAsAIA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&ip=1&vld=cid:7bab0ef2,vid:Wola3ImL9uQ,st:0 

The lyrics in this time are haunting: 

He grants release to lad and lass:
As His eye’s apple safe, they play.
Their innocence shall never pass:
Then take your ease this Sabbath day.

O seek in love my martyred shrine
And to mine eyes salvation show.
In Zion’s vineyard plant her vine
And hear my people’s cry of woe. 

May the hostages be released, safely, speedily and in our day.  Release them now!

Remember when Listen Up was here? They have a version of Acheinu, the prayer we have been saying since October. It came back to me from my chevruta partner, Rabbi Linda Shriner-Cahn, because really it is a small world: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYE7HQJCSPU 

But while we just observed Yom Hazikron, Israel Memorial Day on May 13 and Israel Indepence Day on May 14 this year, a muted version of other years, we live here in the United States, and this weekend we mark Memorial Day, dedicated to the men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice to protect our liberty, our freedom, 

Our ancestors, our relatives, came to this land, some earlier than others, for that sense of release, for freedom. For freedom to worship as they saw fit. For freedom, in some cases, not to worship at all. 

We have in this country, the freedom to do what we want to do, when we want to do it. Within reason. If I had chosen to sleep in this morning, and not come, I could have exercised that freedom but there would have been consequences.  

What freedoms do you value:  

We brainstormed a list of those freedoms we value here. It still read like the Bill of Rights. Freedom of religion, freedom to assemble, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, yes, even freedom to bear arms (although personally I believe there should be some limits on that one). 

There has been much discussion this year on freedom of speech and freedom to assemble. In fact, as we discussed, there are limits on freedom of speech. You cannot walk into this sanctuary, or a movie theatre and announce, proclaim if you will that there is a fire if there is no fire. 

Freedoms that I believe in but have limits.  And we added to our list freedom to select your own healthcare and freedom to vote. This week marked the anniversary of when Fiddler was released (another use of that word) as a movie. Like Tevye I pray for the freedom to sit in the synagogue and pray. Shabbat is a sign of the freedom to not work, to relax, to just be.  

As we have said, with freedom comes responsibility. The Torah is really clear on that point. Because we were slaves—and we were freed—we are responsible for taking care of the widow, the orphan, the stranger—as I often say, the most marginal among us. 

Jews have been praying on behalf of our governments since Jeremiah’s day, during the first exile to Babylon. Jews have been praying on behalf of the American government since colonial times and when this nation was young. I have read part of Moses Seixias’s prayer before to you. I have read the Richmond Jewish community’s prayer for Washington in the past. This one fascinates me because it is an acrostic spelling out Washington’s name in Hebrew. http://opensiddur.org/prayers-for/collective-welfare/government/prayer-for-george-washington-first-president-of-the-united-states-of-america-by-kahal-kadosh-beit-shalome-1789/ 

Our own prayer book, Siddur Sim Shalom has a prayer for our country. The Reform movement prayer books have prayers for our country. In Great Britain there are prayers for the queen, now king.  

The U46 School System has a mission statement that says that U46 is a great place for all students to learn, all teachers to teach and all employees to work. All means all. 

I have spent some time recently helping U46 navigate some very complicated waters around freedom of speech and honoring all students and staff. I still believe that “all means all.” For me, it comes from the idea that we are all created in the image of the Divine, we all have a spark of the divine in us.  

All means all. Quoting Tevye, “Sounds simple, no?” But how we achieve it is part of that American dream that is so important to me. To all of us. We want to be able to sit under our vine and fig tree where none will make us afraid. We want to be able to proclaim liberty throughout the land to ALL the inhabitants thereof. 

I ended that sermon in 2016 with these words: 

“I am glad that my ancestors had the vision to come to this country. I am glad that many of them were compelled to fight for the freedoms that they believed in—the very same ones that I believe in too. The very same ones that our American ancestors, William Bradford, Samuel Adams, John and Abigail Adams, Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Moses Sexias, Gershom Mendes, Hayyim Solomon Rebecca Gratz dreamed of. An America that would be a light to the nations. A new Jerusalem. Those freedoms include, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Those freedoms include “justice for all.” All means all. That is what my ancestors, my Jewish ones and my American ones dreamed of and fought for. We are not there yet. We have a ways to go. And a responsibility to make sure that the next generation, from generation to generation, l’dor v’dor can live in a land that embraces all. I am willing to fight for it. With my words. Responsibly.” 

