For on this day shall atonement be made for you, to cleanse you; from all your sins shall you be clean before the Lord” (Leviticus 16:30).

This verse isn’t about taking a shower clean, although go ahead and take one. Rather, as Anita Diamant and her team at Mayyim Hayyim has said it is about being “ritually ready.” Tonight’s session is about being prepared. About the hard work that comes before Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. That work begins now. This very evening. With the very words that G-d said we should use.

“For sins between individuals and God, Yom Kippur atones, but for sins between one and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until one appeases one’s fellow.” Yoma 87B

This means that before we achieve “at one ment “ with G-d, we need to make our relationships right with each other first. The word Selichot means, “Excuse me”. If I were to bump into you on the street in Jerusalem, literally walk into you, I would say, “Selicha, Excuse me.” That’s what we are doing tonight with these prayers. We are saying, “Selicha, G-d, excuse me. I messed up. I missed the mark.”

“When R. Zeira would have grounds (for a grievance) against someone, he would pass in front (of the offender), thereby making himself available to him so that help would come and appease him.” Yoma 87a

We learn from this that in order to ask for forgiveness, in order to make the relationship right again, you need to be fully present. You need to hear what the other person is saying, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Brene Brown in her book, Dare to Lead, has a lot to say about feedback loops. We need to have the courage to do this. But it isn’t easy. It takes courage.

Sometimes repairing our relationships takes leadership, humility, compassion and forgiveness.

Exodus 32-34:6-7

That phrase “pass before” brings us back to another moment. You remember the story of the Golden Calf? Moses was up on the mountain for a very long time, 40 days. The people got nervous. What if he isn’t coming back? What if he died? They begged Aaron to build a Golden Calf so they could pray, in the other way they knew how. And they did. Moses comes back down the mountain, carrying his heavy load, what are these stiffnecked people doing? Dancing around a calf. He’s angry, really really angry. Can’t he leave these people alone for a minute? He shatters the tablets. Now the Holy One is angry and threatens to destroy the very people G-d rescued from Egypt. What are your people doing? (Note the pronoun, your). Moses reminds G-d that these are G-d’s people and bringing them out of Egypt only to kill them in the wilderness would look bad. “What will the Egyptians think.?” It’s like asking “What will the neighbors say.” And it works. G-d agrees to spare G-d’s people. However, G-d demands that Moses come back up the mountain. Moses says he is tired. Why should he? This is a stiffnecked people. Who would go with him? G-d promises to go with him and lighten his burden and give him rest. G-d also promises to hide him in the cleft of the rock and make all His goodness pass before him. Moses goes up the mountain, is hidden in the rock and sees G-d’s backside. Whatever that means. I liken it to the wind. We can’t see the wind, but we can see the breeze in the trees. Others have said it is the “afterglow of G-d”.

And then…Moses hears the Thirteen Attributes of G-d, the very essence of G-d’s Being. The very words that we will hear tonight, in Stew Levin’s hauntingly beautiful rendition of them. The very words that each year we begin saying tonight as part of Selichot, saying “Excuse me”. The formal words. We know how to sing them, so let’s do that. Now let’s read them in English, so we are clear.

The Thirteen Attributes of the Divine: A way to heal

The Lord! The Lord! A God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity, transgression and sin.

That’s what we just sang. That’s all we sing in the liturgy. But there is a little bit more:

yet He does not remit all punishment, but visits the iniquity of the fathers upon children and children’s children upon the third and fourth generation. (Exodus 34:6-7

The rabbis truncated the verse, reversing its meaning when we say it as part of the liturgy. It might be too scary sitting there if you heard that whatever you have done might be passed to your children and children’s children. In fact, the only sin that may not be able to be forgiven is idolatry.

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:18

The holiness code, which we know so well, is very clear in terms of repairing relationships. Do not seek revenge. That’s G-d’s job. Remember, “Vengeance is Mine,” says the Lord. And do not bear a grudge. No Hatfield and McCoy stuff here. No passing down these animosities from one generation to another. Even from one Yom Kippur to the next. We, too need to be like G-d and forgive.

Moses shows his leadership again while they are wandering in the desert.

Numbers 14:11-20

The people are kvetching again. G-d is threatening to destroy them, again. How long will they murmer against Me? Moses argues again that smiting the Israelites will not be good. Again, what will the Egyptians think? And then Moses adds: “ And now I pray, let the power of the Lord be great, according to what You have spoken: “The Lord is slow to anger, full of lovingkindess, forgiving of iniquity and transgression, that will be visiting the iniquity of the parents upon the children, upon the third and upon the fourth generation. Pardon, I pray You, the iniquity of this people according to the greatness of Your lovingkindness as You have forgiven this people from Egypt until even now.”

