G-d of the survivor,
G-d of the mourner and the witness,
Grant solace and peace to those still held by physical, emotional and spiritual distress from the attacks of 9-11. Release them from visions of death and destruction, from guilt or shame, from fear or anger. Bind their wounds with Your steadfast love. Lift them on Your wings of kindness and grace. 

Blessed are those who have found peace.
Blessed are those without tranquility. 

Blessed are those who speak.
Blessed are those who stay silent. 

Blessed are those who have healed.
Blessed are those who suffer. 

Blessed are those who forgive.
Blessed are those who cannot forgive. 

Blessed are You, Adonai our G-d, Source of strength for survivors of violence and tragedy in every land and in every age. Blessed are You, Rock of Israel, Source of hope and comfort. 
     Alden Solovy 

We just read these powerful words of my friend Alden Solovy:
“Blessed are those who forgive
Blessed are those who cannot forgive.” 

This is the 20th anniversary of 9/11. Each of us knows exactly where we were as that day with its unforgettable,  bright blue sky unfolded.   It was our honor to honor our local first responders last night. 

Today is also Shabbat Shuvah, the Sabbath of Return. Every week we sing the misheberach prayer where we pray for healing of mind, body and spirit. We pray the words of Debbie Friedman and Drorah Setel:  
May the source of strength
Who blessed the ones before us
Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing  

Those words echo over today. “May the source of strength.” In another song we sing, “Ozi v’zimrat Yah, v’hi lishua.” G-d is my strength and my might and my song, G-d is my deliverer.” We need strength and courage to heal.  We need strength and courage to forgive. We need strength and courage to do the hard work of teshuvah. 

Today’s Torah portion urges the Israelites, not just Joshua, to be strong and of good courage. Hizku v’imtzu. Plural. The usual formulation is chazak v’emetz. 

Chazak. Be strong.  

Dan Nichols sings: 

Chazak

We have come from near and far to raise our voice in song,
And the more we join in the re – frain, the more we feel strong.
Cha-zak, cha-zak, ve-nit cha-zeik.
There is a power in this place and time, it shapes the rest of our lives,
For when we return each year we find a truth we can’t deny.
Be strong, let us strengthen one another.
Be strong, let us celebrate our lives.
Be strong, let us strengthen one another.

Be strong doesn’t necessarily mean how much iron can you pump. It can also mean being resolute. Being strong in your convictions, in your beliefs, in your goals. “Im tirtzu, ain zo agadah, words of Herzl translated as “If you will it, it is no dream.”  

Koach, Oz, Chazak. All meaning strong or strength.  

May G-d give strength to G-d’s people and bless G-d’s people with peace. Adonai oz l’amo yiten, Adonai y’varech et amo v’shalom.  

But what of courage? The word in English comes from the Latin and the Old French: cour meaning heart. It is the ability to do something that frightens someone. It is strength in the face of pain or grief.  

There are 6 Attributes of Courage according to Psychology Today: 

6 Attributes of Courage
1. Feeling fear yet choosing to act.
2. Following your hear
3. Persevering in the face of adversity
4. Standing up for what is right
5. Expanding your horizons, letting go of the familiar
6. facing suffering with dignity or faith

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201208/the-six-attributes-courage  

The Cowardly Lion felt he needed courage. Can you build courage? Psychology Today suggests an exercise. Let’s try it: 

“Think of a situation as an adult when you felt afraid, yet chose to face your fear: 

• What did you observe, think, and feel at the time? (e.g., “I saw the rollercoaster and felt butterflies in my stomach”) 
• What did you or the people around you say, think, and do to help you face your fear? (e.g., “I told myself that if little kids could go on it, so could I”) 
• At what point did your fear start to go down? How did you feel afterwards? 
• Now, think back on a situation in childhood in which you faced your fear. How was it the same or different than the first situation? 
• Finally, think of a situation you are currently facing that creates fear or anxiety. What are you most afraid of? (e.g., being fired if I ask my boss for a raise) 
• Now, is there a way to apply the same skills you used in the two earlier situations to be more courageous in this situation? Remind yourself that you have these skills and have used them successfully in the past.  

And they tell us, if you repeat this exercise over the course of a week, using each definition of courage above you will be more courageous. By Day 7, you can come up with your own definition of courage that is most meaningful to you and repeat the whole exercise using this definition. 

Seven days, the same number of days that G-d took to create the world. The same number of days that we now know it takes to create a habit. You are creating courage. 

Brene Brown, in her book Rising Strong, identifies courage as one of the things we need for resilience. In her research, “wholehearted living means cultivating courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort but we can’t have both. Not at the same time. Courage means being vulnerable. Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness. It is our greatest measure of courage.”  

One of the places that takes courage is in doing teshuvah. Teshuvah, or return is often translated as repentance.Our text tells us that if we return, G-d will take us back in love. It is part of the covenant. What does it mean to return? 

In the old days, the rabbi would give a sermon twice a year. On the Shabbat before Passover, to tell you how to prepare and on Shabbat Shuvah, to teach you how to do teshuvah. Here’s a little secret. Sarah would tell you that I don’t do apologies well. It’s not that I am not sorry. It’s that the words don’t come out right. So today we are going to have you teach me.  

Our tradition says that for sins against G-d, Yom Kippur atones but for sins against other people, Yom Kippur does not atone until you have made peace between each other. So many people go to others at this season with an almost formulaic apology. That doesn’t work for me. It feels forced. It needs to be specific. For instance, Gene, I am sorry that I caught you off guard this morning because the Torah sheet was not attached to yesterday’s email. I am sorry that sometimes I skip dinner when I am teaching and then get testy at a later that evening board meeting. So I am sorry. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. But that’s not a great apology. I’m not sorry for my actions. I am not taking responsibility for causing you harm. 

When we do Ashamnu next week about 65% of our sins have to do with our language. Our words can hurt. We need to watch what we say and how we say it. Me too.  

Maimomides, the Rambam identified 12 steps to repentance. Perhaps the original 12 step program.  

Rabbi Paul Kipnes reduced those to six: 

1. Regret: We have to regret what we have done and feel remorse for it. We cannot really apologize or make amends for our actions if we don’t see what we do as wrong. 

2. Renounce:We have to look into our hearts and take responsibility. We have to admit first to ourselves that our actions were wrong. No excuses. No rationalizations. “Renouncing a sin does not mean we deny that it happened, rather it means we reject any sense that we needed to act as we did.”

 3. Confess: We need to confess that we missed the mark, that what we did wasn’t right. Saying something aloud to others makes it real, more concrete. 

4. Reconcile: This step begins to help heal the person wronged. It must begin with a sincere apology. It then needs a “long term investment of our time and energy as long as necessary, until the sinner and the person wronged are able to work through this problem.” Be patient. This is hard work. 

5. Make Amends: Sometimes this involves restitution, financial compensation, actual money to heal the wounds.We may need to volunteer. Give tzedakah. Keep in mind that a donation of money cannot buy forgiveness. It can, however, help others similarly hurt if given to appropriate organizations.  

6. Resolve: We need to resolve that if confronted with the same situation or opportunity to not repeat the offense. Only then is teshuva complete.  

In order to do teshuvah, it takes vulnerability. It takes courage. It takes strength. Chazek v’emetz. Hizku v’imtzu. Together, we will do it. May your teshuvah and my teshuvah be full, complete. May you be inscribed and sealed for a blessing.