Veganism versus Meat-Eating

Warning: Long post ahead. Earilier today I debated Rabbi Shmuly Yaklowitz, one of the brightest most compassionate rabbis I know. I was excited about this project because I have wanted to expose my people to him. He is modern Orthodox, although he never used that term, whose publisher is the CCAR, the Reform movement and he stands with me on many social justice issues I care about. Perfect for our fiercely independent congregation, And if we win, we get a $5000 prize. A fundraiser where money comes from outside Elgin. Perfect. Topic? Is vegan or meat-eating the most authentic Judaism. Ready, set, go. Current topic, timely and i don’t think it is possible to “win”. In fact several of my colleagues tried to talk me out of it. I decided to try anyway. 

Format: 

I speak 10 minutes 

He speaks, 10 minutes 

I respond 10 minutes 

He responds 10 minutes 

Q&A and Voting 

All on Zoom 

 

Here are my remarks and my responses: 

 

It may be true that I have often said that steak, baked potato and asparagus is my favorite meal. But does that make it an authentic Jewish meal?  Is eating meat authentically Jewish? And while I have many friends who are vegan, for a variety of reasons, ethical, moral, health, envioronmental, I don’t think you can claim that veganism is authentically Jewish either. 

Before we dive into the texts that I collected and the comments that I solicited from other members of CKI and beyond, we need to define authentic: 

From the google dictionary box, which came from the Oxford languages authentic is: 

of undisputed origin; genuine. 

“the letter is now accepted as an authentic document” 

l 

based on facts; accurate or reliable. 

“an authentic depiction of the situation” 

 

Merriam Webster has it as: 

: not false or imitation : REAL, ACTUAL 

an authentic cockney accent
2: true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character 

is sincere and authentic with no pretensions
3 a: worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact 

paints an authentic picture of our society 

b: conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features 

an authentic reproduction of a colonial farmhouse 

c: made or done the same way as an original 

authentic Mexican fare 

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/authentic 

 

My job here today is to prove that eating meat is authentically Jewish. 

 

My question then becomes does authentic make it unique? I think so. Judaism represents a wide ranging culture. As I explained to D300 earlier this week there is no one Jewish American culture. Culture includes things like how we worship, how we believe, what morals and ethics we subscribe to, our music, our art, our writings and yes, our food.  

Food is important in Judaism. When our confirmation kids interviewed all of you at the Chanukah bazaar back in November, long before we even dreamed of this debate, the number one thing people liked about being Jewish was the food. Number 2 was community.   

What seems to unite Jews across the world is how we eat, the system of how we eat called kashut, which really means fit or proper. 

 

From almost the beginning of time in Judaism, in our writings, the Torah, people have eaten meat. While in the Garden of Eden, Eve and Adam didn’t eat meat, by Cain and Abel, they were offering sacrifices Abel’s from the field and Cain’s from the flock. G-d preferred Abel’s and rejected Cain’s. It seems G-d likes meat. 

 

As Myrna explained it, since G-d created people with canine teeth, designed to tear meat, G-d must have meant us therefore to eat meat. We thought maybe we could rest there our debate right here.  

 

But wait, you say, Cain and Abel were not yet Jews, not yet Israelites. So let’s continue.  

 

Noah wasn’t Jewish either, per se.  But by Chapter 9 of Genesis we get these words from G-d.  

Every creature that lives shall be yours to eat; as with the green grasses, I give you all these.You must not eat flesh with life blood in it. (Genesis 9 3) But eating meat is not expressly forbidden, just not with blood, so the assumption is that it must be OK, from the pure animals that Noah put on the ark. 

Just before the exodus from Egypt, when the Israelites were waiting for the 10th plague, they nervousl,y at G-d’s bidding sacrificed a lamb and put the blood on their doorposts so that the angel of death would pass over their houses and spare their first born. A miracle! It worked. The blood of a lamb protected the Israelites. The original seders were simple harkening back to that moment—matzah, bitter herbs and LAMB. While some may put a beet on their seder plates today to represent that blood, others see the Hillel sandwich, again, originally matzah, lamb and bitter herbs, as throwback to that original command.  