“And Lord said, Vayomer Adonai Selachti kidvarecha. I have pardoned you, according to your word.” Numbers 14:20

It is remarkable. It worked! And the very words that G-d says in response, are the very words you will hear again on Kol Nidre, right after Kol Nidre itself. Let that sink in, “Selachti kidvarecha. I have pardoned you.” Selicha.

Our verse keeps being repeated to effect change. Nehemiah, describing a day of fasting and penitential prayers, references the Golden Calf incident:

“Refusing to obey, unmindful of Your wonders that you did for them, they stiffened their necks, and in their defiance resolved to return to their slavery. But You, being a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, long-suffering and abounding in faithfulness, did not abandon them.” Nehemiah 9:17

Then the reminder is repeated again a few verses later in Nehemiah 9:31, “Still in Your great compassion, You did not make an end of them or abandon them, for You are a gracious and compassionate God.”

Jonah, too feels he needs to remind G-d of G-d essential forgiving nature:
“He prayed to the Lord, saying, “O, Lord, isn’t this just what I said when I was still in my own country? That is why I fled beforehand to Tarshish. For I know that You are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in kindness, renouncing punishment.” Jonah 4:2

The Talmud explains how these are the very words that G-d taught Moses:

“The Holy One, blessed be He, drew his robe round Him like the reader8 of congregation and showed Moses the order of prayer. He said to him: Whenever Israel sins, let them carry out this service before Me, and I will forgive them. ‘The Lord, the Lord’: I am the Eternal before a man sins and the same10 after a man sins and repents. ‘A God merciful and gracious:’ Rav Judah said: A covenant has been made with the thirteen attributes that they will not be turned away empty-handed, as it says, Behold I make a covenant. (Ex. 34) (Talmud, Rosh Hashanah17b)

While anthropomorphic, I love this idea of G-d donning a robe or a tallit and being the prayer leader, the shliach tzibbur.

The midrash is clear. Just as G-d is gracious, compassionate and forgiving, we need to be gracious, compassionate, and forgiving:

“To walk in God’s ways” (Deuteronomy 11:22). These are the ways of the Holy One: “gracious and compassionate, patient, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, assuring love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin, and granting pardon” (Exodus 34:6). This means that just as God is gracious, compassionate, and forgiving, you too must be gracious, compassionate, and forgiving. (Sifre Deuteronomy)

David, knowing that because of Israel’s iniquities the Temple was to be destroyed and that offerings were to cease, was distressed for Israel and asked: When trouble (in the wake of sin) comes upon Israel, who will atone for them? The Holy One replied: David, do not be distressed. Long ago I disclosed to Moses the order of prayers for forgiveness saying to him When troubles come upon Israel, let them stand before Me as one band and utter in My presence the prayers for forgiveness, and I shall answer them. Where did He reveal this order of prayers? (At Sinai), When the Lord enfolded His face, and proclaimed (the thirteen attributes of his mercy) (Exodus 34:6). This verse proves, so says R. Johanan, that the Holy One came down out of His thick cloud like an emissary of the congregation who enfolds himself in his prayer shawl as he takes his place before the ark, and disclosed to Moses the order of prayers for forgiveness….Whenever Israel gather in My presence and stand before Me as one band, crying out in My presence the order of prayer for forgiveness, I shall answer them. (Tana debe Eliyahu, page 516)

But there is one more piece. It is not just begging for forgiveness. Selichot prayers are important. However, as we learn from the Isaiah text for Yom Kippur afternoon, we need to feed the hungry and clothe the naked and house the homeless. That’s the fast that G-d desires. That and this:

“One time, when Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai was walking in Jerusalem with Rabbi Joshua, they arrived at where the Temple now stood in ruins. “Woe to us” cried Rabbi Joshua, “for this house where atonement was made for Israel’s sins now lies in ruins!” Answered Rabban Yochanan, “We have another, equally important source of atonement, the practice of gemilut hasadim (“loving kindness”), as it is stated “I desire loving kindness and not sacrifice” (Hosea 6:6) Avot de Rabbi Natan

So later this evening, when you hear Stew’s composition of the 13 Attributes, know, really know, that because G-d is full of mercy and compassion, you are forgiven, pardoned, according to your word.