I am out of words but I won’t be silent. (On poster board, held up phrase by phrase).
This is the way a YouTube video clip by Alex Bryant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JAx99g9P74 began this summer. It went on to say…
Who am I?
Who are we?
Whose side am I on?
The police or the people? Black or white?
Do we have to pick a side?
Both sides have made mistakes.
But the fact remains we are all Americans.
We are all G-d’s children.
We each have each other
Perfect questions for this Kol Nidre. We are all God’s children. Or as we might say, we are all created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of G-d. The challenge is to find that divine spark. Sometimes it is easier than other times.
Show Upstander Cup from Starbucks.
I won’t be silent because our words matter.
Our words matter because we are a people full of words.
Words can hurt or heal. We need to use our words to heal. To bring this fractured world together.
We just chanted the haunting melody of Kol Nidre. All vows. All promises. Are forgiven. From this day until next Yom Kippur. Or from last Yom Kippur until now. Our words matter. Either way. Either translation of those tenses, our words matter.
What is the power of those words? What is the power of my words….
Our words matter. Yet I am out of words. Sometimes the power of Kol Nidre is in the very music itself. Not in the words of this contract.
65% of the sins we will confess with the Al Chet prayer have to do with speech. It is easy to say, “Guard your tongue.” It is another thing to do so. Every week when we read A Woman of Valor, I have done most of the checklist. Every week I feel I have failed at “She opens her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness is on her tongue.” Just ask my husband about getting ready for guests for Passover at our house. I am not always easy to live with.
I told this story at Selichot and again in Hebrew School this week. Once there were two women gossiping. They went to the rabbi to complain about the other. He, it is always a he, directed them to take a feather pillow into the market place and cut it open and scatter the feather and then return. They did as they were told. They returned to the rabbi. He directed them to go back and collect all the feathers. But that is impossible. So it is with words. Once they are out, they can never be recaptured.
Sometimes it seems impossible to have the law of kindness on my tongue. Sometimes then it is useful to have a structure, a set of rules to make difficult conversations productive and not turn them into screaming matches. This summer I attended a NewCAJE, a professional development conference for Jewish educators, together with Heather and Earl.
My all day Sunday session was on how to have conversations about Israel. At the very beginning, they handed out rules for dialogue from the Hartford Seminary, Building Abrahamic Partnerships:
- We agree to listen in a way that promotes understanding, rather than listen with the goal of countering what we hear.
- We agree to listen for strengths so as to affirm and learn, rather than listening for weaknesses so as to discount and devalue.
- We agree to speak for ourselves from our own understanding and experiences, rather than speak based on our assumptions about others’ positions and motives.
- We agree to ask questions to increase understanding, rather than asking questions to trip up or to confuse.
- We agree to allow others to complete their communications, rather than interrupting or changing the topic.
- We agree to keep our remarks as brief as possible and invite the quieter, less vocal participants in the conversation to speak.
- We agree to concentrate on others’ words and feelings, rather than focusing on the next point we want to make.
- We agree to accept others’ experiences as real and valid for them, rather than critiquing their experiences as distorted or invalid.
- We agree to allow the expression of real feelings (in ourselves and in others) for understanding and catharsis, rather than expressing our feelings to manipulate others and deny that their feelings are legitimate.
- We agree to honor silence, rather than using silence to gain advantage.
These rules work—whether we are in a classroom, a synagogue board meeting, a parking lot meeting, or building bridges in the wider community. They work, whether we are talking to our spouse, our friends, our neighbor, an employee, a boss. Whether it is a conversation with someone we love or someone we don’t know well or even mistrust. Whether it is Cubs fans and Sox fans, Michigan and Ohio State. Democrats or Republicans. Whether you agree with me personally or not. Here at CKI we strive to create a safe, non-judgmental space.
Once there was a man who left his country under a load of hay with his bride.
Once there was a man who was about to be conscripted. He took someone else’s name and fled the country. This is not the tale of a recent refuge, but it could be.