We are in the middle of reading the book of Leviticus, Vakikra, and much of it has to do with animal sacrifice. Leviticus is clear: “Say to the Israelites: Of all the animals that live on land, these are the ones you may eat:” Leviticus: 11:2 A long list ensures of what we can and cannot eat. And of course, we know that it also says twice, specifically no pig.  

These animal sacrifices were designed to help us draw close to G-d. One of their very names, korban means to draw close. That name was in yesterday’s parsha. Our job is to draw close to G-d. One way we do that is through the sacrificial system. One way we do that is how we intentionally eat. 

 

What possible relevance could this have for our own time? We no longer have the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, and we know that deeds of lovingkindness have replaced animal sacrifice. As I often say we are not going to have a barbecue in the synagogue parking lot—well maybe for the Men’s Club Scotch and Steak in the Sukkah or Lag B’omer which is coming up next week Sunday.  

 

But in a mystical way, according to the Kabbalah, sacrificing animals elevates our souls and even that of the animal. I learned this tidbit while at the Govenor’s Seder sitting next to the Chabad rabbi Mendy Turen of Springfield. While I am not sure I completely understand this, I offer: 

 

“The detailed laws of animal sacrifices are no exception. Physically, they don’t relate to us in our present age, but on a psychological and spiritual level, these laws relate to us a timeless message for human challenge and growth. Deleting them from the Bible is an amputation of a vital, indispensable component of the spiritual opportunities life offers us.” That opportunity allows us chance to complete our chief task in life to challenge our own inner animal, every day anew, bringing it one step closer to our higher, deeper self, and to the G‑dly space within us.” https://www.chabad.org/kabbalah/article_cdo/aid/2502892/jewish/Elevating-Our-Animals.htm 

 

Or as Gene tried to explain it to me, animal sacrifice was a triple win, the life of the animal was taken for a higher purpose, your life was cleansed and the Levites, who were tasked with performing this sacrificial system had full gainful employment, 

When we finally entered the land of Israel as described in Deuteronomy, we were told: 

When the Lord your G-d has enlarged your territory as he promised you, and you crave meat and say, “I would like some meat,” then you may eat as much of it as you want. (Deuteronomy 12:20) 

If this conversation is really about eating vegan what do we do with the idea that the very land of Israel is described as a good land, a land “flowing with milk and honey.” as several of you pointed out.  In order for there to be milk, there must be cows, or goats or sheep, to make that milk. We are marching towards Shavuot. Today is the 26th day of the counting of the Omer. The tradition is to have dairy foods for Shavuot to represent that very land. So think cheesecake, blintzes. Remember that Chanukah also features cheese as Judith served the enemy salty cheese and then got him drunk to relieve his thirst. Dairy is baked into our heritage, making it authentic to our diet, to our culture. 

That’s as far as I got in my frist 10 minutes. Oy!  

He talked about the reason for eating comes all the way from the Garden of Eden. Before Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, all that was eaten was fruit and vegetables, a vegan diet. It was simple. It was pure. And it was morally defensible. For every food choice we make we are voting with our values. My response would be that there is a difference between ethical, moral and compassionate and authentic which is how he set up the debate. Based on the the 13 Atrtributes of G-d, we are to be compassionate. I agree. Abd every food choice illustrate how we live in a just world.  

 

My part 2
Another way we are authentically Jewish is by keeping kosher, the authentic, unique ways that Jews eat, based on the Torah itself. We are told that there are no extra words in the Torah. If we were not meant to keep kosher, not meant to eat meat at all since the Torah provides an extensive list of the animals we can eat wouldn’t it have been much simpler and more effective to say in a staccato voice, “Don’t eat meat!” full stop. 

