What if the internet goes in and out. Not a complete failure but disruptive. You write up what you were planning on saying. Here is some of last night’s discussion….

With thanks to Temple Beth Sholom in New York and Congregation Kneseth Israel in Elgin, IL, we participated in a late night services to really “open the gates” of the Days of Awe. This ancient service used to take place just before dawn when Jews believed G-d is closest to us. Others would begin the service at midnight. We started at 8:30 East Coast time or 7:30 Central time.  

With the help of The Bayit and the excellent music of Cantor Jerry Korobow and the words of Rabbi Sharon Ballan we began with Havdalah and continued through the high lights of the prayers for the High Holy Days. It is all designed to get us in the mood, to beg G-d for forgiveness and to make us think, to reflect about our lives. For this we use the ancient words that G-d taught Moses, reminding G-d of G-d’s very nature that includes that G-d is merciful and compassionate, slow to anger, full of lovingkindness and truth, and forgiving of iniquity, transgression and sin. 

We used a setting for these 13 Attributes of the Divine from Beged Kefet.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRKs2k3e634   

This setting is part of how I became a rabbi. Growing up in Grand Rapids I was always reminded by others that the Jewish G-d is the G-d of vengeance and the Chrisitan G-d, you know, Father, Son and Holy Ghost is the G-d of Love. What I didn’t understand fully is that G-d is G-d. G-d is One. G-d is loving. Period. And G-d will forgive our sins. Period.  

Yet, we are also taught “For sins between a person and God, Yom Kippur atones, but for sins between a one and another, Yom Kippur does not atone, until he or she makes peace with his fellow.” 

My congregation has a four part vision statement that includes meaningful observance. It is a challenge, because what is meaningful to me might not be to you and visa versa. The real challenge is in making a life of meaning.  

Our discussion last night centered around Ron Wolfson’s book, The Seven Questions You’re Asked in Heaven, Reviewing and Renewing Your Life on Earth. 

Wolfson identifies seven questions that you might be asked in heaven. It fits squarely with the metaphor for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur that G-d is evaluating our lives and writing our names in the Book of Life.  

Here is the list: 

1. Did you tell the truth (in business and elsewhere)? 

2. Did you leave a legacy?
3. Did you set aside time to study?
4. Did you have hope in your heart?
5. Did you get your priorities straight?
6. Did you enjoy this world?
7. Were you the best you could be?

And for each question there are other questions that could be asked or explained. Let’s dive in.: 
1, Did you tell the truth? We talked about telling the truth can be difficult. Can mean in business that you are not a team player but in the end it is better. We talked about “Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?” and whether being able to maintain a filter can help. We talked about Brene Brown’s book, Rising Strong, and her idea that if we assume that everyone is doing the best they can, we can eliminate much grief.  As Wolfson said, “It’s not easy to live with lies.” And in fact, all the way back in our reading for Yom Kippur, the holiness code, we are commanded to have honest weights and measures. As our former CKI president would say, “It is all about balance.” Balance and honest in our work lives and in our personal lives. Honesty is about accountability. Do you count on others? Do others count on you? That’s how we become a blessing. Debbie Friedman’s beautiful misheberach, the prayer for healing of mind, body or spirit, says, “Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing.” Every one of us counts, just like in the beginning of the book of Numbers, which starts with a census. Honesty, truth, faithfulness are related words in Hebrew with the root, Emet, which is another name for G-d. It represents the first, the middle and the end. They are the key values of a life well lived. Be honest with others. Be truthful with yourself. Be faithful with your G-d. How are you honest.  

2. Did you leave a legacy? Many times we see our legacy, our place in time as our children and grandchildren. However, a legacy could be your children and grandchildren or it could be a poem or other writing or a business. Some people become teachers and their students are their legacy. (That applies to corporate training and mentoring too!) Nobody of their deathbed ever asks to be able to work longer. Most want to spend more time with family. (That gets to priorities, see below.) It is what you leave behind. What values do you want to leave? Here I usually tell the story of Honi. He saw a man planting a carob tree. “Why are you planting something you won’t be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor.” The answer was “Just as my ancestors planted for me, so too shall I plant for my children and grandchildren, my descendants.” It is part of how we live out the message of Girl Scouts, to leave the world a better place. How are you leaving a legacy? How are you teaching others? How are you making the world a better place? 