It is the tale of the original Simon Klein, the one Simon is named for. The one who founded Klein and Mandel Brothers on State Street, that became Mandel Brothers. The one who founded Chicago Sinai. His rabbi, Rabbi Emil Hirsch, who actually used to take a stage coach out from Chicago to help start this very synagogue, was famous for making his congregants uncomfortable.
Hirsch said about the role of the rabbi: “The world waits once more the prophet, would once more hear the word of a nobler view of life than gain and profit and greed…We need once more to feel that humanity is more than a pack of wolves fighting for the carcass by wayside. We need once more the stern sacramental words of duty and obligation, of righteousness and justice. Justice, mark you, not charity…justice we need. Social justice everywhere.” Imagine being an industrial mogul and hearing these words from the rabble rousing rabbi: “Sweatshops are an expedient of hell….your duty is stamp out this barbarous system.“
I stand before you tonight with nothing left to say. With my heart breaking.
I stand before you tonight, like Jonah, an unwilling prophet. Like Isaiah who had a vision of a world redeemed. Like Rabbi Emil Hirsch.
In the Hagaddah that Simon, my Simon compiled, he includes the quote we use every year…for decades…
First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
Rev. Martin Niemoller
So on a night when we talk about speech I am pained that maybe I didn’t speak out enough. How do I live with that?
On Yom Kippur, Yom Hakippurim, as it is called in Hebrew, we learn from the rabbis is a day like Purim. Yom, Day, Ha, the, ki, like or as, Purim. How is that possible? Partly because Esther fasts and repents, she puts on sack cloth and ashes and tears her clothes. But maybe more because after some persuasion of Mordechai, she finds her voice. Mordechai tells her that she has to speak up and save her people:
“Do not think that you will escape in the king’s house more than all the Jews. Because if you hold your peace at this time, then relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place…who knows, perhaps you are in this place for such a time as this.”
This congregation, and me as your leader did speak out:
- What if….we had remained silent and we didn’t speak up when widows, orphans and strangers need to welcomed, fed, housed, treated fairly as the Torah tells us 36 times.
- What if…we had remained silent and we didn’t speak up when children were bullied or women were abused
- What if….we had remained silent and we didn’t speak up when people denied the Holocaust.
- What if…we had remained silent and we didn’t speak up when people were massacred in a nightclub in Orlando
- What if…we had remained silent and we didn’t speak up about mass incarceration or systemic racism
- What if…we had remained silent and didn’t speak up when the Black Lives Matter organizers added BDS to their platform
- What if …we had remained silent and we didn’t speak up when people at school board meetings think that this is a Christian nation and that there is only one interpretation of scripture.
- What if we had remained silent and we didn’t speak up about sexual assault and the fact that 1 in 4 women in this country will be assaulted in her lifetime.
- What if….we had remained silent and we didn’t speak up when the Nazi flag appeared at the Kane County Flea Market
- What if….we had remained silent we didn’t speak up when Confederate flags appeared in my neighborhood of South Elgin
What if none of this matters? But it does.
In each of these cases, we followed the path of Esther. We built strong coalitions to work on each topic. We are not alone. Let’s just look at one example. The case of the Nazi flag.
The beginning of the story sounds like a joke. “A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a flea market.” But this is not a joke. It is all too real. And every one showed up. On 4th of July Weekend. On Independence Day The power of their speech brings hope not hatred.
Let me set the stage. On July 3rd, just after writing about Eli Wiesel’s death and his legacy for Elgin. I was called because a Nazi flag had appeared in Kane County. “Do something!” the caller urged. So I did. I contacted the business by email and requested, firmly and calmly the removal of the flag. It was. Maybe that should be the end of the story. But it is not.
I wrote to the Coalition of Elgin Religious Leaders, our police department and our elected officials. And to the Anti-Defamation League and the Southern Poverty Law Center. That is protocol. Well established protocol both here developed by our safety and security committee and nationally. The people selling the flag have every right to display the flag and sell the flag. That is law. Guaranteed by their first amendment rights.
