In memory of Ron Raglin:

My words at the funeral:

On Tuesday morning, The sun came up. The school buses rolled. Kids went to school. Teachers taught. Learning happened. Just like it was supposed to. But the world seemed a little dimmer in the bright sunlight.

In my tradition, our job, according to the Talmud, is to bury the dead and comfort the bereaved. That’s what we are trying to do today. But it is so, so hard. No one wanted to be here today.

Let us pray. (In my tradition, you can either sit or stand. Do what is comfortable for you!)

We are assembled here with our friends and Ron’s family in the darkness that has fallen upon us. We raise our voices together with the Source of Life, asking for comfort and strength. We need light when gloom darkens our lives. We need fortitude and courage when pain and loss assail us. May we find these in God. Let us find them, too, in loved ones and companions, who do God’s work by binding up the wounds of the stricken.

We mourn with you Tena, and Matthew and Marissa, with all who loved Ron, because quite simply Ron loved you.

First you cry
We are crying, Lord
We are weeping, Lord
We know You are crying too.
We miss our friend, our colleague, our teacher, our mentor,
Our husband, our father, our Papi, our brother, our family
Our lives will never be the same.
We know that You cry with us.
That You walk with us.
Help us, O Lord.
Help us to carry on
Hold our grief and our tears.
Wrap us in a big Ron bear hug.
Let us hear that big Ron laugh.
Then help us remember
Help us to be like Ron
To smile that wide Ron smile
To be compassionate
To be passionate
To live with integrity
To live with authenticity
To believe,
To really know deep in our souls
That every child matters
That every child can succeed
To care about every student
To care about every person
Because we are all created in Your image
Because
All means all.

To know that ours is not to finish the task, neither are we free to ignore it.
To share his vision, Martin Luther King’s vision
Of a world where all of G-d’s children,
Black and white,
Brown and Asian,
Jew and Gentile,
Protestant and Catholic,
Muslim and Hindu and even seekers
Unbeleivers, agnostics, atheists alike
One day,
All will be able to join hands and sing.
Free at last! Free at last! Thank G-d Almighty, we are free at last!”
But first, we cry!

Ron, you are free at last, walking with the Holy One of Blessing. Your job here on earth is finished, but ours is just beginning, continuing. Look over Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done.

El Maleh Rachamin, God, full of mercy and compassion, grant infinite rest, in Your sheltering Presence under the protecting shadow of Your wings among the holy and the pure to the soul of Ronald Raglin, who has gone to his eternal home. Merciful One, we ask that our loved one find perfect peace in Your eternal embrace, May his soul be bound up in the bond of life. May he rest in peace. And let us say, Amen.

The Kaddish is a special prayer in Judaism that often called mourners prayer. Because even when someone dies, still we praise G-d for life. Originally it was created to honor scholars, rabbis and teachers. Originally it was written in Aramaic, the language of day, the language that Jesus spoke, so that everyone could understand it. Here is Kaddish D’rabbanan, the Scholar’s Kaddish, in English, for Ron, for all of U-46 staff so that we all can understand:

For our teachers, and their students, and the students of the students,
We ask for peace and loving kindness.
And let us say, amen
And for those who study Torah, here and everywhere,
may they be blessed with all they need.
And let us say, amen.
Chorus: We ask for peace and loving kindness.
And let us say, amen (6x)

Lyrics by Debbie Friedman, z”l

At the rising sun and at its going down in with those early morning phone calls and late night text messages;
We remember him.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter whether there is a snow day or not;
We remember him.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; with a long jump shot or at a Socratic Seminar
We remember him.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer and a slightly but only slightly more relaxed administrator’s schedule;
We remember him.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn as the first school buses roll;
We remember him.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends;
We remember him.
As long as we live, he too will live, for he is now a part of us as We remember him.

When we are weary and in need of strength;
We remember him.
When we are lost and sick at heart;
We remember him.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make;
We remember him.
When we have joy we crave to share;
We remember him.
When we have achievements that are based on his;
We remember him.
For as long as we live, he too will live, for he is now a part of us as,
We remember him.

Based on a Reading from Gates of Repentance

My thoughts: (Not given)

Every now and then the phone rings and it is not what you think. That’s what happened a week ago when Tony Sanders called and told me that Ron Raglin, the assistant superintendent of schools died. It was shocking. It was painful. It did not seem real.

