I have a d’var Torah, a sermon written for tonight. However, before I can deliver it, there needs to be a new introduction. 

Tonight, we are going to talk about connections. Community. Relationships. We will. But first we need to pause. I am connected to Israel. To the land. To the people. To the State. It is a complicated relationship. But I am deeply connected. To the land that I have hiked. To the people, all of you, the stories I have learned from my earliest days, to the ethics that those stories and the thousands of years of commentary that it teaches, to each of you, to the Jewish people around the world.  to the country that I once lived in, to the dream of a place where Jews could live in freedom, without fear, without hatred.  

This past year has been impossibly difficult. This past week has been impossibly difficult. I am still connected to all of those things, I still believe in the dream. I still believe in the hope that Israel offers, I still believe.  

Some of you may feel connected to Israel. Some of you may not. Some of you may be sitting here tonight with a range of emotions, or no emotions at all. Some of you may wonder how we will ever find joy. How can we possibly celebrate Rosh Hashanah this year when time seemed to stop on Simchat Torah last year. Yet, as the saying goes “We will dance again.” Or as I read this week, “We will dance for them.”  

I hope you join me and will come back on Oct 6th for a Memorial for October 7th and all the lives lost and to remember the hostages. Then again on Kol Nidre to hear more formed thoughts. Tonight however, we pray for  a renewed commitment, connection to Israel. safety, for peace,  

And as always, we thank the Elgin Police Department for stepping up their coverage as Jewish institutions around the world have increased their security.  

Now for the real sermon: 

Imagine my surprise when I was at the grocery store and the newest Oprah magazine is called “The Power of Connection, Your guide to living joyfully. Building community, and finding deeper meaning in your life.” Wow! I bought the magazine without even thinking twice. Call it an impulse purchase. Or not. 

It is part of what we do here at CKI. We build community and create meaning. Hopefully we are joyful. After all, the Psalms teach us, “Ze hayom asah adonai. Nagila v’simcha bo. This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. So today, especially todayy, we say: Shanah Tovah. Happy New Year! The hope is it will be filled with joy. The reality as we have seen all too painfully, is that each year is filled with joy and pain. 

The joys include the little moments like watching our kids taste pomegranates for the first time or the dog practicing David Melech with me. Or the big moments, the baby namings, B-Mitzvah, graduations,  aufrufs, weddings. Pains can include health challenges, job losses, even deaths. Too many of those this year.  

That’s where community comes in. Together we celebrate. Together we support one another.  We laugh together and we cry together. 

For the next 10 days, and the rest of the year, we will learn about the Power of Connection. 

The beginning of this topic of connection at CKI came all the way back in April when the Torah School parents suggested it. Sitting around those round tables waiting for their students to be done with school and schmoozing about this new year they remarked that community is really about connection. And so, the yearly topic was born, long before Oprah’s magazine was on the market.  

It seems that what people want from/with community is connection. During the pandemic we were more isolated.  It has been hard to get that sense of connection and community back. Here and many other places. Yet, it was there then. It is here now.  Really. Come hang out with us on a Sunday morning. Join the Men’s Club for a Bears game or pizza. Say hello to someone you don’t know. Say hello to someone you haven’t seen in a while. And come to a shiva minyan. Hopefully not too many.  

We’re going to try that now. Introduce yourself to someone. Tell them something unique about you. That is how we are connected to each other. One to another. Understanding each other’s stories. Later you will get a bingo card. If you collect enough stickers, there will be a prize.  

The dictionary defines connection this way:
“Connection: a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else.” 

Connections are important. They provide emotional support. They can offer comfort, validation and understanding in times of crisis or uncertainty, but really at any point. They foster a sense of belonging, purpose and happiness. Recently I participated in the first part of the strategic plan for U-46 going forward. One of the most important things U 46 wants for the kids, and the students themselves named it is a sense of belonging and safety. 

Connections provide a safe space to share joys, challenges and vulnerabilities. They can offer celebration, support and comfort. People want to be seen and heard. We need to meet people where they are.  

Connections can reduce isolation and can improve a friend’s sense of self-worth and confidence.  

Connections can provide an opportunity for shared experience creating lasting bonds and life long memories.  

Connections can provide loyalty. A friend who will stick by you through thick and thin and will provide emotional support. 

Connections can provide fun and laughter. We have member who always answers her work phone, “Can I help you plan some fun.” That always makes me smile. Fun and laughter can have therapeutic mental health benefits.  