This is actually the beginning of the story. And it is what makes Elgin great. A Lutheran pastor wrote an impassioned letter. An Episcopal priest showed up at my house and held my hand while we painstakingly researched white supremacists in Kane County. The Catholic chaplain called his friend at the Kane County Fairgrounds, the landlord. A Muslim leader who spoke at our recent vigil for the victims of Orlando sent a simple note, “Repression, Suppression and Oppression can’t be tolerated. May God give guidance to those who are misguided.” A Brethren pastor showed up with raspberry pie and the message delivered with tears in her eyes, that she would lay down her life to protect me and my congregants.
Our Resident Police officer told me, he was already aware and had stepped up patrols. Our mayor and his wife contacted me. Our elected officials, and their staff workers, all reached out.
Keep in mind, this was in a very short time period, less than 24 hours, over a holiday weekend, filled with parades, picnics, barbecues, fireworks, family time. Celebrating this great nation. No one needed to do so because it was in a job description. They did it because it is the right thing to do. Each one played a vital and important role.
The next day was the parade. That a synagogue can walk in the Elgin Fourth of July parade and not worry about safety. Together with a Lao temple, a Hispanic horse troupe, a Unitarian Church, the Boy Scouts, the YWCA, the Boys and Girls Club, high school marching bands. The Democrats and the Republicans running for office. The Fox Valley Citizens for Peace and Justice. 12,000 in the parade. 12,000 watching. As diverse a crowd as you can imagine, reflecting the diversity of Elgin and what is great about this nation.
I wish the story ended there.
Unfortunately, the story doesn’t quite end there either. There is much work still to be done, as a quick glance at Facebook and social media will tell you. This flag was not just war memorabilia being sold but something more sinister if you scratched the surface. There is no doubt that the purveyor is a white supremacist. There is no doubt that recent events in this country have unleashed unparalleled fear and hatred.
We need to continue building bridges. To continue combating hate. In all its forms. Wherever it is. Be it social media or the news media. Or the political arena. We need to speak out wherever there is hate speech. Whether it is a from a political candidate a local business or your neighbor. Whether it is against Jews, Muslims, Blacks, Hispanics, the LGBTQ community. We need to conquer fear with love. Fear with hope. This is the legacy of Eli Wiesel. He said,
“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”
Pirke Avot teaches us,“Lo alecha hamlacha ligmor, v’lo ata bein horin libatel mimena” One is not obligated to finish a task, but one is not free to ignore it” (Pirke Avot 2:21)
There is still plenty of work to do.
When I was struggling to find my voice, like Esther struggled to find hers, I reached out to other rabbis to see what they were planning to say. Many were facing the same struggle. The Chicago Board of Rabbis even had an extra sermon seminar to deal with this. One rabbi, Rabbi David Steinberg, helped me find my voice. He pointed out that the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur versions of the Amidah some additions. One of those additions is:
“Then will the righteous see and be glad, the upright rejoice, and the pious celebrate in song. For the mouth of injustice shall be shut, and all evil will vanish like smoke — when you remove the dominion of arrogance from the earth.”
This prayer will be my focus for the next 25 hours because it would be arrogant to think that because we have spoken out against injustice the work is done. There is a great deal of work still to be done to heal ourselves, to heal our country and to heal our world, from racism, from anti-semitism, from fear and hatred.
My vow this Yom Kippur is to find the courage to be like Esther. To build bridges. To build hope. To be that Upstander. To not stand idly by while our neighbor bleeds. To use my speech for good.
There is one more way where you opinion counts. At the voting booth. I had threatened to give the shortest High Holiday sermon on record. My directive remains the same. We have an obligation to vote. Go vote.
The Youtube clips ends here:
Now is our time
Our lives are connected
Who are we?
Who are we becoming?
The truth is it is not black or white.
It is dark versus light.
The dark side:
Fear leads to anger.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Love leads to forgiveness.
Let’s start again.
For us.
That is what Yom Kippur is about. Starting over. Reconciliation. Renewal. Hope. Love. That is what the power of speech can do. That is what finding your voice can do.
Gmar chatimah tovah. May the words of our mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable to You. May the power of our speech allow us to combat injustice everywhere. And may our words be as light and gentle as a feather.