Ron was the first person outside of my congregation I heard from when I moved to Elgin 7 years ago. We started the same week. He wanted to make sure I knew that I was invited, expected to attend his U-46 Clergy Council. I wondered how a public school system could have such a committee but if we do and since we do, I knew wanted a seat at that table. It was never a question.

Ron and I would go on to do many things together through the years. Most notably coffee or lunch. Neither schedule was conducive. He always made time. He spoke at CKI for Martin Luther King, jr. Day one year. He and I served on the Martin Luther King Celebration committee together. We shared books we were reading. I gave “Leaving Microsoft to Change the World” I still have one of his on trauma informed care. We had long conversations about educational philosophy, social justice, and faith. Always faith. He was a devoted Christian and a man of deep faith. He was prone to earlier morning phone calls for a Biblical citation or late night text messages. I am not sure that man ever slept!

He was committed to equity and justice. That was his title when he arrived at U-46. I joked he had the title I always wanted. He believed he could make a difference. He believed in mentoring. He believed that trauma-informed care would help make up some of the differences. You can’t learn if you worry about where your next meal is coming from, or if your parents are fighting or you don’t have a place to lay your head.

He worked tirelessly to achieve the mission of U-46. “U-46 will be a great place for all students to learn, all teachers to teach, and all employees to work. All means all.”

I used that phrase, All means all, when I would be called upon to speak at school board meetings. Not often but on some important topics. How to celebrate African American History Month. Policy around transgender bathroom and locker usage. How to teach religion in public schools. It is important to the study of emergence of alphabets, It is necessary when talking about the history of Europe like the Protestant Reformation or the arrival of the Mayflower and the establishment of the 13 Colonies. Or wars in Northern Ireland between Protestants and Catholics or the evil that was the Holocaust.

We worked on issues of racism and anti-Semitism. We helped with a rally after Charlottesville and a vigil after the massacres at the Pulse Night Club and the Tree of Life Synagogue.

He was always present, often behind the scenes, working for justice and providing his deep data dives. He always had a kind word, a deep respect and a real love, a passion for every single person, because all means all. He understood that every single person was created in the image of the Divine. Every. Single. Person. And he would be sure to remind you of that. He knew that G-d loved him. That G-d loves each of you. Period. For him it was simple. For me, it was never simple. He held himself to very high standards and had high expectations for everyone around him. And yet, he was one of the most forgiving people I know.

 

He had a big heart and big smile and a big laugh. I will miss this gentle giant greatly. There has not been a day this week where I have woken up without a Ron story or a Ron song. While I am honored, deeply touched to have played my behind the scenes role this week, it is a fitting tribute to Ron. A black evangelical man of deep faith and a rabbi. A rabbi helping plan a funeral for this man, down to the praise music. My playlist and Ron’s were very different. But when I thought about music, I came up with several for me.

Long Road to Freedom which I learned at Girl Scout camp and it turns out to be Christian Gospel. Who knew? Probably Ron.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txK5ZazkJBU

No More Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPm2Fye3Eu4

Carry On Sweet Survivor by Peter Paul and Mary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daIyK_gG08E

I Believe from Spring Awakening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY1VLM2pTqY

 

And several versions of the Kaddish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lodtbXUZTM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF2u7AFPPMo (At 21:19)

Tena came up with Blessings by Laura Story. It was perfect. I pray for blessings and peace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQan9L3yXjc

People wanted to know why? Why did G-d need Ron? Why did G-d call him home? That is not in my theology. But over and over again I was called upon this week to answer. This is what I said. Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote a book, “WHEN Bad Things Happen to Good People.” The title is not Why, it is When. What is up to us is how we respond. I choose to answer the call of G-d, “Where are you” with Hineini, Here I am, Lord. I will rededicate myself to the work that Ron and I were doing. Dedication in Hebrew has the same root as education. How appropriate for Ron. Also appropriate for a man who really understood love, I was moved to tears this weekend while leading services by Ahava Rabbah, the prayer that tells us that G-d loves us with an unending love. We know that love because like a good parent, G-d gave us Torah, a system of rules and limits. Something that Ron and I studied together. The prayer continues, to tell us that we that we should lilmod v’lilamed, we should learn and teach…both, learn and teach, two sides of one coin. That’s what Ron did. He learned and taught. And he made sure that every single child could. Every. Single. One. All means all.