My daughter graduated from college this week. I keep saying high school. She is a bright, accomplished, talented woman with academic honors. More importantly than that, she is compassionate and kind, loyal and caring, fiercely championing the rights of others. And she is funny and fun to be around. We couldn’t ask for a better daughter or be prouder of how she turned out thus far. Judaism marks all kinds of lifecycle events—birth, starting school, Bar and Bat Mitzvah, confirmation, marriage, death. We have nothing formal for graduation. That maybe because learning is a life long pursuit. It is true that this is a commencement not an ending. Yet graduation is liminal time. It is a transition moment. She is unsure completely what she will do next—although she knows what she wants to do. She is not even sure where she will live. She is happy, excited, scared, nervous all at the same time. So are we. Havdalah, the ceremony that marks the end of Shabbat and the transition to the rest of the week may come closest to how I feel. When she was little I wrote a special Havdalah to mark her transition to being a reader in pre-school. Somehow this seems very appropriate now as well. There needs to be someway to capture this mix of emotions…gratitude, love and poignant memories.

In the month you were born, January 1990, Dr. Seuss published his last book. Oh the places you’ll go.

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.

OH!

THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

This month Maurice Sendak died. Granny delighted in reading you in the Night Kitchen and Where the Wild Things Are. It helped prevent monsters or maybe witches under your bed. As Carol said,  “And on our way… I can show you your kingdom. This is all yours. You’re the owner of this world. Everything you see is yours. Oh, except that hole over there, that’s Ira’s. The tree’s yours, but the hole is Ira’s. But everything else is yours. Except for that rock over there, that’s not yours. That little rock next to the big rock. But everything else in the kingdom… except for that stick. That little stick right there, that’s not yours.” I want you to be a princess forever.

Tomorrow you will get up and get dressed in fancy clothes.
Tomorrow you will be hooded with academic honors
You will walk across the stage and everyone will applaud for you.
You will move your tassel from one side to the other
And cross the transom
Another step in becoming a real adult.
Tonight we pause.
We mark that transition.
That separation
Between Shabbat and the six days of the week
Between the light of knowledge and wisdom and the darkness of ignorance
Between holy and profane

Tonight we are bittersweet
Like Havdalah
We are happy for the opportunities you have had
Happy for the accomplishments
Happy for this moment
And a little sad
One time is ending
Another is beginning
Filled with new opportunities
New challenges
New possibilities
You are on the cusp
Of a great new adventure

Childhood was for fantasies, for nursery rhymes and toys.
The world was much too busy to understand small girls and boys.
As I grew up, I came to learn that life was not a game,
That heroes were just people that we called another name.
And the old shall dream dreams, and the youth shall see visions,
And our hopes shall rise up to the sky.
We must live for today; we must build for tomorrow.
Give us time, give us strength, give us life.

Now I’m grown, the years have passed, I’ve come to understand:
There are choices to be made and my life’s at my command.
I cannot have a future ‘til I embrace the past.
I promise to pursue the challenge, time is going fast.
Today’s the day I take my stand, the future’s mine to hold.
Commitments that I make today are dreams from days of old.
I have to make the way for generations come and go.
I’ll have to teach them what I’ve learned so they will come to know.

Wine gladdens our heart, the symbol of happiness and holiness.  Now we end Shabbat with its sweetness. We give thanks for the day and this time of college that is ending. For one last chance to spend time with friends and family,  for the blessings of Shabbat: for peace and joy, rest and refreshment. For the blessings of learning, for the opportunities it affords. For the sweetness of this moment and the champagne we are about to drink. May you always have a bottle in your refrigerator to celebrate the big moments like today, or the little moments day by day by day. May something of the meaning of this moment and the beauty of the day remain with us as we enter the new week, lifting all that we do to a higher plane of holiness.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam borei prei hagafen.
Praise to You, Adonai our God Sovereign of the Universe, Creator of the Fruit of the vine.

The end of Shabbat is a bittersweet time. The sweet spices that we are about to smell  console us. Six days will pass and Shabbat will return again. They make us yearn for the sweetness of rest and the fragrance of growing things, for the clean smell of the earth after a spring rain and the innocence of childhood, and for a dream of a world healed from pain, as the world was when it was first created and the Lord rested from creation. Tonight in addition we miss others and are poignantly aware of their absence.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam borei minei v’samim.
Praise to You, Adonai our God, sovereign of the Universe Creator of varied spices.

As the Baal Shem Tov taught: From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to the heavens. Tonight as we leave Shabbat and Hofstra, we light a braided candle with many wicks. symbolizing our coming together and integrating all that we have learned. May you be blessed as you go on our way with fire and passion, warmth and compassion to make the world a better place.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam borei m’orei ha’esh.
Praise to You, Adonai our God, sovereign of the Universe, Creator of the lights of fire.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, hamavdil bein kodesh l’chol, bein or l’choshech, bein yom hashvi’i l’sheishet yamei hama’ase. Baruch atah Adonai hamavdil bein kodesh l’chol.

Praise to You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe who makes distinctions between holy and everyday, between light and darkness, between Shabbat and the six days of work. Praise to You, who distinguishes between holy and everyday.

The light is gone, but our work is only just begun. It is said when God made the world, God made it full of light, but the light was too bright so God hid it. It is our task to repair the world and to gather that light back together again, to work for the day when that bright, pure white light is allowed to return. We have begun that task tonight. We pray for the strength to continue. as we go our separate ways.

Nonetheless to quote another favorite children’s book of yours…”I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.”

May you be blessed as you go on your way.
May you be guided in peace.
May you be blessed with calm and joy.
May this be your blessing. Amen.
May you be sheltered by the wings of peace.
May you be kept in safety and in love
May grace and compassion find their way to every soul.
May you be our blessing. Amen.