The Jewish people understood the power of connection long before Oprah. 

If you are looking for Biblical sources, from the very beginning, G-d said, “It is not good for Adam, for man, to be alone.”  

Martin Buber talks about it when he talks about I-thou relationships. We are at our best when we have I-Thou relationships. In the I-Thou encounter, we relate to each other as authentic beings, without judgment, qualification, or objectification. I meet you as you are, and you meet me as who I am. In the I-Thou relationship, what is key is how I am with you in my own heart and mind. Conversely, it is the opposite in an I-It encounter, when we relate to another as object, completely outside of ourselves. 

Ron Wolfson took that concept and wrote a powerful book for our more modern times, Relational Judaism, where he argues that we don’t need more programming in synagogues, we need to find ways to better foster connections and community in our synagogues. He continues, It’s not about programs. It’s not about marketing.It’s not about branding, labels, logos, clever titles, website or smartphone apps. It’s not even about institutions. It’s about relationships. (page 2-3) He is a master storyteller and the book is well worth reading.  

What people desire in synagogues are relationships, friends.  

Maybe here is where I tell that old joke. Goldman comes to synagogue to talk to G-d. Goldberg comes to synagogue to talk to Goldman. That’s why we have things like Apples and Honey, Thank you Nikki and Gene and  Ellen and Risa. And Break-the-fast, Thank you, Barb Razowsky. That’s why there is book group, and Torah Study and Torah School. Choir. Sure, they are about lifelong learning, but they also build lifelong friends.  

That’s why we deliver goody bags to those who cannot get here. It helps connect people to their community. It helps them know that people here care and remember them. 

The studies all show that the isolation and loneliness are an epidemic. In 2018 only 16% of Americans felt very attached to their local community. Yet that sense of belonging and acceptance is what we crave. 

 https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf 

“Each of us can start now, in our own lives, by strengthening our connections and relationships.” Vivek H. Murthy, M.D., M.B.A 

  Congregation Kneseth Israel helps break that cycle. This gives me hope.  

One of the things we need to work on as a society, as a community, is mental health. Across the board, our children, our adolescents and our adults. After our Unity on Division block party, designed to foster connections, community and fun, Pastor Dave Daubert and I were sitting quietly talking, we had just moved traffic cones and garbage cans because that’s what rabbis and ministers do these days. We were talking about mental health and he pointed out that he is most concerned about senior mental health, because the research shows that as we age not only our bodies age but our brains age causing increased mental health issues and increased isolation, and loneliness.   

The pandemic has been hard. Rising anti-semitism. The war in Israel. The personal losses and health challenges.  The ongoing sense of isolation and loneliness.  

“Today was a Difficult Day,” said Pooh.
There was a pause.
“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Piglet.
“No,” said Pooh after a bit. “No, I don’t think I do.”
“That’s okay,” said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.
“What are you doing?” asked Pooh.
“Nothing, really,” said Piglet. “Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don’t feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.
“But goodness,” continued Piglet, “Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you’ve got someone there for you. And I’ll always be here for you, Pooh.”
And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs…he thought that his best friend had never been more right.”
A.A. Milne 

What Piglet does is create a safe, non-judgmental space where Pooh can just be. That is part of what we do here at CKI.  

Soon you will hear more and more about a book I fell in love with, The Amen Effect, by Rabbi Sharon Brous.  

As a way to deepen the connections between people right here, we are going to try something new. Like many communities and cities, often driven by the library, we will do a One Book One Community Read. We will kick that off in November for National Jewish Book Month by reading as a whole community, The Amen Effect. There will be a program at Gail Borden in November. There will be other ways to participate. And taking a page from Oprah, every family will get a book. (But you have to wait until Yom Kippur. It takes a while to ship from Milwaukee.) 

Shortly after I finished it, Tish Calhamer from the Gail Borden Public Library, a dear friend and a significant partner with CKI called. She knew what our November Book Group Book should be. The Amen Effect. (Of course she says AMEN). Later Judi Tepe sent an email from Jonathan Shively who is the Executive Director of Fox Valley Hands of Hope, He had been referred to the book by Chaplain Ed Hunter, who heard about the book from me. The book has lots to say about connections. If I could sum it up quickly, she urges us, all of us to just show up. And so you have.   

There is a power in connection. Just ask Oprah. Connection and the community that comes with it brings me hope. Shana tova.