Rosh Hashanah Morning, Day Two 5773

These are the ties that bind. We just read one of the most challenging texts in Torah, the Akeda, the binding of Isaac. Abraham and Isaac went up the mountain together. Isaac questioned Abraham and wondered where the ram for the offering would be. Abraham answered that G-d would provide. They continued up the mountain together and in silence. Eventually Abraham bound Isaac to the wood to be the sacrifice. A very scary story. What kind of father does this to his child? In what can best be described as almost a Greek drama complete with Deus ex machina, G-d stops the action. Isaac is saved. What happens next to Isaac is not clear.

Ties that bind can refer to something else. The word religion means to tie back up into, to bind. It is our opportunity to reconnect with the Divine. To do teshuvah, to return. We are bound to a covenant that God made with the Israelites, with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob. A covenant was so strong and legally binding that it involved as a sign of that covenant the cutting of flesh or the sacrifice of an animal.

How many of you as children had a friend who became a blood brother, or a blood sister where you might have made a small cut and pressed the blood together, now bound forever. You would be best friends forever. Ill-advised because of the risk of blood borne illness including AIDS, there are now other similar kinds of ceremonies. I know my daughter had heart necklaces where the heart was broken in half and each friend kept one promising to be Best Friends Forever. The ties that bind.

Here at Congregation Kneseth Israel, we have ties that bind too. We are bound to each other through the friendships that we have developed over time. It is about trust. It is about being a community, about building community, one of the pillars of our vision statement.

How do we do that? How do we build community? We can’t legislate it. It takes time. It is about building trust and having a place that is non-judgmental where people feel safe to express their feelings, their joys, their concerns. A place where people want to celebrate with each other and to mourn when we need to. A place where we raise children together, where we take care of our seniors together. A place where people meet for a casual cup of coffee or a beer over a football game. A place where we volunteer at PADs or Habitat for Humanity or Meals on Wheels. A place where when one member needs help, others pitch in. The ties that bind.

My first weekend in Elgin, we saw that when the shiva luncheon and minyanim were coordinated smoothly and seemingly effortlessly on behalf of the Zemels so that there was one less thing for them to worry about after Sue’s father died and they were traveling back from Louisville. The ties that bind.

We saw it again when the Apples and Honey Oneg magically appeared. Almost magically, but really through the hard work and dedication of a number of people who quietly did what needed to be done behind the scenes so that it seemed seemless. They did it to honor a friend. The ties that bind.

Another example happened at a recent Men’s Club meeting where some additional funds were raised quickly and seemingly painlessly so no child would be denied a Jewish education because of inability to pay. Or when they gave up part of their weekends to paint my office and make sure that I and my family felt welcomed. The ties that bind.

Another example would be what we do with the community pantry and the new garden. People quietly have been dropping off food, placing it anonymously in the pantry in the hall. I even helped one couple unload their car, ruining their anonymity. Others can then take what they need without question. The ties that bind.

Each of these examples ties us more closely to one another and in turn builds community where we want to spend time together, thus deepening the connection and yes, the bonds between people. It also, in the process, you might even say as a by-product, deepens the connection each of us has with the Divine.

All is not perfect in this community. It can’t be. No community ever is. In my own personal community building exercise, as I make my calls to wish every family a shana tova and to introduce myself, the number one complaint I hear is that the congregation is too divisive. There is too much acrimony. People hold onto grudges. People’s feelings have been hurt. People feel they have been bullied.

One member told me about reading a great quote from Rick Warren, the pastor of the Saddleback Church. He couldn’t remember it exactly, but I went back to dig it up. Pastor Warren was speaking about the nation but it applies to this congregation as well. “We don’t know how to disagree without being disagreeable. The fact is, you can — you can walk hand-in-hand without seeing eye-to-eye. And what we need in our country is unity, not uniformity.”