 The rabbis of the Talmud write extensively about how to eat meat, reminding us three times we are not to cook meat and milk together…but they don’t argue that we shouldn’t eat meat at all. One of these long arguments is on Chullin 115b which we don’t have time to fuly explore:
 https://www.sefaria.org/Chullin.115b.7?lang=bi  

In another place, that seems ripped from today’s headlines, they are asked because the Holy Temple has been destroyed, we should not eat meat at all. Many survivors became ascetics, thinking they should hot eat meat or drink wine since these were used in the Holy Temple. But Rabbi Yehoshua rebuked them saying OK, no meat or wine, but they you really ought to stop eating bread because the first fruits can not be brought. Or drink water since the water libations have ceased. Rabbi Yehoshua explained that people needed to mourn but not excessively, and that people could eat meat! (Bava Batra 60b) My thanks to Sharon Brous who retold this story in her new book, the Amen Effect.  

In the modern world many have spoken about the idea that kashrut laws are designed to make Jews Jews.  

I didn’t always keep kosher. In fact, in my Hebrew School I was taught that it was an outmoded form of Judaism. It wan’t and isn’t. It wasn’t until I got to college that I knew anyone who did.  

I keep Kosher, because much like the animal sacrifices we discussed before, it draws me closer to the Divine. It is about mindful eating. I have to slow down, stop and think. It is a way of being inclusive. Anyone can eat in my home. Anyone can eat here at CKI. While some people think it separates Jews from others like brit milah, circumcision, mezuzah and Shabbat, I find it does quite the opposite. Hebrew National had it right. We answer to a higher authority and people seem to want to be part of that.   

The book Kosher Nation, written by Sue Fishkoff and published in 2010, details why More and More of America’s Food Answers to a Higher Authority as the subtitle suggests. Kashrut in America is growing, not shrinking, precisely because it is authentic. Joan Nathan’s cookbook—really a history book Jewish Cooking in America collects much of what we think as Jews we eat—authentically. As many of you have pointed out and the confirmation class concurs, who can imagine Judaism without cholent (Ok, you can make a vegetarian version of that!), or chopped liver, Barbara Njus described that as essential! Chicken soup, brisket, chopped liver, all got votes. Cheesecake, blintzes, latkes, all traditional Ashkanazi treats all were mentioned. Sephardic delicacies, shashuska, Israeli chicken sofrito, Simon’s beloved northern Italian cooking: fried chicken for Chanukah, roast chicken for Shabbat, all authentic Jewish cooking.   

Blu Greenberg in her book, How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household, published in 1983 said this:
“I believe that the purpose of kashrut is to make eating a special experience and to serve as a reminder of a Jew’s ethical conscience as well as of the other unique teachings of Judaism. To me, distinctiveness and not separation is the Jew’s calling. This feeling is possible in the presence of nonobservant Jews and of non-Jews. The values of friendship, human solidarity, and socializing are highly esteemed Jewish values; making a living and exchanging professional service (sometimes performed over a meal) also are respected in Jewish culture. One of the great qualities of the Jewish tradition is its ability to balance contradictions—idealism and realism, Jewish particularism and unusual concern for humanity. Similarly, in the act of eating, one can strike that balance between fidelity to one’s own principles and shared friendship and respectful contact with others.” (page 12) 

But while kashrut, including eating meat keeps me mindful and makes me an authentic Jew, it may not always be the most ethical choice. Blu’s husband, Rabbi Yitz Greenberg, and I think Reb Shmuly’s teacher, was one of only a few Orthodox Rabbis who boycotted non-union lettuce and grapes in 1971. When I got married, we both came into the marriage with the More with Less Cookbook published by the Mennonites, a cousin denomination to the CHurch of the Brethren head uquartered here in Elgin and also a “peace church”.Originally published in 1976 and updated periodically, iIt is the book that first made me aware that for every pound of beef you needed 14 pounds of grain. This is an ethical argument, and a powerful one, particularly in our current climate crisis. However, we do have enough resources in the world to feed the hungry if only we could figure out how to share equitably. We do that partially by own own community garden takening the words of yesterday’s portion to leave the corners of our fields for the widow, the orphan and the stranger, the most marginalize amongst us.  