3. Did you set aside time to study? It teaches in Pirke Avot that we should, in fact, set aside time to study and many of the people on this call are active participants in adult study, whether that is a book group, adult Hebrew, Torah Study, even going to services. But study doesn’t have to just be Jewish. One person talked about teaching juggling to kids who were having a hard time succeeding in school. What great mentoring. Teaching and Learning in Hebrew have the same three letter root. For me and my husband, we try to study with another rabbinic couple every week. Thursdays at 2 will find Rabbi Steve Peskind, his wife Judy, Simon and me drinking coffee, laughing, catching up on our lives and reading a book together. Yet it is hard in our busy lives to keep to the schedule. Someone is late. One of us has a funeral. Someone has had a hard week. Currently, we are studying a book called “The Talmud of Relationships.” We don’t often agree with everything in the book but it is a great discussion starter. Pirke Avot also teaches that without Torah there is no bread (sustenance, income) and without bread there is no Torah. We also say that we turn it again and again. That’s why we read it in a yearly cycle. If we turn it again and again, we will learn everything. “Through the study of Torah, by applying its lessons to our lives, we learn to make a living and to make a life well lived.” The study of Torah leads to it all. See we are back to creating a meaningful life! Often, I have dreamed of learning Spanish or studying voice. Those goals will have to wait for another year. What do you long to study or teach? How do you make learning a priority? 

 4. Did you have hope in your heart? We talked about how hope helps us with fear. We talked about Rebbe Nachman’s song, “All the world is a narrow bridge. The important thing is not not be afraid.” Louis Armstrong sang, “What a wonderful world.” When G-d created the world, G-d saw it was very good. That’s hope. When Anne Frank was hidden, she wrote, “Despite everything, I believe people are really good at heart.” That’s hope. Roosevelt talked about it in his famous speech Obama wrote about it in the Audacity of Hope. “It wasn’t just the struggles of these men and women that moved me. Rather it was their determination, their self-reliance, a relentless optimism in the face of hardship.” But sometimes hope is hard. As Wolfson says quoting a cancer survivor, “We don’t always feel it. Whan you insist that we be hopeful and positive, we feel we have failed when we aren’t. Don’t cut off the possibility that we will share our burden with you and the opportunity to support us through hard times.” How have you fostered hope and optimism? 

5. Did you get your priorities straight? Did you understand one thing from another?  Say what? We’re back to priorities. What is really important to you? How do you find the things that matter to you most? How do we achieve balance? Sometimes I use a Star of David and put the things that matter to me most in the six points. Sometimes I replay the experiment of the rocks in the jar. (Spoiler alert—you will see that one in person or on Zoom soon). What is the most important to you? Ultimately, this is about asking the big questions. Did you ask questions about your life experience that led you to wisdom. Did that analysis lead you to understanding? As Wolfson put it, “Were you able to combine your analytical abilities with your hard-won wisdom from your experience to make good choices.” If you knew you only had one more day to live, what would you do? I’ve thought about this a lot recently. For me, I would still like to travel—that includes back to Israel and Italy and places I haven’t been, Alaska, Hawaii,  Giverny, Savanah. I would like to learn to dance. I would like to be a better wife and mother. And according to the very first piece of Talmud I ever learned, I should repent one day before I die. The rabbis then ask, how do we know when? Then we should repent every day. How perfect as we approach these Days of Awe. Teshuvah is not just for the Yamim Noraim but every day. These are the questions that will help us answer our big question. Did that you lead a life of meaning? 

6. Did you enjoy this world? This is the one that has really captivated me this year. In a year where it has been hard to celebrate, it is important to find ways to still enjoy life. The actual question was “Did you see My Alps.” G-d created the Alps and they are a thing of beauty and an awesome sight. It is OK to enjoy them. It is more than OK to enjoy them. You are supposed to. But like with meaning, what is enjoyable or pleasurable to you may not be to me and visa versa. The rabbis of the Talmud teach we should say 100 blessings a day. What blessings for pleasurable things can you think of. When we were driving through Michigan this summer there was a billboard, “Do what you love.” It was a sign for a job fair. Wolfson summed up this chapter giving us permission. “Enjoy G-d’s creation. All of it that is permitted to you. Each and every minute. Today…and every day.” How have you enjoyed this world. What would you still like to taste, touch, see, smell, hear?

7. Were you the best you could be? This was the question that Reb Zusia asked. When he was dying, he was crying. His students, his legacy, were surprised. “Why are you crying?, they asked. He answered, that when he died, he was not going to be asked, “Why were you not Moses?” Instead, he would be asked why was he not Zusia. This is like the Army commercial. We are asked to be all that we can be. We don’t need to be Moses or Zusia. We need to be the best we can be. We need to be fully, uniquely, ourselves. Figuring out who we are is our life’s work. 

And in the end, we decided that the questions are very interconnected. And related to the Mary Oliver poem, The Summer Day, which asks the question, “What do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.” We only have one life to live. That life is right now, in the present moment.  

Wolfson sums it up beautifully. “Now you have a choice. You can look at your life so far and answer the questions. Or you can look forward and ask yourself, “How can I get to yes.” How can I be more honest? How can I leave a legacy? How can I find time to study? How can I have hope? How can I prioritze? How can I enjoy? How can I be me?” 

Let’s ask these questions. Now while the gates are open.