This past weekend we were privileged to attend two weddings. When I perform a wedding, I have the best view in the house, because I get to watch the couples’ smiles, their nervous laughter, and their deep love as they look into each others eyes. There is so much hope and optimism. It is one of the best parts of being a rabbi.

This weekend was no exception. Both brides looked beautiful, radiant. Both mothers had made handcrafted items, the first one the bride’s dress, the second one quilted centerpieces. Both ceremonies featured “Unity Candles”. Both used the same reading from the Ba’al Shem Tov, about light and couples coming together.

I performed only one of these weddings and only one wedding was Jewish. The Jewish wedding had a theme of superheroes, something both the bride and groom love. It was fun, whimsical and exactly what they wanted. Even the invitation had a superhero feel. We all need superheroes to right the wrongs of the day and to leap over tall buildings in a single bound. The couple was relaxed, fun, laughing throughout.

The other wedding was for a couple I greatly admire. He is our local Starbucks manager. She a therapist. Both in their own ways bring people together. He has an infectious smile and warmth. She is bubbly and vivacious. He is a Muslim from Morocco and speaks Arabic, French, Hebrew and English. She is from Portsmouth, with a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother. Both work to bring people together across cultural divides as well. It was, as we predicted a very diverse crowd.

As Jews, we are in the period known as the Three Weeks. From the 17th of Tammuz to Tisha B’av, which we mark this year on July 29th, we are in a period of mourning. On Tisha B’av, both Temples in Jerusalem were destroyed, the Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492, and the Warsaw Ghetto fell. Smashing a glass at a wedding is partly in memory of the destruction of the Temples. It also commemorates all the other things we mourn and the people we miss, who could not be there. It is said that the Second Temple was destroyed because of baseless hatred, sinat chinam, an even greater sin than idolatry, immorality or bloodshed. (Yoma 9b) To mark these three weeks, some Jews do not listen to instrumental music, wear leather, eat red meat (except on Shabbat), or celebrate. So traditionally weddings would not happen. At a Jewish camp I worked at that meant that instructional swim could happen but no free swim.

While we were celebrating these two weddings, there was another wedding miles away in Afghanistan. Twenty-three people were killed, including the father of the bride, who was a prominent MP. I choose to mark these three weeks differently, by working for peace and to build bridges between peoples. The weddings we attended this weekend did precisely that and stand in sharp contrast to the wedding in Afghanistan. Perhaps we need a superhero to repair the world. Sometimes it feels like that. In the meantime, may the memories of the weddings guests killed in Afghanistan be for a blessing. And may the two couples continue to build homes built on mutual respect and trust, as a sukkat shalom, a shelter of peace.