Others have argued that most of the kosher meat plants in America do not slaughter animals in a compassionate way and do not treat their workers equitably. That is very true in the articles that I have read, but while I deplore those conditions, it doesn’t mean that eating meat is not authentically Jewish. We need to find a balance.  

https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/114040?lang=bi  

https://www.sefaria.org/topics/meat?tab=sources  

 

Like Rabbi Greenberg and Rabbi Zalman Schacter Shlomi and my own teacher Rabbi Everett Gendler, one of the first Jewish vegetarians, Rabbi Shmuly has also been at the vanguard of something called eco-kashrut. He cites in an article published on My Jewish Learning, that the “The Torah and other Jewish literature lend support for ethical kashrut initiatives. Nahmanides, a 13th century Spanish rabbi, argued (Leviticus 19:1) that if people consume food that is technically kosher from a ritual perspective but do not embrace the ethics that come along with consumption then they are naval birshut haTorah (despicable with the permission of the Torah). They have broken no formal kashrut prohibitions but their act is shameful, and they have not lived by the moral and ethical intentions of the Torah. Nahmanides is referring to eating in moderation but his value certainly lends to broad extension. Simply put: permissible consumption does not necessarily mean good consumption….” That is true, as I have argued. He founded an organization called Tav HaYosher (The Ethical Seal) in 2009. Like a Conservative Movement initiative, Magen Tzedek which is certifying kosher factories to secure worker’s rights to fair pay, fair time and safe working conditions. He argues, however, that “in short, ethical does not redefine kashrut, rather they are complementary and distinct. However, the article does not say that we shouldn’t eat meat, rather that we need to figure out how to do so ethically.  

 

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/ethical-kashrut/  

 

Do we need to do a better job living out our moral compass to compassion? You bet! But today we are merely talking about whether meat is authentically Jewish.  

 

https://www.sefaria.org/search?q=kashrut%20ethical&tab=sheet&tvar=1&tsort=relevance&svar=1&ssort=relevance 

I have known many people who are vegans, and I appreciate the dedication and intention, dedication and real work, but my last argument is around pekuach nefesh, saving a life. Several of you—perhaps some even on this call, have recently been asked to add at least some chicken back into your diets. It turns out it may not be quite as healthy as we once thought, If you need lengthy articles on this, they have been supplied by a registered dietian at University Hosptial in Ann Arbor and backed by my own physician. Eating less meat: Good, Eating no meat: Not uite yet. Pekuach nefesh, saving a life is a very high value in Judaism, so eating meat is authentically and importanlty Jewish. 

In conclusion, you can be authentically Jewish by being a vegetarian or a vegan. Like Queen Esther was in the palace, it is an easy way to hide your Judaism or if non-kosher meat etc is not available, However, as I have demonstrated. there is so much in Judaism that revolves around meat, in Torah, in Talmud, throughout the ages to our own day, eating meat really is authentically Jewish. Could we, should we, be more ethical about how meat is acquired, but it is authentic to eat meat. 

And now…more chicken soup! Chicken soup is good for the soul, and might just heal my cold. 

He responded by talking about compassion as a way to emanate G-d, which it is. Compassion is important. Judaism has been evolving for thousands of years. Hey, he’s right we even have women rabbis! Judaism will continue to evolve. No doubt about that. Can we get the balance better? You bet. But eating meat is authentically Jewish.
In the Torah 

  • Authentic In the Tanach 
  • Authentic In the Talmud 
  • Authentic In the codes 
  • Authentic In our culture 
  • Authentic today.  

Thanks to  

Anita Horung
Simon Klein
Ellen Levy
Gene Lindow
Barbara Njus
Amie Flexner Ritchie
Myrna Rosenbaum
R. Linda Shriner-Cahn
Anita Silverman
R. Mendy Turen

Kedoshim 5784: A Salute to Mothers

Happy Mother’s Day Weekend. Before you tell me that Mother’s Day isn’t a Jewish holiday, maybe it should be. Right from our text today. Today we read Kedoshim, the Holiness code. You shall be holy because I the Lord your G-d am holy. It is the central most section of the Torah. It is a description of how to set up a civil society, a moral society, a Jewish society, based on Jewish values. And it begins with this quote, “Fear your mother and your father, and keep My sabbaths, I am the Lord your G-d.” Now we are not going to debate what holiness means or whether it should be fear or revere your mother or why the order is mother and father here but in the 10 Commandments it is honor your father and mother. 

Today we are going to look at how the image and ideals of mothers have changed over time in Judaism.  