The concerns that have been raised are serious. Something we need to continue to work on. It happens when people are passionate and care deeply. However, we need to be careful not to offend others in the heat of the moment. Not at, dare I say it, at board meetings, not in committee meetings and not in email. Think twice before you hit the send button. It is impossible to get an email back. Just talk to any number of teens who have been cyber-bullied. It is like the story of the feathers. Two women who were gossiping went to the rabbi for advice. He, it is always a he in these old stories, told them to take a pillow to the village square and scatter the feathers. They did that. Then they returned to the rabbi with the empty pillowcase. He told them to go back and gather all the feathers together. “But that’s impossible” they exclaimed. “Exactly,” he said. So it is with words. Once they have been spoken you cannot get them back.” It is a new world. So too with emails, with text messages and social media. Once it is out there it can spread like wildfire, or feathers. The tone or the meaning can be misinterpreted. t in my business life, I had a client who was Japanese working for an American company at is Lyon, France division. We completed the project, went to France to present to senior management and got a lovely email upon our return. They liked the presentation and the recommendations. They were glad that we made the effort to get to France. It was not going through channels. Wait! The first part of the email all complimentary did not go with the second half. Not going through channels? My boss and I puzzled over this for a day. It turned out it was a typo. It was only one letter off. It should have read “It is now going through channels.” One letter and a world of meanings a world apart.

Maybe I took too much Latin in high school but bear with me. The etymology of community comes from the Latin but it is not entirely clear. Com means with. Munus means gift or an exchange that links. It is related to moenia, walls or things that bind us together. That can include the duties and responsibilities. Being in a community is a responsibility. Those mutual responsibilities are what bind us together, whether within the actual walls or beyond. Communis means common, public, shared by many. It means being together as one. It means being in communion with one another so that people are not alone. So community is a gift we give one another. The ties that bind us together. It is a group of people who welcome and honor each other’s gifts and share our gifts mutually. The difference between those two roots, the letters u and i. You and I together make a community. The ties that bind.

The Israelites when they were building the mishkan, the portable tabernacle in the wilderness were asked to bring gifts each according to their skills and abilities, whosoever heart moved them to do so, both men and women specifically. There follows a list of what was needed. Gold, copper, silver, blue, purple, and crimson yarn, fine linen, goats’ hair, tanned ram skins, wood, oil, incense, fine stones like lapis luzi. And the one that surprises kids every year, dolphin skins, in the desert! Not much different from the prayer we say every Shabbat that we need people who supply the funds for heat and light and warmth and wine for Kiddush. We need so much more as a community. Debbie Friedman of blessed memory wrote a song about this.

These are the gifts that we bring
That we may build a holy place.

This is the spirit that we bring

That we may build a holy place.

We will bring all the goodness
That comes from our hearts

And the spirit of God will dwell within…..
These are the colors of our dreams

We bring to make a holy place.

This is the weaving of our lives

We bring to make a holy place.

We will bring all the goodness

That comes from our hearts

And the spirit of love will dwell within…..
These are the prayers that we bring
That we may make a holy place.

These are the visions that we seek
That we may build this holy place.

Let our promise forever be strong,
Let our souls rise together in song,

That the spirit of God
and the spirit of love,
Shechinah,

Will dwell within.

This is what we are doing here. Building a holy place. Building community. Our challenge this Rosh Hashanah is to find ways to continue to build this holy place, this community. Rosh Hashanah is about making amends. It is about teshuvah, about repenting, about returning, about coming back. We are taught that for transgressions done between a person and the Divine, the Day of Atonement atones. However, for transgressions between one person and another, the Day of Atonement atones, only if the first one appeases the other. If you think you might have offended someone pick up the phone and call. Send an email. Meet for coffee. It’s not too late. Whether this is a blood brother, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a child. Whether this is fellow congregant. Life is short. Too short sometimes. Abraham went back down the mountain. In the next parsha, Sarah dies. Abraham buries Sarah, finds a wife for Isaac and then he too dies. He died alone. Without the ties that bind. Without community. Without friends and family. Without Isaac and Ishmael with whom he never repaired the relationships. Isaac and Ishmael come back together again in order to bury their father only after he dies. But Abraham died alone. This Rosh Hashanah reach out and help create the ties that bind, this generation and into the next. Then it will be a sweet and a good new year. Ken yehi ratzon.