Last night we looked at the poem from Proverbs that many husbands read to their wives callee Eishet Chayil. A woman of valor…who can find. Remember, this is an ideal. We Kleins use it a checklist. Did I work and give food to the needy? A portion to my workers? Did I open my mouth with wisdom? Maybe. And is the law of kindness on my tongue? I’ll keep working on it. These days there are other versions of Eishet Chayil to reflect other kinds of families. Two women. Two men. A divorced or blended family. So, so many combinations these days.  

Eishet Chayil while part of Proverbs, midrashically is what Abraham used as his eulogy of Sarah. It is still used at many women’s funerals. (Not my mother’s! She felt it didn’t represent her understanding of feminism, despite this woman being a business owner, buying and selling fields and working from early morning until late at night!) 

The Jewish matriarchs were Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah. None were perfect. Sarah and Rebecca struggled with infertility and their solutions didn’t always work. Mother’s Day can be tough, if you’ve lost a child, are waiting for a child, lost a parent or your own marriage didn’t work the way you thought it would. Rachel even hid her idols on the way…it is said in Jeremiah that Rachel is still weeping for her children. This year I think we all weep for children…those in American who don’t have access to good health care, those who are abused, those who don’t have enough to eat. That list goes on and oneAnd yes, we weep for children in Gaza, for children in Israel. So, so many tears. 

The history of Mother’s Day is not just a Hallmark Card. It was originally started by some mothers who didn’t want to send another child, a son, off to the Civil War. There must be a better way. There still must be a better way.  

Julia Ward Howe wrote a poem in the 1870s: 

 

Last night I asked if anyone knew “A Yiddishe Mama” well enough to sing Adon Olam to it. No one even knew it! So here is one version of the Yiddish classic originally sung by Sophie Tucker.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weYcCyf-3RU 

Sometimes Bruiah, the wife of Rabbi Meir, herself a scholar and a teacher and therefore sometimes described as the first woman rabbi has an important and painful story to teach about her own children. The midrash tells us that the couple was blessed with two boys who brought their parents much joy. One Shabbat afternoon both sonds suddenly became ill and died. Rather than rushing off to the study hall, the beit midrash where Rabbi Meir was teaching, Bruiah waited until she came home and greeted him at the door withwith what seemed to be a puzzle. what seemed to be a puzzle. “A man lent me a fine gift,” she told him, “and now he has come and asked me to return it.” “W”What is the problem? If it was borrowed, it must be returned.” asked Rabbi Meir. asked Rabbi Meir. “The problem is that the gift is something that I cherish very much and it is hard for me give it up,” she answered. 

“But it is not yours,” her husband replied. “You should be thankful that this man lent you something that gave you such pleasure and be happy to return it.” Then Bruriah led her husband to the next room where their two sons lay still in their bed. I can’t even begin to imagine those parents pain.  

In 1670, Gluckl of Hamlin (https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/glueckel-of-hameln) began to write a diary in Yiddish. She was a young bride (14 is young!) and gave birth to 12 children. (I can’t even imagine!) Sadly her husband died in 1689 with still 8 of those children not yet married. He had been quite the business person and she took over the business, traveling all over Europe to ply their wares despite the great risks. She also used those trips to arrange marriages for her children. If you have nf you have not read these memoirs I encouage you strongly to do so.  

One of the stories in her memoir is about a mother eagle who must transport her fledglings over a stormy sea to a new next. These four baby birds depent on her, She fights a head wind, her wings grow ever weaker and there is still too far to go. She asks the first baby, “Do you love me and will you promise to repay me for this?” Yes, I swear,” tweets the first bird. 

But the mother bird senses a lie. She drops that little bird into the sea. Same for eaglet two and three. But number four gives a different answer: “”Mother,” he says, “I can only promise that when I have my own children, I shall do as much for them as you have done for me.” The debt will be paid in full, but only to your grandchildren. 

The weary mother knew the truth when she heard it. She fought with the wind and her fatigue and brought her child who would become the father of her grandchildren safely to the shore. It reminds me a little of Honi and the carob tree. Our ancestors planted for us so we must plant, or fly across the sea for our children and grandchildren. It is one of those l’dor va dor moments. From generation to generation.  

Last night from Leo Rostens Treasure of Jewish Quotations we learned that G-d could not be everywhere, so He created mothers. OK, and as I often quip text me when you get home, I was a Jewish mother before I was a rabbi. But do we really know where it is from? Rosten didn’t source it so I did some investigating. Some think it might be in the Talmud but it is hard to find that exact quote. It might just be a Jewish parable. Or it might be from Golda Meir, who knows where she picked it up.Or maybe it is Rudyard Kipling. No matter, as a parable it rings true, coupled with all the jokes about Jewish mothers.  

The Bookery explains the quote this way: “beautifully encapsulates the concept and significance of motherhood. With profound simplicity, she emphasizes the divine role mothers play in our lives. The quote suggests that mothers possess a unique ability to provide the unconditional love, care, and guidance that we seek. It recognizes the exceptional strength, compassion, and selflessness that mothers embody as they nurture and protect their children. Golda Meir’s words not only highlight the irreplaceable bond between mother and child but also acknowledge the immense impact mothers have in shaping individuals and society as a whole.” https://www.bookey.app/quote-author/golda-meir#:~:text=Golda%20Meir’s%20quote%2C%20%22God%20cannot,mothers%20play%20in%20our%20lives.  

Golda Meir had much to say about parenting and peace: in 1957, before the National Press Club in Washington: “Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us. (She also made a similar statement specifically regarding Nasser.) In a similar vein, she would say, Peace will come when an Arab leader is courageous enough to wish it. Or perhaps you like this versionthis version:
“When peace comes we will perhaps in time be able to forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but it will be harder for us to forgive them for having forced us to kill their sons. Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.” 

In Rabbi Harold Kusher’s book, How Good Do We Have to Be? A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness, he has an entire chapter of “Father and Sons, Mothers and Daughters.” This book too is worth the whole read. But today I want to offer you this. He quotes Marian Wright Edelman’s book, the Measure of Our Success with a Letter to my sons: “I seek your forgiveness for all the times I talked when I should have listened, got angry when I should have been patient, acted when I should have waited; feared when I should have been delighted, scolded when I should have encouraged, criticized when I should have complimented said no when I should have said yes and said yes when I should have said not. I did not know a whole lot about parenting or how to ask for help. I often tried too hard and wanted and demanded so much and mistakenly sometimes tried to mold you into my image of what I wanted you to be rather than discovering and nourishing you as you emerged and grew.” Page 90-91 

These are important words. Many have struggled with their relationships with their mothers. Perhaps they were overbearing, helicopter parents. Perhaps they were verbally abusive. Perhaps they abused. Perhaps they were demanding or distant or didn’t understand how to parent. Do any of us, really? Those matriarchs didn’t. Kusher tells the story in his book of being asked whether an adult daughter had to go to her mother’s funeral. He says no, but encouages her to go to mourn the relationship with her parent that she wished she had had. On this Mother’s Day Weekend, words to think about. 

Another thing to think about is the legacy we leave our children. One way to do that is by creating an ethical will, a written testament of the values you want to pass down to your children and grand children. Here is a one paragraph ethical will from a mother to her children: 

“I fully expect that I will live for a very long time, to see you well into adulthood and to share your future with you. There is much to look forward to and I am planning on being part of all the adventures and all the challenges and all the joys. But if for some reason I am not, the most important thing you need to know is how much my love for you created the person that you will remember as me. I made you quite literally, in my womb, but you made me, too. I am so proud of you and so grateful to you.  When the time comes, and none of us can answer the question of when that will be, you need to know that without a doubt, I was fulfilled in my life. I have had a wonderful life and I don’t want you to mourn me – maybe a little, but not too long!  Carry me forward by re-creating the net that I was for you and be it for others. Carry me forward in your kitchen with oatmeal scones and casserole bread and pie, warm from the oven and made for your own delectable pleasure, or for those you care about.  Carry me forward with an optimistic outlook and tenacious devotion to what you know is best. Carry me forward and I will be with you always.” 

https://www.personallegacyadvisors.com/examples-of-ethical-wills/#:~:text=A%20one%20paragraph%20ethical%20will,challenges%20and%20all%20the%20joys.  

However you choose to celebrate this weekend, we hope that it is what you would want. And remember our parsha, “You shall be holy because I the Lord your G-d am holy. Revere your mother and your father, I am the Lord.”